You Aint Got No Alibi
Posted: Mon Oct 26, 2015 3:58 pm
“Jeff! Jeff Hardy! Oh boy what a treat this is. You've had some nice little things to say this week haven't you. You've towed the line of being a nice guy looking for a good match against someone you claim to respect. Trying to show us all that you can be a family man too with your rather homely wife and ugly little girl at your side. What a charming little picture you've painted for us all. It's just a shame it all has to end.”
He lets out a laugh and the camera shakes all over the place for a moment.
“Ok, first thing I gotta say here Jeff, is that I have been through some amazing and brutal and amazingly brutal battles in my time but you, sir, look like you've been hit by one big ugly train. I mean wow! If I saw your face on the back of a milk carton I'd throw it away thinking the whole thing had gone bad! But you know what, your face being the only thing scary about you really shows us all how lucky you've been since you came into this company. While those other guys may have been afraid to even look at you, let alone get into the ring with such a hideous being, I've got no problem getting in there and trying to beat the ugly outta you.”
He chuckles, shaking his head slightly.
“Let's put all of that to the side for a moment and focus on what we've got heading into this match. We're both on a small little roll here aren't we. Yes, you hold the basic of the basic belt that they offer, good for you. Not a huge major accomplishment, but it's something you can, will, and do cling onto and I get that. We've both been in this business for a long time, we've worked the same cards together, the same arenas, in the same building, but never in the same ring. Don't you want to know why that is, Jeff? It's because I plain and simple don't care about you at all. You've got nothing to give me as far as, well... anything. You're a flash in the pan, a junkie, a flunky, and an all around just kind of bland and boring person. But hey, you've done your best to make it work for you haven't ya.”
Mankind shrugs slightly, looking off.
“So yeah Jeff, you feel like you're on top of the world right now. Well you know what, that's fine. Me? I'm still clawing my way up and I have no problem knocking you down along the way. You think your life is one big happy-go-lucky time, everything going your way. Well that's why I'm here Jeff, to throw sand in your cereal. To piss in the proverbial gas tank of your life. But don't you worry because once this week it over, you can go crawling back to the fugly fam and hug it out.”
With that he simply drops the camera and walks off.