The Royal Rumble had always felt like a new start to Trish. The excitement of a new year. EBWF celebrating another year on top of the industry. The women’s match may only be half as long, but it was just as exciting. The talent got better every year. And this year, everything was bumped up a notch because they were competing for the Women’s Championship.

It had been a bit of a kick in the gut when EBWF had let Zahra Schreiber break Trish’s record for longest reigning EBWF Women’s Champion without at least running a program where Trish tried to stop her. Trish was truly happy for her. She even felt like Zahra had deserved it with all the hard work she’d put in. A program would have been nice though. A match. Defending her record. But instead, Trish did the house show circuit and just appeared to have let it happen. It had been so disappointing.

But a new year promised new opportunities. A Royal Rumble. Wrestlemania. A Queen of the Ring. So much to accomplish. Trish stood backstage in front of an EBWF logo with Renee Young. A cameraman began rolling, and Renee kicked things off.

Renee Young: Joining me now to talk about the Women’s Royal Rumble is the competitor entering tonight at number two, she is the Quintessential…

Trish cleared her throat.

Trish Stratus: While I’m not one to shirk history, because I am most definitely still the Quintessential Diva, but I think tonight a more appropriate introduction would be the greatest women’s wrestler of all time.

Trish waited, expectantly and Renee seemed to realize that Trish expected her to start over.

Renee Young: Oh, um… joining me now to talk about the Women’s Royal Rumble is the competitor entering tonight at number two, she is arguably the greatest women’s wrestler of all time… Trish Stratus.

Trish narrowed her eyes at Renee.

Trish Stratus: Arguably? That’ll do I guess.

Renee Young: There will be 15 women in the match tonight, Trish.

Trish Stratus: There will be. Including our women’s champion Zahra.

Renee Young: As I stated in our opening, you’ll be entering at number two…

Trish Stratus: I will. Which means I’ll have a long time until the end, but I think that could be to my benefit. I’ve had a moment in the ring with almost all of these ladies, but I have to get started with one whom I don’t know much about at all. Raquel Diaz. Daughter to the late, great Eddie Guerrero. Wife of Aiden English. I have to tell you Raquel. I know we haven’t seen you in the ring yet, but I was very impressed with you and everything I heard you say about this match. I truly appreciate the nod, and I hope you have some of that Guerrero Wrestling Ability. We’ll have 90 seconds to tear down the house, just the two of us, but that’s all the time I’ll need to teach you a thing or two. Good luck out there tonight. I’ll be pulling for a long showing for the both of us.

Renee Young: Also making a bit of return of sorts is Charlotte Flair. She’ll be entering at number three.

Trish Stratus: Truthfully, Renee? I’m not worried about Charlotte Flair, and I don’t think she’s going to last long enough for Zahra to have to worry about her either. Charlotte clearly has all of the makings of an amazing competitor, but she’s far too arrogant to capitalize on any of it. Part of the drawback of knowing how good you are is that it causes some of us to think we don’t have to work for things before we’ve paid our dues. Charlotte wants Trish Stratus billing without the Trish Stratus levels of experience. Get in line, Charlotte.

Renee Young: Do you have any thoughts on Nikki Cross?

Trish Stratus: I mean, I’m not scared of much, Renee. But Nikki cross is clearly unhinged. And I think the worst thing Angelina can do is set her lose in a toy box full of her women’s roster. But I guess Angie knows best in these matters. Has anyone even been able to explain the rules to Nikki? It doesn’t seem like she’s very quick on the uptake.

Renee Young: Don’t you think she’ll take offense to that?

Trish Stratus: I don’t even think she’ll be paying much attention. Kind of like what the EBWF Universe has done to Liv Morgan. She was the darling of last year, and now, hardly a peep out of her. Just random instagram posts of her eating whatever. Not cute.

Renee Young: You must have seen who is entering at number six?

Trish Stratus: The 11 time EBWF Women’s Champion, Torrie Wilson. Torrie is still in incredible shape, though she has taken to retirement in recent years. I can’t begin to count the number of matches I’ve had against Torrie, but I do know that I respect her. I look forward to welcoming her back to an EBWF ring with a chick kick to the face, and then helping her eliminate some of those snotty little princesses, before I throw her over the top.


Renee Young: Ruby Riott has drawn number seven.

Trish Stratus: I’m not familiar with her. Don’t care to be familiar with her. And probably won’t be impressed by her either. Speaking of people who aren’t impressive. What about last year’s winner, Renee?

Renee Young: Alexa Bliss?

Trish Stratus: I mean… I think so. It’s hard to remember considering she’s been awfully quiet lately, and losing a whole lot. Hard to hold a candle to these ladies that have taken over, and can you blame her? She was never that great to begin with, so imagine her horror when the field is growing and there are so many more that are better than her.

Renee Young: What about the other veteran in the match, Velvet Sky?

Trish Stratus: I think everyone knows I have love for Vel. She’s been an incredible ambassador for EBWF and Women’s Wrestling. I’m honored to go to war with her tonight, and I’m super excited that she’ll be around to rearrange Zahra’s face when she comes in at number ten. I don’t know if Zahra understands the target that’ll be on her back. 14 other women are going to want to do their damndest to eliminate her, and not just because she’s women’s champion. She’s been nasty, vindictive and hiding behind Legion. If there’s one thing the women’s locker room doesn’t like it’s a woman that plays mouthpiece for a group of men and then hides behind them. Do they not have brains of their own? Why does she feel she has to mastermind a mediocre stable? I think a woman who does something like that lacks confidence.

Renee Young: There are five women who will enter after Zahra. The first of which is Maria Kanellis.

Trish Stratus: Not impressed.

Renee Young: Maria Kanellis?

Trish Stratus: Yeah, Mickie is cute, but the only exciting thing happening to her this year is marrying the Miz. To be honest, the back third of this tournament is very disappointing. I think Becky Lynch has probably already peaked before she even got started. Summer Rae is too embroiled in conspiracy theories and confusing scenarios to even compete properly, and I’m not entirely sure who Zelina Vega is.

Renee Young: What would becoming EBWF Women’s Champion again mean to you?

Trish Stratus: It will just be another token to prove what everyone already knows. I’m still the best women’s wrestler in the business, and while it’s a shame that I didn’t get the one on one match that I deserved, I’ll overcome. I can take out 14 other women to become the champion again, and I like the challenge because it’s just more evidence that I’m better than all the girl’s hanging around backstage. It’s time that someone starts dismantling Legion, and I think it would be wonderful, and rather unexpected, if I got things started with their women’s champion. Angelina making this Rumble for her championship was a brilliant move, and no matter our disagreements, I think the women of EBWF are with me when I say that we’re going to make sure that Zahra Schreiber leaves that ring tonight without the title. It also doesn’t hurt that it will return around the waist of someone who will give it the honor and dignity it deserves. Me.

Renee Young: Trish, thank you so much. The Royal Rumble begins tonight at 7 eastern as the road to Wrestlemania begins. You won’t want to miss it.

The scene faded to a promotional video for the World Championship Match at the Rumble.