Tag Teams? Pffft.

[Cat]

*A pale skinned, dark haired female sat on the couch of a hotel room. She quietly sipped from a glass of tea and the room was incredibly silent. A table sat in front of her that had a tea kettle, black with bat wings on it, and a few coffee cakes. That was until the door went swinging open.*

Maryse: Daffney! Check it! I figured out how we can REALLY get noticed around here!

*Maryse had barged in and was carrying what looked like a strippers pole and a basket ball. She sprung onto the table and a few clanging noises were heard from the tea kettle being shook around The blond was wearing a red, cocktail dress.*

Maryse: Here this is the EBWF!

*She shoved the basket ball into the other woman's hands and spread her arms out wide.*

Maryse: And the rest of the room is all of outer space!

"Daffney" Ok, I don't get it..

*Maryse paused for a long moment and looked down at Daffney.*

Maryse: Why the hell are you talking with a British accent?! And JESUS CHRIST did you fall into a time portal or something?! You look way younger!

"Daffney" Because I'm not Daffney.

*The French Canadian paused again. Pale skin. Black hair. Gothic Lolita clothing. Dark make up underneath of the eyes. Even the same half-skeleton, half-cat stuffed animal that Daffney had been packing around.*

Paige: I'm Paige. You know who said he wanted a fresher, hotter goth chick. So here I am. Something about hitting a demographic.

*Maryse knew exactly who this "Paige" was talking about. Her expression was blank for a moment before snapping her finger. Maybe she was just really drunk?*

Maryse: Alright, whatever! Focus!

*She simply shrugged off the 1980's sitcom switcharoo.*


Maryse: OK, so let's say that we get this big ass pole, like, it's really HORRIBLE EXPLETIVEing long, right? Then we stick that onto the EBWF like this.

*Maryse placed the stripper pole onto the basket ball that Paige was holding.*

Maryse: See? This is you. Now pay attention.

*Maryse took the skele-cat stuffed animal and began to poorly imitate a British accent.*

Maryse: "God damn it! What is that pole?" And then you start walking up it like anyone would do..

*She began to walk the stuffed animal up the pole while Paige kept it in place. She balanced on one leg to make herself tall enough to get the cat to the top.*

Maryse: And you just keep going higher and higher until..guess what?! C'mon! You're not guessing! Give me something to work with! Any time, Daffney! I mean, Paige!

Paige: ..Huh..


Maryse: Don't be a BITCH! If you keep on climbing higher where the hell do you go?!

Paige: The top of the pole.

Maryse: JESUS!

*Maryse began to wave her free hand around frantically*

Maryse: Up here is space, get it?! It's the universe! The room is the whole cosmos! All we have to do is stick a pole in the ground and crawl up to space! It's so simple now that I've said it outloud, don't you think?

Paige: I think you're ignoring things like physics and, you know, oxygen, but yeah. I see what you're saying. And why would we want to do that again?

Maryse: Stop acting like an idiot! Paige! It's a metaphor! We're entering the tag team invitational!

*Paige dropped the pole and the basket ball and stuttered for a moment.*

Paige: Wait, what? That's for guys.

Maryse: And?

Paige: We're women.


Maryse: Big deal! Guys are stupid and easy! They're all "HUHUHUHUH! WELCOME TO THE GUN SHOW!" and "LOOK HOW BIG MY COCK IS! HUHHUHUHUH!"

Paige: This sounds like an absolutely awful idea.

Maryse: If we win a battle royal with a bunch of GUYS we can't be ignored! And if we win the tag team titles we'll be HUGE! I'll just flirt with them and you go over and punch them in the dick! Simple!

Paige: Well, that is something I'm into. Masochism is a really big turn on. But I think we should do some kind of training first..

*Cue The Rocky theme as the scene changed. Paige was shown wearing a black sweat suit with hair hair pulled back into a ponytail and purple colored running shoes. Even her gothy stuffed animal was wearing a sweat band. In a park she was shown jumping rope, sprinting and doing push-ups and set-ups. The montage ended with Paige looking about in confusion.*

Paige: Where the hell is Maryse?

*A red mustang parked by a tree with fogging windows rocked back and forth and a pair of bare feet could be seen pressing against the glass.*

Paige: What are you doing?! You're supposed to be training!

Maryse: I! Am! Training! This! Guy! Looks! Just! Like! Channing! Tatum!

Paige: [HORRIBLE EXPLETIVE] this. I'm going to see if I can find some Jelly Babies in this country..

*Paige scowled and walked off while the car continued to rock about a little faster*