Heart Attack Grill
Posted: Sun Apr 12, 2015 6:20 pm
OOC: Thanks to Juan for writing with me! Had a lot of fun with this one. Good luck Kyle!
The scene opened with Wade Barrett and Ryback walking down a street in Las Vegas. Both Barrett and Ryback had their title belts draped proudly over their shoulders. Ryback looked excited; Barrett looked anything but.
Wade Barrett: I can’t believe we’re doing this.
Ryback: I cannot either. You promised hot dogs after we beat those Ass Mansion guys, then you promised hot dogs after WrestleMania… You owe me! HA! HA! HA! HERE WE ARE!
Ryback spread his arms out as they stopped by a huge sign in red letters which read “HEART ATTACK GRILL - 350LBS EATS FREE. Ryback paced hurriedly inside the building, checking over his shoulder that Barrett was following him.
Ryback: Could you believe that? I’m only 296! If only I were… umm… 2 times 2 is four… How many pounds? Do you have a calculator?
Ryback was puzzled by the simple mathematical operation, which seemed as imposing and massive as the rest of the city of Vegas.
Wade Barrett: 54 pounds. I’m sure you’ll weigh more than 350 by the time we’re done here. Do we really have to do this? I have a match tomorrow night; you don’t. I don’t want to lose to Ted DiBiase because I’m still feeling bloated after a meal at the most unhealthy restaurant in the whole of America.
Ryback: First, they only allow you to weigh before you eat! Unhealthy? There are doctors and nurses inside! There’s an ambulance right next to the entrance! I’m sorry, maybe next time we can have fish and chips! HA! HA! HA!
Ryback patted his muscular abdomen in anticipation, the EBWF Tag title championship wrapped and strapped tightly around his waist.
Ryback: Besides, you said it… A whole hot dog car.
Barrett shook his head, and reluctantly entered the restaurant. As they waited to be seated, Barrett noticed Ryback was trying to hide the Tag Title belt under his shirt.
Wade Barrett: What are you doing?
Ryback: I’m hoping to weigh 350 with the belt on, do you think the belt weights enough? Also, this works quite nicely as a weightlifting belt!
That’s right, the next EBWF Tag Team Champions would have to deal with Ryback’s sweat all over the leather strap of the belt.
Wade Barrett: It won’t weigh enough, Ryback… the belts weigh 15-20 pounds max. Even if you were wearing both belts, you still wouldn’t weigh 350.
Ryback pouted his lips in an almost childish manner for a brief moment, before he looked at Wade.
Ryback: Wait, didn’t we get a hefty paycheck and a raise for becoming champions? HA! HA! HA! That means the dinner is on you!
Ryback patted him on the back and continued laughing, they were approached by a restaurant staff member, a scantily clad “nurse” by the name of Jessica. Her eyes widened at the sight of Da Big Guy. She reached out for her walkie talkie and pressed the talk button.
Nurse Jessica: Kitchen, this is your host. We have a Code Blue, I repeat. CODE BLUE! CODE BLUE! This is not a drill, I repeat, this is NOT a drill. I need the stoves burning hot, the ovens and fries working at 200%.
She turned to the current Tag Champs with a smile on her face.
Nurse Jessica: Haven’t seen you in a while sir, would you like the usual table?
Ryback nodded, the girl promptly drove them to a table in the center of the restaurant. Murmurs were heard as they walked by, waiters and waitresses pointed at Ryback and continued to discuss silently. The hostess handed Barrett and Ryback the menu and went back to her duties.
Ryback: Heh. I see they took precautions. Last time I came, there wasn’t enough food… Could you believe that?
Barrett shook his head in disgust.
Wade Barrett: You must be the only person in the world this place has never had enough food for… how can you eat here, let alone clean them out? I feel sick just looking at the menu. Have you seen the “vegan” option? I hope Daniel Bryan has never been anywhere near this place.
Barrett continued to look through the menu, trying to find the least unhealthily option. For the first time in his life, he longed to see a salad section on the menu… but the only green option in sight was a frozen lime cocktail. They didn’t even serve Diet Coke; the word “diet” didn’t seem to exist at the Heart Attack Grill.
Ryback: What are you doing? You still don’t know what I brought you here for? Besides celebrating our big win!
A bus girl clad in a nurse outfit approached their table and fastened patient robes around their bodies, the bibs for the massive eathatlon they were about to have. This nurse was called Stephanie, and after she’d fastened their robes, she got ready to take an order from them.
Nurse Stephanie: Hi! Can I get you some drinks to start with?
Wade Barrett: Just a water for me. Thanks.
Nurse Stephanie wrote it down and looked over at Ryback. He raised a finger to the nurse.
Ryback: One second. So, who are you facing this week?
Wade Barrett: I told you earlier. Ted DiBiase.
Ryback: How much do you think he weighs?
Wade Barrett: Less than the Octuple Burger, probably! I don’t know… about 210, 220? Why?
Nurse Stephanie was getting impatient waiting for Ryback, but the Big Guy continued to ignore her as he talked to Barrett.
Ryback: Perfect. Toots, bring me two Octuple Bypass burgers, and a side of Flatliner chili fries, a Corona and…
Barrett interrupted Ryback, cutting him off.
Wade Barrett: Wait. I haven’t decided what I want yet, but I definitely don’t want an Octuple Bypass Burger.
Ryback: What are you talking about? That is for me! I’d also like a ½ Pound Coronary dog please… Now, when I eat before a match, I try to eat something that allows me to keep a mindset on my opponent. Try to find something in the menu that makes you think of DiBiase.
Barrett looked confused. Only Ryback could justify a big meal as a psychological insight into his opponents.
Wade Barrett: Do you have any third generation wrestlers on the menu, nurse?
Ryback: Make it three Triple Bypass Burgers and another Large Corona. Thanks, toots!
Nurse Stephanie nodded and took their order to the kitchen. Barrett looked at Ryback, incredulous.
Wade Barrett: Three Triple Bypass Burgers? I probably won’t even be able to get through one! You just wasted $24 on food I won’t even touch!
Ryback: Alright then, if you want it that way, I will eat your part… Now, you want to discuss what we’re going to do with this DiBiase kid?
Wade Barrett: Well it’s a strap match… I’m guessing that’s a first for WWE. There’s no “we” though, Ryback - it’s a singles match. We’re the Tag Champs and I know you’ve got my back, but I don’t want you getting involved. I can handle DiBiase on my own.
Ryback: I know there’s no “we” in Ryback. But is there “we” in… Wade? Anyway, you say you can handle 210 pounds of dull meat, and you’re saying you won’t be able to handle a couple of pounds and… I almost forgot!
Ryback looked around for Stephanie.
Ryback: MAKE THE TRIPLE BURGERS WITH BACON!!!!!!!
Ryback turned back to Barrett.
Ryback: Yeah, couple of pounds of meat and bacon.
Just the smell of the food was making Barrett feel nauseous.
Wade Barrett: There’s a difference between beating your opponent and eating their weight in food, Ryback. I know everything revolves around food for you, but I don’t see how eating food so greasy and fatty it will make me feel sick is going to help me take care of DiBiase.
Ryback: I don’t see the difference. Isn’t DiBiase greasy, fatty and makes you sick?
Wade Barrett: I think you’re confusing Ted DiBiase with Paul Heyman. Be honest, Ryback. Did you really bring me here to try and help me prepare for my match? Or did you just want to eat at your favourite restaurant in your hometown?
Ryback: Uh… Would you have come if this weren’t about a match?
Barrett glared at Ryback.
Wade Barrett: I knew it. Ah well, we’re here now, so I might as well eat something. I just hope there aren’t any negative consequences if I can’t finish my meal…
Barrett then noticed a sign behind Ryback’s head that said “If you do not finish your meal, your nurse will administer spankings!” Barrett got to his feet quickly, took $50 out of his wallet and placed it on the table.
Wade Barrett: That should cover my half. You can have my burgers. I’m going to go and do some actual preparation for my match. I’ll see you back at the hotel.
As Barrett stood up from the table, two waitresses had arrived with platters full of food, placing them on the table.
Ryback: Oh man! Now this is what good food looks like!
Ryback began feasting on the truckload of food he ordered as Wade walked out of the peculiar restaurant.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The following day at Warfare, Ryback was nowhere to be seen. Presumably, he was still at Heart Attack Grill. As Barrett waited backstage in his locker room before the show started, there was a knock at the door. A few moments later, Matt Striker entered, accompanied by a camera man.
Wade Barrett: Does Renee Young have the week off?
Striker tried hard not to feel disheartened. Since Renee Young had signed for EBWF, it seemed as though no one on the roster wanted to be interviewed by anyone else. Especially the male superstars on the roster. Barrett noticed the look on Striker's face.
Wade Barrett: I was kidding... sorry. What can I do for you, Matt?
Matt Striker: I've been asked to interview you for the Warfare pre-show.
Wade Barrett: Great! Did you want to do it here, or have we got an interview area set up?
Matt Striker: There's an interview area set up round the corner, if you'd like to follow me?
Wade Barrett: Sure.
Striker and the cameraman exited the locker room and walked around the corner. Barrett followed, joining them in-front of a Warfare backdrop. The camera started rolling, and Striker began to speak.
Matt Striker: Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for joining me on the Warfare pre-show, exclusively available on EBWF.net! With me at this time is Wade Barrett, who in our opening match on the Warfare Wild Card will take on Ted DiBiase in a strap match! Wade, we'll discuss your match with DiBiase in a moment, but first I'd like to congratulate you on winning the Tag Titles at WrestleMania.
Wade Barrett: Thank you, Matt. I said that Ryback and I wouldn't make the mistake of underestimating Tyler Breeze and CJ Parker twice, and Ryback and I were true to our word. We deserved our victory, and our reign as the EBWF Tag Team Champions has been a long time coming.
Matt Striker: Parker and Breeze were randomly paired together when you first faced them for the Tag Titles, and after they lost to you and Ryback at WrestleMania, Breeze turned on Parker. Do you think the unstable nature of their alliance is what enabled you and Ryback to get the victory?
Wade Barrett: It was a factor, Matt, I can't deny that. But it wasn't the only factor - to suggest it was would be an insult to Ryback and me. We won that match because we're a better team, a stronger team. And now that we're the Tag Team Champions, we're planning to restore some prestige to these titles. We're not going to rest on our laurels and let the title belts collect dust, we'll defend them against all challengers. And with that in mind, I'd like to send a message to Tyler Breeze.
Barrett stopped for a moment, turning to look directly into the camera before continuing to speak.
Wade Barrett: Tyler, I saw on Twitter that you're looking for a new tag partner. When you've found one, you come to Ryback and I, and you let us know. Because like I said, we'll take on all challengers. And as one-half of the former champs, I think you're entitled to a rematch. Besides, that way when we beat you again, you can't blame it on Parker's ineptitude.
Barrett then turned back to face Striker.
Matt Striker: Wade, I'd like to ask you a few questions about your match tonight. This is the first ever Warfare Wild Card - all the matches, both the stipulations and the wrestlers, were drawn completely at random. Your name was one of the first names to be drawn, and you'll be competing against Ted DiBiase in a strap match. How do you feel about competing a match type that some would describe as "old school"?
Wade Barrett: Well Matt, I think this is the first ever strap match in EBWF history... it's certainly the first strap match I've ever competed in. And like you said, my name was one of the first names drawn out on the Warfare Wild Card. DiBiase and I are making history tonight, and we get to do it in the opening match on the first ever Warfare Wild Card. For that reason, I'm very excited about this match; and the fact that it's a strap match doesn't bother me. It means there'll be no escape for Ted DiBiase, and I look forward to pulling him in close and taking him out with the Bad News Bullhammer.
Matt Striker: In strap matches, there seems to be a tendency for superstars to use the strap as a weapon. Is that a tactic you'll be employing?
Barrett smirked.
Wade Barrett: What do you think, Matt?
Matt Striker: Okay, next question. Ted DiBiase is a former World Champion, and he's one of the most experienced superstars on the EBWF roster. What are your thoughts on DiBiase as an opponent?
Wade Barrett: First of all, I wish people would stop describing DiBiase as a former World Champion, because as true as it is, that's ancient history. DiBiase has held the EBWF World Title once; it was over five years ago now, and he only held the title for 18 days. It was probably the most forgettable World Title reign in the history of EBWF... it's certainly one of the shortest reigns.
Matt Striker: Are you saying you don't respect DiBiase's previous accomplishments?
Wade Barrett: No, that's not what I'm saying. I just think people focus too much on DiBiase's World Title reign, given how long ago it was and how quickly it ended. There are other accomplishments in DiBiase's career which are more recent, and more relevant. He's a three time PTG Champion and a three time Tag Champion; his second reign as PTG Champion was one of the longest title reigns ever in the EBWF. If you're going to big DiBiase up as an opponent Matt, I'd suggest focusing on that rather than his blink and you miss it World Title run.
Matt Striker: Okay, so you do respect DiBiase as an opponent?
Barrett paused to think for a moment before responding.
Wade Barrett: I can't say I don't respect him. After all, he's a third generation superstar - he's the son of the Million Dollar Man, who I was a huge fan of growing up. And like I said before, he's accomplished a lot in his EBWF career. But at the same time, DiBiase isn't the sort of opponent you look at and think, this is going to be a tough match. Don't get me wrong Matt, he's a talented guy. But his career has become stagnant. He lost the PTG Title to CM Punk last July, and he hasn't really done a lot since then. He's always been around, but his career doesn't seem to be going anywhere. He's the middle of the pack - he's now falling down the card, but he isn't moving towards the top either. That's another reason I wish you wouldn't focus on his World Title reign so much, because the way DiBiase's career is going right now, that 18-day reign will be the only World Title reign of his career. If he wants to make his way to the top again, he needs to do something to stop himself from fading out of the picture. There are a lot of talented superstars in the EBWF right now, and as long as DiBiase doesn't stand out from the crowd, every time more talent comes in, he'll fall further behind in the pecking order.
Matt Striker: Do you think you stand out from the crowd, Wade?
Wade Barrett: Of course I do... look at me. I'm one half of the Tag Team Champions. Ryback and I are about to become the most dominant Tag Team Champions the EBWF has ever seen. I'm the Bearer of Bad News, the Bare Knuckle Brawler, the Preston Powerhouse... there is nothing about Wade Barrett that doesn't stand out. And Ted DiBiase is going to find that out the hard way tonight.
Matt Striker: Wade, thank you for your time, and good luck in your match tonight.
Barrett headed back to his locker room as the scene faded.
The scene opened with Wade Barrett and Ryback walking down a street in Las Vegas. Both Barrett and Ryback had their title belts draped proudly over their shoulders. Ryback looked excited; Barrett looked anything but.
Wade Barrett: I can’t believe we’re doing this.
Ryback: I cannot either. You promised hot dogs after we beat those Ass Mansion guys, then you promised hot dogs after WrestleMania… You owe me! HA! HA! HA! HERE WE ARE!
Ryback spread his arms out as they stopped by a huge sign in red letters which read “HEART ATTACK GRILL - 350LBS EATS FREE. Ryback paced hurriedly inside the building, checking over his shoulder that Barrett was following him.
Ryback: Could you believe that? I’m only 296! If only I were… umm… 2 times 2 is four… How many pounds? Do you have a calculator?
Ryback was puzzled by the simple mathematical operation, which seemed as imposing and massive as the rest of the city of Vegas.
Wade Barrett: 54 pounds. I’m sure you’ll weigh more than 350 by the time we’re done here. Do we really have to do this? I have a match tomorrow night; you don’t. I don’t want to lose to Ted DiBiase because I’m still feeling bloated after a meal at the most unhealthy restaurant in the whole of America.
Ryback: First, they only allow you to weigh before you eat! Unhealthy? There are doctors and nurses inside! There’s an ambulance right next to the entrance! I’m sorry, maybe next time we can have fish and chips! HA! HA! HA!
Ryback patted his muscular abdomen in anticipation, the EBWF Tag title championship wrapped and strapped tightly around his waist.
Ryback: Besides, you said it… A whole hot dog car.
Barrett shook his head, and reluctantly entered the restaurant. As they waited to be seated, Barrett noticed Ryback was trying to hide the Tag Title belt under his shirt.
Wade Barrett: What are you doing?
Ryback: I’m hoping to weigh 350 with the belt on, do you think the belt weights enough? Also, this works quite nicely as a weightlifting belt!
That’s right, the next EBWF Tag Team Champions would have to deal with Ryback’s sweat all over the leather strap of the belt.
Wade Barrett: It won’t weigh enough, Ryback… the belts weigh 15-20 pounds max. Even if you were wearing both belts, you still wouldn’t weigh 350.
Ryback pouted his lips in an almost childish manner for a brief moment, before he looked at Wade.
Ryback: Wait, didn’t we get a hefty paycheck and a raise for becoming champions? HA! HA! HA! That means the dinner is on you!
Ryback patted him on the back and continued laughing, they were approached by a restaurant staff member, a scantily clad “nurse” by the name of Jessica. Her eyes widened at the sight of Da Big Guy. She reached out for her walkie talkie and pressed the talk button.
Nurse Jessica: Kitchen, this is your host. We have a Code Blue, I repeat. CODE BLUE! CODE BLUE! This is not a drill, I repeat, this is NOT a drill. I need the stoves burning hot, the ovens and fries working at 200%.
She turned to the current Tag Champs with a smile on her face.
Nurse Jessica: Haven’t seen you in a while sir, would you like the usual table?
Ryback nodded, the girl promptly drove them to a table in the center of the restaurant. Murmurs were heard as they walked by, waiters and waitresses pointed at Ryback and continued to discuss silently. The hostess handed Barrett and Ryback the menu and went back to her duties.
Ryback: Heh. I see they took precautions. Last time I came, there wasn’t enough food… Could you believe that?
Barrett shook his head in disgust.
Wade Barrett: You must be the only person in the world this place has never had enough food for… how can you eat here, let alone clean them out? I feel sick just looking at the menu. Have you seen the “vegan” option? I hope Daniel Bryan has never been anywhere near this place.
Barrett continued to look through the menu, trying to find the least unhealthily option. For the first time in his life, he longed to see a salad section on the menu… but the only green option in sight was a frozen lime cocktail. They didn’t even serve Diet Coke; the word “diet” didn’t seem to exist at the Heart Attack Grill.
Ryback: What are you doing? You still don’t know what I brought you here for? Besides celebrating our big win!
A bus girl clad in a nurse outfit approached their table and fastened patient robes around their bodies, the bibs for the massive eathatlon they were about to have. This nurse was called Stephanie, and after she’d fastened their robes, she got ready to take an order from them.
Nurse Stephanie: Hi! Can I get you some drinks to start with?
Wade Barrett: Just a water for me. Thanks.
Nurse Stephanie wrote it down and looked over at Ryback. He raised a finger to the nurse.
Ryback: One second. So, who are you facing this week?
Wade Barrett: I told you earlier. Ted DiBiase.
Ryback: How much do you think he weighs?
Wade Barrett: Less than the Octuple Burger, probably! I don’t know… about 210, 220? Why?
Nurse Stephanie was getting impatient waiting for Ryback, but the Big Guy continued to ignore her as he talked to Barrett.
Ryback: Perfect. Toots, bring me two Octuple Bypass burgers, and a side of Flatliner chili fries, a Corona and…
Barrett interrupted Ryback, cutting him off.
Wade Barrett: Wait. I haven’t decided what I want yet, but I definitely don’t want an Octuple Bypass Burger.
Ryback: What are you talking about? That is for me! I’d also like a ½ Pound Coronary dog please… Now, when I eat before a match, I try to eat something that allows me to keep a mindset on my opponent. Try to find something in the menu that makes you think of DiBiase.
Barrett looked confused. Only Ryback could justify a big meal as a psychological insight into his opponents.
Wade Barrett: Do you have any third generation wrestlers on the menu, nurse?
Ryback: Make it three Triple Bypass Burgers and another Large Corona. Thanks, toots!
Nurse Stephanie nodded and took their order to the kitchen. Barrett looked at Ryback, incredulous.
Wade Barrett: Three Triple Bypass Burgers? I probably won’t even be able to get through one! You just wasted $24 on food I won’t even touch!
Ryback: Alright then, if you want it that way, I will eat your part… Now, you want to discuss what we’re going to do with this DiBiase kid?
Wade Barrett: Well it’s a strap match… I’m guessing that’s a first for WWE. There’s no “we” though, Ryback - it’s a singles match. We’re the Tag Champs and I know you’ve got my back, but I don’t want you getting involved. I can handle DiBiase on my own.
Ryback: I know there’s no “we” in Ryback. But is there “we” in… Wade? Anyway, you say you can handle 210 pounds of dull meat, and you’re saying you won’t be able to handle a couple of pounds and… I almost forgot!
Ryback looked around for Stephanie.
Ryback: MAKE THE TRIPLE BURGERS WITH BACON!!!!!!!
Ryback turned back to Barrett.
Ryback: Yeah, couple of pounds of meat and bacon.
Just the smell of the food was making Barrett feel nauseous.
Wade Barrett: There’s a difference between beating your opponent and eating their weight in food, Ryback. I know everything revolves around food for you, but I don’t see how eating food so greasy and fatty it will make me feel sick is going to help me take care of DiBiase.
Ryback: I don’t see the difference. Isn’t DiBiase greasy, fatty and makes you sick?
Wade Barrett: I think you’re confusing Ted DiBiase with Paul Heyman. Be honest, Ryback. Did you really bring me here to try and help me prepare for my match? Or did you just want to eat at your favourite restaurant in your hometown?
Ryback: Uh… Would you have come if this weren’t about a match?
Barrett glared at Ryback.
Wade Barrett: I knew it. Ah well, we’re here now, so I might as well eat something. I just hope there aren’t any negative consequences if I can’t finish my meal…
Barrett then noticed a sign behind Ryback’s head that said “If you do not finish your meal, your nurse will administer spankings!” Barrett got to his feet quickly, took $50 out of his wallet and placed it on the table.
Wade Barrett: That should cover my half. You can have my burgers. I’m going to go and do some actual preparation for my match. I’ll see you back at the hotel.
As Barrett stood up from the table, two waitresses had arrived with platters full of food, placing them on the table.
Ryback: Oh man! Now this is what good food looks like!
Ryback began feasting on the truckload of food he ordered as Wade walked out of the peculiar restaurant.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The following day at Warfare, Ryback was nowhere to be seen. Presumably, he was still at Heart Attack Grill. As Barrett waited backstage in his locker room before the show started, there was a knock at the door. A few moments later, Matt Striker entered, accompanied by a camera man.
Wade Barrett: Does Renee Young have the week off?
Striker tried hard not to feel disheartened. Since Renee Young had signed for EBWF, it seemed as though no one on the roster wanted to be interviewed by anyone else. Especially the male superstars on the roster. Barrett noticed the look on Striker's face.
Wade Barrett: I was kidding... sorry. What can I do for you, Matt?
Matt Striker: I've been asked to interview you for the Warfare pre-show.
Wade Barrett: Great! Did you want to do it here, or have we got an interview area set up?
Matt Striker: There's an interview area set up round the corner, if you'd like to follow me?
Wade Barrett: Sure.
Striker and the cameraman exited the locker room and walked around the corner. Barrett followed, joining them in-front of a Warfare backdrop. The camera started rolling, and Striker began to speak.
Matt Striker: Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for joining me on the Warfare pre-show, exclusively available on EBWF.net! With me at this time is Wade Barrett, who in our opening match on the Warfare Wild Card will take on Ted DiBiase in a strap match! Wade, we'll discuss your match with DiBiase in a moment, but first I'd like to congratulate you on winning the Tag Titles at WrestleMania.
Wade Barrett: Thank you, Matt. I said that Ryback and I wouldn't make the mistake of underestimating Tyler Breeze and CJ Parker twice, and Ryback and I were true to our word. We deserved our victory, and our reign as the EBWF Tag Team Champions has been a long time coming.
Matt Striker: Parker and Breeze were randomly paired together when you first faced them for the Tag Titles, and after they lost to you and Ryback at WrestleMania, Breeze turned on Parker. Do you think the unstable nature of their alliance is what enabled you and Ryback to get the victory?
Wade Barrett: It was a factor, Matt, I can't deny that. But it wasn't the only factor - to suggest it was would be an insult to Ryback and me. We won that match because we're a better team, a stronger team. And now that we're the Tag Team Champions, we're planning to restore some prestige to these titles. We're not going to rest on our laurels and let the title belts collect dust, we'll defend them against all challengers. And with that in mind, I'd like to send a message to Tyler Breeze.
Barrett stopped for a moment, turning to look directly into the camera before continuing to speak.
Wade Barrett: Tyler, I saw on Twitter that you're looking for a new tag partner. When you've found one, you come to Ryback and I, and you let us know. Because like I said, we'll take on all challengers. And as one-half of the former champs, I think you're entitled to a rematch. Besides, that way when we beat you again, you can't blame it on Parker's ineptitude.
Barrett then turned back to face Striker.
Matt Striker: Wade, I'd like to ask you a few questions about your match tonight. This is the first ever Warfare Wild Card - all the matches, both the stipulations and the wrestlers, were drawn completely at random. Your name was one of the first names to be drawn, and you'll be competing against Ted DiBiase in a strap match. How do you feel about competing a match type that some would describe as "old school"?
Wade Barrett: Well Matt, I think this is the first ever strap match in EBWF history... it's certainly the first strap match I've ever competed in. And like you said, my name was one of the first names drawn out on the Warfare Wild Card. DiBiase and I are making history tonight, and we get to do it in the opening match on the first ever Warfare Wild Card. For that reason, I'm very excited about this match; and the fact that it's a strap match doesn't bother me. It means there'll be no escape for Ted DiBiase, and I look forward to pulling him in close and taking him out with the Bad News Bullhammer.
Matt Striker: In strap matches, there seems to be a tendency for superstars to use the strap as a weapon. Is that a tactic you'll be employing?
Barrett smirked.
Wade Barrett: What do you think, Matt?
Matt Striker: Okay, next question. Ted DiBiase is a former World Champion, and he's one of the most experienced superstars on the EBWF roster. What are your thoughts on DiBiase as an opponent?
Wade Barrett: First of all, I wish people would stop describing DiBiase as a former World Champion, because as true as it is, that's ancient history. DiBiase has held the EBWF World Title once; it was over five years ago now, and he only held the title for 18 days. It was probably the most forgettable World Title reign in the history of EBWF... it's certainly one of the shortest reigns.
Matt Striker: Are you saying you don't respect DiBiase's previous accomplishments?
Wade Barrett: No, that's not what I'm saying. I just think people focus too much on DiBiase's World Title reign, given how long ago it was and how quickly it ended. There are other accomplishments in DiBiase's career which are more recent, and more relevant. He's a three time PTG Champion and a three time Tag Champion; his second reign as PTG Champion was one of the longest title reigns ever in the EBWF. If you're going to big DiBiase up as an opponent Matt, I'd suggest focusing on that rather than his blink and you miss it World Title run.
Matt Striker: Okay, so you do respect DiBiase as an opponent?
Barrett paused to think for a moment before responding.
Wade Barrett: I can't say I don't respect him. After all, he's a third generation superstar - he's the son of the Million Dollar Man, who I was a huge fan of growing up. And like I said before, he's accomplished a lot in his EBWF career. But at the same time, DiBiase isn't the sort of opponent you look at and think, this is going to be a tough match. Don't get me wrong Matt, he's a talented guy. But his career has become stagnant. He lost the PTG Title to CM Punk last July, and he hasn't really done a lot since then. He's always been around, but his career doesn't seem to be going anywhere. He's the middle of the pack - he's now falling down the card, but he isn't moving towards the top either. That's another reason I wish you wouldn't focus on his World Title reign so much, because the way DiBiase's career is going right now, that 18-day reign will be the only World Title reign of his career. If he wants to make his way to the top again, he needs to do something to stop himself from fading out of the picture. There are a lot of talented superstars in the EBWF right now, and as long as DiBiase doesn't stand out from the crowd, every time more talent comes in, he'll fall further behind in the pecking order.
Matt Striker: Do you think you stand out from the crowd, Wade?
Wade Barrett: Of course I do... look at me. I'm one half of the Tag Team Champions. Ryback and I are about to become the most dominant Tag Team Champions the EBWF has ever seen. I'm the Bearer of Bad News, the Bare Knuckle Brawler, the Preston Powerhouse... there is nothing about Wade Barrett that doesn't stand out. And Ted DiBiase is going to find that out the hard way tonight.
Matt Striker: Wade, thank you for your time, and good luck in your match tonight.
Barrett headed back to his locker room as the scene faded.