The Only One Who Gets A Ribbon
Posted: Mon Sep 26, 2016 12:42 pm
The Miz was once again riding high, after defeating Kevin Owens on Warfare and earning himself a shot at the EBWF Path To Glory Championship at Destiny. To win that title he would have to go through a couple of very familiar foes in Sami Zayn and PJ Black. The Miz knew what a large opportunity this was, and certainly didn't want to see it slip away. Winning the EBWF PTG Championship was often the springboard to becoming the EBWF Champion- and in fact- The Miz himself cashed in his PTG Championship to earn his second World Title reign, so he not only knew that fact- he lived it. It would not be an easy feat by any stretch of the imagination, as both of his fellow competitors in this match, were extremely big names in the new era of this company. Black had been the PTG Champion since December of 2015- a very impressive run to say the least- and Sami Zayn was a former EBWF Champion. This triple threat match would inevitably have the EBWF universe buzzing with excitement. Could Miz or Zayn end this seemingly never ending running for PJ Black? Or would the champion continue to persevere in his quest to become the EBWF World Champion? Time would certainly tell.
The scene opened up in the streets of Houston, Texas. There were people walking on the sidewalks, and it was very lively and exuberant with energy. The camera panned around quick as if it was looking for someone, and finally it settled in on two familiar faces. The Miz and Alex Riley. They were walking down the street in conversation, as the camera zoomed in on them to catch what they were saying. Miz was dressed in a black with red letters "If you're reading this- I'm better than you." T-Shirt, and Riley was dressed in a white fitted T and both men wore gray jeans. Riley ate a pretzel and Miz had a large slurpee that he was occasional sipping on, both men had their hair gelled to heavily and wore similar looking sunglasses. Just another day in the life of the A-Listers.
The Miz: They say everything is bigger in Texas- but man- have you seen one freaking skinny person since we've landed? I haven't-I mean it's tubbo after tubbo. I feel like Paul Heyman is making his side money being everyone in this states nutritionist. It's horrifying.
Alex Riley: It really is, last week it was Alabama Tubbo's and now Texas Tubbo's. God damn- I hate TUBBOS!
The Miz: The good news is- Destiny will be here soon- and then it won't just be the guts of it's residents that are bigger in Texas- it will also be the size of my wins. A-Ri- at Destiny- I have a chance- nay- I WILL become the next EBWF Path To Glory Champion- which means I will once again become the EBWF World Champion. So this match to me is VERY VERY big- I will have a Texas resident gut sized level of excitement when I prove myself right- as I often do- and win this match on Sunday. If I seem confident- it's because I am- I have a little spring in my step today- and do you know why?
Alex Riley: Did you switch to boxers?
The Miz: Boxers? What are you 13? Boxer briefs bro.. grow up.
Alex pulled down his pants to reveal superman boxer shorts.. because of course.
Alex Riley: Superman bro..
The Miz: What? Why?
Alex Riley: I like to let the ladies know, that I'm the man of steel.
The Miz looked like he was sorry he asked.
The Miz: I'm sorry I asked.
See.
The Miz: The reason though, is not me switching to boxers. It's because I'm excited about the fact that once again order is about to be restored to this company. Once again normalcy is going to hit the airwaves of the EBWF- and the days of extremely mind boggling people enjoying success are going to be over. I mean Seth Rollins.. Jimmy Havoc... PJ Black... really? That is what we are calling the "champions" around here. In the name of all that is awesome.. so basically in the name of all that is me.. what is this world coming to, if those are the jamoaks that represent our company. That this company is throwing out there under the pretense that they are the best of the best, the top guys that we have to offer. I mean Sami Zayn is still freaking here? What? It's incredible the guy has been here for like 2 years now, and he hasn't said one original or interesting thing yet. It's like blah blah blah.. I'll give it my all.. blah blah blah... I'll win this match.. blah blah blah.. I'm a virgin. Like come on- and not only is he still here- he's still finding his way into these types of matches. He's still competing for the World Title or the Path To Glory Title.. or the title for biggest geek in the EBWF- fortunately for everyone- he's only winning number 3, and this Sunday he certainly won't be winning number 2. I actually saw Sami the other day at a restaurant- coloring in a coloring book..
Alex Riley: Coloring books are for kids though..
The Miz: I know..
Alex Riley: And he's not a kid..
The Miz: I know!
Alex Riley: So why was he coloring?
The Miz: I really just have no idea.. it's almost like the only thought that every goes through this guys head is like.. how can I do the LAMEST possible thing in every situation? What is the lamest thing I could possibly do- he then finds the answer- and then.. well he goes and does that thing,. So let's take this Sunday for example with that same logic. What is the lamest thing that Sami Zayn could do? Welp- I'd say he'd start by cutting a promo to all 4 of his fans- talking about how he's going to "beat us," and a bunch of other generic nonsense- this promo will go on for WAY longer than anybody cares to listen.. which mean it'll be at least 5 seconds long. After he gets done lying to his small stable of followers, the next lame thing to do would be to shout "OLE" or something stupid like that.. so he'll probably do that.. then he'll come out and proceed to just get in my way of kicking the crap out of PJ Black and taking his title, so he will bumble around the ring doing that for awhile. Sami Zayn and I in this match are like two guys at the bar going for the hot chick. One of the guys is really good looking and could easily get her, and the other guy is ugly.. like basically the red headed step child of the earth.. yet the only thing the second guy could do in this situation is ruin it for the good looking guy.. by just grossing the girl out so much that she leaves and doesn't go for either of them. Sami Zayn is the ugly read headed step child of this match, and the PTG Championship is the hot chick- and I'm of course the good looking guy- if you lost track of that analogy at home.. which let's face it.. you probably did.. because you're well.. stupid.
Alex Riley: So you're saying the good looking guy doesn't get the chick?
The Miz: No- the match at Destiny is basically going to be the equivalent of the good looking guy looking the Red headed ugly guy in the men's room- and then obviously scoring the hot babe. Let's face it- I always close.. look at this friggin face.
The Miz winked into the camera and A-Ri got excited.
Alex Riley: SO handsome bro..
The Miz: Alright relax.
Alex Riley: Sorry.
The Miz: It's alright- but seriously the point is- I'm not letting Sami Zayn get in my way of taking home the PTG Championship, and look I get it- I know that PJ Black has been the champion for almost a year.. I understand.. but do you know who else was the PTG Champion for a sickening amount of time.. Ted DiBi- freaking- ase. And that guy is pathetic. Only losers are the PTG Champion for any amount of time now a days, most of us just take the title cash it in and become the World Champion.. like you know.. I did. PJ Black- what a joke- talk about another guy who could put a crying baby to sleep- by just trying to come up with an interesting sentence. Why so angsty? You've won some matches- you have a title- you're dating a chick that's way to hot for you, and who definitely cheats on you.. like things are good. SMILE! At least while you still can, you are a guy PJ, that I've really just never gotten. Like how much time can one film themselves talking, before they are like "OH MY GOD.. I have NOT ONE cool thing to say!" I mean you and Sami should have your own freaking radio station that nobody would tune in to. The two of you, just go on and on and on, and all the while- I'm just like getting more and more fired up to beat the crap out of you, just so I won't have to listen to you guys yammer on and say a lot of words, that basically don't mean a damn thing, don't make me smile, don't make me laugh, don't intimidate me, don't interest me , don't confuse me.. well they kinda confuse me.. and what I'm confused about is who keeps deciding that either one of you should ever even be in front of the camera. You see me?
The Miz pulled the camera man closer to him.
Alex Riley: LOOK AT HIM!
The Miz: This is what a star looks like- you hear the words I've been saying? THAT is how you talk in front of a camera- the two of you both sound like you have total anxiety over talking in front of people- YET- ALL YOU DO IS TALK IN FRONT OF PEOPLE. If I sucked at ping pong- I just wouldn't friggin play- I don't suck at ping pong.. I'm actually awesome at it- along with everything else- but you get the point. I mean my god! SHUT UP! I feel like PJ in particular literally sits at his computer and takes notes as to what everybody says about him, like day in day out- just note scribbling away- so that when it's his turn to talk- he can just be like.. "remember in June of 2009.. when you called me a loser.. well.. I'm not a loser.. I'm a winner! I'M A WINNER! I'm going to yell louder so you know I'm serious.. I'm a WINNER.. I WIN! RAHHHHH!"
Alex Riley: RAHHH!
The Miz: I mean seriously- It's got to be absolutely exhausting to focus SO much on what other people say and think about you. That's why I choose to not give a remote crap about any of that kind of stuff. All I care about is continuing to be what I am- every god damn day of the week- and that is the cream of the crop-best of the best- your favorite wrestler's favorite wrestler- superest of stars- The Miz. What PJ Black and Sami Zayn say about me- mean absolutely nothing to me, all that matters to me when it comes to these two borezillas, is that they are standing in my way.. sort of.. kind of... well not really at all.. of becoming the Path To Glory Champion. PJ Black is the opposite- dude has a diary full of all the things people have said and done to him over the years. "Dear Diary- Miz once said that I suck.. I'll show him." It's pathetic.. well here you go PJ- here is another diary entry for you- I THINK THAT YOU BEING THE PATH TO GLORY CHAMPION IS A MOTHER EFFIN LAUGH RIOT. You are like a booger hanging out of the nose of the company- that nobody has the guts to tell the company about.. and I- The Miz- am going to be the god damn clean-ex. SO PJ- go ahead and blow... oh wait.. you already do..
Alex couldn't hold in his laughter at that joke- as the two men continued to walk down the streets of Texas.
The Miz: At Destiny- nobody is going to have to listen to you piss and moan about how you deserve more- they aren't going to have to hear you hold a grudge over something somebody said to you- or something they did 8 years ago- because all they will see is PRESENT DAY PJ Black getting absolutely owned, getting absolutely decimated by someone who is TRULY a better man in every way shape or form. FINALLY- they won't have to see PJ Black carrying around the EBWF Path To Glory Championship- unless you somehow find a way to win it- after I cash it in, to become the EBWF World Champion for the third time. This Sunday at Destiny I'm going to send you to the land of Misfit Ex Path To Glory Champions for 9,000 days- with my old friend Ted. You two can sit around and talk about how much you hate me, Ted could tell you about all the times I've beaten the crap out of him, and he may even be able to give you a couple of the cuff stories, that you can write in your diary, that you could later use in a bit that nobody will watch or be interested in at all. The thing that you won't be doing AFTER Destiny is parading around this place anymore- there's just no room for you, you are like a dark cloud on the otherwise Sunny Day that is this business. I love Sports Entertainment, and I love the EBWF- I just hate when people like you ruin it- because you are CONSTANTLY FORGETTING TO BE ENTERTAINING. Well I'm no weather man, although with this hair, this money maker, this smile, and this charisma I should be- but I'm predicting NO MORE dark clouds, no more rain, and no more PJ Black after this Sunday. This Sunday is step one- and whether it's AJ Styles or Chris Jericho who comes out on top in the main event, that will matter just about as much as whatever the hell PJ Black and Sami Zayn have to say this week- because it's only a matter of time, that The Miz returns to his rightful spot in this business.. THE TOP OF IT.
The Miz loudly sipped his slurpee and winked mid sip, as the scene faded to black.
The scene reopened live the morning of EBWF Destiny. The Miz was in his hotel room, packing a few things before heading over to the arena. A knock at the door was heard, and Miz- who was dressed in a blue nike t-shirt and white basketball shorts, answered the door. Renee Young was there on the other side. She looked beautiful, dressed in a yellow sun dress, that went to just above her knee. The Miz smirked.
The Miz: Wow Renee- how forward of you.. with a camera crew and everything.. I like it!
Renee looked repulsed.
Renee Young: Ew no. We were hoping to get a quick word with you about your match tonight, I do apologize for coming to your hotel room, but nobody knew when you were going to be at the arena. You haven't answered any of our calls.
The Miz: Look Renee, I'm The Miz okay? Do you know what that's like?
Renee went to answer, Miz cut her off.
The Miz: Of course you don't. My phone literally rings all day- whether it's people wanting me to do guest appearances, girls wanting to "hang out", the guys wanting me to go out on the town.. flirty interview girls who want me to give them some thoughts. It never stops- I'm used to it- so I'm not complaining, but neither should you if you try to call my cell phone and I don't answer.
Renee seemed disinterested.
Renee Young: Soo.. can we get a few words from you about tonight?
The Miz rolled his eyes.
The Miz: Alright whatever fine.. I'm already packed up for tonight- I'll give you a few minutes of my precious precious time. You want some thoughts about tonight? Well my thoughts about tonight are relatively simple, since those are the only thoughts my two opponents can understand. This Sunday night- the chances of me becoming the Path To Glory Championship- are 100 PERCENT Renee. They are 200 percent.. and I know 100 is the highest you can go- but the rules of mathematics don't apply to someone at my level of amazing. There is ZERO chance that I don't walk out of Destiny with the Path To Glory Championship over these broad perfect shoulders. There is a negative chance that I don't win.. and I know ZERO is the lowest you can go.. but again those rules of mathematics are no match for my greatness. Sami Zayn and PJ Black are two small acorns on a road.. and I am a Mack truck. If you aren't getting the imagery, because you're blonde and dumb.. I'm saying I'm going to run them the hell over, en route to becoming the EBWF Path To Glory Champion, which means I'll then be EN ROUTE to becoming the EBWF World Champion.. which means we are all EN ROUTE to seeing a lot more of me.. and I think.. no.. I know.. that this is EXACTLY what everybody needs. I'm not going to be humble Renee.. I'm not going to sit here and "Zayn" it and say that everybody has a shot tonight- may the best man win- because everybody doesn't have a shot- and I'm the best man.. so I will win. This isn't summer camp where everybody gets a ribbon, and if it was summer camp- I would take all the ribbons from everybody else and wear them in front of them. This is the EBWF the only people that get to be successful- are the people that are good enough to be successful. So sorry Zayn.. and sorry PJ Black- the fantasy land you've been living in.. is officially coming to an end.. and I know you know that I've said that to you before.. you'd probably have to flip pretty far back in your "I'm paranoid" journal to find it, but it's there. The good things in life.. and this business.. are going to return back to somebody who deserves them.. ME. At Destiny, the EBWF becomes what it should always be.. a place where only the best.. only the strongest.. can survive. Not everybody can be the lead in the play.. not everybody can be the quarterback.. not everybody can be the CEO of a company.. the world needs the human tree.. the 3rd string kicker.. and the guys who work in the mail room.. so don't worry Zayn and PJ.. you'll still have a spot.. you'll still have a purpose.. sure it'll be a crappy spot.. and a pretty irrelevant purpose.. but let's face it.. it's what you deserve. Sunday the lime light, the spot light, all the lights will be back on The Miz.. because Sunday- I will be RIGHT BACK on my PATH TO THE GLORY- THAT YOU GET FROM BEING THE #1 Man in this business- WHICH I AM..
BECAUSE I'M THE MIZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ANNNNNNNND I'MMMMMMMMMMMMM
AWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
The Miz waved his fingers at Renee and the camera to leave his hotel room. She shook her head in disbelief, that there was literally no give and take in this interview. The camera left the room, and the scene faded to black.
The scene opened up in the streets of Houston, Texas. There were people walking on the sidewalks, and it was very lively and exuberant with energy. The camera panned around quick as if it was looking for someone, and finally it settled in on two familiar faces. The Miz and Alex Riley. They were walking down the street in conversation, as the camera zoomed in on them to catch what they were saying. Miz was dressed in a black with red letters "If you're reading this- I'm better than you." T-Shirt, and Riley was dressed in a white fitted T and both men wore gray jeans. Riley ate a pretzel and Miz had a large slurpee that he was occasional sipping on, both men had their hair gelled to heavily and wore similar looking sunglasses. Just another day in the life of the A-Listers.
The Miz: They say everything is bigger in Texas- but man- have you seen one freaking skinny person since we've landed? I haven't-I mean it's tubbo after tubbo. I feel like Paul Heyman is making his side money being everyone in this states nutritionist. It's horrifying.
Alex Riley: It really is, last week it was Alabama Tubbo's and now Texas Tubbo's. God damn- I hate TUBBOS!
The Miz: The good news is- Destiny will be here soon- and then it won't just be the guts of it's residents that are bigger in Texas- it will also be the size of my wins. A-Ri- at Destiny- I have a chance- nay- I WILL become the next EBWF Path To Glory Champion- which means I will once again become the EBWF World Champion. So this match to me is VERY VERY big- I will have a Texas resident gut sized level of excitement when I prove myself right- as I often do- and win this match on Sunday. If I seem confident- it's because I am- I have a little spring in my step today- and do you know why?
Alex Riley: Did you switch to boxers?
The Miz: Boxers? What are you 13? Boxer briefs bro.. grow up.
Alex pulled down his pants to reveal superman boxer shorts.. because of course.
Alex Riley: Superman bro..
The Miz: What? Why?
Alex Riley: I like to let the ladies know, that I'm the man of steel.
The Miz looked like he was sorry he asked.
The Miz: I'm sorry I asked.
See.
The Miz: The reason though, is not me switching to boxers. It's because I'm excited about the fact that once again order is about to be restored to this company. Once again normalcy is going to hit the airwaves of the EBWF- and the days of extremely mind boggling people enjoying success are going to be over. I mean Seth Rollins.. Jimmy Havoc... PJ Black... really? That is what we are calling the "champions" around here. In the name of all that is awesome.. so basically in the name of all that is me.. what is this world coming to, if those are the jamoaks that represent our company. That this company is throwing out there under the pretense that they are the best of the best, the top guys that we have to offer. I mean Sami Zayn is still freaking here? What? It's incredible the guy has been here for like 2 years now, and he hasn't said one original or interesting thing yet. It's like blah blah blah.. I'll give it my all.. blah blah blah... I'll win this match.. blah blah blah.. I'm a virgin. Like come on- and not only is he still here- he's still finding his way into these types of matches. He's still competing for the World Title or the Path To Glory Title.. or the title for biggest geek in the EBWF- fortunately for everyone- he's only winning number 3, and this Sunday he certainly won't be winning number 2. I actually saw Sami the other day at a restaurant- coloring in a coloring book..
Alex Riley: Coloring books are for kids though..
The Miz: I know..
Alex Riley: And he's not a kid..
The Miz: I know!
Alex Riley: So why was he coloring?
The Miz: I really just have no idea.. it's almost like the only thought that every goes through this guys head is like.. how can I do the LAMEST possible thing in every situation? What is the lamest thing I could possibly do- he then finds the answer- and then.. well he goes and does that thing,. So let's take this Sunday for example with that same logic. What is the lamest thing that Sami Zayn could do? Welp- I'd say he'd start by cutting a promo to all 4 of his fans- talking about how he's going to "beat us," and a bunch of other generic nonsense- this promo will go on for WAY longer than anybody cares to listen.. which mean it'll be at least 5 seconds long. After he gets done lying to his small stable of followers, the next lame thing to do would be to shout "OLE" or something stupid like that.. so he'll probably do that.. then he'll come out and proceed to just get in my way of kicking the crap out of PJ Black and taking his title, so he will bumble around the ring doing that for awhile. Sami Zayn and I in this match are like two guys at the bar going for the hot chick. One of the guys is really good looking and could easily get her, and the other guy is ugly.. like basically the red headed step child of the earth.. yet the only thing the second guy could do in this situation is ruin it for the good looking guy.. by just grossing the girl out so much that she leaves and doesn't go for either of them. Sami Zayn is the ugly read headed step child of this match, and the PTG Championship is the hot chick- and I'm of course the good looking guy- if you lost track of that analogy at home.. which let's face it.. you probably did.. because you're well.. stupid.
Alex Riley: So you're saying the good looking guy doesn't get the chick?
The Miz: No- the match at Destiny is basically going to be the equivalent of the good looking guy looking the Red headed ugly guy in the men's room- and then obviously scoring the hot babe. Let's face it- I always close.. look at this friggin face.
The Miz winked into the camera and A-Ri got excited.
Alex Riley: SO handsome bro..
The Miz: Alright relax.
Alex Riley: Sorry.
The Miz: It's alright- but seriously the point is- I'm not letting Sami Zayn get in my way of taking home the PTG Championship, and look I get it- I know that PJ Black has been the champion for almost a year.. I understand.. but do you know who else was the PTG Champion for a sickening amount of time.. Ted DiBi- freaking- ase. And that guy is pathetic. Only losers are the PTG Champion for any amount of time now a days, most of us just take the title cash it in and become the World Champion.. like you know.. I did. PJ Black- what a joke- talk about another guy who could put a crying baby to sleep- by just trying to come up with an interesting sentence. Why so angsty? You've won some matches- you have a title- you're dating a chick that's way to hot for you, and who definitely cheats on you.. like things are good. SMILE! At least while you still can, you are a guy PJ, that I've really just never gotten. Like how much time can one film themselves talking, before they are like "OH MY GOD.. I have NOT ONE cool thing to say!" I mean you and Sami should have your own freaking radio station that nobody would tune in to. The two of you, just go on and on and on, and all the while- I'm just like getting more and more fired up to beat the crap out of you, just so I won't have to listen to you guys yammer on and say a lot of words, that basically don't mean a damn thing, don't make me smile, don't make me laugh, don't intimidate me, don't interest me , don't confuse me.. well they kinda confuse me.. and what I'm confused about is who keeps deciding that either one of you should ever even be in front of the camera. You see me?
The Miz pulled the camera man closer to him.
Alex Riley: LOOK AT HIM!
The Miz: This is what a star looks like- you hear the words I've been saying? THAT is how you talk in front of a camera- the two of you both sound like you have total anxiety over talking in front of people- YET- ALL YOU DO IS TALK IN FRONT OF PEOPLE. If I sucked at ping pong- I just wouldn't friggin play- I don't suck at ping pong.. I'm actually awesome at it- along with everything else- but you get the point. I mean my god! SHUT UP! I feel like PJ in particular literally sits at his computer and takes notes as to what everybody says about him, like day in day out- just note scribbling away- so that when it's his turn to talk- he can just be like.. "remember in June of 2009.. when you called me a loser.. well.. I'm not a loser.. I'm a winner! I'M A WINNER! I'm going to yell louder so you know I'm serious.. I'm a WINNER.. I WIN! RAHHHHH!"
Alex Riley: RAHHH!
The Miz: I mean seriously- It's got to be absolutely exhausting to focus SO much on what other people say and think about you. That's why I choose to not give a remote crap about any of that kind of stuff. All I care about is continuing to be what I am- every god damn day of the week- and that is the cream of the crop-best of the best- your favorite wrestler's favorite wrestler- superest of stars- The Miz. What PJ Black and Sami Zayn say about me- mean absolutely nothing to me, all that matters to me when it comes to these two borezillas, is that they are standing in my way.. sort of.. kind of... well not really at all.. of becoming the Path To Glory Champion. PJ Black is the opposite- dude has a diary full of all the things people have said and done to him over the years. "Dear Diary- Miz once said that I suck.. I'll show him." It's pathetic.. well here you go PJ- here is another diary entry for you- I THINK THAT YOU BEING THE PATH TO GLORY CHAMPION IS A MOTHER EFFIN LAUGH RIOT. You are like a booger hanging out of the nose of the company- that nobody has the guts to tell the company about.. and I- The Miz- am going to be the god damn clean-ex. SO PJ- go ahead and blow... oh wait.. you already do..
Alex couldn't hold in his laughter at that joke- as the two men continued to walk down the streets of Texas.
The Miz: At Destiny- nobody is going to have to listen to you piss and moan about how you deserve more- they aren't going to have to hear you hold a grudge over something somebody said to you- or something they did 8 years ago- because all they will see is PRESENT DAY PJ Black getting absolutely owned, getting absolutely decimated by someone who is TRULY a better man in every way shape or form. FINALLY- they won't have to see PJ Black carrying around the EBWF Path To Glory Championship- unless you somehow find a way to win it- after I cash it in, to become the EBWF World Champion for the third time. This Sunday at Destiny I'm going to send you to the land of Misfit Ex Path To Glory Champions for 9,000 days- with my old friend Ted. You two can sit around and talk about how much you hate me, Ted could tell you about all the times I've beaten the crap out of him, and he may even be able to give you a couple of the cuff stories, that you can write in your diary, that you could later use in a bit that nobody will watch or be interested in at all. The thing that you won't be doing AFTER Destiny is parading around this place anymore- there's just no room for you, you are like a dark cloud on the otherwise Sunny Day that is this business. I love Sports Entertainment, and I love the EBWF- I just hate when people like you ruin it- because you are CONSTANTLY FORGETTING TO BE ENTERTAINING. Well I'm no weather man, although with this hair, this money maker, this smile, and this charisma I should be- but I'm predicting NO MORE dark clouds, no more rain, and no more PJ Black after this Sunday. This Sunday is step one- and whether it's AJ Styles or Chris Jericho who comes out on top in the main event, that will matter just about as much as whatever the hell PJ Black and Sami Zayn have to say this week- because it's only a matter of time, that The Miz returns to his rightful spot in this business.. THE TOP OF IT.
The Miz loudly sipped his slurpee and winked mid sip, as the scene faded to black.
The scene reopened live the morning of EBWF Destiny. The Miz was in his hotel room, packing a few things before heading over to the arena. A knock at the door was heard, and Miz- who was dressed in a blue nike t-shirt and white basketball shorts, answered the door. Renee Young was there on the other side. She looked beautiful, dressed in a yellow sun dress, that went to just above her knee. The Miz smirked.
The Miz: Wow Renee- how forward of you.. with a camera crew and everything.. I like it!
Renee looked repulsed.
Renee Young: Ew no. We were hoping to get a quick word with you about your match tonight, I do apologize for coming to your hotel room, but nobody knew when you were going to be at the arena. You haven't answered any of our calls.
The Miz: Look Renee, I'm The Miz okay? Do you know what that's like?
Renee went to answer, Miz cut her off.
The Miz: Of course you don't. My phone literally rings all day- whether it's people wanting me to do guest appearances, girls wanting to "hang out", the guys wanting me to go out on the town.. flirty interview girls who want me to give them some thoughts. It never stops- I'm used to it- so I'm not complaining, but neither should you if you try to call my cell phone and I don't answer.
Renee seemed disinterested.
Renee Young: Soo.. can we get a few words from you about tonight?
The Miz rolled his eyes.
The Miz: Alright whatever fine.. I'm already packed up for tonight- I'll give you a few minutes of my precious precious time. You want some thoughts about tonight? Well my thoughts about tonight are relatively simple, since those are the only thoughts my two opponents can understand. This Sunday night- the chances of me becoming the Path To Glory Championship- are 100 PERCENT Renee. They are 200 percent.. and I know 100 is the highest you can go- but the rules of mathematics don't apply to someone at my level of amazing. There is ZERO chance that I don't walk out of Destiny with the Path To Glory Championship over these broad perfect shoulders. There is a negative chance that I don't win.. and I know ZERO is the lowest you can go.. but again those rules of mathematics are no match for my greatness. Sami Zayn and PJ Black are two small acorns on a road.. and I am a Mack truck. If you aren't getting the imagery, because you're blonde and dumb.. I'm saying I'm going to run them the hell over, en route to becoming the EBWF Path To Glory Champion, which means I'll then be EN ROUTE to becoming the EBWF World Champion.. which means we are all EN ROUTE to seeing a lot more of me.. and I think.. no.. I know.. that this is EXACTLY what everybody needs. I'm not going to be humble Renee.. I'm not going to sit here and "Zayn" it and say that everybody has a shot tonight- may the best man win- because everybody doesn't have a shot- and I'm the best man.. so I will win. This isn't summer camp where everybody gets a ribbon, and if it was summer camp- I would take all the ribbons from everybody else and wear them in front of them. This is the EBWF the only people that get to be successful- are the people that are good enough to be successful. So sorry Zayn.. and sorry PJ Black- the fantasy land you've been living in.. is officially coming to an end.. and I know you know that I've said that to you before.. you'd probably have to flip pretty far back in your "I'm paranoid" journal to find it, but it's there. The good things in life.. and this business.. are going to return back to somebody who deserves them.. ME. At Destiny, the EBWF becomes what it should always be.. a place where only the best.. only the strongest.. can survive. Not everybody can be the lead in the play.. not everybody can be the quarterback.. not everybody can be the CEO of a company.. the world needs the human tree.. the 3rd string kicker.. and the guys who work in the mail room.. so don't worry Zayn and PJ.. you'll still have a spot.. you'll still have a purpose.. sure it'll be a crappy spot.. and a pretty irrelevant purpose.. but let's face it.. it's what you deserve. Sunday the lime light, the spot light, all the lights will be back on The Miz.. because Sunday- I will be RIGHT BACK on my PATH TO THE GLORY- THAT YOU GET FROM BEING THE #1 Man in this business- WHICH I AM..
BECAUSE I'M THE MIZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ANNNNNNNND I'MMMMMMMMMMMMM
AWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
The Miz waved his fingers at Renee and the camera to leave his hotel room. She shook her head in disbelief, that there was literally no give and take in this interview. The camera left the room, and the scene faded to black.