The Peep Show
[The scene fades into Christian sitting in his kitchen tweeting, with Mr. Meowgi on his lap as his phone rings. On the screen of the phone the initials "VKM" appear. Christian shrugs and rejects the call.]
Christian: Not even gonna bother...
[Christian sets his phone down and begins to walk away, when it rings again. This time, it's Terry Gerin, also known as Rhyno. He answers the phone, and the scene goes to split screen, with the guys each on a side of the screen.]
Christian: I knew you were going to call... Let me guess... It's about Ashley, right?
Rhyno: No...What? No! It's about your title match and that lil' thing going on between you and Hogan...
Christian: You mean Terry Bollea!
Rhyno: It's the same damn thing!
Christian: Nope, not to me, as long as he keeps wrestling, he'll be Terry Bollea, to me.
Rhyno: Geez, calm down... All sour about nothing, relax man... Listen, focus on your title match.
Christian: You're right, there's more important stuff I need to focus on, I need to get that championship!
Rhyno: Now, you don't...
Christian: I know, but it sounded more epic that way... I know I don't need to beat Miz, I beat him already on so many levels, I mean... look at my reigns, he's got nothing on me.
Rhyno: You do know he has back up, right?
Christian: Screw Paul Heyman, and that asshole Anderson, I have more talent in one finger than they do in their entire bodies!
Rhyno: Although, that stunt they pulled last week was a clear stroke of genius, reminiscent of the ol' Fingerpoke of Doom!
Christian: I'm guessing they can call this one the Blowjob of Doom, then...
Rhyno: HA! I see what you did there! But... uhm...Who's Ashley?
Christian: Huh? Who? Nobody! Bye, Terrence!
Rhyno: Wait!!!
[Christian didn't wait, he just hung up, completely caught off guard with the question.]
Christian: Whew... THAT was a close one...
[Christian turned to face the camera.]
Christian: And now, ladies and gentlemen... THE PEEP SHOW.
[The intro for the Peep Show plays on the screen, which is a video package displaying Christian’s in ring moments along with “Christian” and “Peep Show” graphics that appeared occasionally until the cameras revealed Christian in front of the usual Peep Show scenario with a big brown bag filled with envelopes behind him, a he continuously smirks.].]
Christian: Greetings, my peeps, CLB's, and maybe even some Punks, considering what's been all over the news... from all around this marvelous globe, watching me, via a computer screen, your phone's screen, your Ipad screen, HELL, even your TV screen, IF it's connected to the interwebs, or as normal people call 'em... Internet. Now... the question I've been asked the most this past week is: "Are you actually dating Ashley Massaro?" So... I decided, today on the peep show, I'll answer some fan mail. Alright the first one is from Nicole Orton... where do I know that last name from... anyways she says:
Nicole Orton - "Who is your favorite wrestling diva of all time?"
Christian: Well, Nicole, It's hard to just choose one... but if I had to choose a favorite, my fellow canadian, Trish Stratus! This next one is from Corey P.
Corey P. - "Other than Edge and Christian, what was your favourite Tag Team of all time?"
Christian: A lot of "favorite questions", here, eh... Uhm... I'd say, The Hart Foundation, they really helped pave the way for everyone that came after them. Next one is from Ethan Jones.
Ethan Jones - Hi, Christian, I'm Ethan, and I'd like to know why you aren't champion yet!
Christian: That's a really good question... Watch monday, and you won't have to ask that ever again! Alright, two more questions: this one's from Sarah B.
Sarah B. - HEY! I am a huge fan, just wanted to ask you if you preferred working for WWE or TNA?
Christian: Hands down, EBWF, ahaha!
John L. - What are you most looking forward to, shutting The Miz up, or winning the Intercontinental Title?
Christian: I'd have to say it's winning the Intercontinental Title, because Miz is nothing but a small dot on my radar. He's just an itsy-bitsy, teenie-weenie little nuisance that I have to deal with come Monday, because, the way I see it, he can say he's awesome all he wants, he can align himself with all the assholes he wants, and all the failed, unsuccessful businessmen he wants, because when it's all said and done, I'll once again be the Peep's Champ! Alright, guys, thanks for watching, remember to put a like on this video, a favorite, a comment and subscribe to my channel; Go back and watch all the previous editions of “The Peep Show”; Follow at Christian4Peeps on Twitter… and remember: My heart beats for my peeps!
[The scene fades out, ending the peep show.]
[The scene opens with a shot of Christian wearing a dark blue shirt and some white jeans sitting on a brown sofa with a black curtain behind him. Next to the sofa, there was a glass table with a glass cup of whiskey, that rested on a dark blue coaster.]
Christian: Hello, fans, followers and employees of EBWF, my name is Christian, and I'm here with an important message. This Monday night, I have a match against The Miz for his Intercontinental championship, however, I feel I need to do some rectifying. Recently, on Twitter, I trashed Hulk Hogan and Kevin Nash, I take full responsibility for my tweets, all that I said on that account was typed with my fingers on my computer. You may have found the exchange between myself, Kevin and Hulk to be interesting and amusing, but I'll tell you what's not funny: Watching men who are way past their primes try to cling on to past glories, which is why I ask all of you, members of the Christian Coalition, all of you peeps and CLB's out there, please, don't expect too much from Old Yeller, by which I mean Hulk Hogan.
[Christian picks up the glass, but puts it down.]
Christian: Now... I do have one more thing to say, about The Miz. Last week, Miz fooled all of you and joined Anderson and Heyman, in what was, an actually smart move for guys that call themselves Awesome and Asshole, along with a guy that couldn't even run his own promotion in any other direction but down and into the ground! Although I will commend you on the coup from Warfare, it was an actual pretty not-too-dumb of a move. The conflict here, is that this week, you'll be known as the guy that only held the Intercontinental title for seven days. Y'know, keeping it warm for me. I know what you're gonna say, Miz, you're going to talk about the irony of me, not being young, but still trashing old guys for still being in this business... Or... Or, you're gonna be like every other guy I've faced and tell me all the crap everybody else says, well, guess what, Miz... There's nothing you can say, at this moment, so you might as well put your money where your mouth is. It's time for you to actually try to prove a point through fighting, and not talking and weaseling out of your affairs. Come Monday, I'll give you a night you will never forget, when I hit the Killswitch, pin you for the 1...2...3 and be declared the new Intercontinental Champion! Until then, keep that belt warm, Miz!
[Christian took a shot of Whiskey, got up, and walked away as the scene went to black, ending the entire segment.]
