I'm Lightning!
Posted: Sat Oct 18, 2014 11:53 am
OOC: Good luck to my opponent, hope you all enjoy this.
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It was October 19th. Outside was a little chilly, typical Jersey weather. Inside, it was nice and toasty, and the smell of freshly prepared food wafted throughout the house. Everything was well lit, neat, and organized. Just like you’d expect of any family home. It’s quiet at the moment. A cab pulled up to the curb, a man came to the door, and rang the doorbell. Instead of waiting for someone to come and get him, he just opened it.
Enzo Amore: MA! I’m here! Where you at!
A small woman rushed out from the dining room and to the door, a potholder in one hand and a large ladel in the other. She greeted him with a welcoming hug and a few kisses too. Despite his overly manish appearance, he took all his momma’s love he could get.
Ma: Enzo! Ya made it. Momma’s glad ya made it home.
They both started to walk to the dining room.
Ma: Your father has been so excited to see you, Enzo. He almost had a heart attack when he heard you at the door.
When they got to the table, Enzo’s dad had already stood up and rushed over, greeting his son the same way his mother did.
Enzo Amore: Good to see you, daddy-o. I gots to talk to you both about somethin’, too. And talkin’ over Sunday dinner is just the cherry on top.
Daddy-O: Yeah yeah, siddown why don’t ya.
Everyone took their place at the table. Enzo sat at the end, and his parents on either side of the table, sat across from each other. Enzo immediately reached for his knife and fork and went to serve himself, but got a hard smack on the hand.
Enzo Amore: Ouch! C’mon ma, ain’t you hit me enough as a baby? That’s why my eyes bug out now.
Ma: Enzo, you needs to say your grace. Go ahead dear.
Mom and dad both closes their eyes, but Enzo looked at them bug-eyed and shook his head, before clenching his shut too.
Enzo Amore: Dear Jesus, yous my homeboy. You’s the realest guy in this room. In the world. So thanks for letting me fight my way back here on this lovely day today, the day of Sunday dinner, to enjoy this with my ma and pops. Amen.
Everyone served themselves. Their plates were full. Enzo’s was mostly meat. While his parents decided to go with wine, he went with water.
Daddy-O: So tell me my son, what’s it you wanna talk about, huh?
Enzo Amore: Yeah! You know what pops, you’s gonna be so proud of me when you hear this. Tomorrow night over in Brooklyn, I’ma be on Warfare again. ‘Cept this time, I’ma be in the ring with Lance Storm, man, LANCE STORM!
His parents clapped and cheered for him, and they even gave cheers; all three of their glasses clinked together.
Ma: We are so proud of you, my little Enzo.
Enzo Amore: Ma, I ain’t little no more, you gotta stop sayin’ that. It’ll ruin my rep.
Daddy-O: Yeah, stop ruinin’ this young man’s rep here.
Enzo Amore: Thank you, pops. As I was sayin’, I’ma be bumpin’ heads with Lance Storm tomorrow night. I want you both to watch. If I beat him tomorrow night, I’ll be going solid into the E-B-W-F. And make you even more proud.
Ma: Now Enzo, you know momma doesn’t keep up with all these boys you work with. Who is Lance Storm?
Enzo dropped his silverware and they clinked on his plate. He held his head in his hands and started shaking and mumbling to himself.
Daddy-O: Why you’s gotta ask him a question like that, look! Now he’s doin’ that thing he does again.
Ma: Oh stop it, the both of yous. Enzo sit up and tell us already. And finish your food, so you can eat the rest of this. I don’t want any leftovers tonight.
Enzo took a huge gulp of water and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, sitting back in his chair. Then he sat forward, and calmly began explaining.
Enzo Amore: Ma, Lance Storm is AWESOME! Pops here can tell you all about him. You should remember this. Did you see how he kicked the CEO in the nads like that on a live pay-per-view?! And not just any CEO, Christopher freakin’ Jericho, bro! THAT takes some serious guts, that only a man could have.
Both his parents nodded furiously. Now they knew who he was going up against.
Enzo Amore: But look. I gotta tell you both somethin’. Lance Storm is SAWFT!
Mom and Dad both gasped and shook their head. His dad started coughing and had to take a drink of wine, and his mother reached out to grip Enzo’s hand tightly.
Ma: Enzo! You can’t just go and say that about anybody, he could have goons! He could send them to the house and beat you up or threaten us!
Daddy-O: Yeah, you’s tryna have us sleep with the fishes?
Enzo Amore: No, just listen, ok? Who kicks another man’s frank and beans like that? That’s against bro code. Lance Storm broke it. Coulda broke Jericho’s voice too. Kickin’ another man in the groin is way outta line. It’s only done when there’s no way out. Lance Storm is a SISSY BOY! He knew Big Bad rockin’ Jericho was gonna smack him silly, even though he had his new friend Trent wit’em, 2 against 1, so he kicked him in the gonads. Ain’t that like genocide, too? Lance Storm is Canadian, CJ CEO is Canadian, too.
Ma: That’s no good, people are just going around kicking each other in the groin! It’s unhealthy!
Daddy-O: Kids these days, just going wild I tell yous. It ain’t right!
Enzo shrugged and took another huge bite out of a chicken leg. He talked with his mouth full.
Enzo Amore: We ain’t seen Jericho that much since this whole thing happened. Maybe Y2J is dead. Who knows. Cuz I know that kick to the groin just killed me watchin’.
Ma patted Enzo’s hand to comfort him.
Ma: It’s just not right. I know I never raised you to kick no one in their private area like that.
Daddy-O: You go kickin’ people in the crotch Enzo, and I’ll kick you in the crotch. Got it?
Enzo shook his head and wiped his mouth, with a napkin this time. He shook his head and stared at his plate for a second. Then looked up.
Enzo Amore: And then he just stood there like nothin’ happened. He didn’t even laugh, man. But when is that any different from when Lance Storm does somethin’? He’s got this permanent frown. Maybe that’s why he kicked Y2J in the man cave. Thought he’d get a kick out of it, but it ain’t done nothin’ for him.
It was quiet again as everyone stopped to ponder for a second, then burst out into hearty laughter and started eating again. Conversation picked up on a much more happy note: an interesting discussion about hair.
-----------
The next evening, Enzo was in Brooklyn, New York, for Warfare. He took an early morning flight out from Jersey, and should’ve been exhausted, but for some reason seemed extra pumped. The show was stacked tonight, with lots of great matches to follow his. And for the second week in a row, and only his second match with the company, he got to be in the opening match. He opened the door from the men’s locker room, and stopped to cup his gloved hands around his mouth.
Enzo Amore: BADA BOOM, REALEST GUY IN THE ROOM! Ahhhhh.
Then he flexed, his muscles bulging slightly. For a guy who was substantially smaller than much of the roster, he packed on a lot of muscle mass. And confidence. He was in his usual attire; baggy tiger striped jorts, white nike’s, and no t-shirt. Someone on the other side of the door yelled at him to shut up, and he just waved it off. Matt Striker met him right there, mic in hand and ready for an interview.
Matt Striker: I don’t believe we’ve met. I’m Matt Striker. Nice to meet you, Enzo.
Enzo Amore: Matt Striker, man, how you doin’? How’s the kids, the wife, the dog, you know.
Matt Striker: Uhh, I don’t have any kids.
Enzo Amore: And you’s don’t got a wife either, huh? Hahaha. It’s ok though, I feel for you man. I don’t gotta a girl right now either, but that’s gonna change reaaaal soon. I can guarantee THAT!
Matt Striker: Right… So tonight you will be facing Lance Storm. He recently teamed up with Trent and has caused a bit of trouble by attacking interim CEO Chris Jericho.
Enzo Amore: Yeah Matt, this is true. And the man didn’t even blink when he did it. That’s some hard stuff, man. He musta seeen some stuff before to not even be bothered by what he did. But that’s Lance’s problem. He ain’t got no life in’em. He needs to enjoy what he does, man. You gotta take a break from the HARD life sometimes! But never go sawft. That ain’t cool. Get animated bro! Get PUMPED LIKE ME! AHHHHH!
Enzo flexed again and started breathing heavily. Matt put an arm out, motioning for Enzo to calm down. He started muttering apologies to Matt and shook his head a little, and even smacked his chest.
Matt Striker: Well ok. It seems like you’re physically and mentally prepared for your match. Coming off of a win over The Miz, I can only imagine your confidence going into the ring tonight.
Enzo started bouncing up and down and rolling his shoulders and head, and stopped when he was ready to talk.
Enzo Amore: Oh yeah, my confidence is sky-high right now. I beat the Miz. He even called me a jamoak, man. But this jamoak here beat him, and this jamoak here is about to beat Lance Storm too! He may be thunder, but I’m the lightning and I will strike him so fast he won’t know what him him. BADA BOOM!
Without any warning, Enzo walked off the set and started down the hallway, leaving Matt Striker behind. He went through the black curtain, and when he reached the entrance to the ramp, his entrance theme “Sawft is a Sin” hit and the crowd gave a mixed reaction to his arrival. Somewhere as he passed through the curtains, he was handed a mic, and held it up. Then he brought it down as he started walking slowly down the ramp to the ring.
Enzo Amore: REALEST GUY IN THE ROOM! Certified G from Jersey, Bay-bee. And ain’t nothin’ SAWFT about that!
The crowd made some more noise as he slid into the ring, reaching down to dust off his sneakers before standing straight again in the center of the ring.
Enzo Amore: HOW YOU DOIN’?!
Spit flew out of his mouth and his voice went hoarse as he called out to the crowd without using the mic. A few cheered for him.
Enzo Amore: Look, I ain’t about this switchin’ these peeps here been doin’ these last couple weeks, between Miz and Lance Storm, these betrayals just ain’t cool. These hoes ain’t loyal!
The crowd went wild at his inappropriate rap reference.
Jerry Lawler: Did he just call The Miz and Lance Storm a garden tool?!
Jim Ross: Forget that, King! He shouldn’t have even said the word, no matter who he’s talking about!
Enzo Amore: And you know what New York? That makes Lance Storm S-A-W-F-T, SaaaAAAAAWFT!
The crowd spelled it out with him, and when he was done he dropped the mic right out in front of him Eminem style, then walked to his corner to wait for his opponent.
----------
It was October 19th. Outside was a little chilly, typical Jersey weather. Inside, it was nice and toasty, and the smell of freshly prepared food wafted throughout the house. Everything was well lit, neat, and organized. Just like you’d expect of any family home. It’s quiet at the moment. A cab pulled up to the curb, a man came to the door, and rang the doorbell. Instead of waiting for someone to come and get him, he just opened it.
Enzo Amore: MA! I’m here! Where you at!
A small woman rushed out from the dining room and to the door, a potholder in one hand and a large ladel in the other. She greeted him with a welcoming hug and a few kisses too. Despite his overly manish appearance, he took all his momma’s love he could get.
Ma: Enzo! Ya made it. Momma’s glad ya made it home.
They both started to walk to the dining room.
Ma: Your father has been so excited to see you, Enzo. He almost had a heart attack when he heard you at the door.
When they got to the table, Enzo’s dad had already stood up and rushed over, greeting his son the same way his mother did.
Enzo Amore: Good to see you, daddy-o. I gots to talk to you both about somethin’, too. And talkin’ over Sunday dinner is just the cherry on top.
Daddy-O: Yeah yeah, siddown why don’t ya.
Everyone took their place at the table. Enzo sat at the end, and his parents on either side of the table, sat across from each other. Enzo immediately reached for his knife and fork and went to serve himself, but got a hard smack on the hand.
Enzo Amore: Ouch! C’mon ma, ain’t you hit me enough as a baby? That’s why my eyes bug out now.
Ma: Enzo, you needs to say your grace. Go ahead dear.
Mom and dad both closes their eyes, but Enzo looked at them bug-eyed and shook his head, before clenching his shut too.
Enzo Amore: Dear Jesus, yous my homeboy. You’s the realest guy in this room. In the world. So thanks for letting me fight my way back here on this lovely day today, the day of Sunday dinner, to enjoy this with my ma and pops. Amen.
Everyone served themselves. Their plates were full. Enzo’s was mostly meat. While his parents decided to go with wine, he went with water.
Daddy-O: So tell me my son, what’s it you wanna talk about, huh?
Enzo Amore: Yeah! You know what pops, you’s gonna be so proud of me when you hear this. Tomorrow night over in Brooklyn, I’ma be on Warfare again. ‘Cept this time, I’ma be in the ring with Lance Storm, man, LANCE STORM!
His parents clapped and cheered for him, and they even gave cheers; all three of their glasses clinked together.
Ma: We are so proud of you, my little Enzo.
Enzo Amore: Ma, I ain’t little no more, you gotta stop sayin’ that. It’ll ruin my rep.
Daddy-O: Yeah, stop ruinin’ this young man’s rep here.
Enzo Amore: Thank you, pops. As I was sayin’, I’ma be bumpin’ heads with Lance Storm tomorrow night. I want you both to watch. If I beat him tomorrow night, I’ll be going solid into the E-B-W-F. And make you even more proud.
Ma: Now Enzo, you know momma doesn’t keep up with all these boys you work with. Who is Lance Storm?
Enzo dropped his silverware and they clinked on his plate. He held his head in his hands and started shaking and mumbling to himself.
Daddy-O: Why you’s gotta ask him a question like that, look! Now he’s doin’ that thing he does again.
Ma: Oh stop it, the both of yous. Enzo sit up and tell us already. And finish your food, so you can eat the rest of this. I don’t want any leftovers tonight.
Enzo took a huge gulp of water and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, sitting back in his chair. Then he sat forward, and calmly began explaining.
Enzo Amore: Ma, Lance Storm is AWESOME! Pops here can tell you all about him. You should remember this. Did you see how he kicked the CEO in the nads like that on a live pay-per-view?! And not just any CEO, Christopher freakin’ Jericho, bro! THAT takes some serious guts, that only a man could have.
Both his parents nodded furiously. Now they knew who he was going up against.
Enzo Amore: But look. I gotta tell you both somethin’. Lance Storm is SAWFT!
Mom and Dad both gasped and shook their head. His dad started coughing and had to take a drink of wine, and his mother reached out to grip Enzo’s hand tightly.
Ma: Enzo! You can’t just go and say that about anybody, he could have goons! He could send them to the house and beat you up or threaten us!
Daddy-O: Yeah, you’s tryna have us sleep with the fishes?
Enzo Amore: No, just listen, ok? Who kicks another man’s frank and beans like that? That’s against bro code. Lance Storm broke it. Coulda broke Jericho’s voice too. Kickin’ another man in the groin is way outta line. It’s only done when there’s no way out. Lance Storm is a SISSY BOY! He knew Big Bad rockin’ Jericho was gonna smack him silly, even though he had his new friend Trent wit’em, 2 against 1, so he kicked him in the gonads. Ain’t that like genocide, too? Lance Storm is Canadian, CJ CEO is Canadian, too.
Ma: That’s no good, people are just going around kicking each other in the groin! It’s unhealthy!
Daddy-O: Kids these days, just going wild I tell yous. It ain’t right!
Enzo shrugged and took another huge bite out of a chicken leg. He talked with his mouth full.
Enzo Amore: We ain’t seen Jericho that much since this whole thing happened. Maybe Y2J is dead. Who knows. Cuz I know that kick to the groin just killed me watchin’.
Ma patted Enzo’s hand to comfort him.
Ma: It’s just not right. I know I never raised you to kick no one in their private area like that.
Daddy-O: You go kickin’ people in the crotch Enzo, and I’ll kick you in the crotch. Got it?
Enzo shook his head and wiped his mouth, with a napkin this time. He shook his head and stared at his plate for a second. Then looked up.
Enzo Amore: And then he just stood there like nothin’ happened. He didn’t even laugh, man. But when is that any different from when Lance Storm does somethin’? He’s got this permanent frown. Maybe that’s why he kicked Y2J in the man cave. Thought he’d get a kick out of it, but it ain’t done nothin’ for him.
It was quiet again as everyone stopped to ponder for a second, then burst out into hearty laughter and started eating again. Conversation picked up on a much more happy note: an interesting discussion about hair.
-----------
The next evening, Enzo was in Brooklyn, New York, for Warfare. He took an early morning flight out from Jersey, and should’ve been exhausted, but for some reason seemed extra pumped. The show was stacked tonight, with lots of great matches to follow his. And for the second week in a row, and only his second match with the company, he got to be in the opening match. He opened the door from the men’s locker room, and stopped to cup his gloved hands around his mouth.
Enzo Amore: BADA BOOM, REALEST GUY IN THE ROOM! Ahhhhh.
Then he flexed, his muscles bulging slightly. For a guy who was substantially smaller than much of the roster, he packed on a lot of muscle mass. And confidence. He was in his usual attire; baggy tiger striped jorts, white nike’s, and no t-shirt. Someone on the other side of the door yelled at him to shut up, and he just waved it off. Matt Striker met him right there, mic in hand and ready for an interview.
Matt Striker: I don’t believe we’ve met. I’m Matt Striker. Nice to meet you, Enzo.
Enzo Amore: Matt Striker, man, how you doin’? How’s the kids, the wife, the dog, you know.
Matt Striker: Uhh, I don’t have any kids.
Enzo Amore: And you’s don’t got a wife either, huh? Hahaha. It’s ok though, I feel for you man. I don’t gotta a girl right now either, but that’s gonna change reaaaal soon. I can guarantee THAT!
Matt Striker: Right… So tonight you will be facing Lance Storm. He recently teamed up with Trent and has caused a bit of trouble by attacking interim CEO Chris Jericho.
Enzo Amore: Yeah Matt, this is true. And the man didn’t even blink when he did it. That’s some hard stuff, man. He musta seeen some stuff before to not even be bothered by what he did. But that’s Lance’s problem. He ain’t got no life in’em. He needs to enjoy what he does, man. You gotta take a break from the HARD life sometimes! But never go sawft. That ain’t cool. Get animated bro! Get PUMPED LIKE ME! AHHHHH!
Enzo flexed again and started breathing heavily. Matt put an arm out, motioning for Enzo to calm down. He started muttering apologies to Matt and shook his head a little, and even smacked his chest.
Matt Striker: Well ok. It seems like you’re physically and mentally prepared for your match. Coming off of a win over The Miz, I can only imagine your confidence going into the ring tonight.
Enzo started bouncing up and down and rolling his shoulders and head, and stopped when he was ready to talk.
Enzo Amore: Oh yeah, my confidence is sky-high right now. I beat the Miz. He even called me a jamoak, man. But this jamoak here beat him, and this jamoak here is about to beat Lance Storm too! He may be thunder, but I’m the lightning and I will strike him so fast he won’t know what him him. BADA BOOM!
Without any warning, Enzo walked off the set and started down the hallway, leaving Matt Striker behind. He went through the black curtain, and when he reached the entrance to the ramp, his entrance theme “Sawft is a Sin” hit and the crowd gave a mixed reaction to his arrival. Somewhere as he passed through the curtains, he was handed a mic, and held it up. Then he brought it down as he started walking slowly down the ramp to the ring.
Enzo Amore: REALEST GUY IN THE ROOM! Certified G from Jersey, Bay-bee. And ain’t nothin’ SAWFT about that!
The crowd made some more noise as he slid into the ring, reaching down to dust off his sneakers before standing straight again in the center of the ring.
Enzo Amore: HOW YOU DOIN’?!
Spit flew out of his mouth and his voice went hoarse as he called out to the crowd without using the mic. A few cheered for him.
Enzo Amore: Look, I ain’t about this switchin’ these peeps here been doin’ these last couple weeks, between Miz and Lance Storm, these betrayals just ain’t cool. These hoes ain’t loyal!
The crowd went wild at his inappropriate rap reference.
Jerry Lawler: Did he just call The Miz and Lance Storm a garden tool?!
Jim Ross: Forget that, King! He shouldn’t have even said the word, no matter who he’s talking about!
Enzo Amore: And you know what New York? That makes Lance Storm S-A-W-F-T, SaaaAAAAAWFT!
The crowd spelled it out with him, and when he was done he dropped the mic right out in front of him Eminem style, then walked to his corner to wait for his opponent.