Spoiler Alert!

[D.J]

OOC: Here is my Kaientai RP for the week, enjoy!

Screw the Undertaker's WWE Wrestlemania Streak, Kaientai (that being Layla, Taka, and Funaki) had now won.. well THREE matches in a row combined. OK so it's not exactly nearing the Deadman's legendary mark, but it was certainly cause for the trio to be in a good mood as they continued to roll in the EBWF King and Queen of the Ring tournaments. Next up for them would be 2nd round action, and all 3 of them would be put to the test. Taka going one on one with Kurt Angle, Layla would have to deal with Kaitlyn, and Funaki may have the tallest task of all going head to head with CM Punk. Fear or concern was not an option, however, because as we all know fear AND concern is for sissies.

The scene opened up in an office of sorts. There was a large mahogany desk in the middle of the shot, and sitting behind that desk was none other than Taka Michinoku. He wore a white shirt with a navy blue tie, and he had on a pair of glasses. Certainly not the start of a normal promo involving Taka or any of Kaientai for that matter. He held a quill pen in his hands and dipped the bottom of it in ink that was sitting on his desk. Taka was perhaps the only person that could be using a quill pen in 2012, and the first question you ask is "What's with the tie?" He began to use the pen to write on a piece of paper that was lying in front of him. As he wrote, that very familiar voice was heard. Although this time it was to verbalize what was being written on the paper, not to imply that Taka was "talking." The production style was clear that they were trying to rip off an old fashioned movie when they portray people writing letters to each other.

Taka: (voice over) Dear Funaki, If you are reading this, then you have just completed the second disk of Hooked on Phonics, congratulations.. but in all seriousness.. If you are reading this, than "it" has happened. What's it you ask? How did I know you were going to ask that, you ask? Why am I so cool you ask? When will I ever stop guessing the questions you are asking me, you ask? Clears Throat

Taka pantomimed clearing his throat.. as if his Funaki could travel back in time to check if he actually cleared his throat.

Taka: (voice over) "it" has happened.. the "it" I'm referring to is of course my becoming the 2012 EBWF King of the Ring. I just want you to know, that this was NOT an easy journey. This was an even harder Journey than going to the center of the earth with The Rock and Vanessa Hudgens. Although I feel any journey with Vanessa Hudgens may be a hard one.

The scene cut away to an identical scene only Funaki was now behind the desk, also in a shirt and tie, also using a quill pen. He put down a piece of paper that one could only imagine was Taka's letter. He then began to write furiously on a piece of paper.

Funaki: (voice over) Indeed.

Back to Taka. He continued to write.

Taka: (voice over) This was a journey that matched me up with several different opponents, that thanks to my enormous muscles and unrivaled wrestling talent, I was able to vanquish. It started with that chubby leech Colt Cabana, and then it went to Olympic Gold Medalist Kurt Angle. Many felt that I would be over matched wrestling against someone with such an impressive resume. Fortunately, I could care less about resumes, it's all about who you know.. and I happen to know Layla, and Layla said it was OK for me to pulverize Kurt Angle, so I ripped his resume up, went with the advice of my contact, and I well pulverized him.

Back to Funaki's scene. Layla was now over Funaki's shoulder. She wore a white blouse and long gray dress that made her look like a librarian. She stole the pen from him and wrote on the paper.

Layla: (voice over) Glad I could help! Layla wrote this. Kaitlyn sucks.

Funaki grabbed the quill pen back.

Funaki: (voice over) INDEED! Funaki wrote this.

Back to Taka's scene. The letter continued.

Taka: (voice over) Kurt Angle tried everything in his arsenal. He tried to grab me around the waist. He tried to tackle me to the floor. He tried to grab my ankle and swing me around from it, but I didn't feel like letting him do any of that, so instead I stopped the madness and just tore him apart. What Kurt Angle failed to realize was just how vicious I am. He thought that our match was going to be a classic wrestling match that he was used to from back in his amateur days. Where he and his opponent would shake hands, roll around a little, until he landed on top of him, the referee counted to one, and that was it. When in reality, I don't shake hands because being a terrible sportsman is one of the endlessly long lists of things that make me so incredibly EVIL!

Predictably we cut to Funaki and Layla's scene. Layla had the pen in her hands. She was writing, but Funaki's voice was heard.

Layla: (Funaki's voice over) INDEED!

Layla's mouth started to move.

Layla: (voice over) Ha! He thinks he's evil, he's going to read that and think it was you! MWAHAHA!

Funaki flashed a sinister smile, appreciating Layla's diabolical trick.

Funaki: (voice over) INDEED.

The scene cut back to Taka who was now reading a piece of paper.

Taka: (voice over) "Indeed," thank you Funaki.

The scene cut back to Funaki and Layla who were still pantomiming uproarious laughter with laughter sounds following suit. We then cut back to Taka who continued with his letter.

Taka: (voice over) Not only do I not shake hands, I don't roll around and wrestle like a girly man. I waste no time with beating my opponent senseless, and it was no different with Kurt in this match. There was NO rolling, if he wanted rolling he should have pulled out his old Limp Bizkit CD, because I got things to do, like win wrestling matches by being exponentially more terrifying than the man I'm standing across from in the ring. So no handshake, no rolling around in the ring, and of course in the EBWF the referee has to count to three not to one. The fact that Kurt Angle is proud of winning in a form of wrestling where you only need to get a 1 count is absolutely ridiculous. Vern Troyer could sit on a bear for a one count, but then the bear would maul him to death. So what's a one count really? It's nothing, and I'm sure Kurt's wife would agree. As she is often forced to lay in bed unsatisfied due to Kurt's belief that his job is done after a one count. A real man's job is never done after a one count!

The scene cut back to Funaki and Layla. Layla wrote.

Layla: (voice over) NO IT IS NOT.. winky face.. from Lay. PS Kaitlyn Sucks.

Back to Taka, who continued his thought on paper.

Taka: (voice over) So you need a three count, and there was only one man in that matchup that was ready to earn one, and that man was me. Many people called the victory an "upset," but the only person that was upset was Kurt Angle, and I don't mean he was "upset" in the way that would mean my previous two sentences contradicted each other.

Funaki and Layla were now on camera looking at each other confused. They both shrugged Layla whispered something to write in Funaki's ear. Funaki nodded excited about what she had suggested. He wrote on the paper for what seemed like a full minute.

Funaki: (voice over) Indeed.

Taka was ready to elaborate when his scene returned.

Taka: (voice over) In other words I don't mean that Kurt Angle losing to me was an upset, I'm upset that you would think that I would think that my beating Kurt Angle was an upset, and that I'd be so upset about that, that I'd write that it was an upset, in what would have then become an upsetting letter. What I DO mean is that Kurt Angle was upset, as in he was sad that he would no longer be able to compete in the King of the Ring Tournament, due to a victory by me that made me the opposite of upset. I don't want to say it made me happy, because happiness is for little bunny rabbits and rainbows.. but it gave me a sense of excitement knowing that I would be moving forward towards my goal of being King. People looked on in disbelief as I gave Kurt the Michinoku Driver in the center of the ring. They said "how could this be?" "Kurt has an Olympic Gold Medal!" To those people I say that medal in the scope of what it means in the EBWF may as well be one of those medals that you can peel away and there's chocolate inside.. because here that Olympic Gold Medal means NOTHING.. and at least if he had the other kind of medal.. he could have ate the chocolate as comfort food, after receiving such a complete thrashing at the hands of ME! Sure he wouldn't be King of the Ring but at least he'd have chocolate.. and chocolate is delicious.

Funaki was now seen eating one of those chocolate inside a gold medal that Taka described. As he chewed happily, he swiveled his pen on the piece of paper.

Funaki: (voice over) INDEED!

Taka was ready to finish this letter off.

Taka: (voice over) So after Kurt Angle was taken care of, many other superstars tried to step up, but they much like Kurt Angle, fell. Each one harder than the last. That's what a very slutty "she" said.

Funaki and Layla were giggling as they read. Funaki dropped the pen in laughter.. but still as if he had written it..

Funaki: (voice over) INDEED.

Taka was back.

Taka: (voice over) I became King of the Ring, and the EBWF was FORCED to BOW DOWN TO KAIENTAI! Make no mistake about it, the victory over Kurt Angle was the start of the momentum that would carry me through the rest of the tournament. Which is why I spent so much time in this letter describing that match, it was in no way because I'm not actually from the future, and I'm writing this letter before the match with Kurt even took place... because the final match up with.. that other superstar was just as memorable! Sincerely, Future..

Taka went to erase what he had written but quickly remembered he was using a quill pen. He quickly made a cross out.

Taka: (voice over) Present King of the Ring Taka Michinoku.

The door to the office opened and Funaki and Layla walked in, dressed in the same outfits as they donned in their "scene." Taka seemed excited and animated when he saw them.

Taka: (voice over) That was fun, pretending to be from the future, all the while using old fashioned writing utensils to send a wave of confusion to our PRECIOUS little viewers..because chronologically that entire thing made NO sense.. they were probably all.. "wait is Taka in the past? Is he in the future? What about Funaki and Layla? Where are they? Are there horse and buggies.. or flying cars? What is happening?!" A HA HA imbeciles..

Funaki nodded with a smile on his face.

Funaki: (voice over) INDEED!

Taka: (voice over) Little did they all know that I actually haven't even faced Kurt Angle yet, and that I will face him on Monday Night.

Taka looked quickly to see that the camera was still on. He looked back to Funaki with a quick look of panic that turned back into a look of cool confidence. Layla and Funaki followed suit.

Taka: (voice over) And by that I mean, I already faced him, and defeated him.. like I said before.

Layla smiled

Layla: (voice over) Yeah and I beat Kaitlyn.. because she sucks.

Funaki: (voice over) INDEED!

Taka: (voice over) Sorry to spoil the show for you! Actually, I'm sorry I'm not sorry.. except I'm not even sorry that I'm not sorry that I'm not sorry..

Layla: (voice over) I'm confused.

Taka: (voice over) Sorry.

Layla: (voice over) Are you?

Taka: (voice over) No!

They all cocked their heads back and evil laughter was heard.

Taka: (voice over) So to our opponents watching this in the past, who are now hopefully resigning themselves to the fact that their Monday June 18th match-up doesn't go their way. There is nothing to be ashamed of when it comes to losing a match to us.. because in the Past, Present, and where we are now, The FUTURE, Kaientai was, is, will be slash currently am for us.. because we're in the future.. UNSTOPPABLE.. and UNDENIABLY

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

Funaki took us home.

Funaki: (voice over) INNNNDEEEEEEEEEEED!

The camera faded out to a half second of static.