Pampering

[Cory]

"Meeeeooooooowwwwwwww"

The doleful howls of bloody murder echoed through the entire building as Renee Young and EBWF's senior cameraman Drew made their way around. They were on location at what appeared to be a high end pet boutique, decorated with lavish drapes, colorful furniture and stocked to the gills with every locally sourced, farm to table pet treat you could imagine. It felt like even walking into the room would cost someone $100. Renee followed the sounds of the torturous cries that seemed to emanate from the back. As she got closer, she could hear an all too familiar voice barking orders.

Natalya: You're HURTING him. Use soft hands! He's a pureblood prince, not just some stray tabby. His lineage can be traced back to the cats worshipped by Egyptians. NO! Hold him like THIS!

Renee, EBWF branded mic in hand, approached the scene. The reigning, defending, undisputed EBWF Women's Champion was hunched over a small, decorated porcelain tub. She was lovingly cooing a small, shivering life form that was soaking wet from head to toe. As Nattie moved to one side, it was obvious that she was doting over 2Pawz, who was getting a bath and not liking a single moment of it.

Assistant: Uh, ma'am, I've been doing this for thirteen years. I promise you this will go a lot faster if you would just--

Natalya: Excuse me?! Do you even KNOW who this is? This is 2Pawz... okay?

Assistant: Yes, I saw the forms. I'd be happy to--

Natalya: 2Pawz is a celebrated internet PHENOMENON. If just one hair on his head is in the wrong place, not only will you have me to answer to, but the thousands...

She stopped and paused, visibly counting something in her head.

Natalya: Nay, MILLIONS of instagram followers to answer to.

2Pawz let out another pathetic mewl as Natalya scratched him behind the ears.  Nattie, dressed in a leather jacket and pants, and her hair done up in two small buns on the top of her head that looked suspiciously like cat ears, washed her hands and finally addressed Renee.

Natalya: Do you see what I have to put up with here? Complete and utter incompetence. You know, I have a match to think about on Warfare, and these people are stressing me out.

The assistant rolled her eyes and continued her work getting 2Pawz clean.

Natalya: This wouldn't even have been an issue if it weren't for the fact that that 21 year old blonde hussy put her grimey hands on my sweet baby 2Pawz. Ever since he's been seeing a therapist twice a week, and I've had to take him to this place to get bathed twice now, just to get the stench of New Jersey out of his fur.

Renee Young: So, we're here on location at this animal salon so that you can show me how 2Pawz gets a bath?

Natalya: No, you're here on location because I'm the Women's Champion, and you go where I tell you to go. Got it? I'm here because 2Pawz has been utterly traumatized by his experience. Only now are we possibly close to getting that harrowing ordeal out of his mind. 2Pawz is an icon, Renee. He's the most handsome cat on Instagram. Just look at him.

Renee did as she was told, nodding quietly. In normal capacity 2Pawz was a fluffy, bulky cat. When soaking wet, he looked like a drowned rat. With a snaggletooth. Renee internally thought that it may have been the ugliest cat she had ever seen in her lifetime.

Natalya: This has been what I have been spending my time with. Making sure that this little slice of royalty is pampered the way he deserves. That's why you're here, Renee. You're here to document how the true winners in life go through their day.

Renee Young: Well, speaking of winners, congratulations on your successful title defense at WrestleMania. Tomorrow, you're scheduled to face Alexa Bliss in a non-title match at Warfare.

Natalya: Oh yes. I'm well aware of that. Before my big match with... Eva Marie... I'm to face Alexa Bliss first.

Renee Young: She was quite irritated that she was unsuccessful in her bid to become the number one contender for the EBWF Women's Championship.

Natalya: Ah, well. You know how it is with failure, Renee.

Nattie gave her a hard stare and Renee rolled her eyes.

Natalya: Alex Bliss. The fairy tale princess, who turned into the Wicked Witch, who then transformed into a loser. She lost her shot at the Royal Rumble when she got dumped out by Liv Morgan. You know, that girl I beat? And then she lost to...

Nattie scoffed.

Natalya: ...All Black Everything, or whatever the hell she's calling herself these days. Eva Marie. A plastic barbie doll with interchangeable hair color. You know, I actually enjoy watching Alexa Bliss. The way she gets angry and flies off the handle, it reminds me of a small part of me that's always there. A part of me that Liv Morgan witnessed first hand when she assaulted my 2Pawz. The difference between me and Alexa Bliss though? I've learned how to channel that anger in the ring, and become the most dominant woman in wrestling today. There was a time last year when Alexa Bliss was able to do that.

Renee Young: She did defeat your best friend Trish Stratus--

Natalya: FORMER. Best friend. Now disgraced third wheel.

Renee Young: She did defeat Trish Stratus to become the Women's Champion at WrestleMania 15.

Natalya: Yeah, that's awful great. I would sarcastically clap but I don't even care that much. I could beat Trish on her best day, Renee. In fact, I already did beat Trish. I beat her down, embarassed her, and made her second guess her entire career. I ended Trish Stratus. Alexa Bliss may have had ended her title reign, but I ended HER. Anything impressive that Alexa Bliss can lay claim to? I've already done it.

Renee Young: Switching gears, can you give us some more clarity around the newsworthy announcement that you made last week when you renounced your family heritage?

Natalya: I don't think I could have made myself any clearer, Renee. Were you not listening? I told the world that I have disowned my family. For years I have felt beholden to the Hart Family Dynasty. This idea that the Harts are wrestling royalty, and by extension me. But the truth is? I am royalty with or without them. Every time I step between those ropes, I put everything I have on the line. I scratch, and I claw, and a step on anything on my path. But despite how hard I work, I have to endure the agonizing comparison of my wrestling to Bret Hart, or my father Jim the Anvil. I have to hear about how I have Uncles and Dads and Grandfathers and Grandmothers who have lived their entire lives involved in the wrestling business. FORGET THEM, Renee! What do they have to do with me? I am Natalya, the Iron Maiden of EBWF. There is no one that can compare to me. Not my uncles, not my Dad, nobody. I am in a class of my own and I deserve to be treated as such. So, I am done talking about the Hart Family. My career is my own, and I will not have it dragged down by pink and black wrestling gear, tired wrestling catchphrases, and awful entrance music. I'm my own woman.

Renee Young: If you're going to distance yourself from everything related to the Harts, does that mean you will abandon the Sharpshooter submission maneuver?

Natalya smirked, shaking her head at the diminutive journalist.

Natalya: As big of an ego as my uncle has, even he is fully aware that the Sharpshooter was used in Japan long before he had the move. It's a submission move that works for me. It earned me my EBWF Women's Championship, and I will continue to use it so long as people keep tapping out to it. Alexa Bliss will be the next in a long line of people who have given up due to that move.

Renee Young: Looming in front of you is a title match against Eva Marie, who successfully became Number One contender at WrestleMania. As you...

Renee looked around the lavish cat boutique. She cocked an eyebrow.

Renee Young: ...prepare for your matchup against Alexa Bliss, how much does the match with Eva Marie factor into your thoughts?

Natalya: It doesn't. Not one bit. My only concern right now is making sure that I don't add one more potential contender to the list of people going after me. I may be a wrestler, but I'm also a businesswoman. I know that if Alexa Bliss somehow manages to eke out a win tomorrow night, that she then becomes another girl with an argument for getting a title shot. I like to keep the field nice and narrow, Renee. I'm not interested in lining up a bevy of contenders for MY title. Alexa Bliss couldn't get the job done at the Royal Rumble. Then she couldn't get the job done at WrestleMania when she got yet ANOTHER shot at becoming a number one contender. Now, she has a non-title match against the champion. And she's no dummy Renee, she knows if she can sneak a win she'll go right to the front of the line, for yet another opportunity. Now, I may be a kind, gentle, giving champion. But Santa Claus I am not. I'm not going to hand out another contendership opportunity to Alexa, who has BLISSED away every opportunity that she has been given so far.

Renee Young: Are you saying that you're concerned that Alexa might be a credible contender to your EBWF Women's Championship?

Natalya gave her a utterly deadpan expression. Silence followed, and Renee shifted uncomfortably until Nattie finally responded.

Natalya: Is that what you think of me, Renee? I am a two-time EBWF Women's Champion. Three time Women's Tag Champion. I have beaten the best the women's division has to offer. I beat the best the previous women's division had to offer as well. I've beaten them all. I dragged this company, kicking and screaming, into an era of class and dignity amongst women. I've done all of this for the EBWF, and you're going to stand there and ask me if I'm sweating Alexa Bliss? No, Renee. I'm not "concerned that Alexa might be a credible contender". I'm concerned that SHE might start to think that she's a credible contender. That's a dangerous mindset, sweetie. If Alexa starts to think that she's good enough to fight me for MY Women's Championship, then she just might work hard enough to earn a shot. Do you know what happens then, Renee?

Renee Young: Uh, she gets a match?

Natalya: Yes.

Natalya's tone softened considerably, but still carried a disingenuous element to it.

Natalya: She gets a match. And then, I am faced with the grave responsibility of reminding her who I am. The best women's wrestler in any company, on any continent. I'll have to make sure she remembers that for the rest of her career. Ask Paige how that went. Ask Liv Morgan how that went. Ask Stacy Keibler. Or Lita. Or Sasha Banks. They'll all tell you the same thing. The most dangerous place in the world to be in, if you're a women's wrestler, is the corner opposite me. And if Alexa Bliss mistakenly begins to believe that she belongs there, I'm just going to have to remind her how dangerous it can be.

At this point, Nattie had leaned very close to the mic, speaking lowly and forcing Renee to strain to listen to her. Nattie's eyes drifted over in the direction of her prized family member.

Natalya: HEY.

Her sudden outburst startled Renee who looked in the direction Nattie was locked on.

Natalya: What is that?!

She stormed off towards the assistant.

Natalya: Did I SAY I wanted a blue bow on him? Just the hat and the glitter. We TALKED about this over the phone!

Having completely lost the focus of her interviewee, Renee turned to face the camera which now centered on her.

Renee Young: Don't miss Warfare, live tomorrow night at 8PM on the A&E Network!

The camera cut to black as the mic barely picked up unintelligible rants from the Women's Champion. The EBWF logo flashed in the corner as the feed closed out.