The Indianapolis Takas

[D.J]

OOC: Hey Guys. Hope you like this! Been a busy weekend, but managed to get something together! Good luck Miss Boss Lady :)

Kaientai was starting to pick up some steam over the last couple of weeks. Not only did Layla become the new EBWF Sky High Champion, not only was she victorious in her first round Queen of the Ring matchup, but even Funaki got into the act, by defeating Jimmy Jacobs in his first round King of the Ring Matchup. This Monday it was Taka Michinoku's turn to try and keep his team on the roll they've been on as of late. The former Intercontinental Champion would be facing Colt Cabana in more first round action. Would Kaientai be able to stay red hot? Time would tell, but if you asked them, they'd be sure to reply with one simple word.. "Indeed."

The scene opened up to the EBWF logo. We faded in to an outside shot of Lucas Oil Stadium in Indianapolis, Indiana. The camera then cut inside where we saw Taka Michinoku, Sho Funaki, and Layla El all sitting in a waiting room of sorts. They wore their respective personalized Kaientai T-Shirts and they all had on blue jeans. Funaki was looking at the "Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Addition, Layla was twirling her hair staring off into space, and as usual Taka was the vocal one. His mouth was moving a mile a minute and despite his two partners not really paying attention, it didn't seem to slow him down.

Taka: (voice over) I just don't understand it. I mean he hasn't even wrestled here for the better part of his career. He is an American who went to wrestle in Japan, that's where they send the bad American Wrestlers, just like they send the good Japanese Wrestlers to America. Or in this case.. the EVIL Japanese wrestlers.. A HA HA!

Funaki was drooling over one of the models and could not be paying less attention to Taka. Taka looked at him through the corner of his eye. When Funaki didn't respond Taka gave him a good hard elbow, which sprung Funaki to life. His mouth moved for about a half a second.

Funaki: (voice over) INDEED!

Taka: (voice over) He's not famous, he's not talented, he's not even in shape. Colt Cabana? It looks like he's spent too much time at a Cabana drinking and eating, and not enough time "being up in the gym, working on his fitness."

Funaki lit up.

Funaki: (voice over) FERGIE!

Layla cracked a smile as she picked up a People Magazine and started to read it.

Taka: (voice over) So knowing all that, knowing what a waste of space this guy is, not only to professional wrestling, but to all of mankind, one can't help but wonder why in the WORLD a professional football team would want to name themselves after a guy like that! Why not have it be the Indianapolis Takas. Now that's catchy! That would put butts in the seats. I can't wait to get in there and talk with this owner, and make that VERY proposal. Although with us we never really have to make a proposal. We ask first, and if they don't give us the answer we want, we intimidate them until they change their minds. Terror is the ultimate motivator!

Funaki nodded, and put down the swimsuit issue.

Funaki: (voice over) INDEED!

Layla's mouth began to move and she was heard talking to herself.

Layla: (voice over) Miley Cyrus is engaged? Wow that's so int.. wait a minute no it isn't.. why would I care about that? Why am I reading this.. why am I.. ohhh Kim Kardashian gossip coolness!

Funaki poked his head over Layla's shoulder so he could read with her.

Funaki: (voice over) INDEED!

Taka was annoyed.

Taka: (voice over) SILENCE!

Layla and Funaki straightened up like two kids who had just been yelled at by the teacher in school.

Taka: (voice over) We do not have time for Kim Kardashian gossip! Besides, there will be plenty more where that came from. That chick is more of a train wreck than Colt Cabana's wrestling career. Thank god he became friends with CM Punk, or Colt would probably be wrestling a drugged up Scott Hall at an American Legion for 12 bucks and a gift card to Burger King.

Layla smiled. She seemed very flighty today.

Layla: (voice over) Oooh I want a whopper.

Funaki rubbed his stomach in agreement.

Funaki: (voice over) INDEED!

Even Taka flashed a goofy grin at the latest exchange between his two teammates. In the background of the shot a nicely dressed woman in a business suit opened a door and came out into the waiting room.

Woman: Umm. Taka Michinoka?

Taka: (voice over) Michinoku! Get it right or be vaporized!

Funaki nodded and gave the lady a stern look.

Funaki: (voice over) INDEED!

Layla was still reading her magazine.

Layla: (voice over) I think Taylor Swift needs a boob job..

Funaki looked at Layla out of the corner of his eye, and gave her a quick nod.

Funaki: (voice over) Indeed.

The woman still stood in the door way, taking this all in. When it seemed to be over, she spoke.

Woman: Right.. they will see you now.

Taka smirked.

Taka: (voice over) It's about time. I thought I was clear that this was an urgent matter.

The woman was not impressed.

Woman: Well yeah, but we're a professional sports team.. so you know, the fact that you want to express an urgent matter well.. it doesn't really go to the top of our list right away.

Taka smirked again, a "pfft" sound was heard way off cue.

Taka: (voice over) I don't appreciate your sass, woman who hasn't been on a date in a decade. We should be on the top of everybody's list. Especially if the list is something like "Most Likely to Win King of the Ring" "Most Likely to destroy Colt Cabana" or "Most Likely to steal a lollipop from a baby and eat it in front of them."

Woman: But that's evil..

Funaki and Taka looked at each other and grinned. They then whipped their heads back at the lady in unison.

Funaki: (voice over) INDEED!

The woman seemed thrown that she was still talking to these guys.

Woman: OK OK OK, please come in.

Taka, Funaki, and Layla all made their way into the room where the Woman had come from. When they were inside the camera got a wide shot of a very large, plush, office. Behind a very wide desk sat Colts Owner and CEO, Jim Irsay. He didn't know quite what to make of the 3 men he was about to meet with. Regardless he stood up from his seat and extended his hand.

Jim Irsay: Hello welcome to Indianapolis! Jim Irsay.

Taka looked at his hand.

Taka: (voice over) Hand shakes are for the weak.

Funaki and Layla both looked at Jim, like he should be ashamed of himself.

Funaki: (voice over) Indeed.

Jim smiled and titled his head, you could almost hear "what the hell did I take this meeting for?" in the look on his face.

Jim Irsay: Very well. OK, well what can I do for you guys? We got a busy day here, but you said it was urgent.

Taka: (voice over) Yes it is urgent! I don't usually do this, but I want to help you. I have come here today to propose that you change the name of your football team from the Indianapolis Colts to the Indianapolis Takas.

Jim looked up at the woman who was sitting behind Kaientai. As if to say "are they serious." The woman shrugged. Jim went to respond, but Taka's voice over cut him off. It startled him because Taka's mouth didn't move at all, in fact he was stone faced.

Taka: (voice over) Hear me out. There is NO reason why a professional football team should be named after Colt Cabana. The guy is a fat loser. So if you name your team after a loser your team will be destined to be a loser. It might not happen anytime soon, since you have the best quarterback in the world in Peyton Manning, but eventually associating yourself with Colt Cabana will lead to your team losing, and losing often.

Funaki whispered something into Taka's ear, as he often does. Taka nodded.

Taka: (voice over) What? They got rid of Peyton Manning? Andrew Luck? Well they're going to need a lot of Andrew's Luck if they are going to win a game next year..Well how'd they do this past year?.. 2 and 14?! A HA!

He pointed at Jim, which once again seemed to startle him. Jim was definitely regretting letting this trio into the room. Layla was touching things on Jim's desk, and every so often Jim slapped her hand away.

Taka: (voice over) It's just as I warned you! Your team is already a loser, and Jim you are to blame. Not only were you stupid to let Peyton Manning leave, but you were stupid long before when you named your team after someone like Colt Cabana. If you think I'm wrong, which I never am, you can tune in on Monday Night when I tear him limb from limb, just like pretty much every other team seems to do these days to your pathetic excuse for a football team.

Funaki: (voice over) INDEED!

Layla picked up a model airplane that was on Jim's desk and began to examine it.

Jim Irsay: OK first of all, put that down.

He grabbed the airplane from Layla.

Jim Irsay: Second of all, we are not named after Colt.. Cabana was it?

Funaki: (voice over) Indeed.

Jim Irsay: We are named after the horse.. Colt the type of horse. Not Colt Cabana.. not Colt 45.. not Colt from the movie the 3 Ninjas.. Colt the Horse! So to answer your question NO we will not be naming the team the Indianapolis Takas. I think that's an idea that even the XFL would have said no to.. wrestlers...

Jim laughed. Taka, Funaki, and Layla pantomimed laughter right along with him. The laughter was heard seconds later. All of a sudden all 3 of them got extremely serious looks on their faces. The laughter stopped and Jim was still going. He stopped shortly after Kaientai had.

Taka: (voice over) So you're telling me that you are not named after Colt Cabana, that your not named after Colt 45, and that your not named after Colt from the movie 3 Ninjas.. awesome reference by the way.

Funaki nodded impressed.

Funaki: (voice over) Indeed.

Taka: (voice over) And that you are actually named after a horse?

Jim Irsay: That's exactly what I'm saying.

Taka: (voice over) That's the lamest thing I've ever heard! A HA HA HA!

Funaki and Layla again pantomimed laughter and it was heard louder and boisterous than the time before.

Jim Irsay: Well I'm sorry you feel that way. Is there anything else I can help you with.

Taka shook his head no.

Taka: (voice over) Trust me Jim, between your lame team name, your 2-14 season, and your terrible off season moves, I think it is YOU that needs help not us. We're winners. Layla is the Sky High Champion, Funaki has already moved on in the King of the Ring tournament, and next week on Warfare, I too will win.. because that's all we do Jim. All we do is win, win, win no matter what... because well.. we got money on our mind and we can never get enough.. and not to mention that every time I come up in the building everybody's hands go up...

Funaki and Layla put their hands in the air.

Taka: (voice over) and as you might imagine.. THEY STAY THERE..

Funaki: (voice over) Indeed.

Taka: (voice over) AND THEY STAY THERE

Funaki: (voice over) Indeed.

Taka: (voice over) AND THEY STAY THERE.

Jim had seen enough.

Jim Irsay: OK enough of this, you 3 have a nice day.

Jim extended his hand, Taka looked at it, which jogged Jim's memory.

Jim Irsay: Right.. for the weak.. gotcha.. OK, so long.

Taka, Funaki, and Layla stood up from their seats. Layla picked up the model airplane again, only to have it snatched once more by Jim. As Kaientai left the office, Layla motioned as if she was going to attack the woman only to pull back at the last second. The woman was very startled and let out a quick scream, which made Layla smile. The scene cut away and we were now back outside of the stadium with Kaientai walking towards the parking lot.

Taka: (voice over) Well that's comforting to know. I mean for as lame as actual Colts are.. at least Colt Cabana doesn't have a football team named after him. Even though at this point they may as well be. 2-14, is about the record Colt can expect to have in EBWF providing two of his opponents have to forfeit their match. Unfortunately for Mr. Cabana, I will not be one of those opponents. Not only will I show up on Monday, but I will show up completely and 100 percent focused on not only defeating him, and moving on in the King of the Ring tournament, but also on hurting him and making sure that NONE of us have to sit through another one of his matches, at least in this country, ever again.

Funaki: (voice over) INDEED!

Taka: (voice over) As much as I hate to do this to our beloved home of Japan, Colt could be on his way back there. Our match will be so one sided and so embarrassing that EBWF will have no choice but to let him go, and even if they don't, Colt will be so humiliated that he will leave on his own. That's what we call a win/win situation. As far as the 3 of us goes for the rest of our time here in the EBWF, well that's what we call a win/win/win situation.

Funaki: (voice over) INDEED!

Layla smiled.

Layla: (voice over) Oh I get it, because there are 3 of us, and all we do is win, win, win.

Taka: (voice over) No matter what.

Funaki: (voice over) INDEED!

Taka: (voice over) DJ Khaled songs aside, this Monday Night will be a complete dismantling of the underwhelming scrub of a wrestler that is Colt Cabana. Kaientai is on fire right now, we can't stop, we won't stop, bad boy baby.

Funaki: (voice over) DIDDY!

Taka: (voice over) As if what we have done since our return wasn't enough to convince everyone, Monday Night will serve as more evidence that we are a team to FEAR! On Warfare, it won't matter if I get drunk on Colt 45's, and then have to face Colt Cabana, Colt from 3 Ninjas, and the entire Indianapolis Colts, all riding on actual Colts, I will not be denied, and I will not be stopped. The reason for that, revolves around the simple fact that I am just too quick, I'm too strong, I'm too talented, and most importantly I am far, far, far too.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!

Taka flashed a goofy smile. Funaki nodded in full agreement.

Funaki: (voice over) INNNNNDEEEEEEEED!

The camera cut to a wide shot of Kaientai walking together. The scene then faded out to the EBWF logo.