The Beginning of the End

[Nathan]

The scene opens up backstage in a staging area. The place is a bit dim, and the only one that seems to be there is Cactus Jack.

Cactus: When I first heard that EBWF was going to hold a Tag Team Classic Tournament, I looked around and I realized one very important thing. There isn’t a single wrestler on this roster that I would EVER team with in this company. None of you are worthy of working with a true Legend like myself, so I had to go looking outside of the company for someone who is worthy enough to be my tag team partner, and at long last I finally found him! Ladies and gentlemen, my tag team partner and the newest addition to the EBWF roster, my good friend, DOINK!

Stepping to the side, Cactus turns as the camera pans over to see Doink the clown enter the frame.

Doink: Hooo hoo hoo! Thank you for that introduction, Cactus, but first there is one thing I just gotta say! You and I have been in arenas all over the world. We’ve been on the biggest stages of them all so there’s just one question that I know everyone out there is thinking along with me! Why in the HELL are we stooping so low as to work here, in the EBWF?

Cactus: An excellent question, Doink! I think it has something to do with teaching the new generation a thing or two, but honestly, none of these idiots is qualified to hold our gym socks.

Doink: Hooo hoo! Well put Cactus! Speaking of a couple of idiots, it looks like we’ve got ourselves a match with a couple of them here tonight! Enzo and Cass… who the hell comes up with these names? You’ve got one who likes to run his mouth and dash around the ring like a toddler on a sugar high, and the other one is lumbering jackass who would do horrible in a third grade spelling bee. This is what the future looks like? I think the industry should wake up and take a morning after pill to spare us all.

Cactus: I couldn’t have said it any better myself. Look, I know the real thing when I see it, I’ve been around this business for longer than I even want to think about. Looking at these two mooks we’re up against here tonight I think it’s safe to say that the outcome is going to be obvious. First, we’re going to smack that stupid hair coloring off Enzo’s over stuffed head, then we’re going to cut Cass down to size and show everyone out there what a big sniveling baby he truly is.

Doink: Tonight is not only the first night of this Tag Team Classic, it’s the first night of the intricate dismantling of EBWF as all of you worthless little twits out there know it. By the time we’re done with these two Jersey Shore rejects, they will be eating their meals through a straw and learning the true meaning of such a ridiculous stupid word like sawft.

The two men laugh as the scene fades out.