Renee Young was seen walking down a hallway backstage at the Sprint Center.

Renee Young: Hello EBWF.net and fans watching around the world, we are just hours away from Survivor Series kicking off here in Kansas City, Missouri! Hold on… Edge! Randy!

The camera panned to find Rated RKO walking through the entryway into the backstage area of the arena.

Edge: Randy! We are being summoned.

Randy Orton: Well, how do you like that.

Renee moved over to them.

Renee Young: Gentlemen, you have a match tonight against…

Randy Orton: I’m sorry, what?

Edge: Yes, Renee, no comprende.

Renee Young: You have a match tonight against.

Randy Orton: We have a match tonight?

Edge: Rated RKO has a match…. tonight?

Randy Orton: That’s impossible. Is it the Royal Rumble?

Edge: No.

Randy Orton: Is it Wrestlemania?

Edge: Nope.

Randy Orton: Is it Fanniversary?

Edge: Randy it’s November.

Randy Orton: Which means it’s not Christmas Eve of Destruction either.

Edge: Cool.

Randy Orton: What?

Edge: That’s cool.

Randy Orton: Correctamundo!

Renee Young: Oh God, no. Not this…

Edge: Renee, Renee, honey, chill. Jules doesn’t even show up in that scene until later. There’s no other dialogue to be had.

Randy Orton: The point is, there’s no way we have a match tonight, because it is Survivor Series. It isn’t one of the big four, and we are part. timers.

Edge: Part timers! Us!

Randy Orton: That’s right. We travel 310 days a year, but we are part timers. Ask. anyone.

Edge: We pull more cash and more chicks into this place than that weirdo Jimmy Havoc!

Renee Young: That’s actually your opponent. Jimmy Havoc and Baron Corbin will be taking you on here tonight.

Randy Orton: You mean Brian Kendrick lite and his semi-elite goon?

Edge: Oh, oh… man, poor reference. The world had almost forgotten you were in The Elite.

Randy looked over at Edge, clearly unimpressed. Then Edge seemed to have a thought.

Edge: Oh sweet Lord baby Jesus, is this match for the EBWF Tag Team Championships.

Randy groaned.

Randy Orton: No, not that, anything but that.

Edge: My friend here has PTASD!

Renee Young: PT-A-SD?

Edge: Post-Title-Asymmetrical Disorder.

Renee Young: You just made that up.

Randy Orton: Yes, he did.

Edge: We carried those titles for FIVE HUNDRED AND THIRTEEN DAYS!

The crowd in the arena had actually shouted out the number with Edge and he looked quite smug about it.

Randy Orton: See, they know.

Edge: Do you know what happens to a man’s physique when he has to awkwardly carry around twenty-two pounds of title belt on one side for FIVE HUNDRED AND THIRTEEN DAYS?

Renee shook her head.

Edge: His perfectly sculpted biceps became ASYMMETRICAL!

Randy Orton: What my friend is saying is that we don’t particularly want those back. They’re heavy and they’re kind of a bitch to pack.

Edge: We also have it on pretty good authority that whoever holds those belts are going to have to defend them against the only other tag team EBWF has left.

Randy Orton: EBWF has other tag teams?

Edge: It’s The Broken, Sydal’s new band of ingrates…

Randy Orton: …which I’m pretty sure he put together by hitting the Wikipedia randomizer button… who else?

Edge: Slyck Wagner Brown…

Randy Orton: What hole did he crawl out of?

Edge: I think he crawled straight out of Middle Earth because dude bought Gollum with him.

Randy made a face as if he was about to ask a question. Renee interrupted.

Renee Young: His partner is James Ellsworth.

Randy Orton: Who…

Edge: Don’t. Just don’t. It’s fine. What my friend and I are saying is that we do not want to be the Tag Team Champions.

Renee Young: You don’t want the championships?

Edge: No. We do not. We did not want them the last two times they had us challenge for them.

Randy Orton: What Edge is saying is that we have transcended the EBWF Tag Team Championships. Degeneration X, The Hart Foundation, The Outsiderz, The Thrillseekers. As the longest reigning, any division, all-time record holders in EBWF history, we have joined them…

Edge: Surpassed them, actually. But go on…

Randy Orton: We have jumped to the head of the class beyond the most legendary tag teams in history.

Edge: The only reason we would possibly want the Tag Championships would be to beat our own record, and even we would have to admit that’s slightly overkill.

Renee Young: So are you saying you won’t fight this match? Or you’ll throw it? Corbin and Havoc are out for blood and prestige.

Randy Orton: Are those their words, Renee?

Renee Young: They are.

Randy Orton: I’m saying we’ll beat them 1…2…3 and then drape their battered bodies with the belts they cherish. Insignificant blips on the EBWF landscape need titles to feel important. We don’t need titles. The title is in our name. Rated RKO, the longest reigning champions, longest serving EBWF Tag Team in EBWF history. Randy Orton, the youngest World Heavyweight Champion in industry history, two time EBWF Wrestler of the Year, check the record book, still your longest. reigning. EBWF World Champion.

He looked over at his tag partner.

Randy Orton: And Edge.

Edge scoffed.

Edge: I fucking hate you sometimes.

That made Renee smirk.

Randy Orton: So Renee, when you’re done gawking at greatness, I want you to take those pretty blue eyes, and go bat them at Jimmy Havoc and his stooge and let them know that that if bloodshed and prestige is what they’re after, they’re not going to take it off of our backs, but if they aren’t careful, they might stumble upon it when we put them on theirs.

Edge: Enjoy this moment with true superstars boys.

Randy Orton: If you play real nice, when we’re through demolishing you, we’ll let you keep your shiny, worthless toys.

Rated RKO both shot Renee a long look that let her know she had no other questions as the EBWF.net exclusive buffered to an add for EBWF Shop.