A sigh was heard as the European superstar sat back on his chair backstage... Leaning back, both arms behind his shaved head, his eyes looking up into the ceiling, so hard the Swiss Superman could pierce a hole through it with his heat vision anytime now.

Cesaro: Braun... Braun Strowman.

A quick Wikipedia search would tell him everything he needed to know... 385 pounds, which was only 20 pounds less than what he could Benchpress the last time he checked, a staggering six feet and eight Inches... Only three inches above him. If Cesaro wanted to be the first ever Swiss king in the history of EBWF, he'd have to climb Mt. Strowman and Conquer it, a feat that sounded quite plausible considering his alpine origin. The thought brought a smile to his face. Cesaro's attention was drawn away from the screen of his cellphone by a knock on the door, followed by the sliding of a sealed paper envelope. Cesaro stood up from the chair he was pondering upon and grabbed a hold of the envelope. The sound of ripping paper filled the room as he inspected the contents of the envelope... His lips curved up in a confident smirk before the door being swung open by Michael Cole.

Michael Cole: Excuse me... Did you have anything to do with those two...?

Cesaro: What do you mean?

Michael Cole: Two guys rushed past your door and slipped something under...

Cesaro: Under my door? It was probably just a FedEx delivery...

Michael Cole: Believe me, I know a FedEx delivery when I see one. Those were NOT FedEx guys, and they looked awfully familiar...

Cesaro: Like they were brothers?

Michael Cole: Yes!

Cesaro: The Dudleys?

Michael Cole: Do they look like brothers?

Cesaro: Same Mannerisms. How shallow are you, really?

Michael Cole: They superkicked someone on their way out.

Cesaro: Lance Storm has no brothers.

Cesaro shrugged.

Cesaro: Probably unimportant, Cole. Have you heard of the saying "don't kill the messenger"?

Michael Cole: Are those super kicking guys working for you then?

Cesaro: Now, now... Don't get ahead of yourself. Do I look like I need someone to work for me? Besides, I don't have to give any tax renditions back home, why would I need to give you any explanations? If it weren't for you, I wouldn't even know this envelope was given to me by two guys. But I do know they've helped me realize something massive coming into my next match against Braun Strowman...

Cesaro signaled for Cole to come over. He showed him the contents of the envelope.

Michael Cole: ...That... How did you?

Cesaro shrugged and flicked what looked like two photographs. Concealed by the movement of his wrist. He then put them back in the envelope and placed it down.

Cesaro: I'm pretty sure a search online would show quite a few similar pictures.

Michael Cole: It can't be...

Cesaro: You know what cannot be? The fact that despite being the last man eliminated from the Elimination Chamber after doing ALL OF THE WORK for the laziest EBWF World Champion in history... I am jumping through hoops of fire to get the rematch I rightfully deserve... The first one being the monstrous Braun Strowman. You know what else cannot be? Braun Strowman standing a chance against the man of steel from the land of chocolate. You see, lifting Braun and giving him the ride of his life on board of the Swinging Swiss Sensation known as Cesaro sounds like another day of the gym for me, but like a completely new and exciting thing for you to experiment, doesn't it?

Michael Cole: How are you using those incriminating photos to your advantage?

Cesaro: Who do you take me for? I'm a professional, Michael. They don't call me the Swiss Superman just because I'm... Oh, they actually call me the Swiss Superman because I hail from Switzerland, and I'm an exceptional human being! Anyway, these just help me stay focused and motivated... Remember my opponent is nothing more than flesh and bones... At the end of the day, no matter how hard he fights it, how much he hides it, he has feelings inside... Wants, needs, desires. Unfortunately for him, none of those are going to get fulfilled tonight.

Cesaro smiled, happy he finally realized the whole "Swiss Superman" thing.

Cesaro: The point I am trying to make is: Braun Strowman has never faced an exceptional human being until tonight! He's going to get in that ring, and he's going to experience being tossed around like a 385lb barbell on a gym mat. I'm going to own him the same way I own Yodeling contests! Do you know why? Because the sovereign land of the Swiss deserves a king like me. Braun Strowman might be one of the biggest mountains to climb here... Sadly for him, I was born and raised in the land where conquering peaks and mountains one hundred times his size is what we do for fun.

Michael Cole: Not to debunk your overly confident thoughts, Cesaro. But you have to admit Braun Strowman has been an unstoppable force ever since he stormed in EBWF.

Cesaro: I said it before and I will say it again... Braun Strowman meets his very first REAL challenge tonight. Not to be harsh on all the guys in the back who have tried to stop him and failed miserably... Braun is... A wonder, and that pun was TOTALLY intended.

Cesaro winked at the camera.

Cesaro: As Wonderous as he might be, however... He's not cut and built for Royalty. Are you familiar with "Game of Thrones" Michael?

Michael Cole: As a matter of fact, I am.

Cesaro: Do you consider Hodor could ever sit on the Iron throne?

Michael Cole: Doubt it.

Cesaro: Because he doesn't have the looks, the wisdom, the experience, the charisma and probably the odor to sit on a throne and call the shots. Throughout his career, Braun has shown he's more interested about Carnage, about breaking bones, separating shoulders, destroying private property... Even more than actually outwrestling someone. I can't say I blame him... He's probably angry at the world, he's always rambling on how he'd love to see the world burn, on how he wants to massacre his opponents and whatnot... I would be constantly pissed too if pictures of myself in a Wonder Woman costume were leaked on the internet. So, Michael Cole... To answer your questions: YES, Braun Strowman is strong... YES, Braun Strowman is tough. YES, Braun has destroyed every single one of the opponents he has faced in the past. YES, it would be stupid to underestimate Braun Strowman.

Cesaro ran a hand over his recently shaved head.

Cesaro: However, NO: Strowman is NOT stronger than Cesaro... With my current lifting record at 405 pounds, lifting him up will be a Warm up exercise. As tough as he might be... NO, Strowman is not tougher than any thing these eyes have seen, these fists have chipped more teeth than his and I swear to God, Braun Strowman's hideous face is not even half as scary or intimidating as moving away from your country with little to no money to get wrestling training while not knowing if you're going to make it. You can list me Braun's victims over and over again... I can assure you he has NEVER faced someone like Cesaro. Understimating someone like him is not only reckless, it is stupid. But you know what is more reckless and stupid? Going all out to attack someone who is cold as ice, someone who knows how to exploit every single sweet spot his oversized, unflexible, heavy and slow body has to offer. You go out and try to outwrestle Cesaro and you lose that fight 11 out of 10 times... Too bad Braun's only two neurones will be focused on the amount of pain I will be inflicting on him once he is locked in the Sharpshooter in the middle of the ring instead of doing the math and realizing his odds as well as his IQ are both close to zero.

Cesaro joined his fingers and thumb on both hands to illustrate the number Zero, like Elmo usually did on Braun's favorite show: Sesame street.

Cesaro: Are you ready Braun? Are you willing to go head to head with the toughest, best technical wrestler in this side of the globe, today? Ready or not... It's not like you have a choice... Prepare for the hunter to turn into the hunted. Welcome to the big leagues, Braun


Cesaro walked away as the scene faded to a commercial break.