OOC - Good luck everyone this week with matches. Apart from Ben, hehe! I can't wait to read everyones roleplays this week as well. I'm also giving myself a pat on the back forgetting my roleplay written super early for a change!
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The Warfare stage was plunged into darkness, when all of a sudden an announcer's voice boomed over the speaker system.-----------------
Announcer - Ladies, gentlemen, boys and girls please at this time welcome to the stage Prince Pretty, the Sultan of the selfie, one half of the EBWF World Tag Team champions, Slammy award winning superstar TYLER BREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZE!
Immediately the stage was ablaze with loud pyrotechnics filling the arena. A cascade of sparks came down the ramp and as Tyler Breeze’s music played. A dozen scantily clad male and female models filled the ramp. All holding their camera phones primed to take a shot of the King of Cuteville. But as the music carried on it became clear Breeze was not coming out. The waiting models looked confused, waiting for their cue that never came. Eventually the music cut and the whole arena was confused, until a terribly fake British accent cut through the silence.
? - Now if you was expecting to see Tyler Breeze then I’ve got some bad news for you……. Only kidding baby!
On the screens flashed up Tyler Breeze, but not as we know him. Instead of his usual wrestling outfit he was in fact wearing a suit made of Union Jack flags and a wig reminiscent of Austin Powers. He was clearly wearing some facial putty to make his nose and chin look larger. But even with all of these things it was clearly, unmistakably Tyler Breeze. He turned to the camera and spoke in his awfully fake accent once again.
Terrific News Tyler - Top of the mornin’ to ya guvnor I’d like to introduce myself. My name is Terrific News Tyler, and if you was expecting to see that amazing bloke Tyler Breeze tonight then I’ve got some terrific news for you, he’ll be joining us in two shakes of a corgi’s tail! But first I just wanted to do what I do best, mate. Deliver some terrific news.
The camera on Terrific News Tyler started to move and obviously Tyler was starting to walk somewhere. Continuing with his appalling British accent, he carried on speaking.
Terrific News Tyler - I know a lot of you bloody lovely people here like a bit of social media. Well for all of you that are fed up of Wade Barrett’s face popping on their Twitter, Instagram, FaceBook, Bebo, MySpace or any lovely jubbly website like that I’ve got some terrific news for you. Tyler Breeze has just released this. (He held held his mobile phone to camera, which showed Wade Barrett’s face with a big cross covering it) The ‘Block The Brit’ app. That’s right me old china plates, your one stop shop way of guaranteeing you can block that jug eared gargoyle from EVERY single website imaginable. And for a simple upgrade fee of $1.99 every picture of Barrett will be replaced with a picture of the King of Cuteville himself, Tyler Breeze. What a top bloke for inventing that!
Stopping for a moment at a table Tyler put on some industrial grade gloves and gingerly picked up a t-shirt, momentarily gagging as he did so.
Terrific News Tyler - My mate Tyler, like the bloody legend that he is, has gone a step further. For all of you lovely people who in a moment of madness purchased some Wade Barrett merchandise we has some terrific news for you. Tyler Breeze has set up these all over the country (he was pointing to a giant garbage can with an unflattering picture of Wade Barrett on it). He’s calling them ‘The Bloody Awful Barrett Bins.’ A Wade Barrett amnesty. A place where all of you girls and guys can, without being judged, throw away all of that shoddy tat you bought. And Tyler has 100% promised that none of this rubbish will be given to charity, no homeless people will forced to wear it, it won’t be shredded and made into anything else. The The Bloody Awful Barrett Bins guarantee that every single item will be incinerated and the ashes will then be incinerated, and the ashes of the ashes will be incinerated. It’s Tyler triple B promise, ‘burn Barrett burn’. And once we work out how, the ashes of the ashes of the ashes will be shot directly into the sun so there is no chance of the Wade Barrett’s mass murderer like beard ever being seen on a t-shirt in public again. YEAH BABY!
Finally Tyler stopped walking and was clearly just behind the the curtain and carried on speaking.
Terrific News Tyler - Now if all you lovely birds and blokes were getting worried that Wade Barrett might win the King of the Ring tournament then I’ve got some more terrific news for you. He is having a punch up with my mate Tyler Breeze, and there is no chance he could beat Prince Pretty! I know that fella Breeze pretty well (he gave an over the top, knowing wink to the camera) and he told me there is no chance he’d let a 100% uggo like Wade prance around the EBWF with a crown on his head. If anyone is doing any prancing in the EBWF it’ll be Tyler. And for my final piece of terrific news……
He threw off his wig and pulled off the suit he was wearing in one quick motion, to reveal his usual wrestling attire and his slicked back blonde hair. Tyler Breeze’s music played and the crowd cheered as he stepped out in front of them with the microphone still in hand.
Tyler Breeze - Ha, you see the terrific news is that is was me, the Sultan of the Selfie Tyler Breeze all along! I had you all fooled! But everything I said was true. My goal isn’t just to beat Wade Barrett and knock him out of the King of the Ring tournament, but I want to rid the world of the monstrosity that is Wade Barrett completely. Hash tag Bye Bye Barrett.
Clicking his fingers the models moved in behind him lined up in a girl boy alternating formation. Even more surprising they began singing a beautiful version of the World in Union as Tyler carried on speaking, their singing the backing to his words.
Tyler Breeze - You see I stand here before you just a man trying to change the world one selfie at the time. And you people are no different. You may think what can that one amazing specimen of a man stood before me do? Other than beat Wade senseless, embarrass him, and pin him with ease. But I am looking at each and everyone one of you and thinking the same. What can you do? You (he pointed to a man in the front row). You (he pointed at someone else). You, you, you, you (his fingers were now pointing all over the arena). Well you have the chance to stand on the shoulders of giants and we together can make the difference.
Breeze began to walk up and down the line of models taking in their amazing singing.
Tyler Breeze - Give a starving man a fish he feeds his family for a day. Give him a net and he can feed his family for a lifetime. Tell him the uggo Wade Barrett is gone for good and he no longer cares for his hunger, he can die a happy man, worry free. All of you have a chance to make that change that will benefit your children, your children’s children and your children’s children’s children.
The model choir carried on with its singing as Tyler carried on speaking.
Tyler Breeze - Ask not what the EBWF can do for you, but what can you do for the EBWF and the entire world. By carrying out those simple actions outlined by Terrific News Tyler (Tyler winked to the camera) and we can rid the whole planet of Wade Barrett. No longer will we have to endure a face so ugly that it only deserves dislikes. T-shirts so hideous, that no person sane of mind would wear them. I would rather be dead than be seen wearing something emblazoned with his name. We together stand on the verge of greatness. To improve is to change. to be perfect is to change often. The price of greatness is responsibility. Each of you here tonight can start that change. You are the ones responsible for putting those wheels in motion. History will look back on this day and every single person here tonight who stands up to be counted will be looked back on as a hero. For those nay sayers who do not agree, history will be kind to us for tonight we write it together. Tonight we take that first step in making a better world. A world where are not bothered by Wade Barrett. I’ll do my part by beating him tonight, that goes without saying, but I ask you all to join me. Remember hashtag bye bye Barrett.
Tyler lifted his palm and immediately the choir stopped singing and silently moved off stage. With a nod of his head the entire arena was plunged into total darkness and Tyler spoke one final sentence.
Tyler Breeze - Make that change.
The Titantron fired into life and a video package of Wade Barrett being beaten and losing matches to various EBWF superstars played as Heroes by David Bowie blasted over the speakers. The camera switched to the commentary team of Joey Styles and Corey Graves. Styles was sat, mouth aghast at what he had just witnessed, however Corey Graves seemed to be wiping something from his eye. Styles did a double take looking at him. Graves spoke, in a whisper.
Corey Graves - Beautiful……...just beautiful.
Joey Styles - ARE YOU CRYING?!
Corey Graves - Ermmmm, no of course not. I think there was something in my eye was all……...