EBWF Download #3
Posted: Sun Jul 08, 2012 1:54 pm
~Dolph Ziggler stood in a dark room where an enormous monitor was revealed behind him. He was wearing a black suit with a pink tie and he had a pair of pink rimmed shades resting atop of his head. He looked just as smarmy as ever~
Dolph Ziggler: Hi. I'm Dolph Ziggler. And welcome to another edition of EBWF Download.
I'm extremely excited. Why you may ask? Because I have been selected for something amazing. Something that has never happened in the world of professional wrestling! Wes Ikeda apparently has many tricks up his sleeve but this one tops them all. I will be traveling back in time to the year 2005 where I will be facing hot, up and coming star, Mr. Kennedy.
~Dolph looked off camera.~
Dolph Ziggler: What's that? I'm NOT going to be time traveling? You're telling me that Mr. Kennedy is STILL around in 2012? And he changed his name? AND he's the IC Champion?
~The Show-Off rubbed a few fingers against his temple in dismay~
Dolph Ziggler: I know I haven't been here very long but WOW. This roster absolutely sucks! Are you kidding me? THAT guy is a champion and I'm not? I'm better looking than him, I'm in better shape, my moves look cooler, my hair is AMAZING...need I say more? My theme song is more bad ass, my tan is phenomenal and I've got a perfect jawline. Seriously. If you look up "SUPERSTAR" you see a big picture of me and my million dollar smile. It's not even a contest. And I cannot STAND people like him that just talk incessantly. Rambling, babbling, blah, blah, blah, yap, yap, yap...it's a disgusting personality trait.
~Dolph paused a moment and held up one of his fingers.~
Dolph Ziggler: Wait a second. I've got someone on the live feed. The president of the Mr. Anderson fan-club. Exclusive interview. I know I just told you that I didn't even know the guy still existed but I'm amazing and the laws of physics and logic do not apply to me. Don't question it.
~The monitor came to life with the image of a very stereotypical nerd. A super chubby guy with acne, thick glasses, a very tight Mr. Anderson shirt that was far too small so the dude's belly hung out and large braces. The room he stood in was filled with Mr. Anderson posters and he held an action figure of the IC Champ in his hands. He opened his mouth to speak but got caught off.~
Dolph Ziggler: Let me stop you right there. Your weakness is disgusting to me. You exude feminine qualities. You're also a big, fat piece of ass. You will never be worthy of anything. Your parents regret having you. INTERVIEW OVER.
~The monitor went to static before the president could speak a single word.~
Dolph Ziggler: You know what? I think that's enough. I feel dirty just looking at that. I'm going to go shower with the Swedish volley ball team. Because they dig me. And when I'm done I'm going to come up with ways to HURT Mr. Anderson for inadvertently allowing that thing to come into existence. I don't need to tell you to comment, like or subscribe because we all know you do that anyway and your life would be meaningless without this show. Ciao.
~The video ended and with the flash of an EBWF logo.~
Dolph Ziggler: Hi. I'm Dolph Ziggler. And welcome to another edition of EBWF Download.
I'm extremely excited. Why you may ask? Because I have been selected for something amazing. Something that has never happened in the world of professional wrestling! Wes Ikeda apparently has many tricks up his sleeve but this one tops them all. I will be traveling back in time to the year 2005 where I will be facing hot, up and coming star, Mr. Kennedy.
~Dolph looked off camera.~
Dolph Ziggler: What's that? I'm NOT going to be time traveling? You're telling me that Mr. Kennedy is STILL around in 2012? And he changed his name? AND he's the IC Champion?
~The Show-Off rubbed a few fingers against his temple in dismay~
Dolph Ziggler: I know I haven't been here very long but WOW. This roster absolutely sucks! Are you kidding me? THAT guy is a champion and I'm not? I'm better looking than him, I'm in better shape, my moves look cooler, my hair is AMAZING...need I say more? My theme song is more bad ass, my tan is phenomenal and I've got a perfect jawline. Seriously. If you look up "SUPERSTAR" you see a big picture of me and my million dollar smile. It's not even a contest. And I cannot STAND people like him that just talk incessantly. Rambling, babbling, blah, blah, blah, yap, yap, yap...it's a disgusting personality trait.
~Dolph paused a moment and held up one of his fingers.~
Dolph Ziggler: Wait a second. I've got someone on the live feed. The president of the Mr. Anderson fan-club. Exclusive interview. I know I just told you that I didn't even know the guy still existed but I'm amazing and the laws of physics and logic do not apply to me. Don't question it.
~The monitor came to life with the image of a very stereotypical nerd. A super chubby guy with acne, thick glasses, a very tight Mr. Anderson shirt that was far too small so the dude's belly hung out and large braces. The room he stood in was filled with Mr. Anderson posters and he held an action figure of the IC Champ in his hands. He opened his mouth to speak but got caught off.~
Dolph Ziggler: Let me stop you right there. Your weakness is disgusting to me. You exude feminine qualities. You're also a big, fat piece of ass. You will never be worthy of anything. Your parents regret having you. INTERVIEW OVER.
~The monitor went to static before the president could speak a single word.~
Dolph Ziggler: You know what? I think that's enough. I feel dirty just looking at that. I'm going to go shower with the Swedish volley ball team. Because they dig me. And when I'm done I'm going to come up with ways to HURT Mr. Anderson for inadvertently allowing that thing to come into existence. I don't need to tell you to comment, like or subscribe because we all know you do that anyway and your life would be meaningless without this show. Ciao.
~The video ended and with the flash of an EBWF logo.~