“@SashaHBIC: The BOSS makes her debut tomorrow, so Im working out w/ @AngeloDawkins! #HBIC #MissFit”
Sasha tweeted this after she finished her high intensity training. In other words, jumping rope until she got tired. She still had the plastic toy thing in her hand, and threw it like a lasso at her buddy Angelo. It wrapped around his head, and he nonchalantly shook it off. He skipped out on the workout and stuck with exercising his thumbs, checking out Twitter and Instagram. Boring.
She went over to the chair opposite from him and took a seat. She started scrolling through her feed too, when she came across something that upset her. She gasped dramatically, almost falling out of her chair. What she saw was truly shocking.
Sasha Banks: Angelo! ANGELO! Do you see this?! Are you seeing this right now? This is ridiculous! UGH!
She was having a legitimate meltdown. All Angelo did was look up at her over the rims of his hipster glasses. He grumbled before taking her iPhone from her and checking it out for himself. He chuckled then handed it back. Why was he laughing? He was supposed to be taking this seriously.
“@DeeDiva303: @SashaHBIC Um Girl why are u talking to urself? You rly have lost ur marbles SMH http://www.ebwf.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=1753”
Sasha Banks: Can you believe they put this on the website! I didn’t give them permission to film me like that! When I’m so VULNERABLE!!
Angelo Dawkins: Sasha, you scheduled the cameras to be there. You don’t remember tellin’ that man you were going to shoot your promo?
Sasha Banks: NO! You’re supposed to keep up with that stuff for me, Angelo! You’re my ASSISTANT.
Angelo Dawkins: I thought I was your bodyguard.
UGH.
She tried to kick the jump rope away but slipped on it. She lost her footing but managed to stay vertical. She picked it up in frustration then threw it across the room. That was after it whipped her in the back.
Sasha Banks: I straight up said to myself that somethin’ like that would ruin me. And look. I’ve got chicks tweetin’ me this mess. It’s like I hijinxed myself.
After brooding a little longer she sat back down. When Angelo still didn’t show any emotion, Sasha smacked his phone out of his hand. It looks like he was the one "hijinxed" now.
Angelo Dawkins: What’s wrong with you! Damn!
Sasha Banks: Oh so when your PHONE gets knocked out you wanna defend your PHONE. What about me Angelo?! Where were you when Michelle McCruel was busy verbally ASSAULTIN’ me?!
Angelo Dawkins: It ain’t even like that.
Sasha smacked her lips. She stood up, collecting her things. She was ready to go.
Sasha Banks: I oughta invest in one of those human leashes those bougie people put on their kids so they don’t run away. Cuz you’re just like a child. A big head, big nose, big face, overgrown CHILD, Angelo!
Angelo grunted and went to pick up his phone. Sasha grabbed her things, and started walking towards the exit. The scene faded out.
=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=
King of the Ring PPV
Sasha just got her final touch ups and was ready for her promo. Angelo didn’t need any real work done. He just needed to look fly, because he’d be in the background. Sasha in the front of course. She came second to no one. For her first true on screen capture, it’d be her and the camera. And Angelo. Nothing fancy, just her talking, which was far from fancy anyway.
Sasha Banks: Angelo! You ready?
Angelo Dawkins: For what? I’m just gonna be standin’ here.
Sasha wasn’t amused by his remark. She shook her head and took her place on the X marked for her to stand. Behind her was a backdrop with the EBWF logo on it. She was dressed up in a plain black business suit: a blazer, white tee underneath with the word BOSS, and a matching pencil skirt, and black wedge heels. She also wore her trademark gold shutter shades, which were a massive clash to the otherwise simple get up. Angelo stood beside her. His outfit clashed even more with hers. He wore an orange flannel shirt, khakis, a black snapback, and had headphones resting around his neck. A hot mess. She nodded to the camera man and he made the count down, and recording began.
Sasha Banks: Angelo, ask me a question.
He held out his hand, pretending to hold a mic. Whenever he spoke he held it close to him, and whenever Sasha spoke, he held it out to her.
Angelo Dawkins: Alright, have you seen that pic goin’ around showin’ Blue Ivy and Drake’s baby pic? They sayin’ that baby his! But it ain’t my business.
Sasha had to take her shades off for that one. What in the world was Angelo talking about?
Sasha Banks: Angelo, what the hell! Like, really, keep it wrestlin’ related. Duh. This isn’t TNT. I know I’m famous, but come on now.
Angelo Dawkins: You mean TMZ?
Sasha Banks: Yeah sure whatever. Angelo, ask me a question.
Angelo Dawkins: Ok, umm, well tonight you will be facing three other ladies in a fatal four way to get a shot at the women’s championship. What do you think about that?
Sasha Banks: That’s a great question Angelo! I am honored to be given the opportuntitty— OH. MY. G. Damn. That was hella embarassin'. Can we like, edit that out?
The producer shook his head yes and motioned for the scene to keep rolling.
Sasha cleared her throat and blew off her mistake. Angelo was trying not to laugh. How can someone mess up a word like that?
Sasha Banks: I’m honored to be given the CHANCE to participate in an event such as this. I’m obviously the most capable of all the ladies in this much. True talk. Now ask me about my opponents.
Angelo Dawkins: What about your opponents.
It wasn’t even a question to him.
Sasha Banks: Are you asking me or tellin’ me, Angelo? I don’t like bein’ bossed around because I’M The Boss.
Angelo Dawkins: Girl you know what I’m doin’ just answer the question.
Sasha put a hand up in his face and clipped her shades to her blazer pocket.
Sasha Banks: Which opponent Angelo? There’s FOUR.
Angelo Dawkins: There’s three opponents Sasha. You're not supposed to count yourself. Why don’t you say something about, ahemhmhmhmmh, Evaaa Mariiieeee.
He sung out her name to the tune Ava Maria. Sasha nodded her head in approval and smiled. She was happy to find that out.
Sasha Banks: Oooo Eva Marie in this match? She’s my BOO! We’ll take care of these other girls. I don’t have anything to say about her. I know she got my back just like I got hers. NEXT.
Angelo Dawkins: Ok then. Alexa Bliss.
Sasha Banks: Who’s that?
Angelo Dawkins: You know, the tiny cheerleader. From NXT.
Sasha Banks: Oh SNAP. Hold on. Wait a minute... Whaaat? Oh HELL no. Alexa Bliss? I think she snorts some of that glitter she blows out at the crowd. Her eyes twinkle. That’s super natural. If I were her I’d go to the doctor and get her eyes checked. She could get cat-tracks and that ain’t natural, either.
The camera man looked over his shoulder at the producer, who just shook his head. There was no way to cut that out without it messing up the flow of the taping. Her head was bobbing every which way. It added to the comedy of it all.
Sasha Banks: She’s like a my little pony, all that rainbow in her hair, and the frills and the glitter and sparkles. I know I’m pretty like a Barbie but do you see me going around acting like Rihanna, shining bright like a diamond? NO! Byeeeee. Next.
Angelo Dawkins: The last one. Mickie James.
Sasha put a hand to her chest and looked shocked.
Sasha Banks: Mickie James? Ain’t that the psycho who was obsessed with Trish Stratus? I hope she’s not tryin’ that mess again. Trish, you better hide your kids, hide your wife, and hide yourself because this girl Mickie is back and spookin’ everybody.
Angelo Dawkins: Trish Stratus doesn’t have a wife. But I wouldn’t mind if she did, know what I’m sayin’?
Sasha Banks: Shut up Angelo! Interrupting me like that. Tuh. So we have me, The Boss, and Eva, The Maxim Model. Aka the normal chicks in this match. Then we have the girl who looks like she only eats pom poms, Alexa Bliss, and then we got Mickie LAMES, so it’s obvious I am the most illegible to become number one contender for the women’s title. Or Eva. But it’s probably gonna be me.
She was trying too hard to sound professional. Ever since she came up on the women's champion, she found herself attempting to outdo her.
Angelo Dawkins: Yeah, you’re the most eligible.
Sasha Banks: That’s what I said. Do you ever listen to me?
Angelo folded his arms over his chest and groaned, unable to take much more. When Sasha turned back to face the camera, he look both ways then ducked out of the shot. Sasha was talking to herself.
Sasha Banks: If Alexa or Mickie think they’re gonna beat either Eva or myself for a chance at the women’s championship, they’re delusional. It’s nothing but a pigment of their imagination. Ain’t that right Angelo.
The self professed HBIC waited for him to respond. But he didn’t, because he wasn’t there.
Sasha Banks: I said, Ain’t that right, ANGELO.
She turned around and saw for herself he wasn’t there. Again. He ditched her, AGAIN!
Sasha Banks: Angelo?! Ain’t this some bull... ANGELO!!
Sasha also left the set to go on the hunt for Angelo. That left the video to come to an end, focusing on the company logo as the video cut off with the “Technical Difficulties, Please Stand By” screenshot.
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OOC: It's a lot of fun writing Sasha lol. I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did. Thanks for reading, byeeeeee.
