DC 6.27: Drive Time

[Derek]

Listeners tuning into Q103 at noon on Friday received an unexpected treat as a former host stopped by his old slot to chat.

“Saluntations, Albany. I’m Dalton Castle, THESE are my boys…” [the soft sound of feathers shaking against the microphone]”…and this is the Retro Lunch on Albany’s Rock Station, Q103. I’m a busy man these days, I don’t know if you know this, Vinnie, but I am a hot commodity in the Ernest B Worrell Fightathon. Stop poking me, I KNOW it’s P, do you think I’m a heathen? Anyhoo, as I was saying, I am an insanely successful and popular grapplist now, and everyone should tune in this Monday night to see their hometown boy done good.”

Vinnie, the current host: “That’s right, Q103’s own Dalton Castle, EBWF superstar, is in the studio and Dalton, we’ve seen you grow from a regional star into a national one, where are you off to next week?”

Dalton: “I’m travelling to SALT LAKE CITY. That is an important distinction, because as you may not be aware, lakes are generally fresh water, but THIS one is full of salt, so they named the city after it. While I am in the city named after the salty water, I will be competing in the King of the Ring tournament. I’m gonna be crowned KING, baby!”

Vinnie: “The King of the Ring tournament of course is a longstanding wrestling tradition, this year the EBWF brackets included some of the hottest free agents and legends in the wrestling world. In previous rounds you’ve defeated Damien Sandow and CM Punk. This round, it says here that you face Randy Orton for a spot in the semifinals.”

Dalton: “RANDALL ORTON! They say he’s a dangerous man, they say he’s a viper. Well, too bad for him, I’m not SCARED of SNAKES! I used to be. With the slithering and the eyes and fangs, oh sure, you bet. But then I really stopped and thought about it, and do you know what I decided? A snake is just a homeless, quadriplegic turtle and that’s not scary. It’s just sad. Why did you name yourself after something sad, Randall? Peacocks are colorful, spectacular, majestic. I dare even say, regal.”

Vinnie: “Not to jinx yourself, of course.”

Dalton: “I don’t believe in jinxes unless there’s Coke on the line. I MEANT THE DRINK, you know I wouldn’t pollute this temple. I didn’t ask for these muscles, but I got ‘em. And I’m taking care of them, and they’re going to take care of the Viper.”

Vinnie: “You’re no stranger to social media attention yourself, but Orton was a viral sensation last year with the RKO from out of nowhere vines. How do you prepare for a move that could come at any time?”

Dalton: “From out of nowhere? What does that even mean? If nowhere is a place, then it is somewhere, and if it isn’t, then it isn’t a place and it can’t have exports. And if nowhere is a place and he is bringing RKOs from out of nowhere, that means he must be smuggling them through customs, and I DEMAND he be put on the no-fly list. Good luck driving to Utah, Randall, I win by forfeit.”

Vinnie: “So you aren’t worried about facing such a veteran wrestler?”

Dalton: “He has his experience, sure, but I’m not running a fly-by-night operation here myself. I’ve been in the ring for eight years and I’ve been on the mats for even longer. He never came up through the independent scene, he was professional from the jump. He never watched the young, hungry, insane guys clawing for a spot on the next show. So you see, in this instance, I have the advantage. I’ve seen anything Randall can pull out. I’ve seen jumping cutters, spinning cutters, flying cutters, flipping cutters, running cutters, rolling cutters, dancing cutters, cutters through tables, cutters onto chairs, cutters off ladders, cutters UP ladders, I have seen it all. But Randy doesn’t know me, yet. They see me preening, they see the boys, and they think they got the whole picture, but ask CM Punk, and ask Damien Sandow, I’m like a Transformer, baby, more than meets the eye.”

Vinnie: “Well, all of us here at the station will definitely be tuning in to Warfare on Monday night and wishing you luck, man. Is there anything else you’d like to say before we throw to the next block of commercial free music?”

Dalton: “The world can be a cold, gray place, so never stop being colorful and never stop partying.”

Vinnie: “Words of wisdom from Dalton Castle. And in honor of our guest, let’s start this next thirty-minute rock-block off with some Freddie Mercury, and Queen.”

Dalton: "SQUAW!"

[bbvideo=560,315]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hFDcoX7s6rE[/bbvideo]