DC 3/19: Best Imitation of Myself

[Derek]

----Minutes After the Tag Team Match on Warfare----

EBWF Gateway Champion and co-holder of the EBWF Tag Team Titles Dalton Castle steps through the curtain into gorilla position with his hands on his hips and concern etched across his forehead. Boys immediately swarm around him to inspect for damage and bring him a Gatorade to replenish his electrolytes along with an assortment of snacks, as is his after match custom. He waves them away and they scatter in a manner akin to cockroaches, disappearing into the crevices of the set. A sullen Grado shambles into view.

Grado sighs. “Aye, sorry Dalt, eh letchu doon otdere.”

Dalton pats his shoulder sympathetically. “Yes. Yes, you did.”

A scoffing sound draws attention to an approaching Tyler Breeze. “Ooo, tough break out there, Uggos.”

Grado nods. “Thanks.”

Dalton's eyes narrow. “Wait a minute, Grado, I don't think that was legitimate sympathy. I think that was sarcastic. Hence why he also tried to insult us, but joke's on him, he only made me want waffles. In your FACE, Breeze!”

Tyler runs a hand through his hair. “Hmph. Just thought you'd be interested to hear that Noam Dar and myself requested some air time on next week's show. You may want to make sure you're watching.”

Grado points a finger. “If yew tink yewundat scandrel Dahr ergonna winbat HOUR tateem belts, ooohen you better havanuder tink comin'!”

Tyler blinks a few times then looks to Dalton. Dalton shrugs. Tyler shakes his head in disgust. “Whatever. Later, uggos.”

Dalton turns to Grado. “How fast can you type?”


----Thursday Morning on WQBK-FM, Broadcasting Live----

Jimmy in the Morning: “Alright folks, it is that time of the week again, when my old broadcast partner Dalton Castle calls in to talk grappling and challenge our listeners to the Rock and Roll Trivia Deathmatch. Dalton, how are you on this fine morning, my man?”

Dalton: “Salutations, Jimmy, I am doing WONDROUS as usual. I just got into Nashville late last night, going to be doing press this weekend ahead of Monday's Warfare and trying to catch a show at the Opry, but most importantly I have a house show TITLE DEFENSE on Saturday, the Dalton Castle Gateway Championship Open Invitational has come to town, baby, so I'm looking forward to working with some local talent.”

Jimmy: “Cool, cool, so this is the final regular show before Wrestlemania, right?”

Dalton: “You are correct, Jimmy, so it is more important that ever for people to watch Warfare this week and see the final pieces fall into place for the biggest show of the year.”

Jimmy: “And some of the matches for this Monday have started getting pushed through the hype machine, including what must be a first-time meeting between yourself and A.J. Styles? That has to be a dream come true.”

Dalton: “Most definitely, Jimmy. I know we have listeners every week who are just suffering through the wrestling talk to get to the trivia, but if you have not seen A.J. Styles before, you owe it to yourself to tune in this week and see the greatest professional wrestling performer of our generation. And also A.J. Styles.”

Jimmy: “Where did I misplace my rimshot sound effect?”

Dalton: “Ha! But you know, Jimmy, just like the wrestling world knows, there is no one as consistently great in the ring as The Phenomenal One. He's a superb athlete and an amazing storyteller, and I know we can put on something fun together. Because wrestling is all about body control, when you get down to it. And I'm a grappler, you know my background, Jimmy, NCAA champion, represented the USA in international amateur competition. I can put any person into any position and throw them anywhere I want. Styles can put his OWN body into any position and get it to anywhere he wants. Does that make sense? We have compatible skillsets to come up with something amazing in the ring. I'm really looking forward to it. And also, it's nice to remind people what I can do in singles competition while also holding the tag titles.”

Jimmy: “Because all indications right now point to there being a tag title match on Wrestlemania for you, possibly featuring multiple teams. How has it been teaming with Grado?”

Dalton: “Interesting, I think is the best word to describe it. There are some surface similarities that people can tie us together with, you know, in that we're both kinda lighthearted and fun characters but then we also have this sort of odd couple dynamic. Either way, just getting to be on the Wrestlemania card is an amazing opportunity that everyone in our industry dreams of, so I'm thankful that I get to BRING the COLOR this year!”

Jimmy: “Great stuff, congratulations, my friend. Okay, folks, we will be opening up the phone lines now if you want to step into the Rock and Roll Trivia Deathmatch, here with Dalton Castle.”

Dalton: “ENTER THE THUNDERDOME, BABY!”


----Wrestlemania Weekend, Five Years Ago----

New York's VFW Post 5195 in is standing room only. With Wrestlemania being held in the MetLife stadium on Sunday evening, every venue that can hold a ring has been hosting shows to capitalize on the influx of wrestling fans. Tonight, the International Wrestling Cartel's main event for this special occasion has paired visiting legends the Dudley Boys against IWC's golden boy Dalton Castle and the man who ended his record-breaking heavyweight title run, RJ City.

The crowd has popped for the Dudleys as they went through their usual offense, but now Bubba Ray has started feeding for Castle's comeback, and the room is at a fever pitch. A series of clotheslines and a dropkick take Bubba off his feet. With a crazed look in his eye, Dalton reaches down and in a tremendous feat of deceptive strength hits his trademark deadlift German on the much larger man to the roar of the crowd. He runs to the turnbuckle and climbs to the top, ready to hit a diving headbutt, when his eyes are drawn by Devon yanking RJ off of the apron and slamming him into the barricade. The distraction allows Bubba to recover and take out Dalton's footing. Dalton is crotched on the top turnbuckle and falls over onto the mat. One Dudley Death Device later and the night comes to an end. Well, almost.

RJ City is pulled into the ring. Bubba pushes Devon, and milks the crowd reaction for as long as possible before telling him to get a table. Dalton Castle climbs onto the apron,poised to enter the ring and save RJ from his fate. But in the end, RJ is a rival, and this team is temporary. And if RJ suffers long-term effects from this table attack, no one could fault Castle for capitalizing on them next time they meet because everyone should be willing to go the extra length to get the title. Dalton drops off of the apron and watches RJ go through the table.


----Next Monday's Warfare, Backstage----

Fade in on peacock feathers. Feathers part revealing Dalton Castle in his backstage lounge.

Dalton: Salutations! I'm Dalton Castle, THESE are my Boys, THOSE...

Camera pans to the left to show a gaggle of giggling blondes in Amazonian-style toga wraps and familiar feathered eyemasks.

Dalton: Are my seldom-seen Girls, THIS...

Camera pans down to a cute, tiny deer-like creature on the table.

Dalton: Is my Colombian Pudu, Prong Strowman, THAT...

Camera pans right to show the entrance to the locker room.

Dalton: Is the door that I will be walking through in only a few precious moments to go do what I do best. And HERE...

Camera comes back to Dalton as the Boys lay two straps of leather and gold across either shoulder.

Dalton: Is the proof that I am exactly as good as I say I am. I know there are still some people out there who think Dalton Castle is all flash, that he's just about the party and the costumes and the CRAZY antics and RANDOM SHOUTING. But I didn't shout my way into becoming Dalty Two-Belts. I WRESTLED my way, I FOUGHT my way, I WON my way into becoming Dalty Two-Belts.

The Boys remove the straps, placing the Gateway Championship into its walnut carrying case.

Dalton: AJ Styles, I'd love to say I've been waiting my entire career to face you in that ring. To see how good the Phenomenal One is up close. But that's not quite true. The truth is, I've been waiting my entire career to BEAT you in that ring. To show you how good I AM up close. To look down into the face of the best wrestler in the world TODAY, and tell him better luck next time. Because it is Dalton Castle's time, and this party...won't....stop.

Castle stomps towards the door and looks back over his shoulder.

Dalton: Wish me luck.

The camera pans over to Grado clumsily jabbing his finger at an iPad. A digital voice rises from the machine.

iPad: I. Gudood look, Dallon.

Dalton: So the answer was no, you can't type.