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Renee Young - So I was sent this evening gown and an invitation to meet here, now, for what is described as “An insight into the mind of an EBWF star”. I don’t know what that means, or who it is, but let’s find out.
Renee Young knocked on the door of the grand house she was standing outside. It was new and extremely large, from first look she assumed 8, maybe 9 bedrooms. It was modern looking, almost clinical in its appearance. She had chosen not to wear the dress she had been sent, mainly because she thought it was awful. Instead she was in a pair of casual jeans and a maroon jumper, not knowing what to expect. Suddenly the door swung open and a voice called “COME DOWN THE HALL”.
Nervously, Renee did so. Passing down a long entrance hallway, heading towards a door which was lit, where she assumed the voice had come from. She stepped inside the room to find a man sitting at desk. He was in an extremely well tailored grey 3 piece suit. It was not well lit and she was unable to see his face at first. Before she had even noticed, he gestured for her to sit at one of the chairs by the desk. As she approached she realised the man was none other than Tyler Breeze.
Tyler Breeze - Nice of you to dress up for the occasion Ms Young. I was hoping for somewhat more of an effort from you.
He learnt towards her and attempted to brush his fingers down her face gently. But instinctively she pulled away. With unashamed confidence, as if she had not rejected his touch Breeze carried on talking.
Tyler Breeze - What do you think of my humble abode Renee?
Renee Young - Well, it’s not exactly what I would call humble…
Tyler Breeze - Ah yes, I assume you and I have different ideas of what is classed as humble. I invited you here today to delve into my mind. So you can find out what makes me tick. As the EBWF universe will be seeing more of me soon, its best they know what drives me.
Renee Young - Ermmmm, yeah I guess so. That sounds like a really good idea Tyler.
Tyler Breeze - Please Renee, you know me well enough, call me Mr Breeze. Or Prince Pretty. Whichever you prefer.
Renee Young paused for a moment not knowing what to say. Tyler Breeze just kept looking at her with his crooked smile. After thinking for a while, she realised the best thing to do was get the interview done as quickly as possible.
Renee Young - Ok, Mr Breeze, the EBWF Universe wants to know are you excited about wrestling in your first ever Royal Rumble?
Tyler held his hand up to stop Renee speaking.
Tyler Breeze - Firstly Renee, I don’t wrestle. I entertain... hard. Secondly my dream isn’t to compete in a Royal Rumble, it is a means to an end. Although I will admit 29 other superstars will have their dreams realised at the Joe Louis Arena when they can say that they finally stepped in the ring with Prince. Walk with me.
With grace, Tyler sprung to his feet and left the room. Renee scrambled to her feet and followed with her cameraman. They walked down another long hallway which looked more like a hospital than a home, it was so sterile, clean and unwelcoming. They reached a door which was locked and Breeze stopped turning to both Renee and the camera.
Tyler Breeze - You see Renee my desires are…. unconventional.
Not knowing what reaction he wanted, Renee took a moment and then spoke to him.
Renee Young - So show me.
With that Breeze opened the door to which he had led Renee Young to. As the light crept in and Renee saw what was inside she could not help letting out an expletive out under her breath.
Inside each and every wall was covered from floor to ceiling in extremely well Photoshopped pictures of Tyler Breeze with the EBWF title belt. Above a fireplace was a replica of the championship, with a placard under it saying “TYLER BREEZE - WORLD CHAMPION” He pointed to it.
Tyler Breeze - The one accessory that money can’t buy, one that can only be earnt and so far eludes me. The EBWF championship. But at the Royal Rumble I get my chance and I plan on taking it with both hands.
He clenched his fists in Renee’s face, in a manic fashion.
Tyler Breeze - You see to the EBWF I am the state lottery, the cure for cancer and the three wishes from Aladdin’s lamp all rolled into one. I’m EVERYTHING they want as a champion and it won’t be an opportunity I let slip through my fingers. I’m young, good looking and talent oozes from every single beautiful pore on my body. You must sympathise with me Renee. Every morning you must toss aside dozens of terrible outfits until you find your treasure, that one that you think looks half decent to wear for the day. Well, at the Royal Rumble I will do the same. Like you tossing your thrift store clothes from the cupboard each morning, I will be throwing EBWF superstars over the top rope. And like the happiness you feel when you finally lay eyes on that one garment slightly less terrible than all the other outfits in your wardrobe, I will feel the same as I dispatch the last wrestler from the ring.
Stepping closer to Renee he whispered in her ear while holding the sleeve of her jumper with his thumb and finger as if holding a dirty tissue.
Tyler Breeze - And a word of advice Ms Young, purple knitwear is certainly not this season, nor was it last season or any season before that.
He then pulled away and began to address the camera again.
Tyler Breeze - As that last wrestler is thrown over the top rope my eyes will light up in the exact same way yours did when you saw this purple monstrosity. As I will then be on the road to headlining the biggest event of them all. I will be striding toward Wrestlemania like a supermodel on a runway in Milan (he leant in to Renee again and whispered, “It’s a place in Italy deary.” Then pulled away again). No matter who has that EBWF title, it will be mine. It is destined that the King of Cuteville will wear the greatest accessory of them around his waist soon rather than later. So Renee the other 29 can brag and boast about being the best, but NO ONE will stop me from getting my hands on the pièce de résistance for my outfit, the EBWF title. Remember Renee, for fashion I live and for fashion I will die. Now get out of my house.
With that Tyler blew the camera a kiss and walked away as it faded to black.