His eyes remained clothed as he took a deep breath.
Matt Sydal: Kevin Steen is a 34 year old Quebecer, weighing 266 pounds and standing 6 foot tall. My speed will be no match for his...his..lumpiness? Maybe?
Sydal sighed.
Matt Sydal: He’s one Championship after championship and I’ve pretty much followed him everywhere he’s ever been. PWG, ROH, IWA:Mid South and we’ve done it all and everywhere, you could say we’re determined to this for...a while?
Sydal laughed, smirked and opened his eyes.
Matt Sydal: Did you really think I’d be Mr. Wikipedia again?
The camera zoomed outwards to see Sydal sat in a Lotus Yoga position on a snowy mountainside. He unfolded his legs and performed a Handstand and craned forward to stand up straight, he bent his neck to both sides and cracked his knuckles.
Matt Sydal: You see, I’ve done a lot of soul searching lately and a lot of looking back. I watched every tape and every match and every goddamn promo I ever did in my last EBWF run.
He rubbed his beard and laughed.
Matt Sydal: God did I fucking suck. I lost a whole lot and kinda deserved it I think.
Sydal scratched his head.
Matt Sydal: I haven’t just realised that, I realised that back then but I just didn’t wanna know about it. I wore a SnapBack backwards indoors, I carried a fucking skateboard but never rode it.
Matt looked straight into the camera and zipped around his mouth to tell a secret.
Matt Sydal: Truth me told I didn’t know how too!
He laughed.
Matt Sydal: I had deadweight in a stupid little bleach blonde Welsh guy who never really helped things and just lost alongside me. So, I left EBWF. I don’t think EBWF really cared and nor should they, I didn’t even care. I took my last paycheck and took a one way flight to South West China and decided to live off the land.
He opened his arms out wide to show his surroundings.
Matt Sydal: I eventually made my way down to Australia, battered and bruised I got through Australia until I finally got here to the wonderful island of Lombok. I got here and I looked for a job, now I don’t know if you’re aware of the Indonesian Islands but there isn’t really a big shout for Ex-EBWF Wrestlers at Indy Promotions over here. However, I was recognised...people knew who I was. I could walk through the markets and get free potatoes and free fruit and vegetables, I pretty much lived on a pretty beautiful island for free.
Sydal smiled.
Matt Sydal: Some Guys didn’t like that. All these Indonesian Girls hadn’t seen a pretty American like me before so naturally they gawked towards me. Now one day, I was sitting in my hammock and I was attacked by a bunch of dudes. Left me bloody beyond belief and I had no idea what to do, I couldn’t go into the market as I’d of embarrassed myself. I decided to leave, I was walking along until I met this old man by a road near Mount Rinjani. He asked me to stay and promised me shelter and to train me. I had no idea what this training would be, but I had no other real options so it happened.
Sydal performed some slow strikes outwards.
Matt Sydal: He taught me the ancient technique of Silat. Silat was originally founded when a woman say a Bengal Tiger fight an Eagle, she copied the Tigers movements to fend off would-be attackers. She taught this to her husband and since the 14th century, it has been passed down from generation to generation. It has turned me into the unabashed loser and happy go lucky skater to a focused warrior. I now have the skills to defeat anyone and anywhere.
Matt looked to the camera.
Matt Sydal: Take people like Kevin Steen, a man who was once again waltzed into EBWF and has demanded his World Title shot live on television.
Matt sighed.
Matt Sydal: It’s just pathetic, I remember when I used to demand things instead of being patient. I used to want Tag Title shots and Breakout title shots like they were pain meds, popping them off one by one. I suppose you know how popping pain meds feels...right Kev? You see I have no use for any sort of government created medicines or vaccines, everything that goes into my body is fully organic and came from this god's wonderful green earth. You could learn a thing or two from me Kev, you could do with coming to Lombok and learning Silat, maybe you could learn to see how to earn what you truly deserve.
Sydal smiled and crossed his arms.
Matt Sydal: Silat teaches not only a unique fighting style of strikes, locks and body manipulation it also teaches you how to envision exactly what you want and how to get it, but it shows you the steps you need to take to get it. You see your ultimate goal is to get the EBWF World Championship...correct? You see, If I was your Sensei, your first step would be too…
Sydal recoiled slightly and quivered his lip.
Matt Sydal: You definitely need to lose some weight Kev. I can help you, one major part of living in Lombok is there’s not much meat going around and if it is, it’s very expensive. So you can do what I did...go Vegan!
Matt started to flex.
Matt Sydal: Honestly, I’ve never felt better about my body and my energy and stamina since going vegan. I do not eat or drink anything that had a heartbeat, I forage and created my own nutrients from the ground below your feet and the trees above your head.
Matt looked into the camera.
Matt Sydal: Honestly, that kinda gives me the advantage too. You’ll probably wake up on Monday morning and eat some cereal or pancakes or something. You’ll drive to the building, but stop on the way for a quick bite at whatever Animal killing bullshit place is around and stock up there. All that gluten and just disgusting meat floating around in your body Kevin, that’s just going to slow you down. You’re already a big guy, you've already lost your agility and now you’re hampering it even more. When you have me who’s going to be in the best shape of my fucking career thanks to healthy living and clean eating, who’s going to be 10 times faster than you and 3 times stronger. What’s the point in even showing up?
Matt smiled.
Matt Sydal: Look, you can talk all you want but at the end of the day you’re a slob who needs to change his lifestyle and I can help you with that. I can help you become Vegan, I can teach you Silat. You’ve just got to accept what you’ve become, a wasted fat husk of your former self.
Matt laughed.
Matt Sydal: I’ll see you Monday Kev, I’ll be the good looking healthy guy that your wife wishes she was.
Sydal winked at the camera as the scene flew outwards to show the Mount Rinjani scene until eventually fading to black.
