Reverse Midas Touch.

[Juan Ramirez]

OOC: Sorry, this was a little rushed, grad day is tomorrow and I'm organizing everything!

“Zoned out.”

For a superstar who had a zero tolerance policy on drug taking, using that term felt kinda weird... And no, it wasn't AJ Styles who taught him that term. There he was, clad in a white Gi with the Roufosport MMA Academy logo imprinted upon it. He was sitting barefoot on a blue mat, sitting in the lotus position. A serious stare aimed at the camera, which was rolling.

CM Punk: That’s the only expression I can come up with when people ask me “How are you feeling, Punk?”. Y’know, sometimes in life… Even if you do your best, it is still not enough to get a job done. It is no secret that things haven’t been exactly going out as planned since my return…

He shrugged. Sure his recent showings had fans and critics alike wondering if he still had it, if EBWF was doing good business by keeping him on a payroll, if knacks and injuries had taken it’s toll on him.

CM Punk: So this is me, doing something about my current situation.

Punk took a look around, the camera panned along with the movement of his head, MMA training dummies, Boxing bags, and even a cage for drills and training matches.

CM Punk: Just like a warrior whose blade needs tempering from time to time… Welcome to the Citadel, where I come to sharpen my kicks, stiffen my punches, discipline my mind and chisel my body to be the savior you all so desperately claim for. “Why, Punk, Why?”

Punk pressed his tongue against his lower lip, to mess around with his lip ring, twisting it slightly from left to right.

CM Punk: Simply put, because being the best is not only what drives me, it is what sets me apart from every other so called “Wrestler” in the room, in the company and in the world freaking World. As you have noticed… I tend to surround myself by people with similar mentalities.. We are on a crusade to purge EBWF from people who rather spend their night at catering, or chittychatting over mimosas rather than working their asses off in the ring…

Punk chuckled.

CM Punk: Its not like they have a choice… It is only natural than when you lack the talent in the ring, you have to try and excel in other areas… This is sadly the dark turn our beloved industry has taken, only to fill the pockets of the man sitting on top of the mountain… You know who you are, brother.

Punk smirked again, squinting his eyes a little.

CM Punk: How dire is the current state of EBWF… With a character who loves to show off at Jimmy Fallon, but who hates to show up early for training. How do I feel about a man like that, sitting on top of the mountain… Let’s see.

Punk leaned into the camera slowly.

CM Punk: How am I supposed to feel? Let’s see… A Champion is not supposed to be braiding other divas’ hair, a champion is not about how many talk shows and interviews he does, and most certainly… a Champion is not about surrounding once self with Doofuses. A champion is made and broken in the ring… I have the fortune of breaking a champion with my bare hands come Monday night… A “Champion”, yes. Miz has the nerve to call himself that. I could go rambling on and on about how Mike Mizanin is NOT a true champion and NOT worthy of being the EBWF World Champion… By the way, have you notices he keeps refering to the title to EBWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP? A 221 Piece of Crap like the Miz… Can’t even get the title’s name right! Let’s say that in his delusional world, weighing it at 221 pounds he is a heavyweight… Maybe that is why he thinks he is larger than life, maybe that is why he thinks he is awesome, because he couldn’t even get past the freakin’ metric System. That would explain while he thinks he is a global phenomenon, because his crappy movies keep piling up on the clearance bins at Walmart.

Punk took a breath.

CM Punk: As you can tell… There are several things that bother me about The Miz. Where shall we start? Not from his stupid Toad Face... Because I am about to have lunch and I don't feel like throwing up in my mouth. Besides not getting past the metric system, it seems like he REALLY, REALLY couldn’t get past his awesome high school catchphrases… I’m sorry to break it to you, but right now I highly doubt you can spell "Wrestler” Correctly, let alone consider yourself one… And sure, maybe you are Hacksaw Jim Duggan’s favorite… But he had many 4x2 shots to the back of the head, so he doesn’t really count. From his childlish phrases that make the Rock sound like fucking Aristotle, to his stupid posse of jerks wasting their lifes by following him, not you Ted, you have no talent whatsoever and you’re a charisma vacuum, so it is like you and Miz are meant for one another… EBWF’s own Beavis and Butthead… What’s the name of their little group anyways? Commodore 64? A group comprised of Ted DiBiase is doomed to implode from the start. Period.

He chuckled.

CM Punk: Our little prom queen gets the finest independent wrestlers in the world, people like Steen, Devitt, O’Reilly, not you Ted… Your career and pathetic World title one week reign is shameful and a living joke that will haunt us forever… Anyway, Miz gets these massive Indy stars to do Monkey flips and nod their head for him, it is like having the blueprints to build the sixteen chapel and he ends up building a ####ing McDonald’s restaurant instead. Each and every single one of the members of “Vomit” is better than Miz, except for Ted obviously. I gotta give it to you… Miz, talk about the inverse Midas touch! The inverse Midas touch is actually named Sadim Touch, but apparently counting pounds was too much for you at school... Basically, everything you touch, you ruin, dear Mike.

Punk tilted his head to the side.

CM Punk: You have such a big mouth on yourself... You talk smack like you've been holding this company for years over your NON HEAVYWEIGHT Shoulders... You were hiding in the back, chugging up on Catering and Layla's Biscuit backstage. You just took the easy way to the top, chump... Even if it took you a whole year to get a whole of the PTG title, even if you have gotten lucky and retained your title within and inch of your life... You just want to come out there every monday night and talk about how you are the greatest thing to ever grace an EBWF ring. I believe a reality check is long overdue Mikey. Sure, you've come far enough from being that insufferable jerk in MTV, to being an insufferable jerk on EBWF... I'm glad you dropped the Fedora, because Frank Sinatra can finally rest in peace. I'm pretty sure you don't like me because I can see straight through you, and even if you have beaten me in the past, it won't change what the world thinks about you... Me, the boys in the back... We all think you're just an opportunist... But don't flatter yourself, not like Edge.

Punk scoffed.

CM Punk: Of all the times I have ben ear tortured by listening to you… I have never heard you acknowledge me, my greatness or my contributions to this place, not even once. Now, you’re pathologically narcissist -Which means a lot coming from a guy like me, trust me.But never have I seen those stupid toad lips move to pronounce the words “Had there been no PTG championship, forged by the Mighty CM Punk, there would not be A CHANCE IN HELL I would be clinging to this EBWF World Championship, not heavyweight, I hope you have gotten that through your idiotic Hollywood D-list artist excuse of a brain.

Punk smiled pleasantly.

CM Punk: But today, today you have the chance to make it up to me. You can lace up your boots, you can put on your trunks, you can bring that EBWF World Championship Belt to the ring, and you can show me past that stupid toad face of yours, past that lame 1980s videogame console crap of a group you’re sucking the life from, again… Not Ted, he has nothing you can suck from, past your MTV catchphrases and you can face me… Wrestler to Wrestler. I am saying you have a chance to do it… I mean, you likely will, due to contractual obligations, yadda… But can you outwrestle me? That’s a whole other story.

Punk placed a hand on his chest, fist closed next to his heart.

CM Punk: Today, I, CM Punk take full responsibility for allowing a moronic excuse of a wrestler and his stooges to take the Path To Glory title and drive it into the ground. Even more so, to use it as a stepping stone to get the most prestigious title of them all, and mispronounce it’s name. I am deeply sorry for that… And I vow that as long as there’s blood flowing through my veins, as long as there’s air in my longs and as long as there’s fire in my soul, I will fight to make everything right… I will fight along my comrades to purge EBWF from the stoogey, nonsensical, comedical, downward spiral the Vomit has put it into. It all starts tonight. Making you World Champion is a mistake I take full responsibility upon... I hope you are ready to meet your maker, because he is going to SHATTER you tonight.

Punk leaned into the camera.

CM Punk: And if you think you have me figured out... If wherever your are, you are rejoicing, pointing your finger at me and claiming that “I’ve dropped the ball”, allow me to tell you: That is all I ever need… Someone to prove wrong, someone to show I am relentless and mighty, I am not a path, I am THE path, Miz… THE path you will never be able to walk on. Mike, I am standing here as your future opponent because I never allowed people to give me NO for an answer... A Scrawny little kid from Chicago can only get so far eh? Scrawny or not... Title or non title match, I will smite your fake legacy and bring you down… I will expose you to the world as what you really are, a doofus, a pompous jerk who can’t wrestle himself out of the bedsheets every morning, because I am CM Punk and I AM BETTER THAN YOU.

Punk crossed his arms firmly and stood before the camera with a smug smirk.

[Kamden]

WOWOWOWOW Juan this was great! I enjoyed reading this. It was really solid.

But I don't know if I should say welcome back or not hahahaha