Kung Fu Hustle
Posted: Sun Aug 26, 2012 2:58 pm
TODAY'S PROMO..! ..A-Again..
Kung Fu Hustle!
- I get to be in this one too?! Hells yeah!
- Weak sauce.
*A very loud and aggravated scream came from the shared hotel room of Marys and Paige. The blond was slumped onto a couch wearing just a green tank top and underwear. One arm was draped over the top of the couch and her eyes were focused on the television in front of her.*
Maryse: My hang over is saying you're too [HORRIBLE EXPLETIVE]ing loud. I mean unless you're, like, missing your period. That would suck.
*The raven haired newcomer stomped over to the couch until she was standing over Maryse. She was wearing a long, black dress with white and blue stockings underneath. Two dark blue colored ribbons were resting on either side of her head.*
Paige: Who the hell do you think you are leaving me behind last week to get my ass kicked?!
Maryse: I 'unno.
Paige: Don't "I 'unno" me! You could have helped!
Maryse: Hooker, do you really think I was going to fight anybody in that dress?
Paige: Damn it! Everything I do is stream lined and precise! You live like a hoarder! You've been in this hotel for five minutes and it already looks it exploded! Look what you put in your mouth in your mouth and I'm not just talking about DICK!
*Paige motioned to the alcohol, half-eaten pizza box and potato chips strewn across a closely positioned table.*
Paige: We should have both attacked A.J. but NO! You had to run off!
*Maryse just lazily smiled up at her gothy running mate.*
Maryse: You need some inner peace.
*She handed up a bag of extra spicy, red hot potato chips.*
Maryse: Try these.
*Paige promptly smacked the bag from her hand and onto the floor.*
Maryse: Look, skank, I'm trying to be nice here!
Paige: Yes, offering me a bag of half-eaten, moldy potato chips is VERY NICE!
Maryse: ..Ugh. Go be British somewhere else.
Paige: You should..never..ever..procreate..
Maryse: I'm about to be Women's Champion. Guy's are going to want to procreate with me from far and wide.
Paige: Oh yeah? Well, I'm going to win a match to become the next Sky High Champion!
Maryse: Secondary title.
Paige: Huh?
Maryse: Secondary title and nowhere near as important as the Women's. It's held by ASHLEY MASSARO. That should tell you something.
*The pair glared deeply at one another.*
Paige: I'm going to win my match. And then I'm going to win the Sky High Title. And I'm going to elevate it so much that it's going to blow your slutty ass right off the map!
Maryse: You can go right ahead and try, Powder!
*Paige was very aware that in order to one up Maryse that she was going to have to take drastic measures. In order to become the number one contender to the Sky High Title she would have to travel to a far off place to receive the kind of training that would accomplish that. She stormed out of the hotel and slammed the door behind her.*
- And Maryse said..nothing you idiots! Maryse is dead, she's locked in my basement!
*Traveling to a far off place in a goth dress was not advisable so Paige had switched up her attire. She was now wearing a black hoodie, hood pulled up, black track pants with a purple stripe on the pant legs, and purple running shoes. A back pack full of her worldly belongings rested over her shoulder. She had made it to a large temple where an asian man in a white robe sat on stone steps. He had white hair, large, bushy white eyebrows and a long white beard. He sat in a meditative position. Paige approached him and knelt down.*
Paige: Master. Please train me so that I can defeat Christy Hemme, Layla..and..that..other bitch with the big ass. I must become Sky High Champion.
Master: Your voice causes discomfort to my ears. But I will train you. You are not to speak unless spoken to. Ah ha. Ha ha. Ha ha.
*He dramatically stroked his long beard and the scene changed. The Kung-Fu master was sitting on a stone pillar with a sturdy piece of wood propped up between it. Paige repeatedly punched the wood but was visibly annoyed since it clearly hurt her knuckles.*
Master: This will train your spirit and your heart. To never give up. To never stop fighting. Christy Hemme, Layla and..that one bitch with the big ass will not be prepared.
Paige: ..Damn well better this is hurting my fist, dumb old man.
*The Master bopped her on the top of the head with the cane he carried.*
Master: No talking.
*Paige shot a glare up at the old man but continued to bring her fist into the wood. He once again stroked his beard. The scene changed and Paige stood in front of the white haired warrior in the center of the out door temple. He motioned to her.*
Master: Let's see how good you really are. If..you land a single blow, I will bow down and call you master. Ah ha. Ha ha. Ha ha.
*Paige looked down at her sore knuckles which were covered in Emily Strange band aids. With a sneer, she stormed towards the old man.
..And the scene changed to show the old martial arts practitioner falling down a very, very long series of steps. Paige stood at the top of the steps and stared down as he continued to fall. And fall. And fall some more. After a loud thud, the sounds of his tumbling ceased.*
Paige: Jack off.
*Paige turned and began to walk away from the steps and the temple while pulling out her cell phone*
Paige: Paul? Get someone to deliver me a Tae-Bo dvd to train for this match.
Kung Fu Hustle!
- I get to be in this one too?! Hells yeah! - Weak sauce.*A very loud and aggravated scream came from the shared hotel room of Marys and Paige. The blond was slumped onto a couch wearing just a green tank top and underwear. One arm was draped over the top of the couch and her eyes were focused on the television in front of her.*
Maryse: My hang over is saying you're too [HORRIBLE EXPLETIVE]ing loud. I mean unless you're, like, missing your period. That would suck.
*The raven haired newcomer stomped over to the couch until she was standing over Maryse. She was wearing a long, black dress with white and blue stockings underneath. Two dark blue colored ribbons were resting on either side of her head.*
Paige: Who the hell do you think you are leaving me behind last week to get my ass kicked?!
Maryse: I 'unno.
Paige: Don't "I 'unno" me! You could have helped!
Maryse: Hooker, do you really think I was going to fight anybody in that dress?
Paige: Damn it! Everything I do is stream lined and precise! You live like a hoarder! You've been in this hotel for five minutes and it already looks it exploded! Look what you put in your mouth in your mouth and I'm not just talking about DICK!
*Paige motioned to the alcohol, half-eaten pizza box and potato chips strewn across a closely positioned table.*
Paige: We should have both attacked A.J. but NO! You had to run off!
*Maryse just lazily smiled up at her gothy running mate.*
Maryse: You need some inner peace.
*She handed up a bag of extra spicy, red hot potato chips.*
Maryse: Try these.
*Paige promptly smacked the bag from her hand and onto the floor.*
Maryse: Look, skank, I'm trying to be nice here!
Paige: Yes, offering me a bag of half-eaten, moldy potato chips is VERY NICE!
Maryse: ..Ugh. Go be British somewhere else.
Paige: You should..never..ever..procreate..
Maryse: I'm about to be Women's Champion. Guy's are going to want to procreate with me from far and wide.
Paige: Oh yeah? Well, I'm going to win a match to become the next Sky High Champion!
Maryse: Secondary title.
Paige: Huh?
Maryse: Secondary title and nowhere near as important as the Women's. It's held by ASHLEY MASSARO. That should tell you something.
*The pair glared deeply at one another.*
Paige: I'm going to win my match. And then I'm going to win the Sky High Title. And I'm going to elevate it so much that it's going to blow your slutty ass right off the map!
Maryse: You can go right ahead and try, Powder!
*Paige was very aware that in order to one up Maryse that she was going to have to take drastic measures. In order to become the number one contender to the Sky High Title she would have to travel to a far off place to receive the kind of training that would accomplish that. She stormed out of the hotel and slammed the door behind her.*
- And Maryse said..nothing you idiots! Maryse is dead, she's locked in my basement!*Traveling to a far off place in a goth dress was not advisable so Paige had switched up her attire. She was now wearing a black hoodie, hood pulled up, black track pants with a purple stripe on the pant legs, and purple running shoes. A back pack full of her worldly belongings rested over her shoulder. She had made it to a large temple where an asian man in a white robe sat on stone steps. He had white hair, large, bushy white eyebrows and a long white beard. He sat in a meditative position. Paige approached him and knelt down.*
Paige: Master. Please train me so that I can defeat Christy Hemme, Layla..and..that..other bitch with the big ass. I must become Sky High Champion.
Master: Your voice causes discomfort to my ears. But I will train you. You are not to speak unless spoken to. Ah ha. Ha ha. Ha ha.
*He dramatically stroked his long beard and the scene changed. The Kung-Fu master was sitting on a stone pillar with a sturdy piece of wood propped up between it. Paige repeatedly punched the wood but was visibly annoyed since it clearly hurt her knuckles.*
Master: This will train your spirit and your heart. To never give up. To never stop fighting. Christy Hemme, Layla and..that one bitch with the big ass will not be prepared.
Paige: ..Damn well better this is hurting my fist, dumb old man.
*The Master bopped her on the top of the head with the cane he carried.*
Master: No talking.
*Paige shot a glare up at the old man but continued to bring her fist into the wood. He once again stroked his beard. The scene changed and Paige stood in front of the white haired warrior in the center of the out door temple. He motioned to her.*
Master: Let's see how good you really are. If..you land a single blow, I will bow down and call you master. Ah ha. Ha ha. Ha ha.
*Paige looked down at her sore knuckles which were covered in Emily Strange band aids. With a sneer, she stormed towards the old man.
..And the scene changed to show the old martial arts practitioner falling down a very, very long series of steps. Paige stood at the top of the steps and stared down as he continued to fall. And fall. And fall some more. After a loud thud, the sounds of his tumbling ceased.*
Paige: Jack off.
*Paige turned and began to walk away from the steps and the temple while pulling out her cell phone*
Paige: Paul? Get someone to deliver me a Tae-Bo dvd to train for this match.