Curtain Call youtube channel
Video uploaded 9/2/18
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Aiden English: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, Welcome to Curtain Call. I’m your humbled host Aiden English! It’s been a moment since we had a real moment to share so let me tell you about the most exciting news on the air. Aiden English is the Breakout Champion! And there are a lot of things I’m breaking out of. I’m breaking out of the pack and establishing myself as a front runner in this company nah, in this business. I’m breaking out of the case and onto the cover when it comes to EBWF2K19. That’s right, I’m getting my moment in the sun because I’m the fastest rising star in the EBWF Universe. A title that also belonged to the former holder of my title. But he raced across the Universe until a crown weighed him down and then he came crashing to the ground. His downfall began when he decided to trash me verbally on national tv. When he claimed that he didn’t care and that I was no threat to him. Turns out, the threat was real and I trashed him both verbally and physically. Yeah, I tossed him aside into a waste bin next to Daniel Bryan never to be heard from again. Now it would seem this record is on rapid repeat because another wants to attack me verbally but his vocabulary lacks even the wit of the men I’ve made quit since coming to this company. Bob Holly can call out on twitter how much he doesn’t care but when he steps in the ring with me, I’m punching his ticket and sending him home to assisted living and twenty-four hour care.
Aiden English: All that being said, we have a wild show for you to enjoy. Buckle in and prepare for a bumpy ride! Tonight we’re going to use the wayback time machine to take a look at the long and lackluster career of Hardcore Holly. Then, the sub par legend himself hits the streets to talk to EBWF wrestling fans about the height of Hardcore wrestling. Now, before we get on with the show don’t forget to drop us a like and if this is your first time here consider subscribing and hit that bell so you don’t miss a single episode of Curtain Call with everyone’s favorite wrestler, Aiden English.
Aiden English: I hate when technology doesn’t work.
Aiden English: Hey, does this footage not have color information?
Voice Off Screen: They didn’t have color cameras back then!
Jimmy Havoc: Sorry Sparky, but Jarrett’s foot was on the ropes so I have to overturn this decision. The Intercontinental title is now vacated and this win will not be counted. You and Jarrett will have another match to determine the real Intercontinental Champion tonight! Good luck Plug!
Fake Holly: Alright guys! We lose so often we might as well start our own faction of losers! Maybe if we work hard they will give us all a shot.
Fake Snow: Yeah! The J.O.B. Squad, to show them that we always get the job done!
Fake Scorpio: That’s right and maybe they will give the best of us a World Title shot.
Fake Snow: Hear that head? World Champion HEAD!
Voice Over: Please welcome to the Hardcore Hall of Fame, 2 Cold Scorpio!
Scorpio: I’d like to thank all of the other Hardcore legends who brought me to this point. Everyone who helped my career grow and become successful. Guys like Al Snow, Paul Heyman, Sandman, Taz and Shane Douglas. The real kings of hardcore history!
Aiden English: This thing! It just jumped too far into the future! Rewind it!
Fake Snow: It’s great to be the European Champion and escape my past as a complete loser. I only wish that more of my old friends could join me on this stage. I wish that I could do something to help their careers, but I’m afraid if I reach out to them, they’d just pull me under again!
Aiden English (off screen): Still too far into the future. I’m looking for spring of 2000. Also why is it showing us Al Snow? Didn’t I tell you to calibrate this thing for Holly?
Aiden English (off screen): What do you mean it doesn’t handle failure well? It’s failing fairly spectacularly right now! Oh, you mean it has a hard time following all the failures of his career? I get that, so did most wrestling fans!
Aiden English (off screen): NO! NO! NO! It’s one night too early. Go forward. Go forward one more day.
Voice Over: The Hardcore Champion, Hardcore Bob Holly! And his opponent, CRASH!
Voice Over: Your new Hardcore Champion, Crash Holly!
Aiden English (off screen): Ouch, that had to hurt. Getting beat down by the younger, smaller cousin.
Aiden English: I would like to apologize to everyone watch, but this trip through Holly’s career is about to get very dark and depressing.
Aiden English: The last high point in Hardcore’s career. The setting sun on his championship pursuits. Let’s watch!
Fake Holly: I NEED this! Please! I have to be a Tag Team Champion. I can’t make it on my own.
Fake Holly: We’ve been winning and I promise I’ll go on a diet so I’m easier to carry!
Aiden English: That was the last time Holly held a title! I know it’s sad. It’s pathetic. I feel sorry for Holly. No really, I do! If he was just the slightest bit talented he could have gone much further in this industry. Since I feel so bad about the state of his career, I hired him onto Curtain Call and I’ve sent him outside of the arena at an EBWF house show. He’s going to ask wrestling fans questions about hardcore wrestling! Check it out!
Fake Holly: What’s your name?
April: I’m April!
Ben: Hey, my name’s Ben!
Terry:Terry Thompson.
Jacob: I’m Jacob.
Carrie: Hi, I’m Carrie.
Fake Holly: We’re going to talk about hardcore wrestling both past and present. Let’s just start off by making sure you know about hardcore wrestling. Whose name is synonymous with hardcore wrestling.
Ben: Jimmy Havoc!
Fake Holly: No! Wait, let me finish the question. Like, when you think of hardcore wrestling whose name jumps out at you first?
Ben: Jimmy Havoc!
Fake Holly: NO! Wait! Can you pick someone whose name is literally hardcore?
Ben: Jimmy Havoc!
Terry: Mankind.
April: Zahra! She’s hardcore as hell! Did you see her tear her arm up to win at SummerSlam? That’s real Hardcore!
Carrie: Shane Douglas? I mean hardcore is dead right?
Jacob: Ummm… Oh, Rob Van Dam!
Fake Holly: What is your favorite moment in hardcore wrestling history?
Jacob: There was that big pay per view in 2000. There was a like 16 man match for the Hardcore title. That match was great!
Fake Holly: Yes!
Jacob: But then they ruined it by having some no name chump win it. I wish I could remember who that was.
Fake Holly: You mean Hardcore Holly?
Jacob: Is that who that was? I wonder what ever happened to that guy.
Fake Holly: I think he’s close by.
Jacob: Oh, he’s wrestling here tonight?
Fake Holly: Or closer.
Jacob: Huh? What are you tripping on dude?
Fake Holly: Nothing!
Ben: December 4th, 2005 when Shannon Moore became the EBWF Hardcore Champion!
Terry: Maybe it was when Punk united the No Limits and X-Division titles. That lead to the eventual creation of the Gateway Championship which is now held by my favorite wrestler Dalton Castle!
Fake Holly: Which wrestling promotion is most well known for hardcore wrestling?
Carrie: Easy, that’s ECW!
Fake Holly: What did you like about ECW?
Carrie: Everything! Until WWE took over and ran it into the ground! ECW without the hardcore rules is just weak sauce!
Fake Holly: Any upsides to that era of ECW?
Carrie: They didn’t put the ECW Title on some of the awful talent they had floating around their old Hardcore Division.
Fake Holly: Don’t you think that could have made it better?
Carrie: Nah, those guys that had never been ECW were just hardcore wannabes.
Fake Holly: What about Hardcore Holly? Have you ever heard of him?
Ben: Yeah! He’s a low card guy for EBWF! He’s probably wrestling at this event tonight!
Ben: Nevermind, his match is probably over already!
Carrie: Yeah, he’s one of those hardcore wannabes I was talking about!
Jacob: You just asked me about him a few minutes ago. You said he’s around here.
Terry: No clue mate!
April: Heard of him, I’m one of his biggest fans!
Fake Holly: Really?
April: Yeah, I mean I know his name! That has to make me one of his biggest fans!
Fake Holly: Did you realize you were being questioned by a hardcore icon? A six time hardcore champion? I’m Hardcore Holly!
April: I said I knew your name, not what you looked like! I think after seeing you, I don’t want to be your fan anymore. Sorry!
Ben: Told you his match was probably already over! Sorry I missed it. Did you put up a good fight before losing?
Terry: Whoa! You’re like an antique man!
Carrie: About that wannabe comment. Do you think I was being too nice?
Jacob: It’s you! Man, your career has got to be over if you’re out here talking to me instead of inside wrestling! Who are you facing this week at Warfare?
Fake Holly: Aiden English! And I’m going to kick his ass and take the Breakout Championship!
Jacob: Yeah, about that. Aiden is good man. Like I hate the guy but he’s a good wrestler. You’re probably going to lose that one my man.
Fake Holly: What do you think about my chances of becoming a champion when I face Aiden for the Breakout Championship this Monday on Warfare?
April: He’s cute! Much more palatable as a champion. Then again a title might distract from that weird thing you have going on with your face!
Fake Holly: What weird thing?
April: Being ugly as sin.
Carrie: Oh, you’re going to lose that match.
Terry: Aww shit. You’re fighting Aiden English? Is this like the highlight of your career? Are you excited? He’s a champion man! This is like a solid push to go up against him. He’s going to be on the cover of EBWF2K19 which you can preorder right now, did you know that.
Terry: Maybe after he beats you, you can run a fued with Big Show that’s more your speed.
Fake Holly: I already BEAT Big Show!
Terry: Oh! Well good job. Maybe then just feud with Scurll.
Fake Holly: I beat him too!!
Terry: Well, I um guess that’s it for you winning in the EBWF.
Ben: You know Aiden English and Jimmy Havoc are friends right?
Fake Holly: I heard a rumor.
Ben: That makes him a hundred times more hardcore than you just by association! Not to mention he’s beat guys like Randy Orton and Braun Strowman who are both like way way way way way way better wrestlers than you. You’re going to lose. You’re going to get beat. How can I say that more gently? Oh, you don’t stand a chance little buddy.
Aiden English: That’s all the time we have for this episode of Curtain Call. If you have a moment you’ll find a link down in the description. It’s a Go Fund Me that we’ve set up to cover the medical expenses for Hardcore Holly after I beat him to a bloody pulp Monday night. If you would be so kind as to donate, every penny is appreciated. You’ll have to remember that he hasn’t made a lot of money working dark matches and house shows. He’s never made it to the middle of the business, let alone the top and so he just doesn’t have much. Thank you all, and have a wonderful morning, day, night. Whenever you’re watching this!
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EBWF Facebook Live! with Renee Young
Monday 9/3/18 15 minutes before Warfare!
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The shot opened with Renee Young standing next to Aiden English. Between them was a monitor with the EBWF Warfare logo on it. Aiden was wearing solid black tights, gold boots and was standing their shirtless. The EBWF Breakout Championship was strung over his shoulder and he clinched it to his chest with his right hand.
Renee Young: Ladies and gentlemen thank you for joining us on Facebook Live, my guest at this time is EBWF Breakout Champion Aiden English!
Aiden English: Thanks for having me Renee. I’m sure you’ve got a ton of questions about my upcoming title defense so let’s just jump into the thick of it.
Renee Young: Actually, my first question is about the mysterious absence of both your wife, Raquel Diaz, and your ally, Elias Samson. What has kept them away from the arena tonight?
Aiden English: Elias is tactfully tearing through Tennessee, plieing textbook technique and talent to record a track for his upcoming album. My wife is back home in Chicago carefully calculating the capacity of a Uhaul and loading it with our belongings. We’re moving downtown to a penthouse suitable for a Champion.
Renee Young: What’s up with the way you’re talking tonight?
Aiden English: I have an lengthy lexicon laboriously learned and a love for linguistics likely lacked by my locker room contemporaries. An ability I will absolutely apply with absolute abandon never accidentally and always with aggressive accuracy.
Renee Young: Ooooo kay? Well then, now let’s talk about your opponent tonight and your first ever EBWF Breakout Title defense.
Aiden English: Meet Hardcore Holly, hardly handling his harrowing half-witted humanity! His threatening tweets more timid tickle than terse thrust. His vocabulary holds vast vacancy compared with my verbose vernacular. His skill a silly sideshow to my superior showmanship. His insufferable insults are the very image of an immature idiot spewing inumerable four letter idioms. I will fearlessly face this fatherly foe of forlorn failure. He will become a cautionary tale about how you don’t at a superstar half your age with twice your talent. He’s just another added name in my age old list of agitated aging average wrestlers put out to arid pasture. Like ol’ yeller the Director’s Cut is a mercy killing to a mediocre marvel of marvelous mediocrity. I’m just getting started and Holly’s past his expiration date. He’s exhausted everything in his extraordinarily ordinary arsenal just to get to me. Now he has to climb in the ring and go blow for blow with me. Him taking my title it’s not even the tiniest bit terrifyingly possible. Maybe Wes will wise up and just call an audible, a last minute substitution that makes this match a tiny bit more credible because I’m incredible and Holly’s career is simply regrettable.
Renee Young: I’m not sure, but did you call Hardcore Holly a failure?
Aiden English: He left his old life for new horizons because the grass is always greener on the other side, or.. so they say. But, greener grows the grass of the greater gardner and when it comes to this match Holly has been handed the toughest row to hoe. I’m agriculturally ahead of him in this awfully abstract analogy while he’s agriculturally abysmal with his annoying anger from every angle masking his anxiety from anybody not apt at attention to apparent details. Touting two wins to his timid name and he talks like a titan of talent who is only theoretically talented. Online his words are an offensive offering with an obvious objective to obfuscate his occupational objection to facing an opponent to whom there is no optimistic opposition. He claims carelessness in claiming championships and whines about the winning ways of way more willing warriors. But Hardcore Holly’s hold up isn’t an insufficient interest in trying to win, it’s an inability to seal the deal. See, the hallmark of his hopelessness is how long it took to get him here. Wrestling for an important title for the first time in his twenty something year career. Honestly, he’s an inspiration to all the up and coming talent for pure tenacity. And, even I’m impressed at how long he’s kept at this particular craft. Seeing as how most of his career he’s been up shit creek without a raft. So much so that he formed his own squad and they mostly went on with a much bigger nod. One had a foam head with a much bigger brain. Two more went into an extreme Hall of Fame. Honestly Holly has been hopelessly robbed. Because, he spent his prime years being effortlessly jobbed.
Renee Young: You mean he lost a lot in his early career? He did beat Big Show at SummerSlam to get this shot at you tonight. And before that he took a victory over Marty Scurll, doesn’t that count for anything?
Aiden English: An advantageous anecdote allows an alarming alteration to that narrative. Hardcore Holly won a street fight against the Big Show. Champion’s advantage says that he can’t go swinging steel if he wants to wear the gold. So he needs to hand over that chair and I’ll use it to,
Aiden English: sit this one out. Because even with my backside planted still, I’ll be twice the wrestler he ever will. I’m young and I’m hungry Renee. While Hardcore Holly has to put his dentures in just chew at firmer food. He might as well pack up and go home because today, I’m the better dude. Or, he can run his mouth some more and I’ll knock those dentures clean out. Because, when it comes to beating hardcore icons, I’ve built a certain amount of clout. In fact once they stand against me most men don’t have another bout. You say Holly will be back next week? Well Renee, I have my doubt. His winning ways are about to enter a drought. Which honestly is something I know nothing about. Yeah he beat Show, that was just a prelim. I’m that loser’s antonym. Sad for the woman unlucky enough to marry him. He tries to touch my title and I’m about to break his limb. Call Wes Ikeda tell him prep the bible hymn. Because two wins in and I’m about to bury him.
Renee Young: Speaking of the Breakout Championship, what does it mean to you to be defending the title for the first time tonight on Warfare?
Aiden English: The symbolism behind this shining shard of precious metal is serene. As far as I’m concerned there is only one such greater thing. My outlook on life has brought me to this poignant point of my perfect profession. Where i’ve picked myself up from precarious position and painful past patterns with nothing but passion and pride to propell my performance permanently past a point of no return. Where the planet is but a blue and green pearl polished among a pocket of perpetual perfect blackness and I live among the presence of the presiding pantheon of the Universe. We are the Kings and Queen of professional wrestling applying pressure to those pretending to be our peers and prescribing pain to those petty pretenders who press against our previous promotion from pupil to professor. All to protect the golden property provided our position. The same possessions are a prerequisite to participation in this paltry population of praise worthy performers. Holly prays in a pointless plea that he might have the pleasure to polish this piece of gold, and earn permanent praise for the person he has posthaustumously become. But, my pace is like a poison to his padded joints and a painful pesticide that will have him phoning the pharmacy after I pick up a predetermined pin over his pedestrian ass. Or more plainly put, this title and its importance to me is second only to my wife’s and Hardcore Holly doesn’t stand a snowball's chance in hell of taking it from around my waist!
Renee Young: You mentioned a pantheon of performers. Who do you label among that group here in the EBWF?
Aiden English: A predictable preposition that requires a more palatable prose response. It’s easy to count the Elite among the EBWF Universe. The Kings and Queen of this business as I said before, even when that list can change at any moment like it did at SummerSlam when the Miz was shown the door by returning member Jimmy Havoc. There is a system in place that quantifies and qualifies one for entrance into the upper crust of professional wrestling. That system allows for six seats around the table of greatness. Each seat is held in high esteem and closely guarded by the man or woman who sits upon it. The King of Goths, Jimmy Havoc, is the World Champion and that’s about as high up as anyone can be in this business. He sits at the head of the table so to speak. To his right sits the Queen of the Mountain, Zahra Schreiber, our reigning Women’s Champion who cemented her position by besting the best of her division all in one match. Tommy End and Michael Dante are the Kings of the Tag Team world because between them there is no division, they are one and the same like a Legionous hive mind. It would seem the unfortunate addition to this elite group is Dalton Castle, here only by virtue of being the Gateway Champion. Now I understand if you’ve lost interest at this point because simply uttering his inclusion leaves an awful taste in my otherwise pleasant mouth. Then Renee, then you have me. The Drama King and the Breakout Champion. An illustrious addition to the wrestling elite, forged in the fire of combat with a willingness to do whatever it takes to win. Unlike some others running around claiming the role, we are the wrestling royalty. We are the rulers of the EBWF Kingdom and tonight though Holly attempts to ascend my throne, by the end of the fight he’ll see his kingdom come.
Renee Young: Are you saying that only champions deserve admiration?
Aiden English: Anyone can be admired regardless of their personal defect. However, Champions have earned the right to call themselves Champions and thereby earned some manner of deserved respect. Holly has ignored the accolades at the feet of myself and many others. Diminishing our standing in attempt to bring it in line with his own. But even Dalton Castle is held on a higher platform than Hardcore Holly. The perennial king of the indies is better than a middle aged midcarder mindlessly clinging to the mid-nineties methodology. When hardcore was nothing more than a chair shot or a bare floor. Now the boundary is boundless and our World Champion fought a DEATH MATCH at Wrestlemania in front of thousands. The talent today is doing things wrestlers in an era of attitude could only dream about living to see. And when everyone was ruthlessly aggressive Holly had his hay day but now his aggression is average and his reward is just a pay day. This match with Holly is little more than a playdate I’d take my wife’s nephew to, and honestly he’d probably beat Hardcore Holly too. Funny thing is, little Salvatore Cinco is barely even two. With more talent in his tiny shoe than Holly has coursing through his entire being.
Renee Young: We are out of time. Aiden, thank you for your time and good luck tonight in your title defense.
Aiden English: Just get the garment bags ready Renee because tonight, I’m taking Hardcore to the cleaners and giving him a Crash course in real wrestling ability.