The Boys, in a rare moment of vocality, state in unison. “Up.”
The Party Peacock erupts in giddy laughter. “And if you can sneak a little brandy in when no one's looking, all the better, right boys? Now PASS THE CRUMPETS!”
The tea party is interrupted by a knock at the door. Dalton stands from the table. “Well, who could that be? Did you deliver the tea party invitation to our best friend in the world Braun Strowman like I had instructed?”
One of the Boys coughs and points to his neck. Dalton nods understandingly. “Oh, he shoved the invitation down your throat and now it's sort of wedged in there, unable to be swallowed or coughed back up, but too thin to cause life-threatening obstruction?”
Another cough.
“I see. WELL,” he points to the door, “gentlemen don't keep their guests waiting! You may enter!”
The door opens. A chubby, jovial fellow in a baseball cap and fanny pack wanders into the room. He speaks with a comically thick accent. “Eh, you Dallon Casel?”
The Party Peacock brightens at being recognized. “I am! And hold on, wait, I'm very good with faces. You are...it's on the tip of my tongue, oh actually that is a piece of shortbread, mmm, deLICIOUS, you are...”
The man hooks a thumb towards himself. “Grado! It's yersel!”
Castle nods. “Yes, that is what I was definitely going to say. Grado. Wait!” His eyes start to dart with excitement. “Grado! I know that name! Yes yes, okay I am on board the train now, Grado. Grado, are you here, are you in this room, did you COME all the WAY HERE, to accept my challenge for House of Havoc? Is the Dikgatoc going to be answered, in England of all places, by ICW fan favorite Grado, is that what you are here to tell me?”
Grado shrugs. “Nae, I nar hold for alder. Ehm hir to asyee tuba my tatum purr.”
Castle continues to nod. “No idea what you just said.”
“My tie term parer.”
Castle snaps his fingers rapidly. “It's all just clicks and buzzes.”
Grado slows down and enunciates. “Aim her to ask yer to be may tag..team. .partner. I wanna bring Noam Dar down the pig and aye'd be proud to be longsad yer.”
Castle claps with understanding. “A HA! Okay, to recap, you, Grado, want to challenge Noam Dar for the pride of Scotland but since Noam Dar is tag team champion you have to find a partner to do it, and so you are using a loophole in the Dalcasgattitopcha by-laws to challenge me to be your partner. Grado, you have just introduced to this universe the possibility of Double Champion Dalton Castle. You are a madman, a raging dangerous psycopath. Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.”
Grado beams. “Aye, wyre guddin boot 'em war dum son dachsund, eh? End am real bat night for Gnome Dar and dat Tire Breeds, but a goodun for us, new tatum chants!”
“Right. Exactly what you said. However, one thing does need to be addressed. I want you to look at all this...” Castle snaps and trust-falls backwards onto a waiting chair made of Boys. He lounges and waves a hand over his jumpsuit. “Now, comparatively, look at all that.” He gestures to Grado's outfit. “We're never going to gel as a team if you don't raise your level of glam. So you have to answer me, right here and now, Mr. Grado. Are you ready to get fabulous?”
Grado nods. “Aye. It's yersel.”
Dalton. “Yes. It is indeed your cell.” Dalton claps and one of the Boys presses play on a boombox in the corner, signaling the start of an epic montage.
[BBvideo=560,315]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ssXAkg0bV6o[/BBvideo]
- Dalton and the Boys crammed on to a bench in the changing room of a department store. Grado steps out in his usual ensemble of a tanktop, baseball cap, and fanny pack, drawing thumbs down from the gallery.
- A tailor measuring Grado's inseam while one of the Boys jots the numbers on a legal pad.
- Dalton pointing at a chalkboard with the words “The Rain in Spain Stays Mainly on the Plain,” hitting each one in time.
- The Boys and Grado doing Hindu squats. The camera pans over to Dalton with a cup of Ben & Jerry's ice cream, his spoon moving up and down in time with the exercise.
- Grado stepping into the changing room with a cut-off tee, baseball cap, and fanny pack. The group on the bench boos.
- Dalton showing Grado how to open his wings with a dramatic flourish. Grado awkwardly throws his arms into the air. Dalton shakes his head.
- The tailor holds up a Boy-style loincloth around Grado's waist.
- Grado struggling to lift a barbell but eventually getting it over his head. Dalton easily presses the bell multiple times. The camera pulls out to show two boys on either side helping guide the weight along its path.
- Grado painstakingly adding feathers one-by-one to a mask.
- Dalton shows Grado how to open his wings in a slow, dramatic motion. Grado again thrusts his arms into position with little regard for drama.
- Grado running through a green swampy marsh with Dalton Castle sitting inside his backpack.
- Grado stepping out into the changing room again with a regular sleeved t-shirt and fanny pack. The crowd is about to boo when he holds up a finger and reveals a sequined teal baseball cap, drawing congratulatory cheers.
- Grado flawlessly performs the wing opening motion, revealing a Scottish flag on his cape.
Grado smiles. “Aye, we canna lose if we keeper hedgemon strait en wadgeet offer's bats, yeah?”
Dalton shakes his head. “Next montage, we focus on sign language.”
