DC 6.6: Birds in Flight

[Derek]

We are in the backstage interview area with Michael Cole.

Cole: Please welcome my guest at this time…Dalton Castle.

Dalton steps onto the set with a flourish, flanked by two of the Boys.

Dalton: OH! It feels so good, I’ve been holding that position off camera for AN HOUR. Saluntations, Mitchell.

Cole: Michael.

Castle points at himself.

Dalton: No, Dalton. Try to keep up, Mitchell.

He pats Cole on the cheek, then turns to the camera.

Dalton: Energetic Brassiere Wrangling Fans have been blowing up my Twitter this week. They want to know more about my Boys! It’s quite simple really. As a stunning living portrait of all that is manly in the world, I feel it is my duty to Haley Joel Osment that knowledge. I’m talking about paying it forward, Mitchell. So I take these boys in, and I make them into men. Every morning, we do one hundred Hindu squats! You ever do one hundred Hindu squats, Mitchell?

He squeezes Cole’s arm.

Dalton: You could use my teachings. You’re soft and doughy, just like these boys used to be! But soon they will be hot, crunchy, brown MEN. It’s a beautiful thing.

Cole: Of course, you had a successful debut two weeks ago, defeating Damien Sandow to move forward in the King of the Ring tournament.

Dalton: I did, didn’t I? I had almost forgotten about that, thanks for reminding me. Mister Smarty-Pants learned something new that night. You can’t underestimate Dalton Castle! You have to count him exactly as many as he is, and that’s A WHOLE LOT! I looked ahead in your little bracket and I see that up next I’m taking on Chick Magnet Punk. I’ve been looking forward to since the first day I laced up wrestling boots. That morning, me and boys will do TWO hundred squats!

Cole: But first this week, you will face Matt Sydal.

Dalton: You think I don’t know that, Mitchell? I may be looking forward but I LIVE in the NOW. And right now, it is time for me to take on one of the best aerial wrestlers on THIS world. Martian wrestlers are of course better because of the low gravity. Kryptonian wrestlers? Horrible high flyers on their own planet for similar reasons. Science is manly too, boys, take a note of that.

One of the boys pulls out a notepad from his loincloth. Dalton slaps it out of his hand.

Dalton: I meant a mental note! Mind the tableau!

He runs his hands through his hair to calm himself.

Dalton: That’s called tough love, Mitchell. And that’s what I’m going to show to Matt Sydal this week, toughen him up a bit! Sydal has been Rebourne, they say. That means born again. Well some of us got it right the FIRST TIME! Just ask my mom. Nine pounds, full head of hair! Want to see my baby pictures, Mitchell? Well you can’t and that’s weird, something is seriously wrong with you, Mitchell.

Cole: It’s Michael.

Castle spins around to look behind him.

Dalton: Where?

He looks back to the camera.

Dalton: Never mind. Matt Sydal, you’re a great high-flyer. But this week you face a Peacock. And we can fly too! For short distances. And low altitudes. It’s more of an assisted long jump, really. Butthatdoesn’t MATTER! What matters is this. Matt Sydal, next week, you’re going be feeling like a bad tween on a Saturday night, ‘cause you’re gonna get grounded. DC OUT!

Dalton stomps off of the set, the Boys slowly back away, keeping an intense stare on Cole.