Nighty Night's With Layla El!
Posted: Sun Jul 15, 2012 4:22 pm
It had been another notch in the belt for the current EBWF Sky High Champion Layla El, as she was able to outlast both Brooke Tessmacher and Maria at King of the Ring to retain her title. Layla was one of the most consistent divas on the roster, and EBWF higher-ups knew every time she was booked, that they were going to get a major league effort out of her. In recent weeks, Layla had really seemed to hit her stride, growing comfortable in her gimmick with Kaientai, but more than that, she seemed back to herself in the ring as well. She was in the best shape of her life, and all her hard work was without question paying off. In her personal life, her and Mike Mizanin continued what was a blossoming relationship, still very much in the honeymoon phase, but growing more and more real everyday. She was falling in love with him, and with every week, that passed by her guard went down a little more. For once in Layla's life, there wasn't one thing that would keep her from being 100 percent happy.
The scene opened up at The Will Rogers World Airport in Oklahoma City, OK. A flight had just come in and passengers began to file into the airport one by one. After about 20 people, Layla El and Mike Mizanin were spotted. Mike wore a Cleveland Indians baseball cap with the brim down low, and he put his sunglasses in his white abercrombie polo, he wore a pair of blue fitted jeans and nice dress shoes. Layla wore a light blue and white striped short sleeve top and dark blue denim shorts, she had her designer sunglasses on top of her head. They weren't off the plane for two seconds when paparazzi was seen snapping pictures of them, and yelling at the couple.
Paparazzi #1: Mike, Layla! Look over here! Are you returning soon Mike? What are you waiting for!? Layla where's Kaientai!? Does Mike get jealous that you spend so much time with them?
Mike and Layla kept walking, Mike had to smirk at the last question. He turned to the paparazzi guy.
Mike Mizanin: Oh I definitely get jealous.. I heard Funaki is great in bed.
Paparazzi #2: You heard? Or you know?
Mike didn't respond, he laughed at the question and shook his head as if to say "not bad, not bad." Impressed with the quick witty response, to his original sarcastic comment. Layla slapped Mike playfully on the chest, for engaging them at all. Mike spoke quietly to her.
Mike Mizanin: I guess the baseball cap didn't help. It's crazy it always seems to work for CM Punk, guy goes everywhere and the baseball cap seems to make him invisible.
Layla El: Yeah, and you'd think he'd be a paparazzi's dream considering he'd never bite his tongue.
Paparazzi #1: What was that about tongue?! How about a kiss.. throw in some tongue!
Mike smiled again, Layla looked horrified at the rude and inappropriate nature of the comment. For some reason Mike was getting a kick out of these guys.
Layla El: What are you laughing at? They are gross!
Mike Mizanin: Oh come on they are harmless, and probably virgins. They probably just want to see the right way to do it, just in case their 40's are the year it finally happens for them.
Layla offered a weak smile, she usually embraced being in the public eye, but for whatever reason she looked tired and not in the mood for it in this particular moment. Mike sensed this.
Mike Mizanin: Hey, you alright?
Layla El: Yeah yeah I'm fine, I'm just exhausted and sometimes this is just a little much.
Mike Mizanin: Well my return to EBWF has been rumored for weeks now, I wish they'd just go ahead and pull the trigger already. I'm back on the travel schedule, my minds right, my body's right.. not really sure what the hold up is at this point, but until I'm back on TV I have a feeling the paparazzi and dirt sheet guys are going to be at every airport.
Layla nodded, she understood, that Mike's LOA was abrupt and confused many wrestling fans, being that at one point he seemed to have the company in the palm of his hands. He dropped the belt, and he was gone seemingly in one swift motion. With his return pending, and hints being dropped on twitter about his coming back, the question each week became.. "is this the show?" Apparently for both fans and Mike himself, alike.
Layla El: Let's just get out of here and get back to the room, I have a headache. I need to meet up with Sho and Taka later on, gotta film a segment for Warfare. I got Maria again for the Sky High Title, this time one on one. Since Brooke seems to be having a mental breakdown, I think they are forgoing trying to make it about the 3 of us. Speaking of mental breakdowns, I might have one if they snap one more picture of us. How many do they friggin need?
Mike nodded he turned the paparazzi guys.
Mike Mizanin: That's enough for today huh guys? You're not even shooting my good side, aw heck who am I kidding? I don't have a bad side.
Paparazzi #2: You kind of look queer from this angle, but I don't know it might be the camera, or the button up you have on..
Clearly he was just trying to get a reaction out of Mike, but Mike was not a loose cannon, at least off camera. He shook his head as if to say "nice one." Layla and Mike finally made it to the front of the airport, they walked out of the doors. Waiting for them with a sign that said Mike Mizanin and Layla El, was a limo driver dressed in all black. Mike threw his backs in the trunk, and took Layla's from her and put them in with his. They both got into the limo as paparazzi snapped pictures, all the way up until the door was shut, and the limo drove off into the distance.
The scene faded in to the EBWF logo. Our scene today was a very colorful bedroom with a twin sized barbie bed in the middle of the shot. There were stuffed animals all over the room, and the walls were splashed with bright pinks, yellows, and baby blues. There was also a fine collection of My Little Ponies lining a book shelf off to the right of the bed. From the left of the bed the bedroom door swung open, and in bounced Layla El. She wore Dora the Explorer footie pajamas and her hair was placed in pig tails. It was clear right away that she was mocking Maria and taking it even to a higher level. Layla belly flopped onto her head, like kids do, and put her head into her hands with her head facing the foot of the bed. Her Sky High Title sat at the head of the bed. Before her mouth moved, her voice was heard, making it seem at first like we were going into her mind. When her mouth moved quickly to catch-up, the viewers quickly realized that, as was the way of Kaientai, she simply missed her cue.
Layla El: (voice over) What a wong day of hop scotch and drawing stick figure pictures of my famiwy I just had. I'm all tuckered out.
She gave a less than stellar fake yawn. She then began to elaborate on what exactly we were watching. She spoke in a baby voice replacing all her "L's and R's" when appropriate with "W's"
Layla El: (voice over) Now I'm sure you're all wondering why I've awowed you to come into my wittle woom... since it's the one place wittle old me gets to be alone, but wuckily for you I'm going to tell you. You see I saw wast week that Mawia came out here and hosted a wittle bed time show called Bed Time Talk With Mawia... where she talked to her stuffed animals and she pwetended that they were me and Bwooke Tessmacher. I don't know why, but ever since I faced her last week, I've started to feel just wike her. Wike the only way to weally get my message out there, was to communicate to the fans just wike she does. SO I thought to myself Waywa you have a bed.. you have stuffed animals, why don't you do the same thing, except better? Because obviouswy anything I do will be better than anything Mawia does.
Suddenly from off screen a familiar voice was heard.
Off Screen: INDEED!
Layla smiled almost breaking character, it was clear she didn't expect that. She didn't even acknowledge it.
Layla El: (voice over) So this is the first, and probably the only ever addition of Nighty Nighty's wid Sky High Champion Waywa El. I'm hoping after I beat her again on Monday, the need to invite you into my bedwoom will wear off quickwy, I suspect it will. The first thing I'm going to do before we bring out our guests is write in my diawy, because I have awot of thoughts that I'm just dying to get onto the pages of my Powy Pocket notebook. Fowow me ok?
Off Screen: INDEED!
Layla went under her bed and grabbed as she said, a Polly Pocket notebook. She had a pencil with a pink fluff ball at the end of it. She began to write and her words were heard.
Layla El: (voice over) Dear Diawy, the first thing I want to do before I start witing this entwy, is learn how to talk so I don't sound like a wittle baby.. so give me one second.
All of a sudden a montage broke out, where Taka and Funaki raced into the room wearing black t-shirts that read "Speech Coaches" in white letters. The song "Call Me Maybe" by Carly Rae Jespen was heard and the screen appeared as if it was being fast forwarded. Through the montage you could see Taka and Funaki pantomiming that she needed to project more. They also held up signs one of which read "wittle= little" Layla inaudibly read the signs, and at first Taka and Funaki appeared frustrated with her answers, but as Carly Rae got further into her call requests, Layla's inaudible reading pleased her two coaches. After about a minute hugs were given and Kaientai left the room. Layla began to write once again
Layla El: (voice over) There we go much better.. now I'm ready to really start. Dear diary, the first thing I want to do today is talk about my last match, at King of the Ring I faced Brooke Tessmacher and Maria. The winner of the match diary, was obviously "little old me" Layla El. Oh shucks it was so magical, I came out into the match, butterflies all in my little tummy, and good golly I won! I was the Sky High Champion before the match, and goody goody gumdrops, after the match I still was the Sky High Champion. It was probably because the other girls in the match, and don't tell them I said this but.. oh what am I saying.. they'll never read this.. at least I won't show it to them, they might steal it and read it, if they wanna be big big meany heads... he he! But as I was saying, I won the match not only because I'm an awesome wrestler, because I so totally am... but I also won the match because well both Brooke Tessmacher and Maria are really really not that talented in the wrestling ring to say the least he he he! They kind of stink even Peeee Youuuu! Oh wait diary.. my friend Funaki just walked in.. I think he wants to say something..
Funaki had walked into the background of the scene. He now wore spiderman footie PJ's he plopped himself down on the bed next to Layla, who gave him the pen. He wrote on the page.
Funaki: (voice over) INDEED.
He then gave the pencil back to Layla and smiled, Layla smiled right back at him. Layla began to write once again, and Funaki had his head in his hands just like she did.
Layla El: (voice over) So diary you'll never get what happens next.. luckily for you, you won't have to.. especially since you're a notebook and can't talk to guess. You don't even have a brain to help you think of a guess, which makes you exactly like Maria! Speaking of Maria, diary, that's what happened next! Not only am I a good wrestler.. I also rock at transitions..GO ME!
Funaki took the pencil from Layla and wrote.
Funaki: (voice over) INDEED!
He gave the pencil back to Layla.
Layla El: (voice over) For some reason, diary, I'm facing Maria AGAIN this Monday Night at Warfare for my Sky High Title. It's really really confusing, because I thought I made it pretty clear at King of the Ring that Maria was not even close to being as good as me. I don't see how a rematch is going to change that, especially a rematch that's just one on one! I mean at least in the triple threat match, there's a chance of me being like.. distracted or something, or even one of my opponents pinning the other.. because like.. let's face it.. nobody is pinning me because I rule he he! But in a one on one match, it's like sooo unfairsies for Maria. We're one on one which means all my attention, all my rage, and all my fury will be directed and brought down upon my one opponent, poor little Maria. I mean like diary, I like her, she's pretty, I'd go mini golfing with her and stuff, but this Monday Night she's my opponent, and like I don't want to lose.. losings for losers.. and I'm not a loser.. so even though we could be like bffl, OMG, LOL's if we weren't opponents I'm going to DHF on Monday.
Layla giggled and handed the pencil to Funaki. Funaki looked at Layla with a confused expression. It was clear that he had no idea what DHF meant. He gave Layla the pencil back, unable to agree.
Layla El: (voice over) Destroy her face.. I'm going to destroy her face on Monday.
She then handed the pencil back to Funaki who smiled. He wrote on the paper, now fully on the same page as his female cohort.
Funaki: (voice over) INDEED!
He handed the pencil back to Layla.
Layla El: (voice over) You see Diary, Maria's like all overly excited because she just got to the EBWF.. but I've been here.. this is my territory. I mean it'd be like her coming up to me trying to kick me off a slide I was using at recess, you just DON't do that. The EBWF and the Sky High Division ARE MY SLIDE, and I'm going to keep sliding my little heart out for as long as I want... and I definitely won't be done with it on Monday. So, diary, my advice to Maria is try the jungle gym, try the see saw, I can assure you that you will have a lot more fun, than you would trying to take something away from me, if you catch my drift.
She looked into the camera with a dead serious look on her face for about 3 beats. It was clear she was looking right into Maria who undoubtedly was watching. It was the first moment of this entire segment that didn't feel like Layla poking fun at Maria's kiddie cute girl gimmick. Funaki looked at Layla with an intimidated expression on his face. After the 3 beats were up.. she bopped her head and smiled shaking her pig tails from side to side.
Layla El: (voice over) He he he he!
Funaki smiled again and took the pencil from Layla. Once again he wrote on the page.
Funaki: (voice over) INDEED!
Layla patted Funaki on the back and took the pencil back once again.
Layla El: (voice over) I mean like, diary, it's kind of sad really. I mean the poor girl JUST gets here and her first two matches are against me! I mean that's like being sent to the principals office TWICE in two weeks, O-M-G I would DIE! Two straight matches to start her career that she has NO chance to win, Ouchie! I think after the match, if she's feeling up to it, which I mean she probably won't be.. because I can really get aggressive when my title's on the line.. but if she somehow is feeling up to it.. maybe the nice thing for me to do, diary would be to like buy her an ice cream or some frozen yogurt or something to say I'm sorry. I mean diary, you know me, you know I'm nice and don't want to hurt anybody, but when you stand in the way of me retaining my gold, it's like LOOK OUT! You know what I mean?.. Of course you do.. you're my diary.. and I love you he he! I hope for Maria's sake that the next match they give her is against like Brooke Tessmacher or something, because Brooke can't beat anyone, and it'd be nice for Maria to feel what it's like to win.. because quite frankly Maria has a
Layla's voice went from bubbly to completely serious once again. As she sat on her bed writing with an intense look on her face.
Layla El: (voice over) SNOWBALL'S chance in HELL of learning how that feels when she goes against me.
Layla again looked up from her notebook right into the camera. Funaki reached over timidly to take the pencil, but Layla furiously slapped his hand away. Funaki nodded as if to say "ok not while she's intense staring at the camera." Seconds later. She shook her head side to side, smiled, and gave Funaki the pencil.
Funaki: (voice over) INDEED!
He gave it back to her.
Layla El: (voice over) O-M-G L-O-L diary, I just swore. I'll definitely need to put a quarter in my swear jar after I finish this entry.. sheesh.. I don't know what's gotten into me. The bottom line is this diary, not to like brag or anything, but I'm the best thing going when it comes to females in the EBWF. I mean I got the look, I got the speed, I got the skill, I got the moves, I got it all, including the Sky High Championship. Maria, unfortunately for her, because like I said she's so totally Cool-io! Has none of that. She's a nice girl, but she just doesn't have much to offer as a wrestler, she should probably do something else, like teach pre-school, or be in pre-school and start her education over, because it's clear that the first time around didn't work too well he he! O-M-G that was SO EVIL of me to say.
Funaki nodded furiously and ripped the pencil away from Layla to anxiously write on the page.
Funaki: (voice over) INDEED!
Layla took the pencil back and concluded her diary entry.
Layla El: (voice over) So I know I've like totally gone on and on about how much I'm like looking forward to facing Maria, and showing once again how much of a dominant wrestler I am compared to her, and I know I'm not telling you anything you don't already know, but I just felt like with this being my first episode of my new super totally cool show, that it'd be nice to remind Maria of all this, just in case she had any CRAZAY ideas about beating me on Monday Night. It's always nice to give reminders, especially when you're facing someone like Maria who needs a reminder on just about everything. O-M-G I need to stop I'm being SO mean! So, diary the next time I write you, I will still be the EBWF Sky High Champion, because I rule.. and Maria drools. XOXO Gossip Girl.. I mean Layla HE HE!
PS: Now I want to watch Gossip Girl.
Funaki nodded and mouthed words to Layla.
Funaki: (voice over) INDEED!
Layla closed the diary, and locked it. She put it back under the bed.
Layla El: (voice over) Not now Funaki... maybe later. Because right now we need to bring out our first guest. Now unlike Maria's show we didn't just put faces on stuffed animals, I mean talk about LAME! We went out and got actual people! So without further ado Ladies and Gentlemen please welcome to Nighty Night's with Layla El. Evan Bourne!
Through the door came Taka Michinoku. He had on an Evan Bourne T Shirt and Evan Bourne wrestling pants and boots. He gave the two finger peace sign and had a big smile on his face. He pulled one of the small chairs that were set up at a table that two of Layla's stuffed animals were having a tea party. The camera zoomed into one of the stuffed animals, it was a raggedy Andy and he now had a frown on his face.
Raggedy Andy: (voice over) HEY SOMEONE'S SITTING THERE ASSHOLE!
Taka jumped as if the toy's voice over had scared the living daylights out of him. He nodded quickly and pushed the chair back in.
Layla El: (voice over) That's OK Evan, but you just never interrupt a tea party, Duh!
Funaki shook his head and his voice sounded exactly like Layla's when she said "duh"
Funaki: (voice over) Indeed!
Layla El: (voice over) You can go ahead and sit right there on that stool. It's for stuffed animals but it looks like it's just about the right size for you too.
Layla and Funaki began to laugh, as Taka hung his head in sadness.
Funaki: (voice over) TINY!
Layla El: (voice over) Indeed!
Taka sat down on the stool Layla spoke of. His mouth moved rapidly and his voice over sounded a lot more like Evan Bourne's than one would ever expect.
Taka Bourne: (voice over) Hey guys thanks for having me, glad I got fly on in here for this show!
Layla and Funaki looked at each other and then back at Taka.
Layla El: (voice over) Ok yeah no more stupid, air or flying references OK? We both know you're not a pilot, and maybe it seems like you can jump high, but that's only because you're so low to begin with.
Funaki's voice over inflected "yeah seriously bro, cut the shit."
Funaki: (voice over) Indeed.
Layla El: (voice over) So Evan, we brought you on the show because we know that you are quite close with Maria, and as I'm sure you know that's totally who I'm facing on Monday Night! So has she like said anything about me?
Layla twirled her pig tails to play up the fact that she was acting like a middle school girl investigating if she was being talked about behind her back.
Taka Bourne: (voice over) Well I mean not to me, she's always training or having slumber parties with her stuffed animals. She is really hoping to get to the top of the wrestling business, without even buying an airplane ticket.. HA HA!
Layla looked unamused.
Layla El: (voice over) Dude what did we JUST say?
Funaki: (voice over) INDEED.
Layla El: (voice over) Seriously man, get a clue! Like anybody could be successful just simply bashing you over your head with their gimmick.
All 3 of them looked right into the camera making you feel stupid for continuing to watch their wacky segments. This particular one then continued.
Layla El: (voice over) Alright you are just too boring to talk to, but before you go.. we need you to do one thing.
Layla went back under her bed and pulled out a paper cube. She held it out to Taka.
Layla El: (voice over) Pick a number.
Taka Bourne: (voice over) TWO!
He held up his two finger pose. Layla and Funaki rolled their eyes.
Layla El: (voice over) God you're lame.
Funaki: (voice over) Indeed.
Layla did two on the cube.
Layla El: (voice over) Pick a color.
Taka Bourne: (voice over) Red!
Layla spelled out R-E-D.
Layla El: (voice over) Favorite EBWF Diva?
Taka Bourne: (voice over) MARIA obvi, she's my girl!
Layla spelled out M-A-R-I-A, she then flipped open the flap.
Layla El: (voice over) Ooooh you're going to die before you ever kiss a girl.. SORRRY!
Funaki grabbed Taka and dragged him out of the room. Layla shook her head when Funaki returned the bed.
Layla El: (voice over) Poor guy, at least now he can focus on wrestling and not chasing around girls. Sometimes things can be a blessing in disguise. Like though it might seem really disappointing for Maria when I destroy her on Monday, it might help her find a new hobby like skipping, or ping pong, or algebra.
Layla shot a quick glance at Funaki who shook his head "no."
Layla El: (voice over) You're right probably not algebra.. anywhoo.. I think it's about time to bring out our second and final guest.. the most talked about young lady besides me on or show tonight.. miss Mariaaaa!
Taka skipped back into the scene this time wearing pink pj's a pig tails wig and bunny slippers. Layla jumped off the bed and gave Taka a big hug.
Layla El: (voice over) Ohhhh girl! I love your slippers!
Taka's mouth began to move and he was very flamboyant in his mannerisms. His voice over sounded very girly as well.
Taka: (voice over) Ohhh thanks chica! I love your feeties.. Dora rocks!
Layla looked down as if to say "these old things."
Layla El: (voice over) You are SO sweet. Sit, sit, sit.
Taka went to sit on raggedy Andy. Who's voice was heard.
Raggedy Andy: (voice over) OCCUPIED! WHAT ARE YOU BLIND, BITCH!?
Layla looked taken aback.
Layla El: (voice over) Raggedy Andy, put a quarter in the jar.
Raggedy Andy: (voice over, off screen) Blow me.
Layla El: (voice over) Fantastic. Anyway, right here is fine Rie Rie.
Taka sat down and brushed some of the hair of his wig back.
Layla El: (voice over) So Maria are you at all concerned that you could REALLY get hurt this coming Monday night when you got head to head with me?
Taka: (voice over) You know Lay, I am.. and it's like I want to just not show.. you know? But Maria is NO quitter.. I'm a fighter.
Taka threw a couple Maria-esque warm-up punches. Layla sarcastically backed away.
Layla El: (voice over) Ok easy there, Million Dollar Baby. I mean you may think you're a fighter.. but didn't you learn the first time, that when you go up against me you're just out of your league?
Taka mulled it over. 10 seconds went by and he didn't answer.
Layla El: (voice over) Maria?
Taka was startled.
Taka: (voice over) Yeah?
Layla was just appalled.
Layla El: (voice over) Ok thanks for being on the show girl!
Taka's eyes lit up.
Taka: (voice over) We're on a show!?
Funaki grabbed Taka and dragged him out of the room just as he'd done before. Layla looked into the camera and smiled.
Layla El: (voice over) Before we go, I think the only way to end this show is to have me play my OWN game.
Layla took the cube out, as Funaki sat back down on the bed.
Layla El: (voice over) Pick a number I'll pick 3 because that's what the referee will be counting on Monday Night when I pin Maria and retain my title!
One.. Two.. Three
Layla El: (voice over) A color.. gotta go with purple.. that's my favessss!
P-U-R-P-L-E
Layla El: (voice over) Favorite EBWF Diva.. that's a toughie.. but I'm going to go with.. ummm... ME.
L-A-Y-L-A. Layla flipped the flap.
Layla El: (voice over) Wow Funaki, it says. You will be the most dominate and longest reigning Sky High Champion of all time, because of the fact that on top of being extremely beautiful.. you are also incredibly
EEEEEEEEEEEVILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!
Layla scrunched her face up and got very serious. Funaki took the cube and opened another flap. He held it up to the camera and it zoomed in. It read..
"INDEEEEEEEEEEED"
The camera faded away with Layla, switching from very serious to bouncy and fun waving as the shot backed away and eventually faded to black.
The scene opened up at The Will Rogers World Airport in Oklahoma City, OK. A flight had just come in and passengers began to file into the airport one by one. After about 20 people, Layla El and Mike Mizanin were spotted. Mike wore a Cleveland Indians baseball cap with the brim down low, and he put his sunglasses in his white abercrombie polo, he wore a pair of blue fitted jeans and nice dress shoes. Layla wore a light blue and white striped short sleeve top and dark blue denim shorts, she had her designer sunglasses on top of her head. They weren't off the plane for two seconds when paparazzi was seen snapping pictures of them, and yelling at the couple.
Paparazzi #1: Mike, Layla! Look over here! Are you returning soon Mike? What are you waiting for!? Layla where's Kaientai!? Does Mike get jealous that you spend so much time with them?
Mike and Layla kept walking, Mike had to smirk at the last question. He turned to the paparazzi guy.
Mike Mizanin: Oh I definitely get jealous.. I heard Funaki is great in bed.
Paparazzi #2: You heard? Or you know?
Mike didn't respond, he laughed at the question and shook his head as if to say "not bad, not bad." Impressed with the quick witty response, to his original sarcastic comment. Layla slapped Mike playfully on the chest, for engaging them at all. Mike spoke quietly to her.
Mike Mizanin: I guess the baseball cap didn't help. It's crazy it always seems to work for CM Punk, guy goes everywhere and the baseball cap seems to make him invisible.
Layla El: Yeah, and you'd think he'd be a paparazzi's dream considering he'd never bite his tongue.
Paparazzi #1: What was that about tongue?! How about a kiss.. throw in some tongue!
Mike smiled again, Layla looked horrified at the rude and inappropriate nature of the comment. For some reason Mike was getting a kick out of these guys.
Layla El: What are you laughing at? They are gross!
Mike Mizanin: Oh come on they are harmless, and probably virgins. They probably just want to see the right way to do it, just in case their 40's are the year it finally happens for them.
Layla offered a weak smile, she usually embraced being in the public eye, but for whatever reason she looked tired and not in the mood for it in this particular moment. Mike sensed this.
Mike Mizanin: Hey, you alright?
Layla El: Yeah yeah I'm fine, I'm just exhausted and sometimes this is just a little much.
Mike Mizanin: Well my return to EBWF has been rumored for weeks now, I wish they'd just go ahead and pull the trigger already. I'm back on the travel schedule, my minds right, my body's right.. not really sure what the hold up is at this point, but until I'm back on TV I have a feeling the paparazzi and dirt sheet guys are going to be at every airport.
Layla nodded, she understood, that Mike's LOA was abrupt and confused many wrestling fans, being that at one point he seemed to have the company in the palm of his hands. He dropped the belt, and he was gone seemingly in one swift motion. With his return pending, and hints being dropped on twitter about his coming back, the question each week became.. "is this the show?" Apparently for both fans and Mike himself, alike.
Layla El: Let's just get out of here and get back to the room, I have a headache. I need to meet up with Sho and Taka later on, gotta film a segment for Warfare. I got Maria again for the Sky High Title, this time one on one. Since Brooke seems to be having a mental breakdown, I think they are forgoing trying to make it about the 3 of us. Speaking of mental breakdowns, I might have one if they snap one more picture of us. How many do they friggin need?
Mike nodded he turned the paparazzi guys.
Mike Mizanin: That's enough for today huh guys? You're not even shooting my good side, aw heck who am I kidding? I don't have a bad side.
Paparazzi #2: You kind of look queer from this angle, but I don't know it might be the camera, or the button up you have on..
Clearly he was just trying to get a reaction out of Mike, but Mike was not a loose cannon, at least off camera. He shook his head as if to say "nice one." Layla and Mike finally made it to the front of the airport, they walked out of the doors. Waiting for them with a sign that said Mike Mizanin and Layla El, was a limo driver dressed in all black. Mike threw his backs in the trunk, and took Layla's from her and put them in with his. They both got into the limo as paparazzi snapped pictures, all the way up until the door was shut, and the limo drove off into the distance.
The scene faded in to the EBWF logo. Our scene today was a very colorful bedroom with a twin sized barbie bed in the middle of the shot. There were stuffed animals all over the room, and the walls were splashed with bright pinks, yellows, and baby blues. There was also a fine collection of My Little Ponies lining a book shelf off to the right of the bed. From the left of the bed the bedroom door swung open, and in bounced Layla El. She wore Dora the Explorer footie pajamas and her hair was placed in pig tails. It was clear right away that she was mocking Maria and taking it even to a higher level. Layla belly flopped onto her head, like kids do, and put her head into her hands with her head facing the foot of the bed. Her Sky High Title sat at the head of the bed. Before her mouth moved, her voice was heard, making it seem at first like we were going into her mind. When her mouth moved quickly to catch-up, the viewers quickly realized that, as was the way of Kaientai, she simply missed her cue.
Layla El: (voice over) What a wong day of hop scotch and drawing stick figure pictures of my famiwy I just had. I'm all tuckered out.
She gave a less than stellar fake yawn. She then began to elaborate on what exactly we were watching. She spoke in a baby voice replacing all her "L's and R's" when appropriate with "W's"
Layla El: (voice over) Now I'm sure you're all wondering why I've awowed you to come into my wittle woom... since it's the one place wittle old me gets to be alone, but wuckily for you I'm going to tell you. You see I saw wast week that Mawia came out here and hosted a wittle bed time show called Bed Time Talk With Mawia... where she talked to her stuffed animals and she pwetended that they were me and Bwooke Tessmacher. I don't know why, but ever since I faced her last week, I've started to feel just wike her. Wike the only way to weally get my message out there, was to communicate to the fans just wike she does. SO I thought to myself Waywa you have a bed.. you have stuffed animals, why don't you do the same thing, except better? Because obviouswy anything I do will be better than anything Mawia does.
Suddenly from off screen a familiar voice was heard.
Off Screen: INDEED!
Layla smiled almost breaking character, it was clear she didn't expect that. She didn't even acknowledge it.
Layla El: (voice over) So this is the first, and probably the only ever addition of Nighty Nighty's wid Sky High Champion Waywa El. I'm hoping after I beat her again on Monday, the need to invite you into my bedwoom will wear off quickwy, I suspect it will. The first thing I'm going to do before we bring out our guests is write in my diawy, because I have awot of thoughts that I'm just dying to get onto the pages of my Powy Pocket notebook. Fowow me ok?
Off Screen: INDEED!
Layla went under her bed and grabbed as she said, a Polly Pocket notebook. She had a pencil with a pink fluff ball at the end of it. She began to write and her words were heard.
Layla El: (voice over) Dear Diawy, the first thing I want to do before I start witing this entwy, is learn how to talk so I don't sound like a wittle baby.. so give me one second.
All of a sudden a montage broke out, where Taka and Funaki raced into the room wearing black t-shirts that read "Speech Coaches" in white letters. The song "Call Me Maybe" by Carly Rae Jespen was heard and the screen appeared as if it was being fast forwarded. Through the montage you could see Taka and Funaki pantomiming that she needed to project more. They also held up signs one of which read "wittle= little" Layla inaudibly read the signs, and at first Taka and Funaki appeared frustrated with her answers, but as Carly Rae got further into her call requests, Layla's inaudible reading pleased her two coaches. After about a minute hugs were given and Kaientai left the room. Layla began to write once again
Layla El: (voice over) There we go much better.. now I'm ready to really start. Dear diary, the first thing I want to do today is talk about my last match, at King of the Ring I faced Brooke Tessmacher and Maria. The winner of the match diary, was obviously "little old me" Layla El. Oh shucks it was so magical, I came out into the match, butterflies all in my little tummy, and good golly I won! I was the Sky High Champion before the match, and goody goody gumdrops, after the match I still was the Sky High Champion. It was probably because the other girls in the match, and don't tell them I said this but.. oh what am I saying.. they'll never read this.. at least I won't show it to them, they might steal it and read it, if they wanna be big big meany heads... he he! But as I was saying, I won the match not only because I'm an awesome wrestler, because I so totally am... but I also won the match because well both Brooke Tessmacher and Maria are really really not that talented in the wrestling ring to say the least he he he! They kind of stink even Peeee Youuuu! Oh wait diary.. my friend Funaki just walked in.. I think he wants to say something..
Funaki had walked into the background of the scene. He now wore spiderman footie PJ's he plopped himself down on the bed next to Layla, who gave him the pen. He wrote on the page.
Funaki: (voice over) INDEED.
He then gave the pencil back to Layla and smiled, Layla smiled right back at him. Layla began to write once again, and Funaki had his head in his hands just like she did.
Layla El: (voice over) So diary you'll never get what happens next.. luckily for you, you won't have to.. especially since you're a notebook and can't talk to guess. You don't even have a brain to help you think of a guess, which makes you exactly like Maria! Speaking of Maria, diary, that's what happened next! Not only am I a good wrestler.. I also rock at transitions..GO ME!
Funaki took the pencil from Layla and wrote.
Funaki: (voice over) INDEED!
He gave the pencil back to Layla.
Layla El: (voice over) For some reason, diary, I'm facing Maria AGAIN this Monday Night at Warfare for my Sky High Title. It's really really confusing, because I thought I made it pretty clear at King of the Ring that Maria was not even close to being as good as me. I don't see how a rematch is going to change that, especially a rematch that's just one on one! I mean at least in the triple threat match, there's a chance of me being like.. distracted or something, or even one of my opponents pinning the other.. because like.. let's face it.. nobody is pinning me because I rule he he! But in a one on one match, it's like sooo unfairsies for Maria. We're one on one which means all my attention, all my rage, and all my fury will be directed and brought down upon my one opponent, poor little Maria. I mean like diary, I like her, she's pretty, I'd go mini golfing with her and stuff, but this Monday Night she's my opponent, and like I don't want to lose.. losings for losers.. and I'm not a loser.. so even though we could be like bffl, OMG, LOL's if we weren't opponents I'm going to DHF on Monday.
Layla giggled and handed the pencil to Funaki. Funaki looked at Layla with a confused expression. It was clear that he had no idea what DHF meant. He gave Layla the pencil back, unable to agree.
Layla El: (voice over) Destroy her face.. I'm going to destroy her face on Monday.
She then handed the pencil back to Funaki who smiled. He wrote on the paper, now fully on the same page as his female cohort.
Funaki: (voice over) INDEED!
He handed the pencil back to Layla.
Layla El: (voice over) You see Diary, Maria's like all overly excited because she just got to the EBWF.. but I've been here.. this is my territory. I mean it'd be like her coming up to me trying to kick me off a slide I was using at recess, you just DON't do that. The EBWF and the Sky High Division ARE MY SLIDE, and I'm going to keep sliding my little heart out for as long as I want... and I definitely won't be done with it on Monday. So, diary, my advice to Maria is try the jungle gym, try the see saw, I can assure you that you will have a lot more fun, than you would trying to take something away from me, if you catch my drift.
She looked into the camera with a dead serious look on her face for about 3 beats. It was clear she was looking right into Maria who undoubtedly was watching. It was the first moment of this entire segment that didn't feel like Layla poking fun at Maria's kiddie cute girl gimmick. Funaki looked at Layla with an intimidated expression on his face. After the 3 beats were up.. she bopped her head and smiled shaking her pig tails from side to side.
Layla El: (voice over) He he he he!
Funaki smiled again and took the pencil from Layla. Once again he wrote on the page.
Funaki: (voice over) INDEED!
Layla patted Funaki on the back and took the pencil back once again.
Layla El: (voice over) I mean like, diary, it's kind of sad really. I mean the poor girl JUST gets here and her first two matches are against me! I mean that's like being sent to the principals office TWICE in two weeks, O-M-G I would DIE! Two straight matches to start her career that she has NO chance to win, Ouchie! I think after the match, if she's feeling up to it, which I mean she probably won't be.. because I can really get aggressive when my title's on the line.. but if she somehow is feeling up to it.. maybe the nice thing for me to do, diary would be to like buy her an ice cream or some frozen yogurt or something to say I'm sorry. I mean diary, you know me, you know I'm nice and don't want to hurt anybody, but when you stand in the way of me retaining my gold, it's like LOOK OUT! You know what I mean?.. Of course you do.. you're my diary.. and I love you he he! I hope for Maria's sake that the next match they give her is against like Brooke Tessmacher or something, because Brooke can't beat anyone, and it'd be nice for Maria to feel what it's like to win.. because quite frankly Maria has a
Layla's voice went from bubbly to completely serious once again. As she sat on her bed writing with an intense look on her face.
Layla El: (voice over) SNOWBALL'S chance in HELL of learning how that feels when she goes against me.
Layla again looked up from her notebook right into the camera. Funaki reached over timidly to take the pencil, but Layla furiously slapped his hand away. Funaki nodded as if to say "ok not while she's intense staring at the camera." Seconds later. She shook her head side to side, smiled, and gave Funaki the pencil.
Funaki: (voice over) INDEED!
He gave it back to her.
Layla El: (voice over) O-M-G L-O-L diary, I just swore. I'll definitely need to put a quarter in my swear jar after I finish this entry.. sheesh.. I don't know what's gotten into me. The bottom line is this diary, not to like brag or anything, but I'm the best thing going when it comes to females in the EBWF. I mean I got the look, I got the speed, I got the skill, I got the moves, I got it all, including the Sky High Championship. Maria, unfortunately for her, because like I said she's so totally Cool-io! Has none of that. She's a nice girl, but she just doesn't have much to offer as a wrestler, she should probably do something else, like teach pre-school, or be in pre-school and start her education over, because it's clear that the first time around didn't work too well he he! O-M-G that was SO EVIL of me to say.
Funaki nodded furiously and ripped the pencil away from Layla to anxiously write on the page.
Funaki: (voice over) INDEED!
Layla took the pencil back and concluded her diary entry.
Layla El: (voice over) So I know I've like totally gone on and on about how much I'm like looking forward to facing Maria, and showing once again how much of a dominant wrestler I am compared to her, and I know I'm not telling you anything you don't already know, but I just felt like with this being my first episode of my new super totally cool show, that it'd be nice to remind Maria of all this, just in case she had any CRAZAY ideas about beating me on Monday Night. It's always nice to give reminders, especially when you're facing someone like Maria who needs a reminder on just about everything. O-M-G I need to stop I'm being SO mean! So, diary the next time I write you, I will still be the EBWF Sky High Champion, because I rule.. and Maria drools. XOXO Gossip Girl.. I mean Layla HE HE!
PS: Now I want to watch Gossip Girl.
Funaki nodded and mouthed words to Layla.
Funaki: (voice over) INDEED!
Layla closed the diary, and locked it. She put it back under the bed.
Layla El: (voice over) Not now Funaki... maybe later. Because right now we need to bring out our first guest. Now unlike Maria's show we didn't just put faces on stuffed animals, I mean talk about LAME! We went out and got actual people! So without further ado Ladies and Gentlemen please welcome to Nighty Night's with Layla El. Evan Bourne!
Through the door came Taka Michinoku. He had on an Evan Bourne T Shirt and Evan Bourne wrestling pants and boots. He gave the two finger peace sign and had a big smile on his face. He pulled one of the small chairs that were set up at a table that two of Layla's stuffed animals were having a tea party. The camera zoomed into one of the stuffed animals, it was a raggedy Andy and he now had a frown on his face.
Raggedy Andy: (voice over) HEY SOMEONE'S SITTING THERE ASSHOLE!
Taka jumped as if the toy's voice over had scared the living daylights out of him. He nodded quickly and pushed the chair back in.
Layla El: (voice over) That's OK Evan, but you just never interrupt a tea party, Duh!
Funaki shook his head and his voice sounded exactly like Layla's when she said "duh"
Funaki: (voice over) Indeed!
Layla El: (voice over) You can go ahead and sit right there on that stool. It's for stuffed animals but it looks like it's just about the right size for you too.
Layla and Funaki began to laugh, as Taka hung his head in sadness.
Funaki: (voice over) TINY!
Layla El: (voice over) Indeed!
Taka sat down on the stool Layla spoke of. His mouth moved rapidly and his voice over sounded a lot more like Evan Bourne's than one would ever expect.
Taka Bourne: (voice over) Hey guys thanks for having me, glad I got fly on in here for this show!
Layla and Funaki looked at each other and then back at Taka.
Layla El: (voice over) Ok yeah no more stupid, air or flying references OK? We both know you're not a pilot, and maybe it seems like you can jump high, but that's only because you're so low to begin with.
Funaki's voice over inflected "yeah seriously bro, cut the shit."
Funaki: (voice over) Indeed.
Layla El: (voice over) So Evan, we brought you on the show because we know that you are quite close with Maria, and as I'm sure you know that's totally who I'm facing on Monday Night! So has she like said anything about me?
Layla twirled her pig tails to play up the fact that she was acting like a middle school girl investigating if she was being talked about behind her back.
Taka Bourne: (voice over) Well I mean not to me, she's always training or having slumber parties with her stuffed animals. She is really hoping to get to the top of the wrestling business, without even buying an airplane ticket.. HA HA!
Layla looked unamused.
Layla El: (voice over) Dude what did we JUST say?
Funaki: (voice over) INDEED.
Layla El: (voice over) Seriously man, get a clue! Like anybody could be successful just simply bashing you over your head with their gimmick.
All 3 of them looked right into the camera making you feel stupid for continuing to watch their wacky segments. This particular one then continued.
Layla El: (voice over) Alright you are just too boring to talk to, but before you go.. we need you to do one thing.
Layla went back under her bed and pulled out a paper cube. She held it out to Taka.
Layla El: (voice over) Pick a number.
Taka Bourne: (voice over) TWO!
He held up his two finger pose. Layla and Funaki rolled their eyes.
Layla El: (voice over) God you're lame.
Funaki: (voice over) Indeed.
Layla did two on the cube.
Layla El: (voice over) Pick a color.
Taka Bourne: (voice over) Red!
Layla spelled out R-E-D.
Layla El: (voice over) Favorite EBWF Diva?
Taka Bourne: (voice over) MARIA obvi, she's my girl!
Layla spelled out M-A-R-I-A, she then flipped open the flap.
Layla El: (voice over) Ooooh you're going to die before you ever kiss a girl.. SORRRY!
Funaki grabbed Taka and dragged him out of the room. Layla shook her head when Funaki returned the bed.
Layla El: (voice over) Poor guy, at least now he can focus on wrestling and not chasing around girls. Sometimes things can be a blessing in disguise. Like though it might seem really disappointing for Maria when I destroy her on Monday, it might help her find a new hobby like skipping, or ping pong, or algebra.
Layla shot a quick glance at Funaki who shook his head "no."
Layla El: (voice over) You're right probably not algebra.. anywhoo.. I think it's about time to bring out our second and final guest.. the most talked about young lady besides me on or show tonight.. miss Mariaaaa!
Taka skipped back into the scene this time wearing pink pj's a pig tails wig and bunny slippers. Layla jumped off the bed and gave Taka a big hug.
Layla El: (voice over) Ohhhh girl! I love your slippers!
Taka's mouth began to move and he was very flamboyant in his mannerisms. His voice over sounded very girly as well.
Taka: (voice over) Ohhh thanks chica! I love your feeties.. Dora rocks!
Layla looked down as if to say "these old things."
Layla El: (voice over) You are SO sweet. Sit, sit, sit.
Taka went to sit on raggedy Andy. Who's voice was heard.
Raggedy Andy: (voice over) OCCUPIED! WHAT ARE YOU BLIND, BITCH!?
Layla looked taken aback.
Layla El: (voice over) Raggedy Andy, put a quarter in the jar.
Raggedy Andy: (voice over, off screen) Blow me.
Layla El: (voice over) Fantastic. Anyway, right here is fine Rie Rie.
Taka sat down and brushed some of the hair of his wig back.
Layla El: (voice over) So Maria are you at all concerned that you could REALLY get hurt this coming Monday night when you got head to head with me?
Taka: (voice over) You know Lay, I am.. and it's like I want to just not show.. you know? But Maria is NO quitter.. I'm a fighter.
Taka threw a couple Maria-esque warm-up punches. Layla sarcastically backed away.
Layla El: (voice over) Ok easy there, Million Dollar Baby. I mean you may think you're a fighter.. but didn't you learn the first time, that when you go up against me you're just out of your league?
Taka mulled it over. 10 seconds went by and he didn't answer.
Layla El: (voice over) Maria?
Taka was startled.
Taka: (voice over) Yeah?
Layla was just appalled.
Layla El: (voice over) Ok thanks for being on the show girl!
Taka's eyes lit up.
Taka: (voice over) We're on a show!?
Funaki grabbed Taka and dragged him out of the room just as he'd done before. Layla looked into the camera and smiled.
Layla El: (voice over) Before we go, I think the only way to end this show is to have me play my OWN game.
Layla took the cube out, as Funaki sat back down on the bed.
Layla El: (voice over) Pick a number I'll pick 3 because that's what the referee will be counting on Monday Night when I pin Maria and retain my title!
One.. Two.. Three
Layla El: (voice over) A color.. gotta go with purple.. that's my favessss!
P-U-R-P-L-E
Layla El: (voice over) Favorite EBWF Diva.. that's a toughie.. but I'm going to go with.. ummm... ME.
L-A-Y-L-A. Layla flipped the flap.
Layla El: (voice over) Wow Funaki, it says. You will be the most dominate and longest reigning Sky High Champion of all time, because of the fact that on top of being extremely beautiful.. you are also incredibly
EEEEEEEEEEEVILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!
Layla scrunched her face up and got very serious. Funaki took the cube and opened another flap. He held it up to the camera and it zoomed in. It read..
"INDEEEEEEEEEEED"
The camera faded away with Layla, switching from very serious to bouncy and fun waving as the shot backed away and eventually faded to black.