Christmas Eve of Destruction was the most brutal show of the year and scheduled on the absolute worst day. Trish was a mother, and there was nothing like seeing your child open presents on Christmas morning. That meant a long flight back home, and this year Trish planned to be sore in her first class seat. It was something for the women to be booked in the Elimination Chamber match. It was an honor to be included. The ladies who had been left out had to have felt the sting of rejection. Trish was surprised she hadn’t been among them, and she didn’t want to pause to think about what might have gotten her into that match. She figured that creative had three or four they wanted for sure, and Natalie had hand picked the rest. As long as she didn’t know for sure, she could pretend that she’d earned this opportunity. She had stayed at Wes and Natalie’s house on Saturday night, but she’d opted to travel to the arena alone. After a trip to hair and makeup, and slipping into her ring attire for the evening, she borrowed a camera man and decided to cut a promo to be aired later in the night. They went out to the empty arena, all set up for the show. Christmas trees decorated the staging area, primed for total destruction later in the evening. She could see one of her colleagues sailing through it already. She proceeded out to the ring, and as the cameraman got set up, she climbed up to take a seat on the turnbuckle.

Cameraman: You ready?

Trish Stratus: As I’ll ever be.

She put on a smile, and counting backwards from five with his fingers, the cameraman pointed and the little red light shot on.

Trish Stratus: What’s that old cliche? It’s always darkest before the dawn. Christmas Eve of Destruction is a tangible example of that, isn’t it? Tonight, I go through hell with five other women and hope to see Christmas morning on the other side of it. Only one of us leaves the elimination chamber with the Women’s Championship, and the odds are stacked against Natalya, aren’t they? Same old story, just a different book tonight. Nat and I are the vets, up against four relatively new girls. I thought it best to say all this out here in the ring, because I’m most at home here. And there’s no place like home for the holidays. The holidays are a time for reflection, and somewhere in the last fifteen years or so, women’s wrestling stopped being about creating wrestlers and it turned into something of a Barbie Doll factory. It wasn’t about who could talk on the mic, or who could actually wrestle. It’s about your look, and how many calendars they can sell. I have no right to question fitness models who become wrestlers. That’s how I got here. That’s how Alexa Bliss got here, but the difference between Alexa and me? I put in the work. I became the best, and remain the best, because of how hard I worked. Alexa came in here ready to run her mouth, but not quite ready to get the job done in the ring. How she ever beat me for the women’s championship is a mystery, because on my worst day, I’m better than Alexa Bliss on her best day. Then what? She lost the title to Sasha Banks? Who hasn’t beaten Sasha Banks? Really?

She shook her head.

Trish Stratus: It’s Christmas. I should be joyful. I should be excited. But instead, I’m having to take part in this disaster of a match, straight from the sadistic mind of the so called man in charge, Jimmy Havoc. Good one, Jim. Thanks. Who doesn’t like a good back ache on Christmas morning, huh? Thoughtless bastard. Speaking of…

She clicked her tongue against her teeth and grinned.

Trish Stratus: How you doing Livvy? Got your fresh Christmas kicks? Going home to Mommy and Daddy’s house to open all your presents tomorrow? Did you trade in your snapback for a little elf hat? How did a child like you even get into this match? It annoys me. That Havoc would even think to put you in such a brutal match. When I grate your pretty little face across the chamber, your blood will be on his hands. I think that kind of thing excites him though, so I’d take some precautions if I were you. I haven’t seen you around in a while Liv. Are you sure you’re cut out for this? Having second thoughts about this business? Realizing that being pretty doesn’t stop you from getting hurt? No one would judge you if you decided not to show up for this match. If you just stayed home. We’d totally understand. The elimination chamber is where the big girls play, sweetheart, and we both know that right now, you probably just ought to stay in your playpen.

Trish pushed her hair out of her face.

Trish Stratus: An interesting exception to the rule has been Nikki Cross. Sure, she hasn’t been around for very long here in EBWF, but the girl has some credits to her name. Plus, she can wrestle! Brava! How exciting. Finally, finally we get one who can perform the basic duties of her job. Though I did learn an interesting thing about Nikki Cross. It seems that in some of her little independent circles she was known as “The Best in the Galaxy”. How quaint. This isn’t the independent circuit, and you’re definitely not the best EBWF has to offer. While the galaxy might be be just a tad bit larger than the Stratusphere - I think we can both agree that I’m pretty much the undisputed best women’s wrestler of all time, so you can take many, many seats, and wait your turn. It will come. Just not tonight.

Trish changed the direction her long legs were crossed, and sat up a little straighter on the turnbuckle.

Trish Stratus: Then there’s the other side of the coin. Mandy Rose. Basically, if you took Nikki Cross’ talent, and Mandy Rose’s good looks and put them together, well you’d be on your way to a Trish Stratus for a new generation. You know, Mandy, they say that imitation is the best form of flattery, but until the ring skills improve honey, I’m not impressed. I mean, you are better than Eva Marie, so I guess that was doing us a favor, but none of this is working for me. None of it. In fact, I’d like to unsubscribe.

Trish leaned forward and the camera zoomed in a bit.

Trish Stratus: Five women in the elimination chamber with the EBWF Women’s Champion, Natalya. She’s been the champion since Christmas Eve of Destruction LAST year. Except, of course, for five glorious minutes in September when I beat her for the title. We all saw what she did, didn’t we? She schemed, and took that title from me the same night. Natalya isn’t a queen, and she certainly isn’t a champion. She has a title. That’s it. She’s changed. Natalya has turned into a spoiled brat who pouts, cries, and throws a tantrum when she doesn’t get her way. She’s an Ikeda now more than ever. And what’s worse, is she’s less Wes, and more like, oh, their four year old son. You’re a baby, Natalie. And it’s time for your reign of terror to end. I’ve worked my whole adult life for the career I’ve had, and it’s your character that defines your reputation. I don’t need a title to be a champion, Natalie. But it’s sure going to be nice to put this thing between you and me behind us, once and for all.

She hopped down off the turnbuckle.

Trish Stratus: And you can spout your Uncle’s catchphrases, but it doesn’t change the fact that I am the Quintessential Women’s Wrestler, and all of the rest are just imitators. Including you. Tonight, when the chamber drops, I may not walk out with that belt around my waist, but I’ll make damn sure that you don’t either. New Year. Same Trish.

Trish winked at the camera and the scene faded to black.