As You All Know
Posted: Mon May 30, 2016 11:17 am
The Miz had been off TV for the past month, in what many people considered a "licking of his wounds" so to speak. Just 4 months prior The Miz was on top of the world, until it all- as it often does in the business of the EBWF- changed in the blink of an eye. With Vertex being no more- success had been few and far between for the former Grand Slam Champion. As the EBWF entered its King of the Ring tournament- a tournament that The Miz had never performed well in- he knew it was as good a time as any to get back on track. The one thing about The Miz that though his in ring success had had ebbs and flows- there were few people in the business that were able to right the ship and find a way back into the limelight, as well as he did. His big chance to regain his footing, would come in the form of a one on one match up with the lunatic fringe Dean Ambrose. The Miz knew that one thing was for certain- if he was going to move on to the next round of the KOTR tourney- he was going to have to endure the fight of his life.
The scene opened up in Greensboro, North Carolina- the site of EBWF Death Before Dishonor. We were on a street right by where the arena was as we could see it in the back drop. The camera quickly whipped around and picked up The Miz and Alex Riley. The Miz was wearing his new t-shirt (available on EBWFshop.com) a black with red letters T- shirt that said "If you're reading this." On the front- and "I'm better than you." On the Back. Alex Riley wore a white button up, and both men wore gray jeans and white sneakers. A conversation that the two men were having was picked up as the camera got closer.
The Miz: I don't care.. no I don't care.. listen crazy is a word that gets tossed around too much in this business.. so like who really gives a shit?
Alex Riley: I don't know Miz.. like his eyes will like bug out of his head sometimes.
The Miz: You mean like this?
The Miz did his best bug eyed crazy look.
Alex Riley: Exactly like that. Do you feel crazy?
The Miz: I mean, kind of.
Alex Riley: Do you feel tougher?
The Miz: No I just feel kind of stupid. That's my point, I mean I don't think he's going to be tougher JUST because he acts crazy. If anything he probably IS stupid.. so he just acts crazy to like make everyone else forget that he actually is really really dumb. The thing that is for absolute certain though, is that he's crazy AND dumb.. if he thinks that A.) any of his antics are going to even going to rattle or intimidate me at all... and B.) If he thinks that he has a prayer of moving on in this tournament. Alex, there isn't a lot I've sucked at.. like hardly anything.. I'm pretty much great at everything.. wrestling.. scuba diving... dancing.. being amazing.. but the one thing that I've really sucked at in my career.. is winning in the King of the Ring tournament. I mean it's like someone like say... you.. climbs into my body and fights for me in this tournament.. and I've lost pretty consistently in the first round. So the point is, I'm now thinking to myself "Czar of Awesome"
There was a beat.
The Miz: That's what I refer to myself as.
Alex Riley: Didn't even bat an eyelash man.
The Miz: "Czar of Awesome" how the heck can someone.. I mean.. so awesome.
The Miz pointed to himself.
The Miz: Be so CONSISTENTLY terrible in this tournament- and when it comes to an answer- I still haven't found one.. but I have found a solution. My plan.. are you ready?
Alex Riley: Ready Miz.
The Miz: Is to stop being terrible- and just be incredible instead.
Alex Riley: That is a GREAT plan.
The Miz smirked.
The Miz: You see my incredible- is better than anyone else's incredible.. shit my like average is better than anyone else's incredible.. but still. Dean Ambrose, may think that he's somehow going to get the KOTR Miz- that lost to jamoaks like Jay Briscoe in the past- but the fact of the matter is THAT IS NOT who he's going to see at Death Before Dishonor.. and if he thinks it is.. he clearly didn't listen to the fool proof plan I just laid out 10 seconds ago.
Alex Riley: He probably didn't listen Miz.. he's too busy like skinning cats.. or ordering large coffees so he can be extra twitchy for Sunday.
The Miz laughed.
The Miz: Not bad..
Alex Riley: Thanks.
The Miz: Dean Ambrose is and has always been one of those guys I don't get. I mean he came in with the Shield- and you know I got what they were going for. They were kinda aloof.. mysterious.. they liked to go to dark alley's together.. on camera.. you know and off. They liked to wet their hair in the shower together.. you know on camera.. and off. There was a lot of Fist action going on.. on camera.. and off.
Riley laughed.
Alex Riley: Fist action?
The Miz extended his fist out in front of him like the Shield used to.
Alex Riley: OHHHH.. yeah.. I love fist action!
Alex extended his out towards Miz'. Miz quickly pulled his arm back.
The Miz: Alright relax.. but yeah I mean the whole Shield thing.. it was kinda lame.. ok it was really lame.. but it at least made sense. They were the Shield- the HOUNDS OF JUSTICE- they were tough.. they.. couldn't find the entrance ramp. Now since the Shield no longer exists Ambrose has all of a sudden just lost his freaking mind. He's like Hardcore Holly on speed.. just running around smashing his head off stuff. Being the Lunatic Fringe! OHH NO! Not the LUNATIC FRINGE! The fact is Al.. this lunatic is on the fringe of having his career be over.. because I mean it.. when I say that I'm not going to lose in another first round of the King of the Ring tournament. I'm as close to royalty as this company has- there's really no reason why I shouldn't be declared "King of the Ring."
Alex Riley: Are you saying that you are below a King?
The Miz: No you idiot, I'm obviously above a King.
Alex Riley: Like an emperor?
The Miz: No- and stop guessing- I don't even have a title- because nobody is smart enough to come up with a word for just how high I am in the hierarchy of life. I'm The Miz.. period.. end of sentence. So I mean the term King will definitely be downplaying- how good I am in the ring- but hey at least I'll get to wear a crown.
Alex nodded.
Alex Riley: True.. crowns are awesome.
The Miz: Dean Ambrose is like one of the minions that powerful people have in the movies. You know like running around doing the leaders billing.. slobbering all over himself. Imagine one of those minions being King.. just a ridiculous image. Dean Ambrose is gonna spin off this planet- he's heading towards a loony bin- he's not heading towards becoming The King of the Ring. I mean really.. can you imagine.. King Dean Ambrose.. he'd like grab the crown and like starting hitting himself with it. Then he finally would put the crown on, and it would keep falling off his head every time he twitched like the neurotic not dangerous psycho that he is. That's the thing right there- Dean Ambrose- I'll give it to him- he may be a psycho. Like there you go.. Dean Ambrose is a psycho.. congratulations.. but he's not the psycho that you are like legit scared of. He's not the psycho that makes you think you're about to be physically decimated and destroyed because he's so deranged. He's the type of psycho that like if he had a winning power ball ticket.. he might just rip it up and eat it.. just because he felt like it.. like he's not dangerous.. he's just a freaking moron. The difference.. well one of the many differences between The Miz and Dean Ambrose.. is being The Miz Al.. being the Miz.. IS like having a winning lottery ticket- and I'm not going to rip it up and eat it. I'm going to continue to cash in on it, like I've done for my entire career. I'm not going to let someone like Dean Ambrose come in and cash it in for me. This Sunday at Death Before Dishonor- I'm going to take that first step towards winning this tournament- over the past month I've done a lot of thinking- and I can't see a better way to make a statement then to win King of the Ring- because it's something I haven't done in my career- and as EVERYONE knows.. there isn't a whole lot of things on that list. Dean Ambrose is NOT going to keep me from FINALLY checking the win King of the Ring box- off my to do list. Especially when his to do list is like.. put "my hand on a hot stove, growl at children playing at recess, and rock back and forth while sitting in a puddle." The one thing he should add to that list.. is "try not to get beaten to death by The Miz." No guarantees he's going to be able to achieve that goal though Al.
Alex Riley: You mean your going to kill him?
The Miz: Why when I hear you say that- the first thing that comes to mind is like you need to add an apostrophe "R-E" to your.
Alex Riley: Umm.. I don't know.. because I suck at grammar?
The Miz: Might be it- but I mean- no I'm not actually going to commit murder.. because if I'm in jail- I won't be able to wear my crown.. but I do feel as though I may decimate him to the point that he wishes he was dead.. if he doesn't already.. I mean he does have to wake up everyday and be Dean Ambrose..
Alex Riley: True.. that's gotta blow.
The camera had been shooting this conversation fairly close up, but when it panned out, it revealed that Riley and Miz were walking towards and now were entering the arena. The camera followed them inside the building. Miz gave a couple of fist bumps to some behind the scenes guys upon entering.
EBWF Employee: Great party last night bro!
The Miz: Hey thanks man!
Alex Riley: Who was that?
The Miz responded under his breath so that only Riley could hear him.
The Miz: No idea- and if someone that uncool ever shows up to another one of my parties again.. you're fired.
Alex Riley: Sounds good.
Miz and Riley walked for several beats in silence when they finally came to the curtain. A producer was relieved to see Miz.
Producer: Just in time- you ready?
The Miz: I'm always ready...
There was a pause.
Producer: Dan.. I was at your party last night.
The Miz: Right right of course.. I was just kidding Dave.
Producer: Dan.
The Miz: Ah.. got you again.
Dan laughed uncomfortably. Miz walked through the curtain.. but before he did he motioned a thumb across his neck ala the Undertaker- towards Alex Riley.. The camera stayed on Dan and Riley. Dan looked at Alex confused.. Riley looked angry.
Alex Riley: Nice going Stan..
The camera quickly panned away to the arena where a house show was taking place. A match had just concluded and all of a sudden "AWEEEEESOMEEEEEEE" followed by "I Came To Play" by Downstait was heard throughout the arena. There was a loud chorus of boos from the Greensboro crowd, as The Miz sauntered to the ring. He went through his usual brash and arrogant entrance as he climbed in between the ropes and requested a microphone- it was a request that was granted by the time keeper. The Miz squinted unimpressed by the raucous negative reaction.
The Miz: Really?
More boos from the crowd.
The Miz: Really? After all this time? You morons are still gonna sit there and boo your brains out- "booooo- we don't like Miz. BOOO.." Real original guys- fortunately I'm not out here tonight to talk about you.. I'm out here to talk about something way better and more interesting... me.
The Miz smiled and the crowd booed even louder.
The Miz: You see this Sunday in the main event of Death Before Dishonor- I'm going to crack the curious case of Dean Ambrose. You see right now- nobody can seem to figure this guy out. Nobody can seem to understand what makes him so deranged- what makes him so detached from the rest of the world. This Sunday- I'm going to be the private eye- I'm going to solve this great mystery. Except.. I don't even need to wait until Sunday to figure this one out.. Dean Ambrose is so deranged- he's so angry- he's seemingly so upset- because he's a PROFESSIONAL WRESTLER.. and HE SUCKS at WRESTLING..
The crowd booed as Miz feigned a shocked look on his face.
The Miz: MY GOD! THE MIZ IS A GENIUS- He's cracked a question that was on everyone's brain since we met Dean Ambrose! I mean think about it- imagine what it'd be like if you were a chef- and you sucked at cooking. Or like an accountant and you were bad at math.. I mean really... imagine sucking at your jobs... well I guess none of you actually have to imagine that since you all undoubtedly do suck at your jobs..
More boos. The Miz smirked.
The Miz: Yeah I mean listen to you.. me pointing that out made you guys all a bit hot under the collar didn't it. That's how it feels to be Dean Ambrose- that's why he's fit for a straight jacket- because he knows that he's living a lie... he knows that he is a big time fraud in every way possible. He's so twitchy and anxiety ridden because he probably loses sleep over the fact that you idiots think he's this crazy killing machine.. but really he's just an underwhelming side show freak who sucks at the one thing he's supposed to be good at. Fortunately, for Dean Ambrose- The Miz is here to save the day. You see on Sunday- I'm going to put this imbecile out of his misery- on Sunday I'm going to knock Dean Ambrose out of the business that he just isn't mentally or physically ready to be a part of. This Sunday- I'm going to help Dean Ambrose FINALLY sleep at night- because he'll be able to get a job that suits his skill set.. you know.. like trash collector.. or homeless guy... or both. This Sunday Dean Ambrose is going to get the CRAZY knocked out of him- by yours truly..... because Greensboro, as you alll knowwwww!
I'MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM THEEEEEEEEEEEEE MIZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ ANNNNNNNNND I'MMMMMMMMMMMMM AWEEEEEEEEESOMEEEEEEEEEE!
The Miz flipped the microphone to the mat and "I Came To Play" was heard once again as The Miz exited the ring and the scene faded to black.
The scene opened up in Greensboro, North Carolina- the site of EBWF Death Before Dishonor. We were on a street right by where the arena was as we could see it in the back drop. The camera quickly whipped around and picked up The Miz and Alex Riley. The Miz was wearing his new t-shirt (available on EBWFshop.com) a black with red letters T- shirt that said "If you're reading this." On the front- and "I'm better than you." On the Back. Alex Riley wore a white button up, and both men wore gray jeans and white sneakers. A conversation that the two men were having was picked up as the camera got closer.
The Miz: I don't care.. no I don't care.. listen crazy is a word that gets tossed around too much in this business.. so like who really gives a shit?
Alex Riley: I don't know Miz.. like his eyes will like bug out of his head sometimes.
The Miz: You mean like this?
The Miz did his best bug eyed crazy look.
Alex Riley: Exactly like that. Do you feel crazy?
The Miz: I mean, kind of.
Alex Riley: Do you feel tougher?
The Miz: No I just feel kind of stupid. That's my point, I mean I don't think he's going to be tougher JUST because he acts crazy. If anything he probably IS stupid.. so he just acts crazy to like make everyone else forget that he actually is really really dumb. The thing that is for absolute certain though, is that he's crazy AND dumb.. if he thinks that A.) any of his antics are going to even going to rattle or intimidate me at all... and B.) If he thinks that he has a prayer of moving on in this tournament. Alex, there isn't a lot I've sucked at.. like hardly anything.. I'm pretty much great at everything.. wrestling.. scuba diving... dancing.. being amazing.. but the one thing that I've really sucked at in my career.. is winning in the King of the Ring tournament. I mean it's like someone like say... you.. climbs into my body and fights for me in this tournament.. and I've lost pretty consistently in the first round. So the point is, I'm now thinking to myself "Czar of Awesome"
There was a beat.
The Miz: That's what I refer to myself as.
Alex Riley: Didn't even bat an eyelash man.
The Miz: "Czar of Awesome" how the heck can someone.. I mean.. so awesome.
The Miz pointed to himself.
The Miz: Be so CONSISTENTLY terrible in this tournament- and when it comes to an answer- I still haven't found one.. but I have found a solution. My plan.. are you ready?
Alex Riley: Ready Miz.
The Miz: Is to stop being terrible- and just be incredible instead.
Alex Riley: That is a GREAT plan.
The Miz smirked.
The Miz: You see my incredible- is better than anyone else's incredible.. shit my like average is better than anyone else's incredible.. but still. Dean Ambrose, may think that he's somehow going to get the KOTR Miz- that lost to jamoaks like Jay Briscoe in the past- but the fact of the matter is THAT IS NOT who he's going to see at Death Before Dishonor.. and if he thinks it is.. he clearly didn't listen to the fool proof plan I just laid out 10 seconds ago.
Alex Riley: He probably didn't listen Miz.. he's too busy like skinning cats.. or ordering large coffees so he can be extra twitchy for Sunday.
The Miz laughed.
The Miz: Not bad..
Alex Riley: Thanks.
The Miz: Dean Ambrose is and has always been one of those guys I don't get. I mean he came in with the Shield- and you know I got what they were going for. They were kinda aloof.. mysterious.. they liked to go to dark alley's together.. on camera.. you know and off. They liked to wet their hair in the shower together.. you know on camera.. and off. There was a lot of Fist action going on.. on camera.. and off.
Riley laughed.
Alex Riley: Fist action?
The Miz extended his fist out in front of him like the Shield used to.
Alex Riley: OHHHH.. yeah.. I love fist action!
Alex extended his out towards Miz'. Miz quickly pulled his arm back.
The Miz: Alright relax.. but yeah I mean the whole Shield thing.. it was kinda lame.. ok it was really lame.. but it at least made sense. They were the Shield- the HOUNDS OF JUSTICE- they were tough.. they.. couldn't find the entrance ramp. Now since the Shield no longer exists Ambrose has all of a sudden just lost his freaking mind. He's like Hardcore Holly on speed.. just running around smashing his head off stuff. Being the Lunatic Fringe! OHH NO! Not the LUNATIC FRINGE! The fact is Al.. this lunatic is on the fringe of having his career be over.. because I mean it.. when I say that I'm not going to lose in another first round of the King of the Ring tournament. I'm as close to royalty as this company has- there's really no reason why I shouldn't be declared "King of the Ring."
Alex Riley: Are you saying that you are below a King?
The Miz: No you idiot, I'm obviously above a King.
Alex Riley: Like an emperor?
The Miz: No- and stop guessing- I don't even have a title- because nobody is smart enough to come up with a word for just how high I am in the hierarchy of life. I'm The Miz.. period.. end of sentence. So I mean the term King will definitely be downplaying- how good I am in the ring- but hey at least I'll get to wear a crown.
Alex nodded.
Alex Riley: True.. crowns are awesome.
The Miz: Dean Ambrose is like one of the minions that powerful people have in the movies. You know like running around doing the leaders billing.. slobbering all over himself. Imagine one of those minions being King.. just a ridiculous image. Dean Ambrose is gonna spin off this planet- he's heading towards a loony bin- he's not heading towards becoming The King of the Ring. I mean really.. can you imagine.. King Dean Ambrose.. he'd like grab the crown and like starting hitting himself with it. Then he finally would put the crown on, and it would keep falling off his head every time he twitched like the neurotic not dangerous psycho that he is. That's the thing right there- Dean Ambrose- I'll give it to him- he may be a psycho. Like there you go.. Dean Ambrose is a psycho.. congratulations.. but he's not the psycho that you are like legit scared of. He's not the psycho that makes you think you're about to be physically decimated and destroyed because he's so deranged. He's the type of psycho that like if he had a winning power ball ticket.. he might just rip it up and eat it.. just because he felt like it.. like he's not dangerous.. he's just a freaking moron. The difference.. well one of the many differences between The Miz and Dean Ambrose.. is being The Miz Al.. being the Miz.. IS like having a winning lottery ticket- and I'm not going to rip it up and eat it. I'm going to continue to cash in on it, like I've done for my entire career. I'm not going to let someone like Dean Ambrose come in and cash it in for me. This Sunday at Death Before Dishonor- I'm going to take that first step towards winning this tournament- over the past month I've done a lot of thinking- and I can't see a better way to make a statement then to win King of the Ring- because it's something I haven't done in my career- and as EVERYONE knows.. there isn't a whole lot of things on that list. Dean Ambrose is NOT going to keep me from FINALLY checking the win King of the Ring box- off my to do list. Especially when his to do list is like.. put "my hand on a hot stove, growl at children playing at recess, and rock back and forth while sitting in a puddle." The one thing he should add to that list.. is "try not to get beaten to death by The Miz." No guarantees he's going to be able to achieve that goal though Al.
Alex Riley: You mean your going to kill him?
The Miz: Why when I hear you say that- the first thing that comes to mind is like you need to add an apostrophe "R-E" to your.
Alex Riley: Umm.. I don't know.. because I suck at grammar?
The Miz: Might be it- but I mean- no I'm not actually going to commit murder.. because if I'm in jail- I won't be able to wear my crown.. but I do feel as though I may decimate him to the point that he wishes he was dead.. if he doesn't already.. I mean he does have to wake up everyday and be Dean Ambrose..
Alex Riley: True.. that's gotta blow.
The camera had been shooting this conversation fairly close up, but when it panned out, it revealed that Riley and Miz were walking towards and now were entering the arena. The camera followed them inside the building. Miz gave a couple of fist bumps to some behind the scenes guys upon entering.
EBWF Employee: Great party last night bro!
The Miz: Hey thanks man!
Alex Riley: Who was that?
The Miz responded under his breath so that only Riley could hear him.
The Miz: No idea- and if someone that uncool ever shows up to another one of my parties again.. you're fired.
Alex Riley: Sounds good.
Miz and Riley walked for several beats in silence when they finally came to the curtain. A producer was relieved to see Miz.
Producer: Just in time- you ready?
The Miz: I'm always ready...
There was a pause.
Producer: Dan.. I was at your party last night.
The Miz: Right right of course.. I was just kidding Dave.
Producer: Dan.
The Miz: Ah.. got you again.
Dan laughed uncomfortably. Miz walked through the curtain.. but before he did he motioned a thumb across his neck ala the Undertaker- towards Alex Riley.. The camera stayed on Dan and Riley. Dan looked at Alex confused.. Riley looked angry.
Alex Riley: Nice going Stan..
The camera quickly panned away to the arena where a house show was taking place. A match had just concluded and all of a sudden "AWEEEEESOMEEEEEEE" followed by "I Came To Play" by Downstait was heard throughout the arena. There was a loud chorus of boos from the Greensboro crowd, as The Miz sauntered to the ring. He went through his usual brash and arrogant entrance as he climbed in between the ropes and requested a microphone- it was a request that was granted by the time keeper. The Miz squinted unimpressed by the raucous negative reaction.
The Miz: Really?
More boos from the crowd.
The Miz: Really? After all this time? You morons are still gonna sit there and boo your brains out- "booooo- we don't like Miz. BOOO.." Real original guys- fortunately I'm not out here tonight to talk about you.. I'm out here to talk about something way better and more interesting... me.
The Miz smiled and the crowd booed even louder.
The Miz: You see this Sunday in the main event of Death Before Dishonor- I'm going to crack the curious case of Dean Ambrose. You see right now- nobody can seem to figure this guy out. Nobody can seem to understand what makes him so deranged- what makes him so detached from the rest of the world. This Sunday- I'm going to be the private eye- I'm going to solve this great mystery. Except.. I don't even need to wait until Sunday to figure this one out.. Dean Ambrose is so deranged- he's so angry- he's seemingly so upset- because he's a PROFESSIONAL WRESTLER.. and HE SUCKS at WRESTLING..
The crowd booed as Miz feigned a shocked look on his face.
The Miz: MY GOD! THE MIZ IS A GENIUS- He's cracked a question that was on everyone's brain since we met Dean Ambrose! I mean think about it- imagine what it'd be like if you were a chef- and you sucked at cooking. Or like an accountant and you were bad at math.. I mean really... imagine sucking at your jobs... well I guess none of you actually have to imagine that since you all undoubtedly do suck at your jobs..
More boos. The Miz smirked.
The Miz: Yeah I mean listen to you.. me pointing that out made you guys all a bit hot under the collar didn't it. That's how it feels to be Dean Ambrose- that's why he's fit for a straight jacket- because he knows that he's living a lie... he knows that he is a big time fraud in every way possible. He's so twitchy and anxiety ridden because he probably loses sleep over the fact that you idiots think he's this crazy killing machine.. but really he's just an underwhelming side show freak who sucks at the one thing he's supposed to be good at. Fortunately, for Dean Ambrose- The Miz is here to save the day. You see on Sunday- I'm going to put this imbecile out of his misery- on Sunday I'm going to knock Dean Ambrose out of the business that he just isn't mentally or physically ready to be a part of. This Sunday- I'm going to help Dean Ambrose FINALLY sleep at night- because he'll be able to get a job that suits his skill set.. you know.. like trash collector.. or homeless guy... or both. This Sunday Dean Ambrose is going to get the CRAZY knocked out of him- by yours truly..... because Greensboro, as you alll knowwwww!
I'MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM THEEEEEEEEEEEEE MIZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ ANNNNNNNNND I'MMMMMMMMMMMMM AWEEEEEEEEESOMEEEEEEEEEE!
The Miz flipped the microphone to the mat and "I Came To Play" was heard once again as The Miz exited the ring and the scene faded to black.