Tenderize

[Juan Ramirez]

The question was not “Why him?”. The real question is “Why not sooner?”.
Ryan Reeves had it all, he had that killer physique, trapezoids and latissimus dorsi muscles that looked like they could carry the entire company with relative ease.

He might not strike you as the most gifted superstar on the mic at first glance, But to be fair, he has never had a chance like this one.

A singles match up against the EBWF World Champion. Sure, backstage rumours came back and forth about how spirits were low regarding the World Title picture, on how non-fighting champions hurt the title’s prestige. Certain air of uncertainty surrounded the current EBWF World Title holder in the eye of grappling peers and dirt sheets… What a better moment for Ryan?

Sure, he has been used mostly as a Tag Team Wrestler, but he has excelled at it, he had put Tag team wrestling back on the map, the division was slowly coming to be. If anything, this would make heads turn towards the tag team division… That was the point his Tag partner was making as they stood side by side on their locker room.

Wade was wearing a black “BAD NEWS BARRETT” T-Shirt, black pants and shoes. Ryback had a white and dodger blue airbrushed singled with a huge “R” painted upon his abdomen, knee pads, elbow pads and boots laced, ready to dance. Ryback’s massive lungs exhaled.

Wade Barrett: Come on Ryback. We have gone through this over and over again.

Ryback shook his head slowly.

Ryback: I still don’t believe this is happening… I don’t know what to expect…

Wade Barrett: You don’t need to beat that drum, Ryback. There is not a scenario in which you fighting the World Champion is detrimental to your image or career…

Fighting? What about beating him? Did he really stand a chance? He would know moments before he went out to face the music.

Ryback: I guess you’re right… Heh. I even was told they want me to go out there and flap my gums some…

Wade Barrett: Have you written something down?

Ryback had not. Hell, he didn’t even know he had to. His baby blue eyes went wide, showing both how surprised he was, and how he hadn’t written a word. He shrugged.

Ryback: I’m just going to go out there and wing it. I do my talking during the week. Waking up early, being on a high protein regime, hell, I even doubled up my training schedule ever since I was told I was going to have this match. That's all the talking I've done this week... Tonight I am going to walk out there and I am going to let the world know I live and breathe for this business, and this is the opportunity of a lifetime...

Wade Barrett: The way I see it, Ryback has earned a pass to the world's finest restaurant. Make it count... You have absolutely nothing to lose! If you beat the World Champion, if you stun him it would be AMAZING.

Ryback and Wade locked their fingers in a strong, manly handshake.

Wade Barrett: Are you sure you want to do this by yourself?

Ryback smiled and nodded.

Wade Barrett: Give him hell, Big Guy.

Big Guy. In the Palaeolithic era the biggest, strongest, fiercest man was the one deemed to thrive, his genes were the ones that got passed on to future generations. Survival of the fittest... However, somewhere along the line, the weak, feeble, tiny mouth began plotting his way to the top. Lying, deceiving, conniving, the smaller man soon established himself at the summit of the pyramid, becoming a shot caller.

Ryback's opponent, The Miz was no different from the pathetic, weak humans who dethroned his ancestors with conspiracies. Largely succeeding throughout his career thanks to other's fighting his battles, doing his dirty work for him, Miz was probably not very fond of having to meet with The Big Guy, mano a mano. Of course, his lackeys would be by his side to make the ride smoother... For The Ryback, the more opponents, the more his appetite will be satisfied.

"FEED ME MORE!"

After those words were blasted over the PA System, the chords from Jim Johnston's "Meat on the Table" filled the arena. The Ryback emerged from the curtain to a mixed reaction from the crowd, swaying his massive arms up and down before pacing down towards the ring, he got into the ring through the middle ropes and grabbed a hold of a microphone.

Ryback: You know... I am usually a man of a few words. But I guess I should make an exception, considering it is not often that you get a match of this... Caliber. A lot of people have approached me this week and asked me about my upcoming match against the EBWF World Champion... "How do you feel about being fed The Miz?", Boy I only hope I don't get indigestion!
Another question I have been asked throughout the week was "Why?"... Why is Ryback facing The Miz? Why is some random guy facing the EBWF World Champion? Why? Well, let me tell you...


The sound of glass shattering filled the arena, followed by "I won't do what you tell me", the crowd blew the roof off for the EBWF General Manager, Stone Cold Steve Austin. Wearing black boots, blue jeans and his trademark skull vest, he made his way to the ring and posed on the four turnbuckles with both arms raised up before joining Ryback in the center of the ring, a microphone on his right hand.

Stone Cold Steve Austin: Son, you wanna know why ole Stone Cold chose you?

Ryback looked quite pumped by the fact the General Manager was in his presence, he smiled and nodded in reply to Stone Cold.

Stone Cold Steve Austin: You know, when I agreed to be on this rodeo, I knew it wasn't going to be easy...

Crowd: WHAT?

Stone Cold Steve Austin: I knew there were a couple of thought S.O.B.'s I needed to keep in line...

Crowd: WHAT?

Stone Cold Steve Austin: I knew I needed to bring a good bunch o' cans of Whoop Ass to EBWF!

The crowd cheered in approval.

Stone Cold Steve Austin: But Ole' Stone Cold ain't a greedy guy! So why would I keep the pleasure of opening a cans of whoop ass when I can share? It's no secret to everyone that Our current EBWF World Champion is a little scheming coward...

Crowd: WHAT?

Stone Cold Steve Austin: A Weasel...

Crowd: WHAT?

Stone Cold Steve Austin: A Scheming little bitch waiting for Sami Zayn to kick his ass at Fanniversary!

Once again the crowd cheered.

Stone Cold Steve Austin: But Stone Cold figured The Miz needed one last, painful stop before his defense next week. So I sat down in my ranch and had a beer while I thought on who would be the right guy to face The Miz. I figured it would have to be someone aware of his band being by ringside. I had two beers. I figured whoever would get to main event Warfare against The Miz would need to have a big task ahead of him. I ran out of beers so I asked my neighbor for one.Then he told me "What about that big guy? The bald one who could eat a dozen Oxen and craved dessert... Are you that guy?

Ryback: What? Austin, I am not a guy, I am not that guy, I am THE guy. Because while The Miz has been living the high life as World Champion, I have been putting more intensity on my food regime, my training, I've been thinking nonstop about the moment I walk in between this ropes with the EBWF World Champion. I am aware he is not alone... I am aware of the Mickey Mouse club chasing the Miz's tail all over the place... I am aware of their dirty tactics... Between you and I, I'd love any of those losers to try and lay a finger on me... They'd look mighty fine after one of Ryback's special smile designs! You chose me for being insatiable, I will show you and I will show them you can't be fed enough MORONS! They might be calling me a knucklehead and whatnot, but I'm not the one who ignores the way nature works, survival of the fittest! And it only takes a glance between Miz and I for anyone to realize who is the superior specimen! Now, win or lose I will get this thing done on my own... Wade Barrett isn't out here tonight, nor he won't be during my match! Now if The Miz wants to bring his fan club ringside they're more than welcome to cross my path during or after the match!

Austin seemed pleased.

Stone Cold Steve Austin: Son, I knew you had it in you! Now, you know it is a non title match, you know there is still a long way before you can earn a World Title shot. What's the point of this match is the Miz asking?

Ryback: Putting it in your words Austin: The point is raising hell on the Miz and his loser club! Showing them who is on top of the freakin' food chain! This might be a non-title match, the Miz's title might be safe and sound around his waist... But that won't stop me from making him go through unmeasurable amounts of pain, breaking him limb by limb and like a good piece of meat before a Barbecue, I will make sure The Miz is properly tenderized for Sami Zayn.

Austin turned towards the time keeper and signalled for him to toss him a couple of beer cans. His microphone rested under his armpit as he grabbed the two cans in the air, handing one to Ryback.

Stone Cold Steve Austin: How about we drink to that?

Both beer cans collided and liquid spilled over the canvas as both men took their first sip of beer.

Ryback: The Miz might thing he's the reincarnation of Ric Flair, riding private jets, wearing expensive suits, riding limousines... Let's see what he says after I clothesline his head off and bring him back to reality! Will he continue shrugging opponents off? I dare him. I double dare him... Simply put, because I have nothing to lose... On the other hand, the little credibility he has had as World Champion will go down the toilet if he's manhandled and tossed around by a knucklehead tag team wrestler like me...

Stone Cold Steve Austin: Son, you look ready for Miz...

Ryback: FEED. ME. MORONS.

Stone Cold Steve Austin: And Owens...

Ryback: FEED. ME. MORONS.

Stone Cold Steve Austin: And DiBiase...

Ryback: FEED. ME. MORONS.

Stone Cold Steve Austin: And O'Reilly...

Ryback: FEED. ME MORONS.

Stone Cold Steve Austin: And Balor...

Ryback: FEED. ME MORONS. FEED ME MORONS.

The crowd followed round with a "FEED ME MORONS" chant as both men finished their beer, the scene faded to black.