Back to BOSSton

[Kamden]

OOC: Nothing much with this one as I wanted unfortunately. Thanks for the fun, Ben! Good luck everyone.
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Dark, choppy waters slapped up against the off-white exterior of a large vehicle. It smelled extra salty, and everything was wobbling back and forth. You’d think for someone like Sasha Banks, it wouldn’t be an ideal place to be. But it didn’t matter because the BOSS was home once again for the 2nd time in two months. For the moment the view was of the Boston skyline which unsteadily bobbed along the horizon, on the opposite side of Millers River.

Ugh. I’m getting seasick. Can we pull over or something?

A voice all too familiar to the EBWF universe spoke up as the whirring of a boat motor died down. Now we were inside the vehicle, which happened to be a fancy boat. Not as bougie as the hotel the Mean Girls stayed in back in Cali last month for Wrestlemania. The water wasn’t even blue, but Sasha made sure her boos got the hook up while the EBWF was in her hometown. BOSSton. She had a reputation to maintain, and traveling in a cab just wouldn’t cut it. The original BOSS turned around and placed her hands on her hips, the women’s title draped over her shoulder and her shutter shades on her eyes, as usual. She was trying to comfort Eva Marie.

Sasha Banks: You just don’t have your water legs yet. That’s all. You’ll be fine. Just don’t puke cuz that ain’t cute… The BAE of the year doesn’t puke. I mean, she can’t puke!

Summer Rae: She’s kinda right. No vomiting... Especially on the boat.

The blonde diva got up from her cushioned seat next to Eva and stood next to Sasha, presently looking more concerned with her own shiny championship on her shoulder than with her partner.

Sasha Banks: Actually, it’s a yash-t.

It became silent again as Red and Gold both gave Sasha a stare.

Summer Rae: A what?

Sasha Banks: A yash-t. Y-A-C-H... Nevermind, it's too long to spell out. You probably won’t understand all the bougie talk anywho. There's so many big words! I don't even know if you can say them Summer, they're just that complexated. I had to pick some up of the “languo” last time we were in Cali, and cuz I had to talk to some fancy people to get this boat...

I mean, yash-t.

Summer Rae: Well I think this fancy pants boat is about to make Eva sick.

It’s a good thing it had stopped moving long ago. The captain came out from the cabin and nodded to the 3 divas. Sasha hurried and grabbed a megaphone off the pool table and then ran back to Eva.

Sasha Banks: Ok boo, you just chill down here and Summer will make sure you don’t throw down!

Summer went to object and even had a finger up to stop Sasha, but it was too late. She had already went up the stairs to the outside. On the pier the yacht had docked a crowd was waiting, and when the BOSS arrived they made some noise. As she walked to the railing of the boat she clicked the button on the speaker and talked into it.

Sasha Banks: YES BOSSTON, I HAVE RETURNED AND I AM STILL THE HBIC. ‘CUZ I’M A BOSS.

Several people plugged their ears. Sasha hadn’t quite mastered the machinery yet, as she was yelling into the megaphone, which amplified her voice tenfold.

Sasha Banks: My bad, didn’t mean to yell. Anyhow, that’s what a BOSS does.

Sasha stopped and corrected herself.

Sasha Banks: I mean, that’s not what they do. They don’t yell. They stay in control. Mhmm. But see, it’s kinda funny. A lot of fools have been axin’ me some questions. Some extra dumb questions. I know my BOSSton peeps ain’t dumb. But let me go ahead and still break it down. I don’t know if you all can hear me ‘cuz I’m above you. Like, on cloud 9. Not figuratively or something.

The ship captain had come up and was listening, and had to take off his hat to scratch his head at that one. Even Summer could be seen peering through the window up at Sasha as best she could with a very confused expression.

Sasha Banks: On the Twitter, so many people have been wonderin’ what I would do if I didn’t beat Brie Bella at Wrestlermania. And you know what I gotta say? Somethin’ that the great Kimye West once asked also. “Everybody wants to know what I’d do if I didn’t win…” Tuh, I guess we’ll never know!

There were cheers all around as Sasha held up the women’s title as she spoke.

Sasha Banks: It is so good to be home, finally. Because unlike some people, I can be respectedable! I know BOSSton knows I’m the real deal. I am not just some trashy, hoodrat chick everyone says I am. I am great at what I do, obliviously! And now, today-- tonight, I will prove this to my opponent Pop a Molly. How can someone take an old lady seriously in this business. I thought we were suppose to be out with the old and in with the new? I guess not… And on top of that, she wears a cape and pretends to be a superhero too! Like, she musta took a bad bump on her noogie to get to that point. Just look at her, then look at me… I am a fashionista from head to toe; shutter shades, nice hair, the bling, and the women’s title too. And Polly is just.. She has weird hair, wears a retard, and pretends she can fly. Look boo boo, it takes a special kind of power to think you are even on my level! And it ain’t super! It’s more like… Stuperd. If anything, you’re super WACKED. Maybe you went and beat me once, but that was a flake win. I mean science says lightning can strike twice in the same place… But that can’t and won’t happen today. ‘Cuz you ain’t beatin’ me again, and you’re not beatin’ me to take this title away!

Sasha huffed and placed the title back over her shoulder. She flipped her hair out of her face with her free hand.

Sasha Banks: I hate to speak this right now, but Brie gave me my best match since I’ve been here in EBWF. I mean, people are sayin’ it’s like a diva’s match of the year! So Molly Molly, how do you think you can even step in my square? Like, everyone has been sayin’ Brie is this and that and the best, but she clearly ain’t cuz she woulda beat me. Tuh. Last week even, you had your little smurf friend Alexa Bliss with you, by your side, yet you still couldn’t win! Cuz you SUCK!

To be fair, you cheated that poor girl out her win.

Sasha snapped her head and turned to face the captain, who had spoken the truth. This angered Sasha! She yelled into the megaphone.

Sasha Banks: EXCUSE YOU, DID I AXE YOU A QUESTION?! THIS IS ABOUT ME. THANK YOU’S. NOW SKEE-PADDLE, BYEEEE!

When she finished she waved him off and tuned back to face the crowd. Dismissed.

Sasha Banks: Um, anyway, it don’t matter, Mighty duck lost and that’s that. I am a female wrestler of the year. I don’t even think people know what that means. But that’s cool, it’s all gucci, because tonight I show that old lady what egg-zactly that is, and what egg-zactly s CHAMP is. I will show her what it means to be a BOSS, and what it means to be the best. Logica tells us the lady I wrestle tonight can’t win a match when she has a “friend” with her, so how does she expect to beat me when it’s just her by herself? That’s right. She CAN’T! Plus, BOSSton has my back right? I’ve got more peeps in this place than she’ll ever have. Even though I’d never wanna be seen walkin’ with ya’ll during the day as weird as you dress…

The BOSS ruined it. She was doing so well. The crowd starting booing and someone even through a hot dog at her! Luckily it missed. Sasha could be heard telling the man to “SWERVE”, even without the help of the megaphone. She brushed some hair that had become astray during her frenzy out of her face and went back to business like a true HBIC, this time with the megaphone.

Sasha Banks: This is MY town! I run this place, and this Molly Jolly is about to get shown the ropes. Listen, wrestlin’ as a female? It’s a doggy-dog world. Back in the day you were a thing, sure. You were like, a badass! But now you’re probably sea-mile and don’t think straight. You could even have old-timers and that ain’t even safe. One more bump on your granny head and you’ll probably be done for good.

As the crowd began to disperse while some continued to yell, the HBIC sighed and put a finger up.

Sasha Banks: I’m not sayin’ I’m tryna end Molly Mighty cuz that would jus’ be so misfortunate. I think she’s gonna hurt herself more than she’ll hurt me TBH… She’ll hurt herself when she tries to pick me up cuz it’ll breakin’ her back. She’ll hurt herself tryna do a dropkick ‘cuz her hip is gonna pop. I think the worstly of this all is that no matter what happens tonight in our match, she is gonna hurt herself… Because she actually thinks that she is a super hero and is gonna stop my title from the rain! Trust me boo boo, before that even happens I’ma have to hurt you just to prove a point. Since you’re kind of a sicko-path though I bet money you’ll just be doin’ most the work for me anyway. I’m just bein’ real here, since we are in the real world.

Sasha shrugged and patted the title belt on her shoulder.

Sasha Banks: Maybe I don’t wear an ugly cape and try to say I have special powers. But don’t take that as a weakness or as a chick in my armor Molly! I don’t need one when I have the gold right here! I’ve got the TALENT ‘cuz I’ma BOSS! Who needs superpowers when you’re naturally the best?! Tuh, not me. Super Molly, you can wish anything you want. You can have chest ray vision, or you can elevate, shoot tasers out your hands or even have super-people strength, but that won’t stop me! Because as a BOSS I stay on top and lead others. I’m practically invisible now. The Mean Girls are unstoppable! You’re just lost boo boo, just like you're gonna be tonight after I make you tap. Since you'll be Bankrupt! So maybe it’s time to send you packin’, back to the nursin’ home where you belong. If you will even be able to pay for it. I don’t need you stickin’ your big ole droopy old lady nose in my business. So take your little puddin’ cup, shove it in your face and be-EAT IT! Better grab a spoon cuz you’re about to be fed a whole can of whoopin. BET.

And with that, Sasha did the signature snap of the Mean Girls and flashed her BOSS ringlet before shutting off the megaphone and going back down into the yash-t.

[Ben M]

I really enjoyed this Kamden! I look forward to continuing our feud :)