Serial Killers
Posted: Mon Jul 02, 2018 9:55 pm
- Matt Hardy was backstage talking to himself loudly, occasionally laughing to himself as well. From the hallway, the arena could be heard cheering for Mankind who was being helped to the back by EBWF medical staff. Matt Hardy had just gotten done planting Mankind in the ring with the Total Deletion after Mankind had lost the number one contender match for their team. Michael Cole quickly came up to Hardy as the camera cut to the arena. Hardy and Cole were seen on the tron, as the crowd angerly booed Hardy. Before Cole could ask his first question, Hardy cut him off –
Matt Hardy: If there is one thing I have learned in my expeditions through time, it’s that sometimes the right thing to do, is not always the easiest thing to do! There was nothing easy about what I just did to Mankind out there.
- The crowd booed even more now –
Matt Hardy: That’s not completely true, I suppose. It was extreeeeemly easy putting him down for the count. What wasn’t easy, was turning my back on the people out there in that arena. But, seeing as how quickly they turn their back on me, disreeeespecting me with boos so quickly. What ever happened to loyalty?!
- The crowd continued to boo as Cole finally spoke up –
Michael Cole: Matt, I think I ask the same question on everyone’s mind right now… Why?
Matt Hardy: I’ll do you one better Cole, I’ll tell you exactly why I did it!
- Cole had an extremely confused look on his face –
Matt Hardy: Years ago, if you recall, Matt Hardy was one half of the greatest tag teams in the professional wrestling industry. Along with his… MY brother, we won tag title after tag title. We defeated some of the best tag teams the world had to offer. And we defeated them handedly. At the same time, in the same company, Mankind was becoming one of the best singles wrestlers of the times. He was walking through the likes of The Rock, Stone Cold Steven Austin, and The Undertaker. For that reason, Cole, you could see why I was ECSTATIC when I heard the news of Mankind coming to EBWF. I remembered those times he had, those times I had, and I thought one thing. If he could do that by himself, and I completed the greatest tag team of all time, we could easily become the most exquisite tag team in EBWF history. Then… it happppppppened!
Michael Cole: I may regret this, what happened exactly?
Matt Hardy: I got a message, telling me to meet someone in the boiler room. My first instinct was to think that this was a very strange request. But, then I remember who I am, and what company I was wrestling for. Strange is the norm in EBWF. So, I showed up to the boiler room when I was told to. Cole, don’t ever do that, okay? PROMMMMMISE ME YOU WILL NEVER DO THAT!? The boiler room is not the fun playhouse it sounds to be. It’s dark… It’s hot… It’s… moist!
- Hardy paused as Cole smirked for a moment –
Now that I think about it again, I quite enjoyed the boiler room. Interesting!
Michael Cole: So if you enjoyed the… moist… boiler room, what exactly was the problem?
Matt Hardy: The problem, COLE, is that Mankind should be fined for false advertisement! He gave the impression that he was the old Mankind, capable of great things. Capable of running in EBWF with me to become the greatest tag team ever. Mankind, however, can barely even limp. Unlike me, the time was not kind to Man…kind. He is lethargic and lackadaisical! He is sloppy and unfocused. Most importantly, he has the motor of a car that is getting ready to die, much like that old thing he rides around in every day.
- The crowd booed –
I realized after single handedly carrying us through the match, and him single handedly losing it, that he was not the partner I was looking for. I saw the opportunity, and instead of helping him up and mending him back to health… I…
- Hardy paused and laughed –
… I DELETED HIM! I deleted Mankind! DELETE! DELETE! DELETE!
- The crowd booed loudly as Hardy laughed hysterically and the scene faded to black –
- Matt Hardy was seen sitting in a lounge chair in a locker room inside the Van Andel Arena getting ready for Warfare. Hardy had earphones in and was visibly flipping through the screen on his phone. Cole walked up next to Hardy and sat down in a chair across from him. Hardy looked up and acknowledged Cole being there –
Michael Cole: Matt, I was wondering if you had an opportunity to see what Jimmy Havoc had to say about your match later tonight?
- Hardy, who had looked back down to his phone, glanced back up again at Cole and gave an open mouth smile, and once again nodded. Cole, realizing Hardy hadn’t heard his question, raised his voice –
Michael Cole: MATT!
- Hardy removed his earphones while keeping eye contact with Cole –
Matt Hardy: I’m right here, MC, no need to scream. Did thou have a question?
Michael Cole: Matt, did you see what Jimmy Havoc had to say about you and your match later tonight?
Matt Hardy: YEEEEEESSSSSS, I saw what Jimmy said in my general direction. Of course, most of what was said to me came after, and during, his stabbing and murdering of, what can only be assumed, and innocent… hard working American mailman. Ahhh… Mail person, who happened to be a man this time, sorry about that. Unlike Jimmy, I don’t aim to offend, I aim to defeat.
Michael Cole: Havoc said he has you figured out, does this concern you in any way?
Matt Hardy: Concern me? MC, if you have seen, and done, some of the things I have seen and done… nothing anyone said to you in EBWF would concern you. Was it concerning seeing a grown man using a professional mail delivery person as a pin cushion? Slightly. Only slightly. But did anything he SAID concern me? I scoff at the idea. I’ve been traversing the world and beyond, before Havoc was even a tickle in his daddios pickle! And even so, I’ve barely, if at all, figured myself out. That’s with literally living in the same room with myself every day. I’m with myself during the most intimate moments, MC. I’m with myself in the office, I’m with myself in the bathroom, I’m even with myself in my own bedroom! All places Havoc has never been with me. I’ll reverse this whole Chihuahua and ask you a question. If, after all that time, I can’t figure Matt Hardy out, how in the heckkkkk has Jimmy Havoc?
Michael Cole: I don’t know Matt, he did mention a lot of serial killers and historical figures you claim to have locked up on the Hardy Compound. Maybe he knows more than you think he does?
Matt Hardy: MC, there is no way he knows more than I do. For I know everything. I see everything. And I see Jimmy Havoc sitting down to a nice meal after tonight’s match and eating his own words. Words that he will realize are a delicacy! Much like the green bean. But I digress.
It’s funny that Havoc mentioned famous serial killers like Jeffrey Dahmer, Jack the Ripper, and Charles Manson. It was then hilarioussss that he mentioned Dexter. I literally LOLED when I heard him say that. Dexter? He isn’t even real. But do you know what is real? I was actually just listening to my favorite podcast on Spotify. It’s a podcast produced by a company called Parcast. The podcast, also known as my favorite guilty pleasure, is called Serial Killers. The host literally talks about every serial killer that has ever walked on this earth. And while Havoc likes to think of himself as a savage, vicious human being… it’s odd, they don’t ever talk about him on the cast. They do however, talk about my favorite serial killer of all time. It’s not Manson, Dahmer, or Jacky Rips A Lot. No, my favorite is The Zodiac Killer. I enjoy The Zodiac Killer because his victims never saw him coming, and they never could figure out who he was exactly. Much like Jimmy Havoc, in the end, really has no idea who I am. Simply put MC, he has not even begun to figure me out.
Michael Cole: Did you actually know Jack the Ripper?
Matt Hardy: That is of minimal importance right now, MC! I do, however, know the likes of Aristotle, Genghis Khan, and… well, I knew Gandhi. And while what Havoc said about those men is true, it’s not nearly as it sounds. For every great man, in war or in life, have to do terrible things in order to get to where they wish to be. Did Aristotle kill? Sure. Did Genghis rape? Yeah, it happened a handful of times. But you know what else happened? That Lebran James figure, he broke the hearts of millions when he left the Cleveland Swordsmen, and he did that two times! You can’t kill someone more than once. Unless someone you previous killed comes back as a zombie, and then you subsequently kill them once more. But that hasn’t happened…. YET!
- Hardy grinned with a sadistic joy –
The point being, MC, that if I want to be the best I might have to do things that people don’t like. I proved that at King of the Ring when I permanently deleted Mankind from EBWF. And, tragically for Jimmy Havoc, I will continue his slide down to irrelevance when he becomes another name on my list of victims and put him down with my modus operandi, The Deletion. And unlike most serial killers, I don’t have a problem doing my dirty work in front of thousands of people. MC, whether I become the greatest wrestler this company has ever seen, or the most notorious serial killer this company has ever seen… it’s alright with me. Either way, I will have to go through Jimmy Havoc, and I will do just that tonight when I DELETE him in the ring.
- Hardy grinned and placed his earphones back in his ears and continued to listen to the Serial Killers podcast as the camera faded -
Matt Hardy: If there is one thing I have learned in my expeditions through time, it’s that sometimes the right thing to do, is not always the easiest thing to do! There was nothing easy about what I just did to Mankind out there.
- The crowd booed even more now –
Matt Hardy: That’s not completely true, I suppose. It was extreeeeemly easy putting him down for the count. What wasn’t easy, was turning my back on the people out there in that arena. But, seeing as how quickly they turn their back on me, disreeeespecting me with boos so quickly. What ever happened to loyalty?!
- The crowd continued to boo as Cole finally spoke up –
Michael Cole: Matt, I think I ask the same question on everyone’s mind right now… Why?
Matt Hardy: I’ll do you one better Cole, I’ll tell you exactly why I did it!
- Cole had an extremely confused look on his face –
Matt Hardy: Years ago, if you recall, Matt Hardy was one half of the greatest tag teams in the professional wrestling industry. Along with his… MY brother, we won tag title after tag title. We defeated some of the best tag teams the world had to offer. And we defeated them handedly. At the same time, in the same company, Mankind was becoming one of the best singles wrestlers of the times. He was walking through the likes of The Rock, Stone Cold Steven Austin, and The Undertaker. For that reason, Cole, you could see why I was ECSTATIC when I heard the news of Mankind coming to EBWF. I remembered those times he had, those times I had, and I thought one thing. If he could do that by himself, and I completed the greatest tag team of all time, we could easily become the most exquisite tag team in EBWF history. Then… it happppppppened!
Michael Cole: I may regret this, what happened exactly?
Matt Hardy: I got a message, telling me to meet someone in the boiler room. My first instinct was to think that this was a very strange request. But, then I remember who I am, and what company I was wrestling for. Strange is the norm in EBWF. So, I showed up to the boiler room when I was told to. Cole, don’t ever do that, okay? PROMMMMMISE ME YOU WILL NEVER DO THAT!? The boiler room is not the fun playhouse it sounds to be. It’s dark… It’s hot… It’s… moist!
- Hardy paused as Cole smirked for a moment –
Now that I think about it again, I quite enjoyed the boiler room. Interesting!
Michael Cole: So if you enjoyed the… moist… boiler room, what exactly was the problem?
Matt Hardy: The problem, COLE, is that Mankind should be fined for false advertisement! He gave the impression that he was the old Mankind, capable of great things. Capable of running in EBWF with me to become the greatest tag team ever. Mankind, however, can barely even limp. Unlike me, the time was not kind to Man…kind. He is lethargic and lackadaisical! He is sloppy and unfocused. Most importantly, he has the motor of a car that is getting ready to die, much like that old thing he rides around in every day.
- The crowd booed –
I realized after single handedly carrying us through the match, and him single handedly losing it, that he was not the partner I was looking for. I saw the opportunity, and instead of helping him up and mending him back to health… I…
- Hardy paused and laughed –
… I DELETED HIM! I deleted Mankind! DELETE! DELETE! DELETE!
- The crowd booed loudly as Hardy laughed hysterically and the scene faded to black –
========================================================================
Monday, July 2, 2018
Van Andel Arena
Grand Rapids, Michigan
3:00 P.M.
Monday, July 2, 2018
Van Andel Arena
Grand Rapids, Michigan
3:00 P.M.
- Matt Hardy was seen sitting in a lounge chair in a locker room inside the Van Andel Arena getting ready for Warfare. Hardy had earphones in and was visibly flipping through the screen on his phone. Cole walked up next to Hardy and sat down in a chair across from him. Hardy looked up and acknowledged Cole being there –
Michael Cole: Matt, I was wondering if you had an opportunity to see what Jimmy Havoc had to say about your match later tonight?
- Hardy, who had looked back down to his phone, glanced back up again at Cole and gave an open mouth smile, and once again nodded. Cole, realizing Hardy hadn’t heard his question, raised his voice –
Michael Cole: MATT!
- Hardy removed his earphones while keeping eye contact with Cole –
Matt Hardy: I’m right here, MC, no need to scream. Did thou have a question?
Michael Cole: Matt, did you see what Jimmy Havoc had to say about you and your match later tonight?
Matt Hardy: YEEEEEESSSSSS, I saw what Jimmy said in my general direction. Of course, most of what was said to me came after, and during, his stabbing and murdering of, what can only be assumed, and innocent… hard working American mailman. Ahhh… Mail person, who happened to be a man this time, sorry about that. Unlike Jimmy, I don’t aim to offend, I aim to defeat.
Michael Cole: Havoc said he has you figured out, does this concern you in any way?
Matt Hardy: Concern me? MC, if you have seen, and done, some of the things I have seen and done… nothing anyone said to you in EBWF would concern you. Was it concerning seeing a grown man using a professional mail delivery person as a pin cushion? Slightly. Only slightly. But did anything he SAID concern me? I scoff at the idea. I’ve been traversing the world and beyond, before Havoc was even a tickle in his daddios pickle! And even so, I’ve barely, if at all, figured myself out. That’s with literally living in the same room with myself every day. I’m with myself during the most intimate moments, MC. I’m with myself in the office, I’m with myself in the bathroom, I’m even with myself in my own bedroom! All places Havoc has never been with me. I’ll reverse this whole Chihuahua and ask you a question. If, after all that time, I can’t figure Matt Hardy out, how in the heckkkkk has Jimmy Havoc?
Michael Cole: I don’t know Matt, he did mention a lot of serial killers and historical figures you claim to have locked up on the Hardy Compound. Maybe he knows more than you think he does?
Matt Hardy: MC, there is no way he knows more than I do. For I know everything. I see everything. And I see Jimmy Havoc sitting down to a nice meal after tonight’s match and eating his own words. Words that he will realize are a delicacy! Much like the green bean. But I digress.
It’s funny that Havoc mentioned famous serial killers like Jeffrey Dahmer, Jack the Ripper, and Charles Manson. It was then hilarioussss that he mentioned Dexter. I literally LOLED when I heard him say that. Dexter? He isn’t even real. But do you know what is real? I was actually just listening to my favorite podcast on Spotify. It’s a podcast produced by a company called Parcast. The podcast, also known as my favorite guilty pleasure, is called Serial Killers. The host literally talks about every serial killer that has ever walked on this earth. And while Havoc likes to think of himself as a savage, vicious human being… it’s odd, they don’t ever talk about him on the cast. They do however, talk about my favorite serial killer of all time. It’s not Manson, Dahmer, or Jacky Rips A Lot. No, my favorite is The Zodiac Killer. I enjoy The Zodiac Killer because his victims never saw him coming, and they never could figure out who he was exactly. Much like Jimmy Havoc, in the end, really has no idea who I am. Simply put MC, he has not even begun to figure me out.
Michael Cole: Did you actually know Jack the Ripper?
Matt Hardy: That is of minimal importance right now, MC! I do, however, know the likes of Aristotle, Genghis Khan, and… well, I knew Gandhi. And while what Havoc said about those men is true, it’s not nearly as it sounds. For every great man, in war or in life, have to do terrible things in order to get to where they wish to be. Did Aristotle kill? Sure. Did Genghis rape? Yeah, it happened a handful of times. But you know what else happened? That Lebran James figure, he broke the hearts of millions when he left the Cleveland Swordsmen, and he did that two times! You can’t kill someone more than once. Unless someone you previous killed comes back as a zombie, and then you subsequently kill them once more. But that hasn’t happened…. YET!
- Hardy grinned with a sadistic joy –
The point being, MC, that if I want to be the best I might have to do things that people don’t like. I proved that at King of the Ring when I permanently deleted Mankind from EBWF. And, tragically for Jimmy Havoc, I will continue his slide down to irrelevance when he becomes another name on my list of victims and put him down with my modus operandi, The Deletion. And unlike most serial killers, I don’t have a problem doing my dirty work in front of thousands of people. MC, whether I become the greatest wrestler this company has ever seen, or the most notorious serial killer this company has ever seen… it’s alright with me. Either way, I will have to go through Jimmy Havoc, and I will do just that tonight when I DELETE him in the ring.
- Hardy grinned and placed his earphones back in his ears and continued to listen to the Serial Killers podcast as the camera faded -