Highway To Helms: Return To [Warfare]
Posted: Mon Feb 22, 2016 11:24 pm
Subscribers to Shane Helms' YouTube page are greeted with a new video today. Entitled Highway 2 Helms: Return To Warfare, the video opens with a short video package depicting various stages of Helms' career all set to his ring music, "Ladies and Gentlemen" by Saliva. The intro finishes with a picture of Helms as The Hurricane on the ringpost, arms extended, displaying his H2H logo on his chest.
The intro transitions over to the meat of the video, Helms himself walking through Indianapolis International Airport, wheeling his luggage bag behind him. The video is shot selfie-style, and appears to be Helms shooting himself with his phone - whether he's using a selfie stick is unclear. He wears a black t-shirt emblazoned with a Carolina Panthers logo, under a nondescript gray hoodie, his signature black skullcap covering his head. He begins to speak.
Shane Helms: Several weeks ago, I came to a crossroads in my life. I felt there was still some unfinished business for me out here on the road, that business being the EBWF World Heavyweight Championship. And I had to pose some tough questions to myself. Do I still have it? Can I come back and still be at that upper tier level that I always knew I was? And will things be any different? Heh... things, things will never be different. So long as Wes Ikeda is in charge, things will never be different. I'm not sure what I was thinking. Maybe I thought enough years had gone by, and the industry had moved to a new place, one where hard work and talent was rewarded rather than relegated to midcard squabbles. But it's not any different. Ikeda took the number 30 slot in the Royal Rumble for himself, and took the Rumble, and the World Title shot at WrestleMania where he gets to fight one of his good ol boys for a big payday and everybody leaves happy. And you know what? That's fine. Grab-assy politics was never really my thing. They can have their big WrestleMania moment. Me? Well, tonight I'm headed to the Conseco Fieldhouse, or whatever they've changed the name to this week, and I've got a triple threat match with a couple of legends... and Syxx. And if I have to put a couple of guys in their place to get a shot at Jericho for his "other" title, and show all of you just where I still stand in this whole crazy thing, then that's what I'll do.
SH: Bret Hart. I feel for ya, man. I really do. You came back for the Rumble just like I did, and that's admirable. But I haven't seen a fire in you. I haven't seen a true spark in you since the Screwjob, and that was what, 20 years ago? I'm glad that you want to show you can still go, but you can't. I'm sorry to break that news to you, buddy, but it's the truth. Don't be a Ric Flair. Don't be a TNA-era Hogan, hobbling around the ring trying to get all your shit in for one last cheap pop. It's not a good look for you. Go home. Rest your knees, play with your grandkids, live a life of luxury and happiness knowing that you were once the best. I'm begging you, man, don't make me do what I have to do if we get into the ring tonight.
SH: And Syxx. Man, I tried to watch your fan question segment, and I just couldn't do it. I don't know what you're doing. I don't know what direction you're going in. I really don't know what or who I'm working with here. Everything you say and do is a hot mess, but maybe you like it that way. Seems like you've been that way for a lot of years. It's always seems like if the rest of the wrestling world was using 10% of their brain you were using... one and a half percent. The rest is clogged with malted hops and bong resin. Hey, whatever gets you through the day, man. I'm not here to judge. I myself may have partaken in the herb from time to time. But not when I'm wrestling, and that's where we're different. So you can come on out and be wild and wacky controversy guy, and I'll just be me - the man who's going to put both of you out where you belong.
Helms finally reaches the main entrance of the airport and walks outside, where a waiting taxi driver flags him down.
SH: Well kids, looks like that's my ride. Do yourselves a favor and tune into Warfare tonight if you want to see some history being made. Later!
The scene faded to black, with a reprise of his ring music and a splash screen offering up his social media accounts. For those not paying attention, YouTube autoplays the next video, "Top 30 Moves of The Hurricane Shane Helms."
The intro transitions over to the meat of the video, Helms himself walking through Indianapolis International Airport, wheeling his luggage bag behind him. The video is shot selfie-style, and appears to be Helms shooting himself with his phone - whether he's using a selfie stick is unclear. He wears a black t-shirt emblazoned with a Carolina Panthers logo, under a nondescript gray hoodie, his signature black skullcap covering his head. He begins to speak.
Shane Helms: Several weeks ago, I came to a crossroads in my life. I felt there was still some unfinished business for me out here on the road, that business being the EBWF World Heavyweight Championship. And I had to pose some tough questions to myself. Do I still have it? Can I come back and still be at that upper tier level that I always knew I was? And will things be any different? Heh... things, things will never be different. So long as Wes Ikeda is in charge, things will never be different. I'm not sure what I was thinking. Maybe I thought enough years had gone by, and the industry had moved to a new place, one where hard work and talent was rewarded rather than relegated to midcard squabbles. But it's not any different. Ikeda took the number 30 slot in the Royal Rumble for himself, and took the Rumble, and the World Title shot at WrestleMania where he gets to fight one of his good ol boys for a big payday and everybody leaves happy. And you know what? That's fine. Grab-assy politics was never really my thing. They can have their big WrestleMania moment. Me? Well, tonight I'm headed to the Conseco Fieldhouse, or whatever they've changed the name to this week, and I've got a triple threat match with a couple of legends... and Syxx. And if I have to put a couple of guys in their place to get a shot at Jericho for his "other" title, and show all of you just where I still stand in this whole crazy thing, then that's what I'll do.
SH: Bret Hart. I feel for ya, man. I really do. You came back for the Rumble just like I did, and that's admirable. But I haven't seen a fire in you. I haven't seen a true spark in you since the Screwjob, and that was what, 20 years ago? I'm glad that you want to show you can still go, but you can't. I'm sorry to break that news to you, buddy, but it's the truth. Don't be a Ric Flair. Don't be a TNA-era Hogan, hobbling around the ring trying to get all your shit in for one last cheap pop. It's not a good look for you. Go home. Rest your knees, play with your grandkids, live a life of luxury and happiness knowing that you were once the best. I'm begging you, man, don't make me do what I have to do if we get into the ring tonight.
SH: And Syxx. Man, I tried to watch your fan question segment, and I just couldn't do it. I don't know what you're doing. I don't know what direction you're going in. I really don't know what or who I'm working with here. Everything you say and do is a hot mess, but maybe you like it that way. Seems like you've been that way for a lot of years. It's always seems like if the rest of the wrestling world was using 10% of their brain you were using... one and a half percent. The rest is clogged with malted hops and bong resin. Hey, whatever gets you through the day, man. I'm not here to judge. I myself may have partaken in the herb from time to time. But not when I'm wrestling, and that's where we're different. So you can come on out and be wild and wacky controversy guy, and I'll just be me - the man who's going to put both of you out where you belong.
Helms finally reaches the main entrance of the airport and walks outside, where a waiting taxi driver flags him down.
SH: Well kids, looks like that's my ride. Do yourselves a favor and tune into Warfare tonight if you want to see some history being made. Later!
The scene faded to black, with a reprise of his ring music and a splash screen offering up his social media accounts. For those not paying attention, YouTube autoplays the next video, "Top 30 Moves of The Hurricane Shane Helms."