Ambush

[Skyler]

There weren't a lot of announcers that were going out of there way to try and get an interview with Stardust and Luke Harper. They were possibly the most bizarre pairing on the current EBWF roster and their unconventional behavior made all of that commentary staff approach them with extra caution. A giant, zombie like backwoods truck driver and a space man in a skin tight bodysuit were odd bed fellows but the duo were successful. They had a chance to become Tag Team Champions which was a milestone in their partnership. But anyone who held a microphone for a living was weary of speaking to either one of them. Case in point Matt Striker. He had just finished up some pre-tapes and other such features to be used for a later date and could be found heading to his car in the parking lot. It had grown dark outside and the moon was high as he searched his pockets for his keys. That sensation when you felt as though someone was watching you? Coach was feeling it now. He looked over his shoulder to confirm his suspicion. A large shadowy figure stood from across the parking lot. It watched him completely unmoving. Until the shape slowly started to walk forward. Coach picked up his pace and walked faster. He looked over his shoulder and the stalker appeared to have somehow gotten closer. He walked at an increased speed. And once again when he looked over his shoulder, the shadow was closer than before. He reached his car and went to unlock the door when there was suddenly a loud thud on the hood. A pair of jack 'o lantern colored boots were the culprit and he scanned his eyes upwards to find the lanky, figure of Stardust peering down at him while standing on his automobile. The darkness obscured his painted face but his scarlet colored eyes cut through the night. Coach backpedaled but when he did he realized that Luke Harper was standing directly behind him.

Stardust: Having a terrible night, Coach?

Stardust sprung down from the hood and landed in a crouched position. He slowly rose up to his full height and leaned in closely.

Stardust: Well, I'm afraid I've got some..baaaaad news.

Luke Harper: Tick-tock. Tick-tock.

Stardust: Oh, do you hear that, Coach?

Stardust whipped his head about and cupped one of his ears in an adrenalized manner before his exuberance ceased and he spoke in a lower tone.

Stardust: That's the doomsday clock. Just, tick, tick, ticking away..

Luke Harper: Tick. Tock.

This was not a duo that Coach wanted to meet in a dark alley. Or a dark parking lot for that matter. He wasn't sure how he was supposed to conduct himself. Was he supposed to conduct an interview in such a strange predicament?

Stardust: We are about to become your new Tag Team Champions. I. Get. My. Cosmic. Key. Back. Do you understand what that means?! I will have eyes that see all the way into infinity! My interstellar prize gets to go back around my waist! And we get to wipe Ryback and Bad News off the face of the planet..

Luke Harper: They don't have a prayer. Total oblivion. See, they don't think like we do. They don't have the same mindset. We can survive under any situation. We are incapable of bowing under the pressure because we've already been to the other side and came back. They can't hurt us.

Coach looked up at Harper and those creepy bug eyes of his and he wasn't entirely sure where he should try to look. He was literally stuck between a rock and hard place.

Stardust: This is not one of those "Oh, we're so different! Everyone rejected us!" scenario's. We already know we're different! But we're different and better. Better than you! Better than fans! And better than those subhuman wastes of oxygen that are holding the gold! '..Feed..me..more..feed..me..more..'

Stardust copied Ryback's famous chant and mimicked the mannerisms

Luke Harper: We'll feed him more. We'll feed him so much that he'll vomit. And then we'll feed him that.

Stardust: Oooh, doesn't that sound completely gruesome?! Such a way with words. ..Wait! I've got a newsflash for Barrett! From all the way across the cosmos! Do you hear it, Coach? Do you? OF COURSE YOU CANT! You don't have the right frequency! But I do! An it's telling me, no, it's SCREAMING AT ME, to stomp all over that crooked nose of his!

He was grinning so much that it could practically be heard. On the other hand, Harper was still completely without emotion. Stardust gave the unwillingly interviewer, who hadn't got a word in, a firm pat on the shoulder.

Stardust: Thank you, so, so much for your time. Have a pleasant evening, Johnny.

Coach thought he would get away unscathed but he should have known better. As soon as the last syllable slipped from Stardust's painted lips, Harper lifted his fists to the air and slammed them into the windshield of his rental car. It caused a large, considerably noticeable series of cracks on the surface and Coach jumped back from shock, shielding his face with his arms. Harper lurched off with Stardust following behind him, laughing his head off the entire time.