______ Mahal

[Kamden]

“Banana Clipper” by Run the Jewels played over the sound system and it was game time. GTA came out to the top of the ramp, microphones in hand.

Enzo Amore: WHAT IT DO NEW YORK TIMES TWO!

Trent: I fucking hate equations.

Enzo’s mojo was squashed for the moment, so Trent and the breakout champ made their way down the ramp and to the ring. Trent shrugged, slowly looking over at Enzo as they walked down the ring he clearly mouthed out “What? I really do.”

As GTA got into the ring, we could still hear Trent and Enzo talking about Trent’s hatred for math equations.

Enzo Amore: Bro, equations are the EASIEST part of math! They give you the answer! All you gotta do is put the numbers in the right spot and BOOM!

The certified G from Jersey had held up the mic at a prime moment. His voiced boomed throughout the arena.

Trent: I gobstopped my math teacher, it was easier than that.

Trent wiggled his eyebrows with a smirk on his face.

Enzo Amore: Is that a metaphor or summin’, cuz you’re doin’ the thing with your eyebrows, man.

Now Enzo was wiggling his eyebrows as well. He was trying to make them do the worm but it only made his face contort weirdly.

Trent: That was actually a Mathephor. Like the joke about the math book who committed suicide… Cause too many problems. You know who else has a heap load of trouble?

Enzo Amore: Well it ain’t us ‘cuz we’re standin’ here tonight in front of all these nice people out here.

Trent: No, it ain’t us… Cos we’re Gs. I’m talking about your King of the Ring opponent…

Enzo Amore: Oh yeah man. Gender Mahal. We know you’re a dude, dude. You keep sayin’ how you’re already a king. NEWSFLASH, BRO. YOU ARE NOT. THIS IS WHY YOU ARE IN THE KIIIING OF THE RING TOURNAMENT!

Trent: King? Swinger Mahal can’t be king of nothing.

Enzo Amore: Who wants to be a king anyway, when you can be a god... damn G! G is for Ginger Mahal. Your tan makes you look orange.

Trent: Everything about him is wrong, have you seen his ugly mug? His disgusting veiny arms! Once you’re done with him he’ll be Cinder Mahal, BURN!

Enzo Amore: All of the ladies swipe LEFT on TINDER MAHAL! DENIED! REJECTED!

Trent: In fact, he’s going to be so embarrassed about getting his ass handed to himself he will quit EBWF and compete in American Idol… As Singer Mahal. But then he’s going to get eliminated from that as well… And his family will call him STINKER MAHAL.

Enzo Amore: And the only person he can point his FINGER MAHAL AT HIS HIMSELF! AND THEN HE WILL BE WASHIN’ WINDERS MAHAL AT A SALOON IN OKLAHOMA!

Trent: Or working at an Office depot… As Printer Mahal! I was gonna say FedEx but Uncle Lance doesn’t take in WIMPS.

Enzo Amore: I’m gonna knock him out cold and his new name will be WINTER MAHAL!

Trent: His career is going down the toilet… Wither Mahal. But you know something? Enzo, we’ve talked about all kinds of shit Jinder Mahal Can be… But there’s one freaking thing he’ll never be… Winner Mahal.

Enzo Amore: You got that right, Trent… So JERRY SPRINGER MAHAL, if ya got somethin’ to say, if you got somethin’ to prove, make your way down that ramp and to this ring so I can uppercut your ass right through this roof… INJURE MAHAL! BADA. BOOM!

Trent: Hey Enzo, who does your hair? Tinter Mahal?

GTA doubled over laughing and knee-slapping as the crowd cheered.

Corey Graves: What disrespect. This is sickening.

Joey Styles: Where’s your sense of humor, Corey? Don’t be such a Whimper Mahal!

Corey Graces: Make it stop!

Enzo and Trent waited in the ring for Jinder’s music to hit from inside the ring.

[Ben M]

Thank you for posting this, it made me laugh!