Christian's Lemons
Posted: Sun Sep 02, 2012 1:55 pm
Frustration
[There was no peep show graphic today, as Jason Reso laid on a black sofa, he wore a long sleeved brown shirt and some plain jeans. His face was as serious as it could be and on the couch behind him sat Terry Gherin, otherwise known as Rhino. Jason looked up at the ceiling as he began to speak.]
Christian: I don't get it... I was doing well, I beat Hawkins, I beat Evan, and I beat Dwayne... but then it all started going downhill from there... I lost the next matches in a row. Back then, I had EVERYONE behind me, even the Internet. But now, people are saying that I've lost it. They're saying that I don't have what it takes to win a match, no matter how small it is... They said that about a lot of guys, I know that... But are they right, Terry?
Rhino: Buddy, I'll tell you a secret, you're only as good as you make yourself out to be, you are an excellent wrestler, with outstanding promo and in-ring skills, besides, it's not like you're on a huge losing streak, you lost three matches!
Christian: IN A ROW!
[Christian got up from the couch and started pacing back and forth, until he finally stopped and reached a wooden chair, he picked it up and threw it into a wall breaking the chair, and putting a dent on the wall in the process.]
Rhino: What are you doing?! Don't break the peep show set, you need that, for tapings!
Christian: FUCK that! When my life starts falling apart, I have the right to trash whatever I damn well please!
Rhino: Dude, you gotta calm the hell down...
Christian: Calm down? CALM DOWN!? First, I start losing matches then, Ashley goes M.I.A... not the mention that little issue that Adam and I still don't see eye to eye! I have the right to get mad!
Rhino: Woah, woah... Dude, sit down, I'm gonna drop some knowledge on you.
Christian: This should be good...
[Christian obliged and sat down.]
Rhino: Throughout my career, I was the loose cannon, everyone was afraid to fight me, because I'd seriously hurt people. And then, when I got back to the hotel, my room would always get trashed, whether I was pissed or not. You know what happened? They started calling me a liability, companies wouldn't sign me because my expenses wouldn0t be worth it! Now I know what you're thinking... You're thinking that this is just one time, that this is just one hotel room, but trust me... it's not. You can't stop, because when you trash that hotel room, you're getting rid of all the frustration, all the angst, and all the anger. When, instead, you should be taking out all of that on your opponents in the ring! A wise man once said: If life gives you lemons, make lemonade!
Christian: Make lemonade, eh? I see what you're saying, Terry! Listen, I'm hungry, wanna go grab something to eat?
Rhino: Let's go!
[The two men walk away as the scene faded to black.]
Interview w/ Todd Grisham
[The cameras cut to Todd Grisham, who is standing backstage alongside Christian who was wearing a "Kill the Switch" T-Shirt and his normal wrestling tights.]
Todd Grisham: Hello, ladies and gentlemen, I am standing back here with Christian, who specially required an interview for EBWF.com. Christian, what is the point of this interview?
Christian: Todd... This interview is to announce something very special regarding my career. The past week, I've been dealing with the three losses in a row, and the questions that popped to my mind were... Have I lost my touch? Should I hang up my boots? Is it time for "Captain charisma", "The Instant Classic", the leading "Creepy Little Bastard"... to retire?!
Todd Grisham: Did you reach a conclusion?
Christian: I did... I decided: HELL NO, I am NOT done in any way, shape, or form! Have you heard the saying, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade?
Todd Grisham: Yeah, uh...
Christian: Well, that's total crap! I prefer to go by Cave Johnson's words!
Todd Grisham: Who's Cave Johnson?
Christian: Look it up! Anyways... he said "When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade... make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager. Make life rue the day it thought it could give ME lemons. Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons. I'm going to to get some engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!"
Todd Grisham: Uh...
Christian: Anyways, the point is, up until now I've been going easy, I've tried to be nice and win cleanly, but it's time for me to GET MAD! Captain Charisma is still the same guy out of the ring, but when that bell rings, I will get mad, we're all here because EBWF wants the best and I'M IT!
Todd Grisham: Christian, on Warfare you'll face R-Truth, an old friend of yours, will your friendship play a part in this match?
Christian: Have you been ignoring what I said? I have been nice to my opponents for too long, sorry, Truth, but it's time for me to get mad. R-Truth will be the first to see the difference! Oh, and just so there's no confusion... I haven't "turned my back" on the EBWF fans, I have, however turned my back on holding back. I'm not going to go on and on about Truth, but I will say this... I'm sorry that your debut won't be a pleasant one... but I have let myself be stepped on too many times. My heart beats for my peeps. It always has and always will beat for my peeps, and I'm sorry, but it's time to get mad!"
[Christian hit his chest three times and pointed at the camera with his trademark smirk, before walking away, ending the entire segment.]