Pray the Flamboyance Away?
Posted: Mon Feb 05, 2018 6:08 pm
Biker: Afternoon gents. Welcome to the Austin Parish Agnostic Inclusive Motorcycle Club. Before we get things underway one small announcement Ricky and Young Dicky can't be with us today. Fanny has had the baby. They're gonna call it Charlie. Willy please pass on our love to your uncle, cousin and the rest of the Johnson family. Now we've got that out of the way - sadly our advertised guest for the day has cancelled at the last moment. Preacher Copeland has cancelled his message. Apparently his hog has broken down.
Jeers can be heard.
Biker: Clearly wasn't meant to be. Anyways, luckily for us we found a last minute replacement. Frankly he looks a bit more like he belongs around these parts if you know what I am saying. Without further ado please welcome - representing the faith of the High One - Tommy Champion
Tomasso Ciampa walks onto the stage to a small applause
Ciampa: Gentlemen of APAIMC. I am Tomasso Ciampa. Thank you for the warm reception. In case you can't tell, today you look upon a happy man. Who among you are wrestling fans?
The response that follows is both the most positive and loudest yet.
Ciampa: Good. Clearly I did not win the rumble, that was never the mission though. I, Tomasso Ciampa told you how it was going to be and lo and behold, I was right. Think about it, I warned of the easy road, look what came to pass. Who else saw that coming? Nobody. Who was prepared? Nobody? Who listens to this nut job? The religious Sicilian psycho? Maybe now you give more credence to my words. Perhaps you see the wisdom in what I have to say. Who knew? Perhaps Kenny Omega saw his victory coming but that's beside the point. High One told me it was to be so, High One, the true Alpha, you should put your faith in Him.
There is a mixed reaction to this. Clearly there are some Omega fans among in the ranks of APAIMC. Ciampa raises his hand
Ciampa: As more proof I warned of an evil presence. If you search the women's division you will find there is a harlot amongst the ranks. One that has been tainted by the most abhorrent creature from my past. Evil should be eliminated but that is not a matter I am in a position to deal with. Back to the friction of the day. I am not here to preach High One at this time. There is plenty of time for that in my upcoming appearances. Also, if you want more information on High One I have pamphlets on the subject. Or, catch me after this little presentation. Today - I want to talk about a matter that troubles me and I imagine - also troubles many of you. That subject? Dalton Castle.
There are boos from the audience.
Ciampa: Let me ask you all. What do YOU think of Dalton Castle
A number of heckles come back at Ciampa starting with "We hate him" and ending with "We don't take kindly to his type around here"
Ciampa: That's what I thought. High One is also not a fan of this sort of behavior. Somehow, someone in EBWF seems to think it's a good idea to put me up against these peculiar types. The other week I faced Velveteen Dream and in the upcoming week I am matched with Dalton Castle. What have I done to deserve this? Whatever! Dalton, I know this is going to get back to you. I want to make this very clear - I am addressing you directly. Your act, your flamboyance does not sit well with me. It does not sit well with High One either. In some circles your ways may be considered charming or disarming but I don't buy it. This is supposed to be wrestling. I am a wrestler - what are you meant to be?
Someone heckles "Get on with it already."
Ciampa: Precisely. These fellas get it. You are not interesting, boring.
The heckles continue No son, it's you who is boring
Ciampa: This is what heathens like you do Dalton - see the way you have divided man? I want unity. So here's what I'm going to do. Normally when I want to drive respect into an opponent I would try to rip his arm from it's very socket. With you I'm going to take it that one step further - I'm going to tear off your arm, rip out your odd little tail feathers, punch you in your pretty boy mouth til you're uglier than I am and leave your carcass for your boys to salvage.
There is a loud beep most likely another heckle that has been edited out.
Ciampa: Woah. Woah. Woah. High One does not discriminate by gender, creed or sexual orientation. I am here with a message of hope not...
Suddenly a dozen bikers storm the stage. We don't take kindly to sympathizers of the [BEEP] community around here. Ciampa looks around then jumps off the stage and away from the bikers
Ciampa: I purely want to end the career of Dalton Castle because I am sick of all this showmanship, this is supposed to be wrestling not a walk way So please, you are making huge assumptions that are not based on any evidence. Also people, be open minded. This is the 21st Century. High One be with you all.
Ciampa drops the mic and runs like the wind.
