Hottest Chick in the Ring

[Ashlee]

F-A-B-U-L-O-U-S

The crowd came alive for new theme music as the newest EBWF women’s wrestling talent stepped out to greet the Summerslam audience. She wore a leopard print crop top with black pants and white high tops. The crowd cheered as she moon walked across the stage. She spoke into the microphone as she headed toward the ring.

Carmella: My name is Carmellllllaaaaa.

She dragged out her name with a fair amount of sass.

Carmella: And I am the Princess of Staten Island. EBWF is about to get fab-

Carmella dipped down, swinging her hips on every syllable.

Carmella: -u-lous. I am the moon walkin’, smack talkin’ chick, always ready to go. So grab your popcorn, I’m about to put on a show. Bada Bing… hottest chick in the ring…

It was at this point Carmella popped up onto the ring apron and hung off the top rope, winking as she did.

Carmella: How you doin’?

The crowd, already accustomed to the catchphrase from Enzo Amore began chanting “How you doin’? back at Carmella who was positively beaming in the ring.

Carmella: Oh, I’m fabulous baby.

The crowd roared their approval again at her off the cuff response.

Carmella: Now it’s nothin’ but an honor and a privilege to be the newest chick tearing up the road and rockin’ arenas from coast to coast with the only true game in the business, EBWF. It’s also quite appropriate that the hottest chick in the ring would be making her debut at the hottest show of the summer. We’re going to kick off this joint with a triple threat match, and as luck would have it I’ll get to get my hands on both Eva Marie and Gionna Daddio. Everyone is out here talkin’ about The Broken tonight, but no, no, no, let ‘Mella set you right. This kick off match is about to be off the chain.

Now it’s taken me some time to collect my thoughts on The Queen of All Red Everything. That little leech that spends her time hanging off of Summer Rae and Sasha Banks, Ms. Eva Marie. We ain’t dumb are we EBWF Universe? We all know that Eva Marie is the queen of nothin’ and if she was, the Princess of Staten Island would be coming to snatch that crown. I can already guess, Eva. You think you’re going to drag me? Did you have to Google me, boo boo? You can pretend you did, but I know the truth. You’re ready to sit back and watch as your already irrelevant career fades all the more, aren’t you? That’s the only play you got when you’re in the ring with Carmella.

But it ain’t gonna be just you and me. Oh no, Gionna Daddio making this a threesome. Now, I ain’t been here five minutes, and the whole EBWF Universe already knows that Gionna Daddio is just a low-rent, Carmella. You know it’s true. No flash, low class, lacking sass, pain in the ass. Knick knack, paddy whack give a dog a bone, I’mma bury this bitch and engrave “Imposter” on her tombstone. They say imitation is the greatest form of flattery, but I don’t need your adulation - I don’t take compliments from a trick below my station. Real talk, Gionna, I’mma have you on the floor, leave you more wrecked than Hurricane Sandy left the Jersey Shore. Face it, Daddio, you won’t ever be me. You’re better off joining those Guidos on M.T.V. How you doin?

The crowd posted out another “How you doin’” chant, and Carmella began doing the moonwalk in the ring. She was pumped up.

Carmella: I know neither of these broads know when to shut up, so when I get them in the Code of Silence they’re gonna learn. Tonight is just the start of Carmella being Fabulous in EBWF, but don’t get it twisted. I’ve got my eye on the prize, and I’mma about to step in line. After my win tonight, whether it’s Alexa or Sasha, I’m coming for that throne.

Carmella remained in the ring awaiting her opponents as Summerslam was sit to kick off.