Masked girls will never hurt you
Posted: Sun Jun 24, 2012 8:46 am
We've got some celebrities in the house tonight! Give it up for EBWF Diva's Maryse and Daffney!!
*Maryse and Daffney stepped onto a Karaoke stage in a somewhat upscale establishment. Maryse was dressed in very fashionable and shiny clothing with enormous sunglasses. Dafffney was wearing a gothic lolita style wardrobe.*
Maryse: (really into it, dancing way too seductively, straddling the mic stand.) Hey, I just met you! And this is crazy! But here's my number! So call me maybe! It's hard to look right at you, baaaaaay-bay!
Daffney: (completely dead pan, lifeless, looking as though she wanted to stab everyone within a five mile radius.) Hey. I just met you. And this is crazy. But here's my number. Call me. Maybe. It's hard to look right. At you. Baby.
*The two diva's sat in a booth in the corner of the bar after performing the number. Matt Striker was present as well. Maryse flicked her platinum hair aside sat solemnly with her hands resting in her lap.*
Matt Striker: That was certainly..
Maryse: Orgasmic.
Matt Striker: Right. That's a word you could use, I guess. But I have to ask. Why do the interview here?
Maryse: I like to mingle amongst poor people at times. It helps me get a grasp on my opponents.
Matt Striker: But this is a pretty fancy place!
Maryse: For people like you, maybe.
*One of Maryse's many, shirtless and buff followers appeared and handed her an apple martini while she quickly downed. Another handed Daffney a piece of cheese cake which she began to nibble at with a fork.*
Matt Striker: How did he even get in here like that and how many of them do you have?
Maryse: Are you interested in becoming one, Matthew?
*Maryse lowered her sunglasses.*
Maryse: Vous n'ĂȘtes pas assez sexy. Now conduct your interview.
Matt Striker: Alright, well, everyone is interested in what happened during your match last week with Daffney. It was a very confusing and bizarre sight.
Daffney: I have a certain degree of fondness for sadomasochism. Nothing more.
*Daffney lightly grazed a napkin across her lips.*
Maryse: So I'm afraid there will be no lesbian fantasies for you and our ugly, lifeless fans.
Matt Striker: You two have a partnership?
Maryse: We felt as though it would be mutually beneficial for the two of us to align. We have more in common than one might think. We determined the winner by playing a game of rock-paper-scissors backstage.
Daffney: I always pick scissors.
Matt Striker: A lot in common? You two?
Maryse: We have both grown tired of this so called "Diva's division." Why must be regulated to our own little corner of this company? We feel as though we have just as much to offer as the men.
Daffney: Three fingers, an extra ear and an extra tongue.
Matt Striker: ..What?
Daffney: Those are a few of the things I have to offer. The lurching sack that makes gurgling sounds that I keep in the corner of my apartment.
Maryse: I've seen it. I think I knew him before. ..Boring in bed and not much on foreplay.
*The announcer was flabbergasted.*
Matt Striker: ..I..uh..well..right..so..uh..I imagine you would like to see the Queen of The Ring tournament to kickstart these goals?
Maryse: Correct. There is no reason why strictly men should only be seen as stars. We let old men like Kevin Nash give interviews on how to save the company and he doesn't mention any of us Diva's. Perhaps I could persuade him otherwise, no?
*Maryse began to lick the tips of her fingers before Daffney roughly nudged her with an elbow.*
Daffney: No. You don't know where he's been.
Maryse: Infected men do it better.
Daffney: Shameless. You are shameless.
Matt Striker: I still don't see how you two have much in common..
Maryse: We both crave..destruction. Anarchy. We don't want to be bound. We will do what it takes to be mentioned in the same breath as CM Punk, AJ Styles or Ted DiBiase.
Matt Striker: Such as defeating Jamilia Craft?
Maryse: Yes. The little girl with the mask. So young. So unsure. So..inexperienced. I can break her in. Daffney has already done so once before. Our plans don't involve children in Halloween costumes. What better way than to prove how serious we are than to demolish our lovely little Diva of the year, hm? And then the finals. And then the little girl holding the belt. Magnifique.
*Daffney leaned forward and allowed her hands to come to a rest on her cheeks. She smiled just slightly.*
Daffney: I don't think she's into having her bones snapped. What a shame. It's creates such a lovely sound. ..Snap, snap, snap...
Maryse: She will learn to love it. Everyone will.
Matt Striker: You know that this company has had very strong women representing the Diva's division. The fans love A.J. Lee. And Trish Stratus and Torrie Wilson are household names.
Maryse: But they are not and were not dangerous enough.
*Maryse slowly arose to her feet and leaned over her table. She pushed her chest out and gave her hair another flick while motioning to Daffney.*
Maryse: Who here would like to..sleep with Daffney and myself tonight? Anything. Goes.
*The response was favorable to say the least.*
Maryse: There can only be one of you. Prove to me how much you want it.
*A brawl ensued between many of the patrons. Bottles flew and glass shattered and bones were broken. Maryse was satisfied and leaned back in her chair.*
Maryse: Easy. As. That.
Matt Striker: You aren't really going to..?
Maryse: I don't sleep with men who go to karaoke bars, Matthew.
Daffney: But I will tie down whoever is left and put little needles in their eyelids. ..Deeper, deeper, deeper..
Maryse: La RĂ©volution!
*Maryse and Daffney stepped onto a Karaoke stage in a somewhat upscale establishment. Maryse was dressed in very fashionable and shiny clothing with enormous sunglasses. Dafffney was wearing a gothic lolita style wardrobe.*
Maryse: (really into it, dancing way too seductively, straddling the mic stand.) Hey, I just met you! And this is crazy! But here's my number! So call me maybe! It's hard to look right at you, baaaaaay-bay!
Daffney: (completely dead pan, lifeless, looking as though she wanted to stab everyone within a five mile radius.) Hey. I just met you. And this is crazy. But here's my number. Call me. Maybe. It's hard to look right. At you. Baby.
*The two diva's sat in a booth in the corner of the bar after performing the number. Matt Striker was present as well. Maryse flicked her platinum hair aside sat solemnly with her hands resting in her lap.*
Matt Striker: That was certainly..
Maryse: Orgasmic.
Matt Striker: Right. That's a word you could use, I guess. But I have to ask. Why do the interview here?
Maryse: I like to mingle amongst poor people at times. It helps me get a grasp on my opponents.
Matt Striker: But this is a pretty fancy place!
Maryse: For people like you, maybe.
*One of Maryse's many, shirtless and buff followers appeared and handed her an apple martini while she quickly downed. Another handed Daffney a piece of cheese cake which she began to nibble at with a fork.*
Matt Striker: How did he even get in here like that and how many of them do you have?
Maryse: Are you interested in becoming one, Matthew?
*Maryse lowered her sunglasses.*
Maryse: Vous n'ĂȘtes pas assez sexy. Now conduct your interview.
Matt Striker: Alright, well, everyone is interested in what happened during your match last week with Daffney. It was a very confusing and bizarre sight.
Daffney: I have a certain degree of fondness for sadomasochism. Nothing more.
*Daffney lightly grazed a napkin across her lips.*
Maryse: So I'm afraid there will be no lesbian fantasies for you and our ugly, lifeless fans.
Matt Striker: You two have a partnership?
Maryse: We felt as though it would be mutually beneficial for the two of us to align. We have more in common than one might think. We determined the winner by playing a game of rock-paper-scissors backstage.
Daffney: I always pick scissors.
Matt Striker: A lot in common? You two?
Maryse: We have both grown tired of this so called "Diva's division." Why must be regulated to our own little corner of this company? We feel as though we have just as much to offer as the men.
Daffney: Three fingers, an extra ear and an extra tongue.
Matt Striker: ..What?
Daffney: Those are a few of the things I have to offer. The lurching sack that makes gurgling sounds that I keep in the corner of my apartment.
Maryse: I've seen it. I think I knew him before. ..Boring in bed and not much on foreplay.
*The announcer was flabbergasted.*
Matt Striker: ..I..uh..well..right..so..uh..I imagine you would like to see the Queen of The Ring tournament to kickstart these goals?
Maryse: Correct. There is no reason why strictly men should only be seen as stars. We let old men like Kevin Nash give interviews on how to save the company and he doesn't mention any of us Diva's. Perhaps I could persuade him otherwise, no?
*Maryse began to lick the tips of her fingers before Daffney roughly nudged her with an elbow.*
Daffney: No. You don't know where he's been.
Maryse: Infected men do it better.
Daffney: Shameless. You are shameless.
Matt Striker: I still don't see how you two have much in common..
Maryse: We both crave..destruction. Anarchy. We don't want to be bound. We will do what it takes to be mentioned in the same breath as CM Punk, AJ Styles or Ted DiBiase.
Matt Striker: Such as defeating Jamilia Craft?
Maryse: Yes. The little girl with the mask. So young. So unsure. So..inexperienced. I can break her in. Daffney has already done so once before. Our plans don't involve children in Halloween costumes. What better way than to prove how serious we are than to demolish our lovely little Diva of the year, hm? And then the finals. And then the little girl holding the belt. Magnifique.
*Daffney leaned forward and allowed her hands to come to a rest on her cheeks. She smiled just slightly.*
Daffney: I don't think she's into having her bones snapped. What a shame. It's creates such a lovely sound. ..Snap, snap, snap...
Maryse: She will learn to love it. Everyone will.
Matt Striker: You know that this company has had very strong women representing the Diva's division. The fans love A.J. Lee. And Trish Stratus and Torrie Wilson are household names.
Maryse: But they are not and were not dangerous enough.
*Maryse slowly arose to her feet and leaned over her table. She pushed her chest out and gave her hair another flick while motioning to Daffney.*
Maryse: Who here would like to..sleep with Daffney and myself tonight? Anything. Goes.
*The response was favorable to say the least.*
Maryse: There can only be one of you. Prove to me how much you want it.
*A brawl ensued between many of the patrons. Bottles flew and glass shattered and bones were broken. Maryse was satisfied and leaned back in her chair.*
Maryse: Easy. As. That.
Matt Striker: You aren't really going to..?
Maryse: I don't sleep with men who go to karaoke bars, Matthew.
Daffney: But I will tie down whoever is left and put little needles in their eyelids. ..Deeper, deeper, deeper..
Maryse: La RĂ©volution!