The Return of The Stuff

[Dylan]

A hush comes over the crowd that has gathered to catch some of the best wrestling action around. Our camera crew does a quick pan around the arena that the EBWF has taken over for the evening. It shows a huge crowd who are starting to grow a little uneasy, as they are awaiting the next piece of action. Without much warning .. a very familiar and quite ridiculous theme begins to play over the sound system ..

BUFF!
DADDY!
[bbvideo=460,215]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U8qie0WhFJ8[/bbvideo]
I'M BUFF, I'M THE STUFF, AND THE GIRLS JUST CAN'T GET ENOUGH

No way ... That can't be! It's 2017 and Buff Bagwell's music is playing on a sound system of a prominent professional wrestling organization. Someone must've hit the wrong button in the sound booth, right? ... Nope! Here comes Buff Bagwell through the curtain and onto the top of the entranceway. "The Stuff" is wearing a ridiculous top hat that had to have been spray painted by someone in 1999. Buff Daddy is wearing a dope pair of sunglasses that really make him look like a total bad ass. Bagwell is looking jacked and ready to go here tonight. He does his trademark strut down the ramp and eventually climbs into the ring, howling and cackling at the EBWF fans in the process. After a few seconds, Buff Daddy walks around the ring and is eventually given a microphone. He paces around the ring, smirking the entire time. Buff takes off his super rad sunglasses and takes a look at the crowd, smacking his gum arrogantly. He places his shades back on his face and raises the microphone and begins to speak.

BUFF BAGWELL: Do not adjust your television sets! I really AM this good looking! HA HA! Oh, baby! It's good to be back and it's good to be Buff! Now, daddy, I been sittin' at home for a long, long .. looooooong time and wouldn't you believe it? In all that time .. there still hasn't been anyone more buff than BUFF DADDY! HI should have known that wasn't going to change .. because everyone knows there ain't anyone in this world that's packin' more heat than The Stuff, baby! HAHA OH YEAH! NOW! .. Let's get one thing straight from jump street, kiddies .. Buff Bagwell has come to this joint lookin' for two things .. I'm lookin' for good lookin' broads and I'm lookin' for championship gold .. and judging by what I'm seeing here tonight .. I better not get my hopes up! HAHAHA!

Buff takes a second to strut around the ring, as the fans in attendance boo him loudly. He stops strutting and stands in the middle of the ring, enjoying all of the boos he's receiving from tonight's crowd. He cackles loudly and raises the microphone up to his lips again.

BUFF BAGWELL: You people can boo me all you want .. but the fact remains true after all these years - there is NO ONE .. NOT A SINGLE PERSON WALKIN' THIS PLANET ... that looks as good as I do right now! I mean, c'mon! Just look at me, baby! I'm jacked! I'm tan! I'm lookin oh-so-good! Now, ladies and gentlemen .. you had better get used to seeing this pretty mug on your television screens. You better get used to seeing it plastered on every piece of merchandise this stinkin' company makes, because baby .. The Stuff is in it for the long haul! And no one .. and The Stuff means absolutely NO ONE is going to stop me from getting what I want. And what I want is some championship gold around these big ol' shoulders, daddy! It's only a matter of time before I'm on top where I belong! And do you people know why? Huh? Do ya?! It's because .. I'M BUFF .. I'M THE STUFF .. AND ALL THE GIRLS JUST CAN'T GET ENOUGH! HAHA! And don't you forget it!

Buff threw down the microphone, causing static to ring throughout the arena. He chuckled and posed as we cut away to a commercial.