TORTURE INCORPORATED DEBUT
Posted: Sun Jul 01, 2012 6:08 pm
EBWF Cameras turn on and we are zoomed in on a pair of black shoes standing backstage. Slowly the camera begins to rise and we see what appears to be a man in a suit. Then the camera continues to go up and we see that the mystery man is none other than Paul Heyman.
PAUL HEYMAN: While most of you already know who I am allow me to refresh your memory. My name is Paul Heyman and I am the founder of Extreme Championship Wrestling as well as the former manager of several of the biggest names in the history of this illustrious business. In my nearly THREE DECADES of working in this business in ECW, WCW, and WWE I am now here in the EBWF!
Heyman smiles sadistically into the camera.
PAUL HEYMAN: But don't get too excited because I am not here alone and I am not here to please ANY OF YOU! No no no! Paul Heyman isn't here for the fans.... Paul Heyman isn't here for the EBWF! PAUL HEYMAN is HERE for his PAUL HEYMAN and PAUL HEYMAN'S CLIENTELE!
Heymans smile turns into a look of disdain
PAUL HEYMAN: What has happened to this business? What went wrong? I;ll tell you what went wrong... Attitude! That's right....attitude.... There was a time before 7/11 promotional cups, a time before wrestlers were vying for movie deals.... It was a good time when every wrestler had the same two goals ...."Become a champion" and "demolish your opponent"....
The business has gone from GREAT GIANTS like Andre & Bam Bam Bigelow and King Kong Bundy to JOKE GIANTS Like "The Funkasaurus" Brodus Clay. The business has gone from the "MASTERMIND" that is Vincent Kennedy McMahon.... To the "HALF-A-MIND" Nicole Ikeda.... The business has gone from great champions like Shawn Michaels, Bret "Hitman" Hart, & Stone Cold Steve Austin.... To a world champion who is nothing more than a glorified stuntman like A.J Styles... Hell that stuttering doofus Bubba Ray Dudley is even relevant here.... He was a hasbeen in ECW is 1996 and he has stayed a hasbeen ever since.
Heyman looks down at his feet and sighs before looking back up at the camera
PAUL HEYMAN: This business is my life...... Everyday for the last 25 years of my life has been dedicated to this business and when I took a look at this company I was....ashamed... Shame on YOU EBWF for allowing your "talents" and yes I am being generous when I refer to them as "talents" to take a S*** all over the business so many of us worked hard to "make". Shame on YOU EBWF fans for continuing to support the deprecation of MY business....
Heyman tosses his hat to the floor on anger
PAUL HEYMAN: What happens from here on out isn't on my head..... no no no.... It is on the heads of all the "wannabes" & all the "hasbeens" who combined make up the monstrosity that is the EBWF roster.... IT is on the HEADS of every SUIT working in EBWF offices who continue to POLLUTE the integrity of the business that I dedicated my life to..... AND IT IS ON THE HEADS OF EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU WORTHLESS SHEEP THAT WATCH THIS CRAP!
Heyman's red face turns to an evil grin
PAUL HEYMAN:Since no one else will stop it... I guess I have to take matters into my own hands.... I am going to permanently "fix" ha ha.... All that's wrong with the EBWF.... I am going to redeem the integrity of the business I helped mold....
The camera zooms out to reveal Big Daddy V & Vader standing on both sides of Heyman.
PAUL HEYMAN: The time for jokes.....Is over... Ha ha.
Big Daddy V's theme song plays as Heyman laughs while still surrounded by his two giants.