Younger, and obviously better looking
Posted: Fri Jan 15, 2016 4:18 am
Warfare was being shown live from the Sprint Center in Missouri. A clearly agitated Tyler Breeze could be seen pacing up and down a corridor. He was in his wrestling attire. His purple wrestling tights shimmered under the lights and his white fur waist coat hung open. The trademark boot tassels flicked from side to side as he continued to search for someone or something. As he walked past a janitor who was mopping the floor he spoke to him, clearly annoyed.
Tyler Breeze - You. Do you know where Kes Ikeda’s office is?
The janitor looked at him blankly for a moment. Breeze continued to stare right through him. Tyler rolled his eyes, looking to the ceiling tutting theatrically. He spoke again, this time he got within a few inches of the janitor's face and spoke extremely slowly, emphasising each word.
Tyler Breeze - DO. YOU. KNOW. WHERE. IKEDA’S. OFFICE. IS?
The janitor lifted his hand and pointed down the hall.
Janitor - It’s down there Mr Breeze.
Tyler Breeze - Finally. It’s like trying to get sense from a monkey.
Breeze strode in the direction he had been told. Shouting over his shoulder as he went.
Tyler Breeze - You missed a spot!
He walked at a fast pace checking each door he went by until he reached one that had a makeshift sign on it saying “WES IKEDA - OFFICE”. Breeze began to bang on the door trying to open it using the handle only to find it was locked. He shouted at the door.
Tyler Breeze - LET ME IN RIGHT NOW! YOU MUST HAVE KNOWN I WAS COMING YOU COWARD. OPEN UP NOW!
He continued to bang on the door becoming increasingly frustrated at being unable to open it.
Tyler Breeze - Jez, it’s bad enough you’re wasting this red letter day on the idiot fans here in Missouri. But against Ziggler of all people. Are you kidding me? Doesn’t the EBWF realise you only get one chance to debut Prince Pretty and you’re going to waste that by putting me in a match with the show TURN off?
He paced up the corridor once again, still speaking to the door but clearly he had realised he was not going to be able to open it.
Tyler Breeze - The world will be watching, this is the first day of a new era for EBWF and it needs to be perfect. Do you really want the internet to be full of pictures of me stood in the ring, arms raised in victory and in the background is Dolph Ziggler, with his face that quite frankly looks like a melted candle? How many ‘likes’ do you think a picture with that loser in will get?
Breeze looked to the ceiling, almost as if he was distracted by his own question momentarily. Until he snapped out of his trance and carried on speaking.
Tyler Breeze - I am the future, it’s inevitable that sooner rather than later I’ll have the EBWF title around my waist to compliment my already impeccable outfit. But you think it’s fitting that you put the future of the company in a match with a guy who is so old I’m pretty sure he wrestled his first match against a dinosaur? Getting in the ring with Dolph will feel like I’m giving my Grandpa a beat down, it’s just weird.
He once again stopped directly outside the door and pointed at it, like the door he was talking to was, infact, a person.
Tyler Breeze - But you know what Des, I’m here at Warfare. Make sure you’ve contacted the local old people’s home on Dolph’s behalf before our match because I’ll be strutting down that aisle, broadcasting the whole thing to my millions and millions of fans on social media. I’ll step into the ring and I’ll make all the management here in the EBWF look like the chumps they are for putting me in this match. The only person who’ll look a bigger fool than YOU will be Dolph Ziggler. On every level he can not compete with me. I’m younger, obviously much better looking (Breeze ran his hand down his torso doing his duck faced pout) and in every way imaginable better in the ring than that has been. I am the alpha male and Dolph is the beta. It will almost be a pleasure in taking him apart limb by limb and piece by piece. The EBWF universe will get to witness the reign of the King of Cuteville begin.
Breeze seemed almost to be waiting for the door to open and for a response, but it didn’t happen.
Tyler Breeze - So you make sure he’s here, Les. Make sure he doesn’t chicken out, because it would be devastating if those idiots out there didn’t get to witness me in action once in their pathetic lives because……….
He became distracted as the janitor he had previously spoken to was now mopping the floor around his feet.
Janitor - I forgot to say Mr Ikeda hasn’t arrived yet, so his office is empty….
Tyler Breeze - EMPTY? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
The janitor just nodded and carried on with the work as a furious Tyler Breeze briskly walked away even more annoyed than he was previously.....