Still Bossy

[Ashlee]

You don’t have to love me…

You don’t even have to like me.

But you will respect me.

You know why?

Cuz I’m a boss...

The house show crowd was amped up as the sassy theme music announced the arrival of one of the Queen of the Ring finalists, Trish Stratus. While the live event was not being broadcast on television, several of the the audience members were broadcasting live to Facebook and Youtube and the crowd reacted when Trish Stratus came from behind the curtain in a pair of black hotpants and a t-shirt that was tied up under the bust. She wore a pair of shutter shades and turned her hand, revealing the “Boss” knuckle ring on her hand. She did a mocking rendition of Sasha Banks’ entrance taunt and the crowd was giving “ooohs” as she whipped off the sunglasses, and tossed them to the side of the ramp. Trish proceeded to the ring, and took a microphone from one of the crew members.

Trish Stratus: You guys seem surprised.

She gave a sarcastic chuckle, and shook her head.

Trish Stratus: Sasha Banks has been walking around EBWF for a few years now, just WISHING she was me so I thought I’d come out here and show her how a true boss handles business. Sash - I saw you out here last week, running your mouth, and doing what you do by dogging anyone and everyone who steps into the ring. Talking about how you are about to be a three time EBWF Women’s Champion…

There was a mixed reaction.

Trish Stratus: Naw, naw...let me stop you right there. What do you say? I think it’s no, boo boo.

Another “oooh” from the crowd as Trish rolled her eyes.

Trish Stratus: It’s my turn to come for the EBWF Women’s Championship. Last week, you spouted off your short list of accolades, saying that none of the haters could say they were a two time women’s champ and blah, blah… You’re looking at a hater right here, Ms. Boss. And do you know what this hater can say? 3 time EBWF Women’s Tag Champ, 7x EBWF Women’s Champion, Women’s Royal Rumble Winner, Queen of the Ring, longest reigning EBWF Women’s Champion in history… how’s that for what your haters can say?

She gave a little, sarcastic shrug.

Trish Stratus: And I didn’t need the no-talent, Mean Girls, to get any of it done either. I did virtually all of that on my own. That’s how a real boss gets things done. If I know Sasha Banks, she’s going to say that it’s easy to do all of that when you’ve been around since the stone age, but she knows the truth. The EBWF fans know the truth. You’ll never admit it Sasha, but you know you’ve been watching me since you were twelve years old. You know that I’m the reason you even get paid to be in this game today. You know I’m the best women’s wrestler to ever grace the ring. I’m not ashamed to say it. I said I had done virtually all of this on my own. I can admit Natalya did her part when it came to being a team. But that’s over now, and it’s about damn time that Nattie get her comeuppance.

The crowd cheered that.

Trish Stratus: Now, it isn’t lost on me that we don’t even really know if Natalya will be EBWF Women’s Champion come Summerslam. There is a number one contendership match at King of the Ring, and Velvet Sky is going to beat Poison, Eva Marie and Rebel in a fatal fourway match. That’s going to set up Natalya and Velvet at Sacrifice, and I’ll be Queen of the Ring, so that will remind everyone why the mainstay ladies of EBWF are still the best, and Sasha can continue her campaign of mediocrity. This isn’t going to be the big sequel to last year’s summer blockbuster. The last relevant thing you did was win the 2016 Queen of the Ring, and then go on to beat that hack Alexa Bliss at Summerslam. Girl, I hear you bragging about that second women’s title reign, but it was as forgettable as your Women’s Tag Championships. What happened to those again?

Trish chuckled.

Trish Stratus: Christmas Eve of Destruction is where you showed yourself for the fool that you really are. You young, naive little thing. You seriously agreed to defend your championship, against Natalya, in a submission match. Natalya and I have had our differences, yes, and I know you’re all about the SWERVE… but Sash, honey, this was one of those situations where you just needed to stay in your lane. Coming for Natalya with your piddly ass little crossface submission. Like taking a slingshot to a gunfight.

She shook her head.

Trish Stratus: She beat you. She took the title. Sunday night, at the pay-per-view, I’m going to take your crown. All your bluster, all your bravado, calling yourself The Boss, calling yourself the HBIC… Sasha, I know that’s all just a front you put on to convince yourself that you’re confident. It comes off a little bitchy, and pretty disingenuous. But I know all about you, because I was you. I did this too when I was 25. Ran my mouth, showed disrespect to women who made it possible for me to do what I loved. Those women knocked me on my ass, and taught me that I wasn’t allowed to be disrespectful until I’d paid my dues. I’m going to beat you on principle, and maybe kick your head clean off your shoulders so you can’t keep movin’ your lips.

She paced the ring a bit.

Trish Stratus: I’ve made it this far. And I’m not going to stop until I have my 7th women’s championship around my waist. I know we already took a little trip down memory lane and revisited your loss to Natalya at Christmas Eve of Destruction, but your first title reign… you beat AJ Lee. Of course, that’s like saying you beat an egg, who hasn’t?

She rolled her eyes.

Trish Stratus: Who was it that ended that first title reign?

She tapped her chin as if thinking.

Trish Stratus: I mean that was really the advent of The Boss wasn’t it? You ran roughshod over everything. You were the next big thing. How did that all end for you?

She doubled over in mock laughter, and then through her cackling she announced.

Trish Stratus: Oh, right! It was me! It was me! Turns out tough little blondes from Canada are your kryptonite, Sash! Super Stratusfaction, right off the top rope and onto your dumb little head. If we look at your long, uninspired, lackluster, amateurish, pedestrian history we’ll find that you can only win a match when your opponent isn’t a very good wrestler. You are the Eve Torres or Maryse of your era. You’re only good because everyone else who came in with you is. so. so bad. You can’t wrestle, you’re flat chested, you’re not even pretty. I don’t even understand what you call English, and you flat out disrespect everyone you meet. You’re one of these darling little people who thinks if she does power poses she can just manifest all these wondrous things. You think that if you dream it, you can achieve it. Sasha, sit down, honey. No, you have got to put in the work. Seriously, I clearly need to have a talk with someone in the back, because I did not sacrifice the last 18 years of my life so they can let just any ole riff raff through the doors.

She paced a little more and then suddenly became very serious.

Trish Stratus: I’m being catty. Here’s what you really need to hear, Sasha. I’m sure you’ll have plenty to say in the next few days. You’ll say I’m old. You’ll say I’m washed up. You’ll say I need to let go so that a younger generation can take over. There’s a reason your little group is called “The Mean Girls”, and it’s not because you wear pink on Wednesdays or that you don’t let people sit with you. You called a group of girls, because you don’t know what it means to be a woman in this business. You’ve never had to devalue, degrade or debase yourself for someone else’s entertainment so you could maybe have a sniff of a five minute wrestling match where your clothes weren’t ripped from your body. You’ve always had opportunity after opportunity. You insult yourself by consorting with catty bitches and acting like you’re God’s gift to the sport. You have absolutely no respect. No respect for the people who put in the work for you and damn sure no respect for yourself. So tonight, when I kick you in the mouth, and you’re looking up at the lights? I’m going to give you a taste of the respect that you’re lacking. I’m going to take your crown. I’m going to take Natalya’s title. And I’m going to show you, once again, little girl, why you should never waste your time being the boss when you can be the baddest bitch.

Trish dropped the mic to a surprised cheer from the crowd who hadn’t expected her to sign off in that way. “Bossy” hit the PA, and Trish left the ring, stopping to pose on the ramp before disappearing behind the curtain.