Suddenly Dean’s smiley expression changed to one of horror. He quickly dropped the cigar and stubbed it out with his boot. He turned to go inside but a hand gripped his shoulder.
Seth Rollins: What have I said about smoking those things before a big match!
Dean looked guilty.
Dean Ambrose: I’m a bar owner! It’s what bar owners do! I’ve got a certain image to keep up, y’know?
He signalled towards inside - the empty bar. Seth frowned.
Seth Rollins: Yeah, I see business is thriving.
It looked like Dean might have cried. Seth patted him on the shoulder.
Seth Rollins: Come on. I’ll double your takings today by buying a water. I can only imagine how much that’ll cost.
He moved past Dean and entered through the doorway. He took a seat at the bar and looked around. There really was absolutely nobody in sight.
Seth Rollins: ...Not even a bartender?
Dean suddenly jolted and ran behind the bar. He grabbed a glass and a towel and started to clean the already spotless glass.
Dean Ambrose: What can I serve you with, patron? DON’T ORDER FOOD I GAVE THE CHEF THE DAY OFF.
Seth Rollins: A water! I guess you gave the usual bar staff the day off as well?
The guilty expression returned to Dean’s face.
Dean Ambrose: She asked so nicely!
Seth Rollins: Is the chef also a female?
The guilt intensified. Dean stormed towards the sink and filled the glass with water. He slammed it down in front of Seth.
Dean Ambrose: Six dollars.
Seth looked to Dean, then back to the glass of water, then to Dean again.
Seth Rollins: Is this even filtered?
Dean Ambrose: DOES FILTERED MEAN OUT OF A TAP? IF SO YES.
He turned his back on Seth moodily and picked up another clean glass to clean.
Dean Ambrose: Anyway, I doubt you can afford six dollars. You have to actually DO WELL AT YOUR JOB to earn money, uh, I think.
He turned dramatically back to Seth.
Dean Ambrose: Who did you lose to this week? HARDCORE HOLLY?
Seth Rollins: Piss off, Dean.
He also moodily grabbed the glass of water, some of it tipping out the side and onto the clean counter top.
Dean Ambrose: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!
He immediately mopped up the slight drops of water with his spotless towel.
Seth Rollins: Bartenders don’t bash other people. They let them drink in peace. And let their patrons explain their potential mid-life crisis.
He took a swig from his glass.
Seth Rollins: May I?
Dean sighed a Seth Rollins-esque sigh.
Dean Ambrose: I’m sorry, man. You know I feel your pain. It’s not like I’ve been entering any Hall of Fames lately. Then again - I am a prominent Nevada businessman alongside being a professional wrestler. But you… Yeah, something’s just not right, is it?
He turned and filled his clean glass with a dark liquid. He then took a seat next to his friend, and raised his glass towards him. Instead of the traditional ‘cheers’ response, however, Seth simply stared at the liquid in Dean’s glass.
Dean Ambrose: What? I am not a white woman on a diet.
Seth reluctantly clinked glasses with Dean and the two took a drink.
Dean Ambrose: Well, we just toasted nothing. We should be toasting the Seth Rollins era, though. You’re probably one of the best damn wrestlers of our generation and you’re sat in a bar with this useless brawler. How’d that happen?
Seth Rollins: See, that’s why I came to you, the bartender. You’re supposed to have the answers for me. Some philosophical bullshit or something that you just make up to make me feel alright.
Dean Ambrose: Ah, see. You’ve already made a huge error. The bullshit that bartenders come up with only sounds remotely logical because of what the patron imbibes. You, my crossfit-boning friend come to bars and drink water. Therefore, you will always call out bartenders for their bullshit. If they were philosophers, they wouldn’t be working off tips while surrounded by people having a great time while they are miserable. Fortunately for you…
He patted Seth on the back.
Dean Ambrose: You’ve got me. I’m WAY better than a bartender, despite technically having to be one right now. I’m your absolute genius of a best friend, and I will tell you all the bullshit you need to fill you with the confidence to tear the house down at Summerslam. So fire away, my brother.
Seth sat quietly for a moment, pondering things.
Seth Rollins: Well, nice chat man, gotta run.
He made to get up from the stool he sat upon, but Dean stopped him.
Dean Ambrose: Don’t you dare. You sit down right now and pour your heart out to me. Just don’t cry.
He forced Seth back down.
Dean Ambrose: I know you’re this career-driven withdrawn kinda guy - but you’re with family now. And if you can’t talk to me, who’re you gonna talk to? A THERAPIST? HA.
He cleared the rest of his glass.
Dean Ambrose: USELESS!
Seth Rollins: ...I guess you’re right. Plus I don’t have to pay you a dime.
Seth topped off his glass of water and forcefully placed the glass back down on the counter top.
Seth Rollins: Career-driven is the last thing I am right now man. I don’t feel focused. I’m all over the place. Nothing like I used to be.
Dean Ambrose: Well I did bring you in at the deep end, I guess. I’m hardly the calmest influence to have by your side when starting a new chapter in your career. You’ve just gotta get your head in the game, man. Can you do that by Sunday?
Seth Rollins: I better. Maybe that’s what’ll turn things around. Kicking some ass. A guy in a greasy wife beater and some dude with face paint can’t stop us.
Dean Ambrose: Nothing wrong with a greasy wife beater! I wear it better, though. And don’t forget the indy darlings - Kyle O’Reilly and Kevin Owens. You’d think they’d signed Jon Moxley and Tyler Black with the push they’re giving those two. But kicking some ass isn’t the only thing that should light a fire in you. Winning the tag team titles with your favourite person in the world?
He raised his glass. Seth smiled and obliged with the cheers with much more positivity this time.
Seth Rollins: Now we have something to toast to.
The scene opened up again at the Izod Centre.
Dean Ambrose: NEW JERSEYYYYYYYY! THE VEGAS OF THE, UH, EAST?
Seth Rollins: How are they even REMOTELY similar?!
Dean shrugged.
Dean Ambrose: Both in America?
Ambrose spotted a man with a clipboard in the distance and sprinted over to him.
Dean Ambrose: HEY. Who’s available for interviews? You know me, I like to get here and do INTERVIEWS. GRISHAM?
The man immediately flipped through the papers on his clipboard.
Clipboard Man: Filming a documentary for the website about… oh, us production staff!
Dean slapped his hand to his forehead.
Dean Ambrose: Damn. His life really does suck.
Clipboard Man: Only Coachman is free.
Dean looked like his entire family had been hit by a train. Seth had joined the two of them.
Seth Rollins: What’s up?
Dean turned to his best friend with a look of absolute terror.
Dean Ambrose: Coachman.
Seth shook his head in disbelief.
Seth Rollins: STILL?! GET OVER IT.
Dean stared at Seth with wide eyes.
Dean Ambrose: The man is an interviewing GOD. He brings emotion out of the emotionless. Fire out of the tame. He’s…
Seth Rollins: The fucking Coach.
Dean Ambrose: THE FUCKING COACH!!!
???: You called?
Dean’s eyes widened even more, somehow. Seth pushed him out of the way.
Seth Rollins: You cool to give us some interview time?
Jonathan Coachman: Certainly. We have some cameras set up round the corner. Follow me.
Coachman made off round the corner.
Dean Ambrose: How… did you do that?
Seth Rollins: What, speak to another human being? Come on.
He dragged Dean by the arm and around the corner towards Coachman and the cameras.
Jonathan Coachman: Tonight, these two men compete in a triple-threat tag match for the EBWF Tag Team Championships. Their opponents - the teams of Stardust and Luke Harper and from Vertex, Kyle O’Reilly and Kevin Owens. My guests - Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose.
Seth dragged Dean into camera shot and smiled and nodded at Coachman.
Seth Rollins: Good to see ya, Coach.
Dean looked horrified.
Jonathan Coachman: Tonight you two finally get your title shot against the champs and a new tandem in O’Reilly and Owens. Preparation must be tough for this one.
Seth Rollins: Well-
Dean Ambrose: He didn’t even ask a question and you have an ANSWER. He’s AMAZING.
Seth Rollins: ...well, Coach. When you have a guy who probably puts more effort into his make-up teamed up with another guy who has no sense of personal hygiene whatsoever… You don’t know what to expect. With a team like Stardust and Luke Harper, they’re unpredictable. It’s not everyday you can meet two people from two different worlds and have them become tag champs.
Dean hesitated for a moment, then summoned up the courage to speak.
Dean Ambrose: He’s got a point. But I suppose opposites do attract at times. HARPER - if you’re gonna steal my look at least have the personality to back it up. This is a trademark of the modern day businessman… or one I’m trying to start. STARDUST - you’re out there, I like that. But as a unit? It’s hardly a brotherhood. And the other two?
Seth Rollins: O’Reilly and Owens…
Dean Ambrose: Yeah, O’Reilly and Owens. Part of whatever the fuck a Vertex is. The new kids on the block. Well I actually know one of you pretty well, and my boy Seth here knows you both very well. When it comes to you Owens, you’re the brawler whom I know I can beat. You throw two pitbulls in a ring - the crazier one will always be the last one barking. O’Reilly on the other hand… You I don’t know too well. And therefore, I have zero opinion of you. Therefore I can just go out all guns blazing without a care in the world and leave you on your BACK.
He slapped Seth on the back and started pacing back and forth.
Seth Rollins: It ain’t been the smoothest sailing for me since being brought here. I was ushered in by Dean here to bring excitement, flair and excellence to the EBWF to go alongside the insane warpath he was carving out. Sure, things haven’t gone that way so far… But we’re still here. I’m still here. I am the present and future of wrestling and you combine that with the heart and soul of wrestling to my left… and right… and left…
Dean was pacing behind Seth.
Seth Rollins: here, Mr Dean Ambrose - you have a unit which on their day is unstoppable. And our day is today. Here in New Jersey-
Dean Ambrose: -THE LAS VEGAS OF THE EAST-
Seth Rollins: -it finally begins. The Rollins and Ambrose era begins.
Dean Ambrose: FINALLY! And it begins with us becoming the TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS OF THE WORLD.
He grabbed Seth by both shoulders and jumped excitedly. He pushed past him and came face to face with Coachman.
Dean Ambrose: YOU’RE NOT THAT SCARY.
And he ran away, leaving Seth and Coachman on the set.
Seth Rollins: And are you going to doubt that man?
He smiled, patted Coachman on the shoulder and left after his partner.
