Page 1 of 1
Here Come A...
Posted: Thu Jun 18, 2015 10:57 pm
by Tony S
Well, this was a tough one. I wrote in all the extra time I had. I didn't think that I would be able to get it done, but here it is. I went all out with this one, you kinda have to if you want to stand a chance against someone the calaber of Holly. It's a two parter, I ran out of space in the first post, so I had to make a replay. I hope that you all enjoy, and good luck Holly. I know yours is going to be a good one.
Bully Beatdown
Re: Here Come A...
Posted: Thu Jun 18, 2015 11:04 pm
by Ashlee
Is this two posts one after the other? I'm not understanding it.
Also that font is still hell on the eyes lol
Re: Here Come A...
Posted: Thu Jun 18, 2015 11:12 pm
by Tony S
No, it's one roleplay. It's just with those boards, it has a limit of 60,000 characters, and with all the coding and everything, I wrote out the last scene and was over that amount. So I just had to take the last scene and re-code it into another post. It's all one fluid roleplay though.
And I'll work on the font. I knew the color kinda blended, but I've used it before with the previous Bully roleplays, so I thought that it was good for everyone. I'll figure something better out next time.
Re: Here Come A...
Posted: Thu Jun 18, 2015 11:20 pm
by Ashlee
Re: Here Come A...
Posted: Fri Jun 19, 2015 12:49 pm
by Ashlee
I think there's a really great dynamic between Brooke and Bully and it's cool to see you write a couple on your own.
"No? Not Boston? Well it doesn't matter where he's from. He doesn't stay there anyways. Dude used to have a place down in Florida next to mine when I worked TNA.
I don't expect anyone to be able to keep up with this, so it's not a big deal, but there's no way this is true in EBWF lore. lol
You had a lot of great imagery and lines in this RP. Two of my favorites were the bit about "they are the guys you dare to be" and calling Cena "The Everest". I thought that was a pretty epic compliment.
I'm dying about the comment that "they wanted my momma to throw me away", because in the Cena RP Holly wrote that Bully Ray's mom didn't care about him because if she had she'd have put him out of his misery because his face looked like "a baboon's ass". HAHA
Know it was just an innocent mistake, you obviously called Nicole Wes' sister elsewhere in the RP, but in your promo at the end you call her his daughter. Don't confuse the new kids! lol
Don't get me wrong, Wes Ikeda has won so many Hottie of the Year Awards that even I, if I swung that way, might have to test my luck.
PREACH.
Good work, Tony. I'm always skeptical about bringing in older characters and Bully Ray has never been one of my favorites, so I'm really impressed that you've been able to make him enjoyable and readable for me.
Re: Here Come A...
Posted: Fri Jun 19, 2015 7:27 pm
by Jayme
I really enjoyed this Bully character you've got going. I can definitely hear him talking when I read what you've typed out. Also a solid rp for what little time you had to write. Yes minor errors throughout but with limited time, it happens.
I did notice you calling Nicole Ikeda Wes' daughter. Did you mean Tony Ikeda? Didn't he start EBWF? I might be wrong on that.
Anyways, it's hard to keep track of what happened in EBWF versus what happened out of EBWF in it's 14+ history. I'm not speaking for Tony, but I think when he mentioned Cena being down in Florida, he was referring to the time Holly wasn't in EBWF when we joined (she later came back).
I think you did an awesome job as him being a new character and still finding your groove for him. I enjoy the way you write Brooke with him as well. So far you've already managed to portray them together better than they did in TNA haha. WWE Bubba Ray was always pretty boring, and in TNA as Bully he definitely became more interesting than he was before... but I think EBWF Bully is going to top all of it xD
and I may be slightly... SLIGHTLY biased. No shame.
Re: Here Come A...
Posted: Fri Jun 19, 2015 10:31 pm
by Ashlee
Jayme wrote:I did notice you calling Nicole Ikeda Wes' daughter. Did you mean Tony Ikeda? Didn't he start EBWF? I might be wrong on that.
Tony Ikeda is Wes' brother. Which still makes Nicole Ikeda, Tony Ikeda's sister. lol
Just pointing out that little things like this start to matter toward the end of a tournament when everyone RPs really well and you have to start to look for reasons to hand someone a loss. I never want to have to do that over minor mistakes throughout
Edit for clarity: I don't mean silly things like where John Cena lived. I don't expect people to be able to know that. I mean things like calling her "sister" in one part and "daughter" in the other, or typos/syntax errors.