I'm a BOSS, Not a Bully
Posted: Mon Aug 03, 2015 8:22 pm
Monday Night Warfare had already commenced, and as usual, the BOSS was making rounds backstage. The cameras caught up to her and captured her in the middle of a phone conversation. The women’s title was secured around her waist while she walked and talked.
Sasha Banks: Summer you’re soooo right. How is she older than me but signifercantly smaller?!
At this moment, Matt Striker strolled into the frame with his microphone in hand, apparently there for an interview. Matt waited patiently next to Sasha as she continued, only stopping to mean mug him while she listened.
Sasha Banks: Like, did she not eat her veggies or was she too busy tryna get the help to make her eminems and skittles all separated? With her newly bougie self... Tuh. OH MY G, Eva! I just realized somethin’.
Sasha flung a hand into Matt’s torso at her epiphany. He grunted.
Sasha Banks: Now I know why she’s actin’ like this.
Matt Striker: Well ladies and gentleman…
He straightened himself up as he continued speaking, looking into the camera this time.
Matt Striker: As you can currently see I am with EBWF Women’s Champion, Sasha Banks, who we can probably assume is talking about her opponent tonight--
Sasha Banks: ‘Cuz she’s still the same size as a 4th grader. So she still be actin' like one. This is so sad, baes.
Matt Striker: Alexa Bliss. Sasha--
Banks smacked her lips and sighed into her iPhone 6 plus.
Sasha Banks: Hold up Summer, excuse myself…. Umm, I am a BOSS to you, Mats. THANK YOU’S.
She brought the phone back up to her ear.
Sasha Banks: Sorry boo’s, where are ya’ll at anyway?
Sasha turned around and the cameras revealed that Summer Rae and Eva Marie were sitting just at the end of the corridor in a couple of folding chairs. They waved at the crew with their free hands.
Sasha Banks: OMG! You girls came to watch me live. I’m so lucky. Well I guess I can talk to you after then. BYYEEEEEEEEE!
Following the obnoxious farewell Sasha ended the call and turned her attention to Matt.
Matt Striker: As I was trying to say before… What do you make of Alexa Bliss? She’s definitely had a change in personality.
Sasha Banks: You mean actin’ like a little brat!? That ain’t cute boo boo. That’s childish. And the BOSS doesn’t work with children. Like, they have these crazy things where the fight the air and scream til their face is red. HELLO, wrinkles?! That explains how she’s basically the same age as me but is as wrinkled as a pug. Tuh.
Matt Striker: Well, everyone has had their fair share of bad days, Sasha--
Sasha Banks: But do we punch our imaginated friends or throw our candy on the floors?!
Matt Striker: So you’re saying you’ve never thrown a fit over something before?
Sasha Banks: SWERVE. Umm, no. Tuh. What do I look like?
Sasha rolled her eyes.
Sasha Banks: Lookie here boo boo, while that little MUPPET is busy gettin’ her drawls in a bunch over some reesers piecers, she needs to be gettin’ mad over the ass whoopin’ I’m about to hand her. I’ll do what her momma should’ve done. Tuh. You can bet money that’ll be somethin’ to cry over. I still ain’t forgiven her for that time she tried to sabertoge my career with her stupid glitter! I’m still afraid of going out there in the same ring with her.
Matt’s eyebrows rose slightly at this remark. He dared to inquire further.
Matt Striker: Afraid of being in the same ring as Alexa Bliss?
Sasha Banks: Umm, yeah isn’t that what I JUST said, Stripes? Pay attention. And pay attention to this too. I’m not afraid of Alexa Bliss. I’m just afraid of being in the same area as her. It’s bad for my rep.
Matt Striker: That’s quite literally the same thing, Sasha.
Sasha Banks: NO! Listen up boo boo. Someone at home is gonna be flippin’ through their TV and see me sticking it to that MIDGET. That’s gonna look like I’m beating up a little kid. Like I’m a… Like I’m a bully or something!
Sasha clutched a hand to her chest and shook her head worriedly.
Sasha Banks: I’m not a bully though! Tuh. Bullies pick on people that’s smaller than them to prove they’re the BOSS. But that ain’t me boo boo. A BOSS takes out the BIG people first! That’s why I would wanna have a match with someone else like Velvet Sky. Cuz she’s fat. Like a gorillape.
Matt Striker: Okay, that was slightly offensive… What does Velvet Sky have to do with this anyway? In fact, I’d say that’s a perfect example of bullying from you right there.
Sasha Banks: You’s missin’ the point, boo boo. If I have to go against Alexa Bliss it’s gonna be like those bullies in movies beating up little kid that’s two grades younger. Tuh. I’m not a bully Mats.
Matt Striker: It’s Matt, by the way. But you’re part of a group of girls called the MEAN Girls, and you’ve essentially bullied every woman on this roster at some point in your reign of terror. You just called Velvet Sky fat. And that’s very typical of the wolfpack you’ve formed with Eva Marie, Summer Rae, and now Stacy Keibler.
Sasha Banks: Well you know what, Todd, I guess baby Bliss better get her nappy cuz she’s about to pee herself when she sees that I’m just gonna have to go out and do my job. I mean, as a champ that’s what I’m expected ta do. Lemme just show these fools what I’m all about I guess. Can’t nobody do it better but a BOSS.
Sasha started to walk off but stopped in her tracks and returned to Matt. She cocked her head to the side.
Sasha Banks: You just tried reversal psychology on me. Tuh. But that doesn’t work on me boo boo, nope.
She smacked her lips again and even pointed a finger at Matt, getting in his face. He leaned back slightly.
Sasha Banks: I’m not the bully here boo boo.
She poked his shoulder to emphasize the boo boo like a BOSS.
Sasha Banks: If anything me snatching Alexa Bliss bald tonight is just me gettin’ my revenge. Maybe Alexa Bliss is the bully here! Did you ever think about that, Todd?! NO! Of course you ain’t. Tuh.
She backed up out of Matt’s face before flipping her hair in it and walking away. Matt looked slightly flustered.
Matt Striker: It’s still Matt……..
The scene faded out to the next segment of Warfare.
Sasha Banks: Summer you’re soooo right. How is she older than me but signifercantly smaller?!
At this moment, Matt Striker strolled into the frame with his microphone in hand, apparently there for an interview. Matt waited patiently next to Sasha as she continued, only stopping to mean mug him while she listened.
Sasha Banks: Like, did she not eat her veggies or was she too busy tryna get the help to make her eminems and skittles all separated? With her newly bougie self... Tuh. OH MY G, Eva! I just realized somethin’.
Sasha flung a hand into Matt’s torso at her epiphany. He grunted.
Sasha Banks: Now I know why she’s actin’ like this.
Matt Striker: Well ladies and gentleman…
He straightened himself up as he continued speaking, looking into the camera this time.
Matt Striker: As you can currently see I am with EBWF Women’s Champion, Sasha Banks, who we can probably assume is talking about her opponent tonight--
Sasha Banks: ‘Cuz she’s still the same size as a 4th grader. So she still be actin' like one. This is so sad, baes.
Matt Striker: Alexa Bliss. Sasha--
Banks smacked her lips and sighed into her iPhone 6 plus.
Sasha Banks: Hold up Summer, excuse myself…. Umm, I am a BOSS to you, Mats. THANK YOU’S.
She brought the phone back up to her ear.
Sasha Banks: Sorry boo’s, where are ya’ll at anyway?
Sasha turned around and the cameras revealed that Summer Rae and Eva Marie were sitting just at the end of the corridor in a couple of folding chairs. They waved at the crew with their free hands.
Sasha Banks: OMG! You girls came to watch me live. I’m so lucky. Well I guess I can talk to you after then. BYYEEEEEEEEE!
Following the obnoxious farewell Sasha ended the call and turned her attention to Matt.
Matt Striker: As I was trying to say before… What do you make of Alexa Bliss? She’s definitely had a change in personality.
Sasha Banks: You mean actin’ like a little brat!? That ain’t cute boo boo. That’s childish. And the BOSS doesn’t work with children. Like, they have these crazy things where the fight the air and scream til their face is red. HELLO, wrinkles?! That explains how she’s basically the same age as me but is as wrinkled as a pug. Tuh.
Matt Striker: Well, everyone has had their fair share of bad days, Sasha--
Sasha Banks: But do we punch our imaginated friends or throw our candy on the floors?!
Matt Striker: So you’re saying you’ve never thrown a fit over something before?
Sasha Banks: SWERVE. Umm, no. Tuh. What do I look like?
Sasha rolled her eyes.
Sasha Banks: Lookie here boo boo, while that little MUPPET is busy gettin’ her drawls in a bunch over some reesers piecers, she needs to be gettin’ mad over the ass whoopin’ I’m about to hand her. I’ll do what her momma should’ve done. Tuh. You can bet money that’ll be somethin’ to cry over. I still ain’t forgiven her for that time she tried to sabertoge my career with her stupid glitter! I’m still afraid of going out there in the same ring with her.
Matt’s eyebrows rose slightly at this remark. He dared to inquire further.
Matt Striker: Afraid of being in the same ring as Alexa Bliss?
Sasha Banks: Umm, yeah isn’t that what I JUST said, Stripes? Pay attention. And pay attention to this too. I’m not afraid of Alexa Bliss. I’m just afraid of being in the same area as her. It’s bad for my rep.
Matt Striker: That’s quite literally the same thing, Sasha.
Sasha Banks: NO! Listen up boo boo. Someone at home is gonna be flippin’ through their TV and see me sticking it to that MIDGET. That’s gonna look like I’m beating up a little kid. Like I’m a… Like I’m a bully or something!
Sasha clutched a hand to her chest and shook her head worriedly.
Sasha Banks: I’m not a bully though! Tuh. Bullies pick on people that’s smaller than them to prove they’re the BOSS. But that ain’t me boo boo. A BOSS takes out the BIG people first! That’s why I would wanna have a match with someone else like Velvet Sky. Cuz she’s fat. Like a gorillape.
Matt Striker: Okay, that was slightly offensive… What does Velvet Sky have to do with this anyway? In fact, I’d say that’s a perfect example of bullying from you right there.
Sasha Banks: You’s missin’ the point, boo boo. If I have to go against Alexa Bliss it’s gonna be like those bullies in movies beating up little kid that’s two grades younger. Tuh. I’m not a bully Mats.
Matt Striker: It’s Matt, by the way. But you’re part of a group of girls called the MEAN Girls, and you’ve essentially bullied every woman on this roster at some point in your reign of terror. You just called Velvet Sky fat. And that’s very typical of the wolfpack you’ve formed with Eva Marie, Summer Rae, and now Stacy Keibler.
Sasha Banks: Well you know what, Todd, I guess baby Bliss better get her nappy cuz she’s about to pee herself when she sees that I’m just gonna have to go out and do my job. I mean, as a champ that’s what I’m expected ta do. Lemme just show these fools what I’m all about I guess. Can’t nobody do it better but a BOSS.
Sasha started to walk off but stopped in her tracks and returned to Matt. She cocked her head to the side.
Sasha Banks: You just tried reversal psychology on me. Tuh. But that doesn’t work on me boo boo, nope.
She smacked her lips again and even pointed a finger at Matt, getting in his face. He leaned back slightly.
Sasha Banks: I’m not the bully here boo boo.
She poked his shoulder to emphasize the boo boo like a BOSS.
Sasha Banks: If anything me snatching Alexa Bliss bald tonight is just me gettin’ my revenge. Maybe Alexa Bliss is the bully here! Did you ever think about that, Todd?! NO! Of course you ain’t. Tuh.
She backed up out of Matt’s face before flipping her hair in it and walking away. Matt looked slightly flustered.
Matt Striker: It’s still Matt……..
The scene faded out to the next segment of Warfare.