Return To The Asylum
Posted: Mon Sep 24, 2018 9:17 pm
Somewhere in West Virginia
- The screen was blurry and dank as the camera slowly panned around in a circle in an attempt to find some lighting. The camera crew had cameras with them that had lights attached, and other lighting pods with them, but they had mysteriously stopped working the second they entered the building. As the camera turned to the left, a small glimmer of light could be seen at the end of what appeared to be a long dark hallway. As the camera person began to walk toward the light slowly, he spoke with another crew there with him –
Cameraman: Why were we sent out here in BFE? This place is dark and unsettling to say the least.
Crew Member: We were given explicit directions to come here and go to room A66… and unfortunately, I think 66 is down at the end of this hallway.
Cameraman: We don’t get paid enough for this nonse….
Crew Member: Should I knock? Or… ?
- The camera man reached out and pushed the door open. The room was dark except for a flicker of light that appeared to be a lit candle. The two men walked in to the room hesitantly and made it a few steps before the camera man whirled the camera around to a dark corner –
???? – Yessssss…. Yessssss…
Matt Hardy: YESSSSSSSS!!
Matt Hardy: It’s okay good Sire, I will stay seated. Besides, I have some of my friends down here still.
Matt Hardy: Ahh, I see you are making acquaintances with my friends. Lucky for you, I’m not a jealous person. We can all be friends!
Camera Man: Matt, how did you get here? How long have you been here?
Matt Hardy: When did I make my last appearance in EBWF.
Crew Member: It’s been about three weeks? Around?
Matt Hardy: Then I would say I have been here about three weeks. But don’t you dare feel sorry for me. Sure, the first couple of days were rough, but I’ve experienced much worse situations in much worse conditions than this! Have you ever been down in the trenches, the dirty, muddy trenches? With bullets flying around your head? I have. Way back in World War I, and let me tell you, I’d much rather be here… Speaking of here, where exactly am I?
Crew Member: We are in the middle of West Virignia.
Matt Hardy: Ahh… The Mountaineer state!
Crew Member: Matt, we are in the Trans-Allegheny Lunatic Asylum.
Matt Hardy: I’m assuming Vanguard1 delivered my message with my coordinates? How else could you have found me?... Wait, did you say Trans-Allegheeeeeeny Lunatic Asylum? I’ve been here before!
Crew Member: Was it earlier this week?
Matt Hardy: NO! I was here in 1873, when the exact acreage of the grounds was 666 acres. I was brought here to receive rehabilitation for being a jealous husband to a famous, rich woman.
Crew Member: Ironic isn’t it? I guess the rehabilitation worked since you aren’t jealous of us being friends with your friends.
Matt Hardy: Worked? WORKED? The only thing that worked here were the “doctors” using their prods and electricity tests to “fix” us. They didn’t have any intention of fixing us, they were just perverts who got their rocks off to electrocuting people.
Crew Member: How did you get off the ground? And how did you get out of the jacket?
Matt Hardy: Oh, this old thing?
Matt Hardy: This is just an old jacket I found somewhere laying around. I was cold. It’s cold in here. You should try it on, it is indeed quite comfortable!
Crew Member: You wear the jacket for heat?
Matt Hardy: Don’t forget that it is comfy too!
Camera Man: Screw that, where did that scream come from?
Matt Hardy: Oh, yeah, that? She is another friend of mine that is in here. But I have to warn you, unlike my friends here on the floor resting, she isn’t very fond of humans.
Crew Member: Of humans? What was that?
Matt Hardy: Yes, precisely. I suggest we run to the exit down the hall before you find out what she is, and what she is capable of.
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Sunday, September 23, 2013
Pepsi Center
Denver, Colorado
Matt Hardy: Welcome, to my home away from the Hardy Compound. Why is this my home you ask? Simple! They say that home is where the heart is. Well… little known fact about me is, my heart belongs to the best carbonated beverage on this planet. I’ll give you two guesses on what that drink is. What? Dr. Pepper? That answer deserves to be… DELETED! No, I am obviously talking about…
Matt Hardy: PEPSI! Only obviously because we are here at the Pepsi Center.
Tonight, I make my much anticipated return to an EBWF ring after a few weeks, months… after some amount of time away. I will be facing an old foe of mine, Dalton Castle. Did I win the last time I faced Dalton Castle? I’ll be honest, I don’t recall. But something I have learned in my many travels through different periods is this… If you give your full effort and energy, no matter what the outcome is.. you are a winner. So according to that stance… yes, I did beat Dalton Castle last time I faced him. Something else working against Dalton Castle? I promised my friends from the Asylum I was going to win my next match for them. I think I might go back and see them after my victory tonight since I didn’t get to say goodbye when I left earlier this week.
- Hardy grabbed a Pepsi drink from one of the stacks and opened it. He lifted the drink to his lips and tilted his head back as he chugged the entire 16 ounce soda bottle –
Matt Hardy: Ahh…
- Hardy belched a loud, long burp –
Matt Hardy: I can’t think about going back and seeing those guys just yet though. I must focus on beating Castle first. I could never show my face to them if I didn’t follow through on my very sincere promise. They would never understand and would never let me live it down. No, I guess I just have to go out there and defeat Castle. Oh, yes, I remember facing Castle last time. Silly me, I was under the impression I would be facing an entire castle of people like I did back in the good old days of war and famine. You can imagine how relieved I was when I realized it was just one man. And a man that dresses up like a peacock non the less. Although peacocks can be an intimidating creature in the wild, they are very tame when they are docile. And from what I have seem from Dalton Castle in his time in EBWF, he is very very docile.
Matt Hardy: I feel like I am rambling on here. Sorry, I haven’t really had anyone to talk to for the last couple of weeks. I hate to be a rude host, but I am going to have to cut this little meet and great short for now. I have to go focus on my match with the VERY INTIMIDATING peacock guy. It’s going to be… DELETE, DELETE, DELETE!!!!