Sam Roberts Podcast - 24 June 2017

Sam Roberts: We are 1 day away from EBWF King of the Ring and we've talked about all the matches except 3, the 3 remaining matches in the King of the Ring Tournament and we may as well start with the King of the Goths, Jimmy Havoc! What started as a normal day for most people transcended into mania, that is, if you were a follower of Jimmy Havoc on Twitter. The EBWF Tag Team Champion usually posts pictures of himself or his scars but in the early hours he posted a link to a YouTube channel he owns



and trust me when I say this is Jimmy Havoc at his absolute weirdest. Four Videos for what he calls the “Four Horsemen”. I’m going to play them then we’ll talk about it, hit the button!

The scene switches to the video, in bold white letters the word “Pestilence” is centre screen. It slowly transitions to a video from a handheld camera, as seen by the shaky start. It turns around to show Havoc holding the camera and pointing it at his own face.

Jimmy Havoc: You may be wondering why I've uploaded all of this and why it's not with EBWF. Pretty simply because I wanted this to be away from EBWF censorship and rules, this is my journey and my words. This is how Jimmy Havoc and Braun Strowman work. See you soon.

The camera turns off suddenly, leaving only static before coming back on, showing a hockey rink. The ice was covered by a carpet. One of the goal stands was broken, the net ripped apart and the posts themselves rusted away. The other, immaculate. Clean and erected in the right way. Under the broken goal stand was a body, cut up into pieces and wrapped in cling film. All except the head, which was not there. Under the clean goal was a replica EBWF Championship.

Jimmy Havoc: There is always two reasons as to why people do certain things, the good reason and the real reason.

Jimmys voice could be heard but the camera could not see him.

Jimmy Havoc: That's why I've always believed there will be two sides to any human being.

Jimmy stepped out onto the ice rink, revealing himself to the camera. Braun could be seen standing next to him. For once, the monster among men looked unnerved.

Braun Strowman: We’ve done some weird shit, Jimmy, but… this is weird even for us. Where did that body come from? Who cut it up and wrapped it like Dexter’s Christmas presents? And do I even want to know why the head is missing?

Jimmy Havoc: Braun, there's something you need to know about me. When I’m desperate, when I'm in need, when I'm down to last resorts backed into a corner I choose to use a little… knife play. When you're facing some of the greats in this business, you have to bring your A game!

Braun’s eyes widened.

Braun Strowman: Are you saying you you killed that guy?

Havoc laughed.

Jimmy Havoc: God no! I found him, I just cut him up! What do you take me for?!

Braun Strowman: That’s… better? I guess…

Braun didn’t sound entirely convinced.

Jimmy Havoc: You were drawn to that side of the ice, why? Why not the other side? The clean side, the nice side?

Jimmy didn't wait for a response before making his way over to the clean side.

Jimmy Havoc: You see this, is all of Edge’s good reasons to be in EBWF. This represents Edge as a legend, which don't get me wrong he is one. He’s done damn near everything in this business, he’ll tell you himself!

Jimmy leaned on the goal stand.

Jimmy Havoc: You see Edge, is one of a kind in wrestling. A decorated tag team wrestler and somewhat of a gimmick wrestler, confined to ladder matches and jumping off tall things. Kind of like that shit Matt Sydal but not as skinny. Edge broke out of that confinement and became one of the greatest singles competitors that's ever been! Championships after championships, accolades after accolades.

Jimmy smiled.

Jimmy Havoc: He reverted back to his old ways eventually though, formed Rated RKO with Randy Orton. One of the best tag teams EBWF has ever seen, held the titles the longest and all that jazz. They're pretty much a comedy act now though, they do their skits backstage for their own bemusement and show up when Wes Ikeda asks them nicely to.

Braun Strowman: Or when there’s a prize at stake… like a World Title shot at Summerslam.

Jimmy smiled.

Jimmy Havoc: Correct! The King of the Ring tournament has brought back some legends and brought in some new faces. So who would've guessed it would be 3 old dudes and the fastest rising star in wrestling? Well, I knew I'd be here but I'm damn surprised the others are here too. Braun, do you think they deserve to be King of the Ring?

Braun shrugged.

Braun Strowman: Well they did make it to the final four, which is more than I did.

Jimmy Havoc: I stand by the fact that you were robbed, my friend. Another day, you'd have been right there with me. I wouldn't have minded that, me and you having a scrap. Alas however, I will be going toe to toe with the Rated R Superstar and if I get past him I shall be facing Orton or Miz.

Braun Strowman: Well, compared to the prospect of facing me, going up against Edge and Randy Orton or The Miz must feel like a relief.

Jimmy smiled.

Jimmy Havoc: I do feel I have more of a chance against those 3, but I feel slightly disheartened by it. Someone like you who deserves to be there over these 3 who show up, two of them get byes through the first round. What happens if they face their opponents in the first round, do they end up here?

Jimmy’s smile turned into anger.

Jimmy Havoc: End of the day, I've battled my way here whilst Edge and Orton have just waddled in and that fact pisses me off.

Jimmy began walking over to the broken side of the rink. Braun reluctantly followed.

Braun Strowman: Let me guess - this side represents the bad reasons for Edge in the EBWF?

Jimmy Havoc: When did you get so smart?!

Braun Strowman: Not from hanging out with you, that’s for sure.

Jimmy looked confused.

Jimmy Havoc: You’re with me ringside, we travel together and we do these shitty promos together. The only time we aren't together is when we use the bathroom. Braun, have you made some err…. Bathroom friends? Cos if so you can have them!

Braun Strowman: Maybe I read when I’m in the bathroom, Jimmy? Did you ever think about that. Stop acting like a jealous girlfriend.

Jimmy Havoc: Look, I’m sorry I'm just pissed off okay? I'm also a little bit sick.

Braun Strowman: I would be too if I’d cut up a dead body.

Jimmy Havoc: Not that kinda sick, Braun I don't know how to tell you this but...I have a disease.

Braun Strowman: I’ve always known you were sick, Jimmy. Sick in the head.

Jimmy looked sad.

Jimmy Havoc: I don't know why you're being so rude. It's not that kind of disease you big idiot. It has some pretty serious side effects though.

Braun Strowman: Sorry, I didn’t realise you were so… sensitive. Okay, I’ll bite. What disease do you have?

Jimmy Havoc: Sensitive is one of the side effects! Braun, I have what they call parttimeitus. It's a very serious disease in the wrestling community, people all over the company are being dragged down by this deadly disease, Edge, Orton, Miz, AJ Styles, Trish Stratus, the list goes on. It's very horrible the things it makes you do. You’re hardly around, you sit at home and watch TV and eat cheetos all day. You don't do anything with your life anymore because you've made your bank, time to go home. There is a cure though! It's called a ‘Phone Call’.

Jimmy used his hands to air quote Phone Call.

Jimmy Havoc: This ‘Phone Call’ rids you of your Parttimeitus very quickly and soon you strap on your boots and beat up any up and comer you want too because that's how the company wants it. Why build new stars when you have some dude sat at home just in need of a cure? Or a fix...maybe? I don't need curing because I fight my parttimeitus, I choose to show up every week. I'm the one all these legends watch on TV and to “I wouldn't mind wrestling him”. I'm the god damn best, which is my parttimeitus will never take me!

Braun Strowman: If you’re the best… how come Samoa Joe beat you?

Havoc glared at his partner.

Jimmy Havoc: Didn’t you get beat by Alex fucking Riley? That's the difference between me and you though, you choose to dwell on your losses feeling sorry yourself whereas I, get up and go again. Yeah I lost the belt to Samoa Joe, but what better way to bounce back than to beat Baron Corbin, Bobby Roode and Sami fucking Zayn? What did you do? Expect follow me around like a lost puppy? I'm going to be the fucking King of the Ring while you’re by my side wishing you could've done that little bit better and actually beat Alex bloody Riley?! Alex RILEY! The wannabe jock in an imaginary high school somewhere in the clouds! You were supposed to be the mountain among men and you couldn't beat a wired up fuckboy. Don't you dare come at me like that again.

There was an obvious tension between the two men, and both of them looked ready to throw a punch. Braun raised his fist… then held up one finger.

Braun Strowman: One - I lost by DQ. Riley pulled an Eddie Guerrero on me, and the referee was dumb enough to fall for it.

He then held up two fingers.

Braun Strowman: Two - I’ve never been pinned. And if you were facing me in the final, you wouldn’t have a chance in hell of winning.

He then lifted a third finger.

Braun Strowman: Three - don’t you dare come at me like that again. If you do, you’ll be the next body I see in pieces, but I won’t need a knife to tear you apart. Now I’m going to walk away before one of us does something we regret. Because despite what you just said to me, I still want to see you win this tournament. And if stay here with you another minute longer, you might not even make it to Sunday.

Braun walked over to the “clean” side of the ice rink and and picked up the goal. He bent the frame of the goal with his hands then threw it towards Jimmy Havoc, before walking away.

Jimmy Havoc: I don't need him! I will finish this tournament the way I started it… on my own. Look, I know it's easy to make fun of Edge and say he's never around and he's lazy and shit and stuff but. That's who he is, he's a part timer. That's his whole Schlick now! What irks me most is that he comes in these tournaments and takes the slot of someone up and coming, someone who the fans actually want to see. It becomes stale and a joke, that's what you are Edge, a bloody joke. Like, you actually know it too, you are like the Deadpool of wrestling so self aware he thinks he can get away with it. Edge, you're an idiot if you think you're getting to the final Sunday. I stand in your way fighting for the little guy, I am the rhyme and reason that you never come back to EBWF. I am Jimmy fucking Havoc, remember the name.

Havoc picks up the torso of the man on the floor and begins to unwrap it as what seems like thousands of maggots begin to crawl out of the mans flesh.

Jimmy Havoc: You are the disease of EBWF, Edge, I am the cure. The saviour and the one true…


King.
Of the Goths.

The scene stops suddenly. The words Famine appear in Black on a white background.

The scene opens up with a top down view of a bathtub, a woman appears to be lounging in murky water. As the camera gets closer, you notice the woman is not moving and the water is actually just snakes. The camera gets closer and the woman is definitely not alive, she is all dolled up with make up with a huge lipstick smile. Her hair is perfectly made up. All of a sudden, Havoc appears as the camera pans to the edge of the bath tub.

Jimmy Havoc: I know, Snakes for Orton? Who would've guessed it? No-one's ever made that connection before!

Jimmy kneeled at the bath tub as a snake came face to face with him, he began talking as if it was to the snake.

Jimmy Havoc: Randy Orton, like a snake, sheds his skin a lot. Whenever he comes back, you don't know whether you get the serious Orton, cocky Orton, Rated RKOrton. At the end of the day, does anyone really care anymore? Orton will come back, say he's back and better than ever and then lose at the final Hurdle. It's the Orton cycle as per usual, he's an idiot. Like at least Edge brings a certain class about him, what's worse than a dude who mails it in all the fucking time? I don't want to be in the same company as a dude just collecting his pay. Randy, you're the longest reigning EBWF Champion of all time and whilst that is an amazing achievement do us all a favour, sign those sweet legends deal and show up at Mania yeah? The fans don't cheer for you, they don't need you anymore. You are the past, you are starving these up and comers of places in cars and hotels. You are the wrong in this company, all because you're now family with Wes. You made your way to these semi final shenanigans with a bye and sauntered right into where you are now. You don't care Randy, you never really care anymore do you? You're sucking the life out of these fans and starving them of real entertainment from real professionals in this business. People like Me and Sami Zayn, Cesaro, Hell even Alex Riley works his ass off. You forget that being here is a privilege, If we so happen to meet in the final I am definitely going to show you that.

Jimmy turned his head too the woman.

Jimmy Havoc: Who was the other guy in the tournament?

He moved his ear closer to the woman's mouth.

Jimmy Havoc: Oh that's right!

Jimmy turned his attention back to the snake.

Jimmy Havoc: He’s a snake too!

Jimmy turned his attention once again to the woman.

Jimmy Havoc: The Miz. At this moment in time where at the reset button the Miz cycle.

Jimmy looked puzzled at the woman.

Jimmy Havoc: What? What's the Miz Cycle? I'll explain! Every time Miz gets bored of being on his own, he enlists the help of somebody or some people. He uses them until it backfires somehow and ends up not being the main guy in that group, he then bides his time until an opportunity comes along and strikes back. This time it was Alex Riley that fell for the trap, the fans and I knew what was going on. Miz was never truly Riley’s slave or butler or assistant or whatever, he was just letting Riley have his moment in the sun before he burnt him alive and sucked up every little ounce of it his little stomach could handle. The Miz is a cockroach, he feeds off of others whether it's using them for the spotlight or ripping it off them. He's a cockroach in a designer suit, he'd probably do well in Wall Street. The epitome of gluttony, he does not deserve to be here. Sure he actually won matches instead of just staying at home, but he still sucks and he's a nerd so.

Jimmy stands up and closes his eyes, as he opens them the video goes all broken and static.

The words War and Death appear on the screen.

Jimmy Havoc appears in a wrestling ring.

Jimmy Havoc: Now this ones pretty obvious. I am bringing a War to King of the Ring. Edge and Orton have only trained for battles whilst I ALWAYS prepare for War. The Miz will do what any good cockroach does in a war, run way and survive. Braun Strowman is Death, he's the last thing you see before you're looking up at the lights. He's the one to make you rethink your existence in this company.

I am Jimmy Havoc. King of the Goths. That crown is mine.