One By One.. By DAMN ONE
Posted: Sun Feb 01, 2015 11:53 pm
The Rock had certainly made an impact since returning to the EBWF. Perhaps no other man in the history of professional wrestling held the weight that the "People's Champ" held. No other man could captivate an arena so swiftly and decisively. He had quickly made his way into the conversation of major players in the EBWF in just a few short weeks. Of course when you were The Rock, you certainly weren't used to being in the background when it came to.. well anything. The spotlight is where The Rock belonged, and that was where he would be from right now until the time he laced up his boots for the last time. The thirty man rumble match was a chance for The Rock to gain another chance at Solomon Crowe's EBWF Championship. To do it, The Rock would have to go through 29 other men, The Rock was certainly never someone to give up or give in, but he'd certainly have his work cut out for him.
The scene opened up in what was very fancy looking home. The first view we got was that of the outside of what was seemingly a multi million dollar mansion. The camera panned inside, and there sat The People's Champ, The Rock. He wore a black sweater, his trademark sunglasses and black pants. Behind him were plaques and momento's of what had been a prestigious career to date. The Rock paused for a beat or two before he finally began.
The Rock: There are only a few things, a few things that people in this business TRULY look forward to. Maybe it's a big match at Wrestlemania, maybe it's a big interview, maybe it's their first chance at a title belt, or maybe.. like it is in this case.. it is a chance to compete in the Royal Rumble match.
The Rock paused for effect.
The Rock: You see there's nothing like the Royal Rumble match to get the blood pumping, the adrenaline rushing though your veins, the excitement building in your body, because you know just like EVERY other superstar that steps foot in that match that the winner of the Royal Rumble goes on to main event, the grand daddy of them all.... Wrestlemania.
The Rock cracked a half smile.
The Rock: And see that is EXACTLY what The Rock plans on.. NO.. that is exactly what The Rock WILL do, after he goes through 29 other men.. one.. by one... by damn one. You see, since The Rock returned to the EBWF he has made a quick impact, but is the Rock where he wants to be? You bet your bottom dollar that he is NOT.. because as The Rock sits here and speaks to the millions.. and millions of his fans, the man holding the World Title is named Solomon Crowe. Solomon Crowe is the EBWF Champion, and The Rock is sitting here talking about it, good god almighty what is the world coming to? What is the world coming to that the BEST wrestling company on god's green earth is sporting a chubby little goth kid as it's World Champion. Well make no mistake about it, though The Rock was NOT victorious in his first shot at the gold, after the Royal Rumble match is said and done, after the dust has settled, and the smoke has cleared and The Rock walks out of the Royal Rumble the number one contender for the EBWF Title, there is NO WAY.. AND THE ROCK MEANS.. NO WAY.. that Solomon Crowe is going to get by The Rock again.
The Rock shook his head.
The Rock: Ever since the day came where The Rock's shoulders were pinned to the mat one.. two.. three.. that very sight has haunted The Rock.. it's stayed in The Rock's mind. It has LITERALLY eaten away at the Great One. So with that said, the second The Rock steps in the Royal Rumble, the Brahama Bull is going to be seeing nothing but red, as The Rock is going to be full speed ahead, head down charging, head down destroying, anything that comes into his path. All for the one goal, the one mission, of walking out number one contender for the EBWF Championship.
The Rock paused again, and cocked his head down before he continued.
The Rock: Now just who is The Rock going to have to go through to make this sentiment a reality? Just who is The Rock going to have to dismantle, to get back in the ring with the Pillsbury Punk Rock Boy? Maybe The Rock's going to have to go through MVP. Yeah MVP is going to get in The Rock's way, MVP is going to be "BALLIN" out of control and take The Rock's chance at becoming the number one contender for the EBWF Title. MVP, you may think that you scare The Rock, you may think that your presence demands respect in this business, but unfortunately for you, The Rock wipes a Monkey's Ass with what you think! You see MVP, you may think you're the most valuable player. Or even less confident than that, you may claim that MVP stands for your name Montel Vontavius Porter.. but as far as The Rock is concerned MVP can only stand for one thing and one thing only, and that is EXACTLY what you truly are and that is the MOST VULNERABLE PUSSY.. The Rock has ever seen.
The Rock paused as this would have been a time that if he were in front of a capacity crowd, they would have lost their minds. He continued after this brief stoppage.
The Rock: Or maybe The Rock's going to have to go through Dolph Ziggler. The new age Bad Ass Billy Gunn. Wearing pink and light blue, and lime green like he was going to a rave party. The Rock has news for you Dolph Ziggler. You may think your pretty "hot stuff" you may think that each time you step into the Rock's ring that you're "showing off" but The Rock is a bit of a show off himself. You see, if you try to get in The Rock's way at the Royal Rumble, The Rock is going to show off his size 15 boot, he's going to show it off to the crowd, he's going to hold it up, off the ground so that everyone can get a good look at it, and then he is going to show it off to it's new home, to it's new destination, and that destination that The Rock will be showing it off to, is directly inside your Magic Mike wiggling candy ass.
The Rock remained stone faced as he went on to his next adversary.
The Rock: You see The Rock isn't going to be biased. He's going to be non discriminatory, he's going to be equal opportunity. Whether it's MVP, Dolph Ziggler, CJ Parker, Sami Zayn, or Syxx. The Rock isn't going to give one drop of reindeer piss who is in front of him, becaus he's going to be that focused on what is at stake. He is going to be that focused on the prize at hand. You see someone like Sami Zayn, many people would think The Rock would consider a threat. Many people would think that The Rock would take Sami Zayn serious as someone who could potential win the Rumble match and go on to headline wrestlemania. Well The Rock says you are Sami Inzane if you think that The Rock is going to let that happen. You see The Rock knows, that Sami Zayn has made a name for himself in his short time in professional wrestling, but you see The Rock also knows that he's the biggest name that there is, and if pure, unadulterated violence doesn't work, The Rock will simply have to go 40 year old virgin on Sami and wax every hair off his chest until he's yelling "OHHH KELLY CLARKSON" on his way over the top rope and OUT of The Rock's way!
The Rock smiled
The Rock: And when it comes to Syxx, The Rock doesn't know what else he can say. The Rock already made his point LOUD and CLEAR when Syxx stepped in the ring with The People's Champ. Syxx came out in front of all The Rock's fans and spewed monkey crap lie after monkey crap lie, about how he was going to dominate The Rock, about how he was going to get the best of The Rock, and what happened? Well The Rock well tell you exactly what happened The Rock smacked the taste of pot brownies, Jack Daniels, and Kevin Nashes stroodel out of his mouth, and the yellow off of his teeth and was victorious.. and that is EXACTLY what The Rock will do on Sunday at The Royal Rumble if Syxx has any ideas of Bronco Busting The Rock's chances at going to Wrestlemania.
The Rock paused before he continued once more.
The Rock: From one man who just plain is lewd and crude to another man that feels the need to try and convince us that he is, The Rock may also have to go through Edge. Which means The Rock may have to go through that horse teeth blonde haired bimbo, and no The Rock isn't talking about Kate Mackinnon on Saturday Night Live. You see Edge, you also seem to make it back to the world of wrestling right when people are just about ready to forget about you. The Rock comes back to wrestling, so Edge has to come back to wrestling. Like there's some unspoken competition between you and The Rock. Like The Rock is coming to your motley crue look alike contests trying to steal your thunder. You see Edge, the fact of the matter is this, no matter how much you can't stand it, The Rock is always going to be parked in your spotlight. The Rock is always going to garner the attention and adoration that you crave. So you can come back at the same time as The Rock that's fine. You can pull at your hair, drool on the ring, and spear dudes all you want, that's fine, The Rock can't tell you how to act in your own bedroom.
The Rock paused for a second and cracked a wry smile.
The Rock: But in all seriousness, Edge, you can quite frankly act how ever you want, because simply put you are a nothing, a nobody, a peon to The Rock. You may think because you and The Rock started in this business around the same time, that The Rock respects you. You may think that The Rock puts you in the same category as himself, that us veterans need to stick together. Well The Rock says the only that needs to stick together is The Rock's fist and your oversized jaw line, as The Rock goes in great succession.. one shot right after the other, knocking you into a time where you mattered in this business. Knocking you back into a time where The Rock was just starting to hit his prime, and you were just starting to realize just how good at making coffee's and latee's you were. Don't think The Rock's forgotten Edge. You used to make the best hazel nut Latee. The Rock cherishes those memories, and can't wait to beat you back into that pathetic errand boy, that you should have always been, jabroni!
The Rock stood up and was gaining some momentum and intensity.
The Rock: Speaking of Hazel Nuts, or anything that is edible. It brings The Rock, to Ryback. Yeah Ryback, the big guy. "Feed Me More" yeahhh, it's great, what an intimidating figure this guy truly is. What an intimidating figure he would actually be, if he literally could get his mouth to say ANYTHING else besides "I'm the Big Guy" and "Feed Me More." The Rock says, that he'd say Ryback was Hooked on Phonics, but if you ask The Rock it seems more like he's hooked on stupid. You see Ryback may be able to pump some iron, he may be able to eat 2 large pizzas by himself in one sitting, but there's one thing that Ryback can NOT do, and that's keep The Rock from whoppin' his candy ass all over The Royal Rumble, and throwing him and his 14 IQ over the top rope. The only thing The Rock is going to be feeding Ryback is the ass kicking of a lifetime, and let The Rock assure you, it WILL NOT TASTE GOOD! Which brings The Rock, to another over sized gargantuan without two brain cells to rub together in Brock Lesnar. You see Paul Heyman, is a wonderful cohort for Brock, because Paul says everything that Brock just isn't smart enough to say. He's comes out night after night, week after week and says.
The Rock mocked Paul Heyman in a whiny shrill voice.
The Rock: Ladies and Gentlemen my name is Paul Heyman.. I am a large man who enjoys fried chicken and sucking up the grease of burgers at Five Guys with a straw. I speak today for Brock Lesnar who is 280 pounds of muscle and 0 pounds of intelligence. That is a 280 pound difference, the muscle does make him successful in the ring but the fact that his.. assets.. matches the weight of his intelligence.. he is completely useless in all other.. aspects of life.. if you catch my drift.
The Rock shook his head,
The Rock: You see Brock, The Rock gets it, he understand why you're angry. Feee Fiii Fo Fumm.. Brock want to win and celebrate with rum, the only thing that's bothersome.. is that Brock is just to freaking dumb. You see Brock Lesnar, The Rock may be intimidated by you, if he didn't know in his heart of hearts that he could just flash a laser pointer outside the ring, and your big inflated candy ass would go chase after it like a confused cat. Paul Heyman can rattle off all the threats, all the motivational quotes, all the monologues that he wants, it's not going change the fact that his cave man client, isn't going to make any kind of an impact in the Royal Rumble match, as long as The Rock has anything to say about it. Which The Rock knows, comes as some bad news. Speaking of Bad News The Rock, may also have to go through Wade Barrett. You see The Rock knows that people consider Wade Barrett to be a bit of a tough guy, The Rock knows people consider Wade Barrett to be a "brawler" but The Rock also knows that it doesn't take an awful lot to make "London Bridges fall down" BAD NEWS for you Wade is that The Rock is not intimidated by you, he's not even going to bat an eye when your music hits. They say you're quite the fighter with just your bare knuckles, well why don't you come and try to bare knuckle brawl with The Rock?
The Rock stared dead into the camera.
The Rock: Finally, The Rock knows another man that will be stepping into the People's ring is Tyler Breeze. The Derek Zoolander of the EBWF. The man who thinks that he is.. really.. really.. ridiculously good looking. Which is going to make it.. really.. really.. ridiculously fun.. when the Rock knocks the hair gel, eye liner, high lights, cheek blush, and lip gloss right off of this bleeched blonde tinkerbell fairy.
The Rock continued with the intensity.
The Rock: You see the fact of the matter is, the EBWF can line em up, but The Rock will have ABSOLUTELY no problem knocking em down, on his way to becoming the number one contender ONCE AGAIN for the EBWF Championship.
The scene faded to black. We picked it up once more at a house show. A match had just concluded when all of a sudden some familiar words were heard "IF YA SMELLLL WHAT THE ROCK.. IS COOOKIN" followed by "Electrifying" by Jim Johnston was heard over the PA System. The Rock made his way down the ramp in black and white track pants and a white tank with blue letters that read "Just Bring It" The Rock got in the ring and made his way to each turnbuckle raising his arm to the crowd in Houston, Texas. He was given a mic by the time keeper and brought it to his lips. The sounds of "Rocky, Rocky, Rocky" caused him to pause at least momentarily before they finally died down and he was able to speak.
The Rock: FINALLY THE ROCK HAS COME BACK TO HOUSSSSSSTONNNNN!
The crowd went crazy, as they always did.
The Rock: You see The Rock is just hours away from, the next milestone in his career. Just hours away from yet ANOTHER crowning achievement to add the the list. You see The Rock has seemingly done it ALL in this business, but as is true with all the greats The Rock is never EVER content, just as is true with all the paid hookers that find their way into Justin Gabriel's room late at night.. The Rock is NEVER satisfied. You see The Rock wants.. NO.. The Rock NEEDS to continue to be successful night in and night out, year in and year out. So if someone like say.. Justin Gabriel wants to try and misty flip into The Rock's path back to the EBWF Championship, The Rock will just have to kick his candy ass until he wants to back on the trampoline and do back and front flips on his own while sucking his thumb and occasionally licking on a cherry tootsie pop!
The crowd cheered as The Rock began to pace around the ring.
The Rock: Speaking of weirdo's The Rock knows he's got a whole bunch of them on the horizon in this match, perhaps none bigger than Stardust. Yeah The Rock gets it Stardust, you're weird. You don't march to the beat of your own drummer, you sexually harass the drummer, until he files a lawsuit on you and your forced to pulsate your way into a courthouse. You see The Rock gets your schtick, and he's not buying it. You can be weird, you can be bizarre, you can copy your brothers early 90's gimmick until you get Gold in the face, but you aren't going to get anything along the lines of respect from The Rock for doing it. In fact. All you are going to get from The Rock is a hand right on your head.. don't get excited jabroni.. your actual head connected to your neck. You are going to get a hand on your head, for about 2 seconds, which should be just long enough for The Rock to take your head and toss you out of the Rock's ring. Then wipe the glitter off his hands, before he moves on to the next piece of trash he's going to see in this Royal Rumble match. Maybe someone like, Austin Aires. Yeahh the greatest man who ever lived. That's right the greatest man with a Napoleon Complex that ever lived. You see Austin, The Rock would take you serious in this match, if you didn't have to jump and swing up to hit The Rock in the shin. Austin Aires The Rock says, you would need to have a serious growth spurt if you were going to even be able to enter the ring without someone giving you a boost.. but The Rock.. being the generous guy that he is.. is going to do EXACTLY that. He IS going to give you a boost once you get into the ring.. that's right he's going to take the BABA right out of your mouth, steal your wittle wattle.. and give you a BOOST RIGHT BACK out of the ring.. so that you can get back to playing with your toys at day care midget!
The crowd cheered and started another "Rocky " chant. The Rock continued.
The Rock: You see The Rock is just baffled by the guys in this match that his so much confidence for no reason that makes any shred of sense to The Rock. Guys like Bo Dallas, Ted DiBiase, Chris Sabin. Guys who week in and week out, get their asses beat in front of all of you, but then come back the next week CERTAIN that each loss that occurs was a fluke. CERTAIN that each loss that occurred was LUCK for the victor, CERTAIN that they don't ABSOLUTELY SUCK. Well The Rock hates to be the bearer of bad news, but the losses that occurred WERE NOT A FLUKE, and it wasn't luck, because the fact is EACH and EVERY ONE of you DOES ABSOLUTELY SUCK. And if you even try to get in The Rock's way tonight, he's going to take Ted's head turn it sideways, and stick it straight up Sabin's candy ass.. and just as Bo Dallas starts to laugh, you can BOLIEVE the Rock won't stop there, instead he'll grab Bo's head and jam it right up there too, until Sabin will look like a party favor. The Rock will take that party favor all together, pick it up and toss it out of the ring, because there's no way any of these three roody poo's are winning The Rock's rumble.
The crowd cheered once more.
The Rock: Which finally, brings The Rock to the last group of guys that the experts would consider the real major threats. The real major players standing in The Rock's way of a rematch with Solomon Crowe. Guys like CM Punk. Who The Rock has already beaten right here in this very ring. For all the brash confidence that he has, for all the tats, and the Tim Tebow esque straight edge, alter boy who wants to be so much edgier than an alter boy, but still wants the "benefits" of being an alter boy...
The Rock paused and the crowd let out some surprised "ohh's" like they couldn't believe The Rock just went there.
The Rock: Attitude that CM Punk has, the one thing that has been missing for him lately is any form of success whatsoever, you see The Rock remembers CM Punk when you were the man around here. YEAH The Rock remembers when you were the standard that everyone else tried to live up to. The Rock also remembers a time where he used to eat dirt, and said that all ladies had cooties. Things change, and boy have they ever changed for you. You are a shell of your former self, sure you still come out here with your wrists tape and sit Indian Style and hold yourself to a standard that nobody else holds you to, but the difference is though that used to have an effect on the people you spoke to, now it means absolute nothing, zero, zippo, because your confident words used to be followed by kicks, knees, punches, G-T-Sing and now they are followed with sucking, more sucking, and B-L-O-W ing.
The crowd cheered once more as The Rock continued to pace around the ring.
The Rock: So if CM Punk isn't going to be the one to stop The Rock who is? Will it be Lance Storm and Trent.. Trent... Trent Ba... no Trent with no last name. Lance Storms little one named buddy. Lance Storm's Madonna. The fact of the matter is this, you could have a first name, a last name, 19 middle names, a birth name, a nick name, it really doesn't matter, because the only thing people will be calling you Trent, and you too Lance, is EXACTLY what you are, and that's overrated, over hyped, put em both together and they are a team of steaming stinking piles of monkey crap, that were just two of 29 guys, who failed on stopping The Rock.
The crowd cheered as The Rock was ready to bring it home.
The Rock: Which leads The Rock to the final two men who you all will see in the Royal Rumble match. The two men who have gotten to call themselves the CEO of this great company that you all enjoy each and every week, Wes Ikeda and Chris Jericho. You see The Rock, isn't going to sit here and tell you that he respects either one of them because The Rock is not a liar. Chris Jericho and The Rock have never seen eye to eye, nor have Wes Ikeda and The Rock. Chris Jericho can lionsault and "Come ON BABAY" all he wants but The Rock is going to do exactly to both HE and WES what everyone in America have wanted to do to their "boss" at one point in time, and that's walk right into their "office" that is this ring. Roll up their sleeves, and then proceed to the lay the smackdown on their rich, power hungry, candy asses! The point being that there's only one man that is going to walk out of this ring tonight the number one contender for the EBWF Championship. There will be only one man, who leaves tonight happy.. and that one man.. without a shadow of a doubt.. IS THE ROCK..
The crowd cheered as The Rock delivered his last line.
The Rock: IF YA SMELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL WHAT THE ROCK..... IS COOKIN'!
The Rock cocked an eyebrow as his music hit once more and the scene faded to black.
The scene opened up in what was very fancy looking home. The first view we got was that of the outside of what was seemingly a multi million dollar mansion. The camera panned inside, and there sat The People's Champ, The Rock. He wore a black sweater, his trademark sunglasses and black pants. Behind him were plaques and momento's of what had been a prestigious career to date. The Rock paused for a beat or two before he finally began.
The Rock: There are only a few things, a few things that people in this business TRULY look forward to. Maybe it's a big match at Wrestlemania, maybe it's a big interview, maybe it's their first chance at a title belt, or maybe.. like it is in this case.. it is a chance to compete in the Royal Rumble match.
The Rock paused for effect.
The Rock: You see there's nothing like the Royal Rumble match to get the blood pumping, the adrenaline rushing though your veins, the excitement building in your body, because you know just like EVERY other superstar that steps foot in that match that the winner of the Royal Rumble goes on to main event, the grand daddy of them all.... Wrestlemania.
The Rock cracked a half smile.
The Rock: And see that is EXACTLY what The Rock plans on.. NO.. that is exactly what The Rock WILL do, after he goes through 29 other men.. one.. by one... by damn one. You see, since The Rock returned to the EBWF he has made a quick impact, but is the Rock where he wants to be? You bet your bottom dollar that he is NOT.. because as The Rock sits here and speaks to the millions.. and millions of his fans, the man holding the World Title is named Solomon Crowe. Solomon Crowe is the EBWF Champion, and The Rock is sitting here talking about it, good god almighty what is the world coming to? What is the world coming to that the BEST wrestling company on god's green earth is sporting a chubby little goth kid as it's World Champion. Well make no mistake about it, though The Rock was NOT victorious in his first shot at the gold, after the Royal Rumble match is said and done, after the dust has settled, and the smoke has cleared and The Rock walks out of the Royal Rumble the number one contender for the EBWF Title, there is NO WAY.. AND THE ROCK MEANS.. NO WAY.. that Solomon Crowe is going to get by The Rock again.
The Rock shook his head.
The Rock: Ever since the day came where The Rock's shoulders were pinned to the mat one.. two.. three.. that very sight has haunted The Rock.. it's stayed in The Rock's mind. It has LITERALLY eaten away at the Great One. So with that said, the second The Rock steps in the Royal Rumble, the Brahama Bull is going to be seeing nothing but red, as The Rock is going to be full speed ahead, head down charging, head down destroying, anything that comes into his path. All for the one goal, the one mission, of walking out number one contender for the EBWF Championship.
The Rock paused again, and cocked his head down before he continued.
The Rock: Now just who is The Rock going to have to go through to make this sentiment a reality? Just who is The Rock going to have to dismantle, to get back in the ring with the Pillsbury Punk Rock Boy? Maybe The Rock's going to have to go through MVP. Yeah MVP is going to get in The Rock's way, MVP is going to be "BALLIN" out of control and take The Rock's chance at becoming the number one contender for the EBWF Title. MVP, you may think that you scare The Rock, you may think that your presence demands respect in this business, but unfortunately for you, The Rock wipes a Monkey's Ass with what you think! You see MVP, you may think you're the most valuable player. Or even less confident than that, you may claim that MVP stands for your name Montel Vontavius Porter.. but as far as The Rock is concerned MVP can only stand for one thing and one thing only, and that is EXACTLY what you truly are and that is the MOST VULNERABLE PUSSY.. The Rock has ever seen.
The Rock paused as this would have been a time that if he were in front of a capacity crowd, they would have lost their minds. He continued after this brief stoppage.
The Rock: Or maybe The Rock's going to have to go through Dolph Ziggler. The new age Bad Ass Billy Gunn. Wearing pink and light blue, and lime green like he was going to a rave party. The Rock has news for you Dolph Ziggler. You may think your pretty "hot stuff" you may think that each time you step into the Rock's ring that you're "showing off" but The Rock is a bit of a show off himself. You see, if you try to get in The Rock's way at the Royal Rumble, The Rock is going to show off his size 15 boot, he's going to show it off to the crowd, he's going to hold it up, off the ground so that everyone can get a good look at it, and then he is going to show it off to it's new home, to it's new destination, and that destination that The Rock will be showing it off to, is directly inside your Magic Mike wiggling candy ass.
The Rock remained stone faced as he went on to his next adversary.
The Rock: You see The Rock isn't going to be biased. He's going to be non discriminatory, he's going to be equal opportunity. Whether it's MVP, Dolph Ziggler, CJ Parker, Sami Zayn, or Syxx. The Rock isn't going to give one drop of reindeer piss who is in front of him, becaus he's going to be that focused on what is at stake. He is going to be that focused on the prize at hand. You see someone like Sami Zayn, many people would think The Rock would consider a threat. Many people would think that The Rock would take Sami Zayn serious as someone who could potential win the Rumble match and go on to headline wrestlemania. Well The Rock says you are Sami Inzane if you think that The Rock is going to let that happen. You see The Rock knows, that Sami Zayn has made a name for himself in his short time in professional wrestling, but you see The Rock also knows that he's the biggest name that there is, and if pure, unadulterated violence doesn't work, The Rock will simply have to go 40 year old virgin on Sami and wax every hair off his chest until he's yelling "OHHH KELLY CLARKSON" on his way over the top rope and OUT of The Rock's way!
The Rock smiled
The Rock: And when it comes to Syxx, The Rock doesn't know what else he can say. The Rock already made his point LOUD and CLEAR when Syxx stepped in the ring with The People's Champ. Syxx came out in front of all The Rock's fans and spewed monkey crap lie after monkey crap lie, about how he was going to dominate The Rock, about how he was going to get the best of The Rock, and what happened? Well The Rock well tell you exactly what happened The Rock smacked the taste of pot brownies, Jack Daniels, and Kevin Nashes stroodel out of his mouth, and the yellow off of his teeth and was victorious.. and that is EXACTLY what The Rock will do on Sunday at The Royal Rumble if Syxx has any ideas of Bronco Busting The Rock's chances at going to Wrestlemania.
The Rock paused before he continued once more.
The Rock: From one man who just plain is lewd and crude to another man that feels the need to try and convince us that he is, The Rock may also have to go through Edge. Which means The Rock may have to go through that horse teeth blonde haired bimbo, and no The Rock isn't talking about Kate Mackinnon on Saturday Night Live. You see Edge, you also seem to make it back to the world of wrestling right when people are just about ready to forget about you. The Rock comes back to wrestling, so Edge has to come back to wrestling. Like there's some unspoken competition between you and The Rock. Like The Rock is coming to your motley crue look alike contests trying to steal your thunder. You see Edge, the fact of the matter is this, no matter how much you can't stand it, The Rock is always going to be parked in your spotlight. The Rock is always going to garner the attention and adoration that you crave. So you can come back at the same time as The Rock that's fine. You can pull at your hair, drool on the ring, and spear dudes all you want, that's fine, The Rock can't tell you how to act in your own bedroom.
The Rock paused for a second and cracked a wry smile.
The Rock: But in all seriousness, Edge, you can quite frankly act how ever you want, because simply put you are a nothing, a nobody, a peon to The Rock. You may think because you and The Rock started in this business around the same time, that The Rock respects you. You may think that The Rock puts you in the same category as himself, that us veterans need to stick together. Well The Rock says the only that needs to stick together is The Rock's fist and your oversized jaw line, as The Rock goes in great succession.. one shot right after the other, knocking you into a time where you mattered in this business. Knocking you back into a time where The Rock was just starting to hit his prime, and you were just starting to realize just how good at making coffee's and latee's you were. Don't think The Rock's forgotten Edge. You used to make the best hazel nut Latee. The Rock cherishes those memories, and can't wait to beat you back into that pathetic errand boy, that you should have always been, jabroni!
The Rock stood up and was gaining some momentum and intensity.
The Rock: Speaking of Hazel Nuts, or anything that is edible. It brings The Rock, to Ryback. Yeah Ryback, the big guy. "Feed Me More" yeahhh, it's great, what an intimidating figure this guy truly is. What an intimidating figure he would actually be, if he literally could get his mouth to say ANYTHING else besides "I'm the Big Guy" and "Feed Me More." The Rock says, that he'd say Ryback was Hooked on Phonics, but if you ask The Rock it seems more like he's hooked on stupid. You see Ryback may be able to pump some iron, he may be able to eat 2 large pizzas by himself in one sitting, but there's one thing that Ryback can NOT do, and that's keep The Rock from whoppin' his candy ass all over The Royal Rumble, and throwing him and his 14 IQ over the top rope. The only thing The Rock is going to be feeding Ryback is the ass kicking of a lifetime, and let The Rock assure you, it WILL NOT TASTE GOOD! Which brings The Rock, to another over sized gargantuan without two brain cells to rub together in Brock Lesnar. You see Paul Heyman, is a wonderful cohort for Brock, because Paul says everything that Brock just isn't smart enough to say. He's comes out night after night, week after week and says.
The Rock mocked Paul Heyman in a whiny shrill voice.
The Rock: Ladies and Gentlemen my name is Paul Heyman.. I am a large man who enjoys fried chicken and sucking up the grease of burgers at Five Guys with a straw. I speak today for Brock Lesnar who is 280 pounds of muscle and 0 pounds of intelligence. That is a 280 pound difference, the muscle does make him successful in the ring but the fact that his.. assets.. matches the weight of his intelligence.. he is completely useless in all other.. aspects of life.. if you catch my drift.
The Rock shook his head,
The Rock: You see Brock, The Rock gets it, he understand why you're angry. Feee Fiii Fo Fumm.. Brock want to win and celebrate with rum, the only thing that's bothersome.. is that Brock is just to freaking dumb. You see Brock Lesnar, The Rock may be intimidated by you, if he didn't know in his heart of hearts that he could just flash a laser pointer outside the ring, and your big inflated candy ass would go chase after it like a confused cat. Paul Heyman can rattle off all the threats, all the motivational quotes, all the monologues that he wants, it's not going change the fact that his cave man client, isn't going to make any kind of an impact in the Royal Rumble match, as long as The Rock has anything to say about it. Which The Rock knows, comes as some bad news. Speaking of Bad News The Rock, may also have to go through Wade Barrett. You see The Rock knows that people consider Wade Barrett to be a bit of a tough guy, The Rock knows people consider Wade Barrett to be a "brawler" but The Rock also knows that it doesn't take an awful lot to make "London Bridges fall down" BAD NEWS for you Wade is that The Rock is not intimidated by you, he's not even going to bat an eye when your music hits. They say you're quite the fighter with just your bare knuckles, well why don't you come and try to bare knuckle brawl with The Rock?
The Rock stared dead into the camera.
The Rock: Finally, The Rock knows another man that will be stepping into the People's ring is Tyler Breeze. The Derek Zoolander of the EBWF. The man who thinks that he is.. really.. really.. ridiculously good looking. Which is going to make it.. really.. really.. ridiculously fun.. when the Rock knocks the hair gel, eye liner, high lights, cheek blush, and lip gloss right off of this bleeched blonde tinkerbell fairy.
The Rock continued with the intensity.
The Rock: You see the fact of the matter is, the EBWF can line em up, but The Rock will have ABSOLUTELY no problem knocking em down, on his way to becoming the number one contender ONCE AGAIN for the EBWF Championship.
The scene faded to black. We picked it up once more at a house show. A match had just concluded when all of a sudden some familiar words were heard "IF YA SMELLLL WHAT THE ROCK.. IS COOOKIN" followed by "Electrifying" by Jim Johnston was heard over the PA System. The Rock made his way down the ramp in black and white track pants and a white tank with blue letters that read "Just Bring It" The Rock got in the ring and made his way to each turnbuckle raising his arm to the crowd in Houston, Texas. He was given a mic by the time keeper and brought it to his lips. The sounds of "Rocky, Rocky, Rocky" caused him to pause at least momentarily before they finally died down and he was able to speak.
The Rock: FINALLY THE ROCK HAS COME BACK TO HOUSSSSSSTONNNNN!
The crowd went crazy, as they always did.
The Rock: You see The Rock is just hours away from, the next milestone in his career. Just hours away from yet ANOTHER crowning achievement to add the the list. You see The Rock has seemingly done it ALL in this business, but as is true with all the greats The Rock is never EVER content, just as is true with all the paid hookers that find their way into Justin Gabriel's room late at night.. The Rock is NEVER satisfied. You see The Rock wants.. NO.. The Rock NEEDS to continue to be successful night in and night out, year in and year out. So if someone like say.. Justin Gabriel wants to try and misty flip into The Rock's path back to the EBWF Championship, The Rock will just have to kick his candy ass until he wants to back on the trampoline and do back and front flips on his own while sucking his thumb and occasionally licking on a cherry tootsie pop!
The crowd cheered as The Rock began to pace around the ring.
The Rock: Speaking of weirdo's The Rock knows he's got a whole bunch of them on the horizon in this match, perhaps none bigger than Stardust. Yeah The Rock gets it Stardust, you're weird. You don't march to the beat of your own drummer, you sexually harass the drummer, until he files a lawsuit on you and your forced to pulsate your way into a courthouse. You see The Rock gets your schtick, and he's not buying it. You can be weird, you can be bizarre, you can copy your brothers early 90's gimmick until you get Gold in the face, but you aren't going to get anything along the lines of respect from The Rock for doing it. In fact. All you are going to get from The Rock is a hand right on your head.. don't get excited jabroni.. your actual head connected to your neck. You are going to get a hand on your head, for about 2 seconds, which should be just long enough for The Rock to take your head and toss you out of the Rock's ring. Then wipe the glitter off his hands, before he moves on to the next piece of trash he's going to see in this Royal Rumble match. Maybe someone like, Austin Aires. Yeahh the greatest man who ever lived. That's right the greatest man with a Napoleon Complex that ever lived. You see Austin, The Rock would take you serious in this match, if you didn't have to jump and swing up to hit The Rock in the shin. Austin Aires The Rock says, you would need to have a serious growth spurt if you were going to even be able to enter the ring without someone giving you a boost.. but The Rock.. being the generous guy that he is.. is going to do EXACTLY that. He IS going to give you a boost once you get into the ring.. that's right he's going to take the BABA right out of your mouth, steal your wittle wattle.. and give you a BOOST RIGHT BACK out of the ring.. so that you can get back to playing with your toys at day care midget!
The crowd cheered and started another "Rocky " chant. The Rock continued.
The Rock: You see The Rock is just baffled by the guys in this match that his so much confidence for no reason that makes any shred of sense to The Rock. Guys like Bo Dallas, Ted DiBiase, Chris Sabin. Guys who week in and week out, get their asses beat in front of all of you, but then come back the next week CERTAIN that each loss that occurs was a fluke. CERTAIN that each loss that occurred was LUCK for the victor, CERTAIN that they don't ABSOLUTELY SUCK. Well The Rock hates to be the bearer of bad news, but the losses that occurred WERE NOT A FLUKE, and it wasn't luck, because the fact is EACH and EVERY ONE of you DOES ABSOLUTELY SUCK. And if you even try to get in The Rock's way tonight, he's going to take Ted's head turn it sideways, and stick it straight up Sabin's candy ass.. and just as Bo Dallas starts to laugh, you can BOLIEVE the Rock won't stop there, instead he'll grab Bo's head and jam it right up there too, until Sabin will look like a party favor. The Rock will take that party favor all together, pick it up and toss it out of the ring, because there's no way any of these three roody poo's are winning The Rock's rumble.
The crowd cheered once more.
The Rock: Which finally, brings The Rock to the last group of guys that the experts would consider the real major threats. The real major players standing in The Rock's way of a rematch with Solomon Crowe. Guys like CM Punk. Who The Rock has already beaten right here in this very ring. For all the brash confidence that he has, for all the tats, and the Tim Tebow esque straight edge, alter boy who wants to be so much edgier than an alter boy, but still wants the "benefits" of being an alter boy...
The Rock paused and the crowd let out some surprised "ohh's" like they couldn't believe The Rock just went there.
The Rock: Attitude that CM Punk has, the one thing that has been missing for him lately is any form of success whatsoever, you see The Rock remembers CM Punk when you were the man around here. YEAH The Rock remembers when you were the standard that everyone else tried to live up to. The Rock also remembers a time where he used to eat dirt, and said that all ladies had cooties. Things change, and boy have they ever changed for you. You are a shell of your former self, sure you still come out here with your wrists tape and sit Indian Style and hold yourself to a standard that nobody else holds you to, but the difference is though that used to have an effect on the people you spoke to, now it means absolute nothing, zero, zippo, because your confident words used to be followed by kicks, knees, punches, G-T-Sing and now they are followed with sucking, more sucking, and B-L-O-W ing.
The crowd cheered once more as The Rock continued to pace around the ring.
The Rock: So if CM Punk isn't going to be the one to stop The Rock who is? Will it be Lance Storm and Trent.. Trent... Trent Ba... no Trent with no last name. Lance Storms little one named buddy. Lance Storm's Madonna. The fact of the matter is this, you could have a first name, a last name, 19 middle names, a birth name, a nick name, it really doesn't matter, because the only thing people will be calling you Trent, and you too Lance, is EXACTLY what you are, and that's overrated, over hyped, put em both together and they are a team of steaming stinking piles of monkey crap, that were just two of 29 guys, who failed on stopping The Rock.
The crowd cheered as The Rock was ready to bring it home.
The Rock: Which leads The Rock to the final two men who you all will see in the Royal Rumble match. The two men who have gotten to call themselves the CEO of this great company that you all enjoy each and every week, Wes Ikeda and Chris Jericho. You see The Rock, isn't going to sit here and tell you that he respects either one of them because The Rock is not a liar. Chris Jericho and The Rock have never seen eye to eye, nor have Wes Ikeda and The Rock. Chris Jericho can lionsault and "Come ON BABAY" all he wants but The Rock is going to do exactly to both HE and WES what everyone in America have wanted to do to their "boss" at one point in time, and that's walk right into their "office" that is this ring. Roll up their sleeves, and then proceed to the lay the smackdown on their rich, power hungry, candy asses! The point being that there's only one man that is going to walk out of this ring tonight the number one contender for the EBWF Championship. There will be only one man, who leaves tonight happy.. and that one man.. without a shadow of a doubt.. IS THE ROCK..
The crowd cheered as The Rock delivered his last line.
The Rock: IF YA SMELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL WHAT THE ROCK..... IS COOKIN'!
The Rock cocked an eyebrow as his music hit once more and the scene faded to black.