Driver: Where to, mate?
Grado: Holy shite man. What a journey man. Seemed to take forever. Plane food tastes rubbish and the booze they serve on those things tastes like pish. That aside I'm bright eyed and bushy tailed or some nonsense like that. I feel canny though, aye?. Ready to kick some arse and all tha' good stuff. EBWF debut. Feels fuckin' mint. Gonna kick seven shades of shit oot of Tyler Breeze, I'm telling you now pal. Dunno how I feel about fighting Noam Dar. He's my buddy, we been through all sorts together. Bollocks to it though, I want a belt roond ma waist on my debut and he's not gonna stand in my way. Somethin' else I've still to work out - I've been doing my research on my tag partner. Dalton Castle. Not gannae lie when I put the name into ma google machine it came up with an old building across the border from where I live. Jesus H, man. Tagging with an old building would be class.
Driver: Son, where are you heading?
Grado: Fuck man, I'm forgetting mysel. I'm just anxious, you know? In a couple of days time I get my chance at the big time. I've always dreamed of being in a company the size of EBWF. Dalton Castle though, I swear do not put that name into your PC. I swear to God, I gave my laptop to my mate Gary. I feel like I was looking at fetish porno or something. I'm not a poof and I can't have that sort of shit being linked with me. Wait, he's my tag partner, I am gonna have that linked to me. Holy crap! I hope he doesn't try to put one of those masks on me. I'd shove it right up his arse if he tried.
Grado taps his chin and looks up thinking about the statement he has just made. The driver clears his throat but Grado is oblivious to the social clue
Grado: I don't mean I'll actually shove it up his arse mind, I'm not a queer.
Driver: Oi, you're on the meter mate, what's your destination?
Grado: Oh. Gimme a minute pal.
Grado pulls a scrap of paper from his pocket and studies it.
Grado: Radisson Blu pal.
Driver: There's no Radisson Blu here mate. Do you mean the Madison?
Grado: Are you shitting me? What kind of taxi driver are you pal? Have you not done The Knowledge? First day or something? Guess we have that in common
Driver: Where do you think you are mate?
Grado: Very funny. Did Noam Dar put you up to this? He can be a wanker sometimes. We're in London pal
Driver: London, yes. But not the London you're thinking of
Grado: Eh?
Driver: You're in America my friend.
Grado: The fuck? You have a London accent.
Driver: Immigration is a wonderful thing
Grado: Is this a joke or are you for real?
Grado looks out the window for a while.
Grado: London, Iowa. Ho-Lee shit. I thought that was a long flight, expensive as well. Bollocks, I think I made a mistake.
Driver: So, where are you heading?
Grado: Just drop me off anywhere around here pal.
Grado climbs out the car and slams the door. He begins to walk away then turns back and approaches the driver.
Grado: Can I get my luggage pal?
Driver: Cash?
Grado: I don't have any American money.
Driver: Then, no luggage for you.
Grado: Shit. Do you have a card reader or something?
Grado pays the man using his card, the driver gets his luggage and Grado walks away muttering to himself
Grado: Shoulda worked this out when they asked for my passport. Dumb arse.
[SEVERAL DAYS LATER]
The scene reopens backstage at House of Havoc just hours before the shoes start. Charly Caruso is stood with a mic. Grado appears looking exhausted as he attempts to rush by. He is dressed in his wrestling gear complete with bum bag. He stops in his tracks
Grado: Have I made it in time?
Charly: Sorry, we're just about to stop rolling ready for the show to start
Grado: Oh for f...
The scene fades again, when it opens back up the quality of the recording has significantly lowered. Grado looks a lot more alert and is outside the arena though he can barely stand still. He is joined by Scottish indy talent turned manager turned commentator James R Kennedy.
Grado: Cheers for agreeing to interview this at the last minute. That Charly bird said it was too late.
JRK: Grado, you're a one of a kind
Grado: Cheers pal. You're not so bad yersel.
[color=orange]JRK: That wasn't a compliment. Get on with it.[/color]
Grado: Alright.
Grado turns his back to the camera and spins quickly on the spot.
Grado: London, England. It's yersel's. It's been quite the journey to get here and I'm jet lagged to high hell. I'm starving and a bit backed up but I'm here and I'm here to entertain yas. In... a few moments I'm gannae be out there performing for yas, busting my arse for yas so be grateful, yeah?
JRK: They're gonna see some of the best talent in the world, why should they be grateful to see you?
Grado: Excellent question sir. Well, wrestling is in my heart and I live for it
Kennedy shakes his head at how oblivious Grado is.
JRK: You step in the ring with the flamboyant Dalton Castle tonight and you're facing the Gorgeous Guys - Tyler Breeze and Noam Dar - a proper Scottish wrestler.
Grado: And what better way to showcase what I'm made of? I might have mentioned this already but I'm excited. What I probably haven't mentioned, I've had six red bulls just now ta stay awake for my match. Tyler Breeze and Noam Dar are worthy opponents, we have plenty in common. They're the gorgeous guys - I get told I'm gorgeous on a daily basis too, by my mum. Seriously though - Noam, Tyler, I hope you're ready to kiss your tag belts goodbye. I'm more than prepared to take yas both on. I'll whoop both your arses mysel' if that's what it takes. Also, have you seen my tag partner? He's a peacock and shit. What else do I need to say? Also, he's the Gateway Champ so, aye - you're doomed lads. I'm gonna rearrange both your mugs with my wee boot and Dalton will, well I would prefer not to speculate. Clarification for all ye Yankee folk out there - mug means face, like mugshot I'm not just gonna hoss a couple of cup around, that would be stupid, though it might make a decent weapon. Nargh, I'd get disqualified. Maybes Americans do use the word mug too? Do you have mug shots anywhere else though? The wee pasta in a cup thing? They're amazing. God, I could eat a mugshot James. Anyways, I need to run and prepare for my match. Chiquitos after though, gonna invite Dalton and his boys. I'll treat ya?
JRK: I'll pass!
Grado run energetically towards the building