"Oh hey! I thought I heard someone acting nervous behind the door, you don't need to be nervous! Ask the locker room, the internet or the smarks, im the chillest person in this business. Sydal might say he is but, I've seen the shit he smokes... and let me tell you...well, i'll put it simply, he's better smoking actual grass because it's awful. I didn't even get the munchies!
What are you here for anyway? Oh wait, the promo right for that show i'm on! Who am I against?"
RVD looks genuinely confused until a voice from behind the camera says
"Urm, Raven. You didn't know?"
"Oh Scott?! That's awesome! Wow, fucken' Raven is my first opponent. Wait, I'm in a company which puts be against an ECW guy in my first night? Oh god, I've been there before."
RVD looks directly into the camera, smiles and winks.
"Anyway, Scott right? Raven! From a hardcore legend, to having a flock, to being a washed out hack. Sorry Scotty, I love you but you've turned into everything you complained about back in the day. You used to hate all those old dudes getting all the spots and you just on the undercard. You used to beat everyone with weapons week in week out and now you just complain that you're getting beat every week. When was the last time you genuinely beat someone properly? Jimmy Havoc right? The Breakout dude. Yeah, you got your win but, he beat you when it really mattered and all you can do is sit and quote the raven while you lick your own wounds, dude."
RVD puts his hands on the floor, does a handstand, brings his legs back down into a crab posistion and stands back up.
"That's the point Scott. If you beat me, i'll come back here, shower and go home. I really dont care bro, I'll put the work in and if I come up short then, the better man won because if someone can beat me on my best then, all the best to them. On the other hand, If I put you on your back, come down off that Five Star Frog Splash and hear the 1-2-3 you'll go back to your locker room and make another emo vlog saying how much you're still better than me, but thats the issue here. Obviously you can't be better because you just lost bro! Scott,
I love you and I love being in the ring with you but you've changed dude, for the worse and if I have to kick that out of you then so be it. Please don't take my kindness for remorse though Scott, you know me, I always give 100% in that ring and if I have too, i'll break any and all bones in your body."
RVD takes a hit of a blunt that was on a shelf in an ashtray.
"Hey! Enough of that serious shit, you want a hit off this? No? Alright. I think i'm gonna get ready and stuff because my match is soon...I think. So you know, I'll be getting naked and unless you want the real "Whole Damn Show" I'm gonna have to ask you to leave if thats cool dude!"
The camera starts to turn away until its suddenly dragged back
"FUCK, WAIT! I keep forgetting! Where was i? Scott is bad, blah-blah-blah, break your bones, blah-blah-blah and i'll do all that stuff because my name is....ROB...VAN...DAM!"
Rob does his signature pose and then turns to leave and the scene ends.
